CHAPTER 3. Desolation

Is it dark, where you are?

Can you count the stars where you are?

Do you feel like you are a thousand miles from home?

Are you lost, where you are?

Can you find your way when you're so far?

Do you fear, where you are?

A thousand nights alone

Tauriels' eyes became focused as soon as she awoke. She wasn't asleep anymore but still laying on her side without moving. She turned on the back with a hard sigh and hid the face in her palms. It was only yesterday Legolas left to Rivendell but she already missed him. Tauriel felt the loss of his presence; she wished he could hold her as usual. For all of these years she has got used to fall asleep and wake up with his strong arms put around her. And now laying here in the bed that was too big for one she felt very lonely. The only thing she had left was memories.

She remembered the showdown Legolas had with his father when he found out the king's do-not-give-him-hope plan, which failed the moment Legolas overheard about it and the whole thing didn't make sense any more. There was nobody in the castle who didn't hear their scandal. After all, Thranduil "allowed his son to plunge himself to a lowly silvan elf." Tauriel smiled slightly coming back to this recollection.

She remembered their wedding – the best she could ever imagine. Legolas couldn't believe she was wearing a dress and said that she should have worn it every day. Their first night together. Every touch, every kiss. She remembered every single year of their joint life.

Memories were stirred one by one. She remembered yesterday night – memories about the last night they have spent together before he left were the brightest. She could almost feel him tracing a finger along her collarbone protruding part. Remembered he told her he would come back soon.

But he didn't. Didn't come back. Didn't keep his promise. Risked his life.

"Tell her I love her, I will return," that what Legolas had told one of the elves he went to Rivendell with.

After some time Tauriel noticed something strange. She felt herself strange.

Though, very soon the reason of her worries came out. She was pregnant. "That's impossible," she said placing a hand bellow her stomach when she figured it out. However, it wasn't. Tauriel knew that it was the most reckless thing to do now but she couldn't change anything.

People I know that elves have children when both of the parents want to. But we will be back to this later. If you are interested you can read more here: wiki/Elf_(Middle-earth)

"You are leaving Mirkwood," Thranduil said when Tauriel came, "leaving to the Undying Lands."

"What? Why? I will not leave!"

"Oh, don't be stubborn, you know what is going on. If we're losing this fight there will be a very few who survive. It is not safe here."

"But Legolas…" "Don't worry about him, he can defend himself. Thing of a child you're caring. It is the best for you to leave."

She put her hand on a little tummy that has just begun to swell. He was right, absolutely. Her baby was the most important thing now and must been saved whatever it takes.

Do remember Tauriel's face in the movie when Thranduil said "do not give him hope"? So now she had the same face.

"I-I will leave… If Legolas…" she corrected herself, "when Legolas will be back…, just don't tell him about the baby. This supposed to be a surprise."

Tauriel felt how her little perfect world was crumbling into pieces. Just few months ago, she had everything she could ever wish, and now it was destroyed. Legolas shouldn't have been away but here, with her. She was afraid to think about what might happen tomorrow. Tauriel clearly realized that Legolas may not come back.

All she could do is lay snugged on the bed shivering from the soundless sobs.

She calmed down a little when she felt that couldn't do it anymore. Tauriel wiped the tears and stroked her stomach. She must be strong now, stronger than ever to live through this.

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