She knows just how close he was to kissing her that night.

She knows he stopped himself, not because of the people in the room, but because he thought she would reject him. She could never do that. They're too close. She loves him too much.

She knows he knows she's hiding something. He finds her sometimes sitting on her own. He doesn't press when she says she can't talk about it. He knows she'll tell him when the time is right. He holds her until she stops crying.

She wants to tell him everything.

She knows those moments break his heart.

But he'll never say.

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He knows she wants to hold his hand sometimes.

He knows she won't, not because of the people in the room, but because she thinks he'll reject her. He could never do that. They're too close. He loves her too much.

Sometimes he finds her with puffy red eyes. She never wants to talk about it. She says she can't. That the time is never right just yet. So he holds her until she feels better.

He knows she'll tell him when she can.

He knows how in those moments, she just wants to be wanted.

But she'll never say.

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Over the years, she's become a light sleeper.

She knows about those nights when he stays over. When he crawls in and lays down and pulls the duvet away from her face and looks at her. She never stirs. Never opens her eyes. Never nuzzles into his hand when he caresses her cheek, no matter how badly she wants to.

She knows that he whispers "I love you" just before he goes back to the guest room. (His room, she calls it.)

She never opens her eyes until she hears the door shut.

She's not sure exactly what he's doing.

But she knows he's doing it.

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Over the years, he's become a master of observation.

He knows about those days when she stays over. When she thinks he's gone, so she crawls in and nuzzles the pillow and inhales his scent and hugs it tight. He never says anything. Never whispers "I love you too". Never goes in and lets her wrap her arms around him instead, no matter how badly he wants to.

He knows she sometimes calls out his name in the middle of the night.

He can hear her unsteady breathing through the shut door.

He's not sure of the reason. He's not really sure what he hopes is the reason.

But he knows she does it.