Grim Reaper of Iwa
Chapter 23
Well, it is that time again! What rhythms with cupcake? UPDATE! This is Uzumaki Crossover and I have an update for you all! Sorry, I have been playing Fallout 3 again and I been listening to much GNR….damn you Three Dog.
And I recently heard that SOPA is fucking back. I say we oppose that shit mainly because on this site, we would ALL go to jail. It WILL GET SHUT DOWN. Oppose that shit because the people on this site offer up stories that we enjoy and immerse ourselves in simply because it is not our lives, which are crappy enough as is. It is an escape for us. Oh yeah and I am betting Youtube and all other social networks will get taken down and then we ALL go to jail for the dumbest things imaginable….with no trial.
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As soon at the ANBU told her of what was going on in the Tsuchikage's office, Tsunade and, to a lesser extent, Shizune rushed over to the Tsuchikage's Tower in a fairly large outcropping of rock.
She couldn't believe what she heard. Jiriaya was passed out on the floor, bleeding all over and missing an arm! The hell did he get himself into this time! Tsunade shook her head. She didn't care to know at the moment. Her last team mate was dying if the report was right and she needed to save him damnit. He was like family to her!
As she burst through the doors, Tsunade looked at her oldest friend and teammate in horror. She suddenly had flashbacks to her time with her old lover Dan and how she couldn't save him. Jiriaya was truly a bloodly mess and Pa Toad was looking on sadly while Ma Toad seemed to clutching at the man's served arm, which was in ice…which was good for her.
Squashing all thoughts of hopelessness, Tsunade quickly got to work on reattaching the arm. She would wait for Shizune to get there to get the rods out of the man's back and chest. It was reason since Shizune was heavily pregnant and really shouldn't be stressing herself like this, but Tsunade knew she would want to help.
Said woman came in a few minutes later and gained the same horrified expression her face. She nodded and did her best to help the man. Luckily, they had gotten there in time and Shima was smart enough to put the arm in ice. Otherwise, Jiriaya would have truly lost his arm. There would be some heavy scaring, but what did you expect when you get arm chopped off like that?
Next, they quickly removed the rods and healed up Jiriaya nicely. It was nerve racking, but they managed to save him…if barely. Now all they had to do was wait.
"So…he will be ok?" Onoki asked, showing no emotion on his face.
"For now he will, but if he doesn't give me a good enough answer as to why he ended up like this, I will kill him myself." Tsunade replied, making the old kage smirk a bit, but quickly hid it.
"I see. Then would you kindly use my ANBU to take him out of my office? His blood is staining my floor!" Onoki replied in annoyance, making Tsunade gain a tic mark on her forehead, but quickly complied.
As soon as they left, Onoki sighed dramatically. "Ugh…what's next. Are people going to tell me that Konoha is done for and my son in law is fighting one of the few remaining Herculean Release Users? Ugh, I am getting to old for this shit."
XXX
"I want a whopper!" A female voice announced and all attention went to the girl. Her name was Kairi, the Insane Poison Bitch of Oto. To many, this was a normal occurrence. You see, Orochimaru experimented on her so much, which so much body tearing poison that in order to escape it, she went to happy place…and never left.
So most of what she usually says is nonsense or related to something completely different.
Knarl rolled his eyes. "Come on, you just ate an hour ago!"
The frazzled green haired girl blinked owlishly. "So? Why so delicious?" Knarl just stared at the girl in annoyance, trying figure out what she was going on about. Hell he tried to do that on a daily basis and it gave him a headache.
"Does this happen a lot?" Naruto asked, a little put off.
"More than you know and more than I care about to actually talk about." Kabuto sighed in exasperation. "Anyway, back to business. If you truly want Oto to be with Iwa, then you are wasting your time. Most are insane and don't care about that type of thing. All they care about is the fights."
"I see." Naruto grumbled.
"However, there are some that are still somewhat sane and will join you. You just have to beat us to search what remains of the base. They are in holding cells."
"And you are telling us this because…why?" Kurotsuchi asked in suspicion.
"Simple, I want to fight Naruto, a fellow former leaf shinobi. I want to know why you are so special in this world now when you were nothing in Konoha." Kabuto replied.
"Very well." Naruto said as he and Kabuto faced each other. Knarl noticed this and lead Kairi away from the arena while Kitsuchi did so as well with Haku and Kurotsuchi. Kitsuchi absentmindedly wondering what Knarl's relationship with the girl was since he seemed to care about her.
Kabuto smiled darkly. He may not know much about the new Naruto now, but he knew plenty about the old. This would be easy. So he pushed up the glasses on his face as his smile got progressively darker. "So, Naruto-kun. Tell me, why did you leave Konoha?"
"Simple, they didn't want him and I was just a reminder of all the lost loved ones, including my father, the Fourth." Naruto replied with a deadpan.
Kabuto's eyes widened at that info. He didn't think Naruto knew that info, but whatever. "So you betrayed them for that? I had heard you wanted to be Hokage."
"You and I both know that would have never happened." Naruto replied neutrally. Kabuto inwardly growled at that. He was trying to get at Naruto through his experiences and emotions…..but it was not working. Naruto noticed that Kabuto had grown annoyed and asked his own question. "Why do you care?"
"I lived in Konoha for a time, but my adoptive father was my only true connection there and he was a fool. So like you, I have nothing for Konoha."
"Then I suggest you shut up with the emotional warfare and just fight." Naruto deadpanned, making Kabuto sweatdrop a bit. After all, he like dressing down his opponent before he actually fought. It help him a lot most of the time.
But whatever.
"Are you ready?" Kabuto asked with his signature smirk.
"As I'll ever be." Naruto replied with a smirk of his own as the shadows seemed to merge with him, giving him a more dark and creepy look with his hood up. This look made Kabuto sweat a bit.
Naturally, the medic tried to dispel the obvious genjutsu, but he had difficulty doing so. Whatever it was, it needed to go. Kabuto activated his Chakra Scalpel stabbed it into Naruto's chest….with no affect. It just went through the blond as he turned into black smoke.
"What the hell. I have never heard of a genjutsu like this."
"I call it Real Genjutsu." Naruto replied as he flew around Kabuto before diving into Kabuto's mouth.
"What the fuck!" Kabuto replied weakly as the black smoke started to seep out of his mouth and nose. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"Nothing much, I recently found out I can jump into people and kill them that way by turning solid again." Naruto replied, making Kabuto pale.
"You wouldn't dare!" Kabuto screamed, the crowd roaring at Naruto do to it. From the smoke, an eye stared at Kabuto before it closed and his chest exploded as the smoke rushed out.
"Well, that was easy." Naruto said as he reformed and shut off the jutsu. He was not taking any chances with this people since all they obviously wanted to do was kill other people. He would need to get the somewhat sane people out here.
"You would think that." Kabuto's voice replied, making the blond widen his eyes as he turned. Kabuto was slowly standing up as he gathered his innards and they watched his chest stitched itself back together.
"What the…" Naruto replied making Kabuto laugh.
"I see the shock on your face and I love it!" Kabuto replied with a twisted smile. "Our tormentor, Orochimaru had his fun with me as well."
"Ok stop, that sounds you like his pedophilic nature." Naruto replied with a deadpanned voice, making Kabuto and just about everyone else face vault.
"No! What the hell is wrong with you! Orochimaru wasn't gay, nor was he interested that way in young men. He got his kicked off of experimentation and torture due to him losing his genitals!" Kabuto shouted with a red face, making Naruto gawf before he cracked up.
"Oh my god that is hilarious!" Naruto shouted as he held his side.
Kairi decided to add in her two cents in as well as she broke into song. "Oh jingle bells, jingle bells, Knarl smells! Kabuto didn't get laid because Orochimaru lost his balls and Hanzo got away! Hey!"
"Oh my god…my ribs!" Naruto laughed even harder along with his friends on the side lines. Hell, even Kitsuchi cracked a smile. Knarl just rolled his eyes in annoyance.
"ENOUGH!" Kabuto shouted with a red face, whether it be from anger or embarrassment, that remains to be known. "As I was saying before that bout out idiocy come about, Orochimaru decided to test my healing abilities to their max and added in a few….benefits to it, making me a regenerator! I can heal from anything! Even lost limbs! I am invincible!"
"Oh really?" Naruto asked with an eyebrow raised. The blond shook his head and brought out his scythe before brought it down on Kabuto's chest with ease. In a fine blood spray, the medic's chest was once more opened up, making him chuckle.
"I see you have not changed much if you are not heading my words." Kabuto laughed as his chest stitched itself up again. "I heal instantly!"
"Heh, we'll see!" Naruto replied as he went into his ghost rider form, sliced off Kabuto's arms and legs, and then held up his limbless torso as he stared into the medic's eyes, absently noticing the limbs themselves where inching there way back to the main body.
"I have wanted to try this jutsu out for a long time." Naruto said as he caught Kabuto's attention, whose eyes started to stare into the dark depths of the eyeless skull form. "Your soul is stained with the blood of the innocent! Feel their pain! Darkness Style: Penance Stare!"
As the medic stared, he started to see things before his eyes widened and he felt pain all throughout his body as his healing ability seemed to stop. "No….NOOOOARGH!" The medic screamed in pain, agony, and fear. He saw all that he did in life. He saw all the people he kill and utterly destroyed with his own experiments. He saw all the people all the people he took for his special corpse jutsus and he felt all their pain and agony. It was beyond painful and insane.
When it was all over, Naruto stared at the limp form of Kabuto's torso, the medic's eyes looking like they were all burnt up. "Can you regrow your soul?" Naruto asked the catatonic man ominously.
He didn't get an answer.
The blond merely shrugged, not willing to find out. So he chucked the remains up into the air with his limbs. Naruto turned back to his normal self as his eyes changed to his special Sharingan. "Amateresu!" He called as the body burst into black flames. "Regenerate from that."
Kairi stared at the burned form as the rest of the large room went silent. "Kabuto went up in flames…" She said in awe before she was right next to the flaming body and from somewhere, she produced long sticks with marshmallows at the ends. "Who wants s'mores!"
"Ugh…I can't believe this." Knarl groaned. Whether he was talking about Kabuto's death or Kairi's odd behavior regarding his death, that remains to be seen as well.
"That was a bit harsh." Haku said as he stepped up to Naruto.
Naruto himself growled. "No. You didn't see what he was actually like."
Haku stared at the blond. He knew that the Penance Stare technique was a double edged sword seeing as how the user was able to glimpse at what the other people was seeing. Haku just sighed before patting Naruto's shoulder. "Fine then. I just hope that was worth it. Me on the other hand, I do not feel like killing my opponent."
"To each his own." Kurotsuchi said before step up to Naruto. "You and me are going to search the place while Haku and my father fight. I am sure none of the drunk idiots in the crowd will care that much that we are gone."
" I agreed."
"Feh, do what you want, but when your friends are dead, we are coming for you!" Knarl grumbled.
"I want to play next!" Kairi shouted while waving her hands.
"Yeah, good luck with that Haku." Naruto stated as he and Kurotsuchi left to quickly free the none insane members of old Oto.
"Fine, you against the girlie looking one." Knarl stated. He was getting irritated that he wasn't the one fighting, but there was something telling he knew the older Iwa ninja and it was also telling him to wait. That was fine with him, he needed to figure this out.
"OOOHHH! A pretty boy! A freaking national treasure!" Kairi exploded in happiness, making Haku sigh in annoyance. "Ok mister pretty boy, if you win, I will join your little group."
"Ok." Haku replied while in the back of his mind, he wondered how she would fare in Iwa.
"Yay! Bananas in pajama are walking down the street" Kairi shouted in glee as she rushed the Ice User, her fingers glowing a sickly green. "Bananas in pajamas are coming down the stairs!" She sang as she took a furry of swipes at him.
Haku could not figure out her style of fighting at all. It was like she was truly insane and all she did in a fight was sing and do whatever the hell she wanted.
He wasn't far from the truth. Kairi's style of fighting usually put others off with her crazy attitude and very flexible body. Her mind usually treated further to her happy place during a fight, making her sing odd songs while her body acted with a mind of its own, not caring at all if it hurt itself.
Haku dodged another swipe as Kairi struck again and then did the splits to get in further but Haku easily backpedaled to get away from her. However, he wasn't counting on her to suddenly jump onto her head and brutally kick him. "Ooooh." Haku groaned, think that he better finish this quickly. He honestly didn't like to fight this girl. Her style of fighting was way too unpredictable for him.
"Bananas in pajamas are coming at you in pairs. Bananas in pajamas are coming to rape you!" Cackled Kairi in glee.
"Ok, that is enough of you and your bananas!" Haku raged. "Swift and Ice Style: Flash Freeze!" He then rushed the girl, spinning around as large amounts of Ice formed all around her and trapping her in place. When he was done, all that was actually from the ice was her head.
"S-s-s-so C-cold!" Kairi said in a shiver tone. "Why so cold! Cold…Ice….SNOW! FROSTY THE GREEN SNOWMAN!" That made everyone pause while Knarl tried his best not to struggle the girl.
"You can get out there with you nails, you know that right?" Knarl asked.
"Why? I lost? Besides, don't want to know why Frosty is green?"
"Um…sure?" Haku asked, a bit unsure he actually wanted to know.
"NO! Don't encourage her boy!" Knarl cried out.
"Oh Fooly Cooly…you are no fun Knarl!" The trapped girl said. "Anyway, he is green because I bled all over him! Now he is scared for life and we will always be friends because of that."
"Is she kidding?" Haku asked Knarl.
"I told you not to encourage her." Knarl growled before sighing. "I have no clue though. Most of what she goes on about is in her mind I would assume. Still you won and she doesn't seem to care….like usual. I guess it is me against that man then."
"Yup." Haku said as he walked off the arena floor while having the ice around Kairi melt. With her freedom back, Kairi walked right to Haku and started to talk with him, mostly about more none sense which made Haku sweat drop and groan about Naruto not being there to help him.
Kitsuchi, however, ignored Haku's predicament. He walked onto the arena thoughtfully. Like Knarl, he thought he knew the other man. Finally, after so long, it clicked. "It has been a lot time Knarl. I thought I would never see you again after the plague took most of your clan and then the rest of you either killed each other off or ran from the village."
"I knew you looked familiar." Knarl chuckled. "It has been a while my old teammate. How's your wife?"
"Dead…" Kitsuchi said sadly, looking a lot older.
"Hmph." Knarl commented. "It seems you have a knack for having girlfriends that die on you. First my sister, who was the first to die from the plague and then our teammate, during the last war."
"Yes, I do have bad luck on that front, but I won't let my daughter die like she did…even if it is ironic that her boyfriend is the son of the Fourth Hokage."
Knarl blinked owlishly at his onetime friend and teammate before he burst into laughter. "That is hilarious!"
"Hmph." Kitsuchi grunted. "Back on track…you have been here the whole time?"
"Yeah. I left after my sister died, so I didn't bother with the rest of the family destroying each other." Knarl replied. "Best thing I ever did….that is until I contracted an illness of my own that almost killed me. Orochimaru took me after that and cured me, but like some many others, he tortured me too with his experiments. Now he is dead and I rule Oto!"
"You lost it." Kitsuchi deadpanned, knowing the real Knarl from when they were kids and this was barely him.
Knarl shrugged. "Probably, now let's fight already!"
"Fine." Kitsuchi replied as stone began to encase fist before the two charge at one another, fists raise to beat each other senseless.
XXX
"So, how do you think they are doing?" Naruto asked casually as he and Kurotsuchi strolled down the broken hallways of the old Oto base. It was bad. The walls were moldy, decaying, and just utterly broken. It seemed that without Orochimaru to put the fear of god in them and make them keep the place tidy, they just all let the place go.
"Oh I am sure Haku did fine despite having to fight that crazy chick." Kurotsuchi said with shrug. "Now my father on the other hand. I have the all the confidence in that world that he will win?"
"Why do you say that?" Naruto asked curiously.
Kurotsuchi gave a sly smirk and said, "Before my mom, he used to dad a Herculean Release user and she was pretty forth coming on how their style of fighting worked. She only did it because they were in love….but she died."
"That…really sucks for him." Naruto groaned.
"True, but that just lead to him meeting my mother and then they made me." Kurotsuchi replied before leaning over and kissing her blond boyfriend. She leaned up to his ear and asked, "Question is, what will we make?"
"That is a good question." Naruto replied in a husky voice as he smashed his lips to hers.
Kurotsuchi eagerly returned the kiss as she brought them over to a wall as they made out. However, they were here for a reason and they probably didn't have much time, especially after the ground shook a bit. "I would love to continue this, but we need to hurry this mission along."
"Right?" Naruto replied sheepishly. "So any where we should look first?"
"How about in here you fucking retards!" an angry female's voice rang out to them from across the hallway. "If you dumbasses did your job instead of sticking each other's tongues down your throats, then maybe you would have found me!"
"And who are you?" Naruto asked with his eyebrow twitching in annoyance.
"Me? I am fucking Tayuya Uzumaki!" the girl said as she came into the light to reveal a red head with a bad attitude.
"Wait what?!" Naruto shouted
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Ok all, sorry for the long update, but I didn't get this done til last night, I just didn't have the internet at home to post it….just my luck. Anyway, I thought this would be a good place to stop. And yes, I did make Tayuya an Uzumaki. Why not?
Next chapter should deal with Kitsuchi's battle with Knarl, the remnants of Oto joining up with Iwa along with the remnants of Konoha. After that, I am either going to go with the remnants of the Akatsuki rejoining the fray to get Naruto….or set up an interesting Arc dealing will filler enemies….tournament style.
Yes, Kairi wil be joining our little group and maybe be with Haku as well.