The car swung into the turn we were originally meant to take earlier and the seatbelt's arm held onto me protectively. I was immediately grateful that he'd put mine on …after I refused to. The aim of the game is to infuriate him after all. Right before Tasha's call we were almost getting on, it was almost like the ghost of another time when I could talk to him about anything but now he was overreacting and it was pissing me off.

"If you made a turn like that earlier I can assure you that this is like fast and the furious." I tell him as gravity pushes me back into my seat, my head bumping against the back. "Paul Walker would definitely kick your ass though."

I cling to my seat as the world in and out of the car turns askew, I blink a couple of times trying to clear the dizziness. Without anything in my stomach to soak the alcohol up it was running maniac around my system and sitting still was making it worse.

"Do you know who Paul Walker is? Or is twenty first century pop culture beyond you?" He ignores me. "I guess so."

Dimitri was concentrating so hard on the road I'm surprised the windshield didn't melt. Everything about him was rigid, his jaw, his arms and I wondered what would make him snap, properly snap not just splinter like when he swore. The thought was met by thrill and fear, like the moment you face your opponent and it's a decision between now or never. Silky strands of his dark hair were swept out along his face, over his cheekbone. My fingers itched to reach out and stroke them back.

They also wanted to slap him… how bi-polar; maybe I could blame that on spirit. I sigh and turn back to the window, everything was a dark blur.

"How ironic would it be if you get us killed just as we're nearly there? Well it wouldn't be the first time I died in a car crash."

He doesn't say a word but the needle over our speed inches back, unlike his temper which I can feel rising.

"Oh don't slow down on my account, I know your dying to get rid of me. Although if we did crash Lissa would be mighty pissed but on the brightside you'd probably get to be her guardian, as long as she didn't hold any ill feelings, which she probably won't. You two have this weird bond without side effects."

I had word vomit, that's the only way to put it. I was just spewing out acid tinged words that didn't make any sense, or rather, they weren't called for. The problem was I didn't care.

"Hey at my funeral you should probably play that, Mr. Brightside. Do you know that song? I've been coming out of my cage and I've been doing just fine-"

My purse started vibrating on my lap; cutting off my solo which I knew would have finally provoked him. I can't sing for shit. I fish it out and it tumbles over my fingers and lands on my lap. Ridiculous heat rushes to my cheeks and I glance at Dimitri but he'd pretending I don't exist. I need to kick this up a gear. My phone vibrates again and I grin when the caller ID flashes who's demanding my attention.

I am a sexy, mysterious and alluring woman….I hope my voice remembers that as I flip the phone open. "Hello Anton."

Anton Vetrov was one of the guardians stationed at the college, not assigned to a particular Moroi but to ensuring the security of the ward boundaries and to campus life. He and I got on well, bantering on our breaks or holding pool tournaments in the guardian staffroom. There was also some light-hearted flirting that was never taking seriously, well not by me anyway. I knew he was interested and being with Adrian didn't put him off like it would anyone with a decent moral compass or common sense. My mother had also informed me that he and Dimitri weren't on good terms, the details were vague but all is fair in love and war.

"Interesting text message Hathaway, have you some issues with literacy?"

"It was a code, congrats you cracked it."

He laughs and I hear other voices in the background, "So tell me, why are you texting me on date night?"

"Date nights over, I'm bored. What are you doing?"

"The course of young love never runs smooth." He says cheerily. I bristle prepared to chew him out If he says something about Adrian, it wouldn't be the first time he felt his comments were valid. But thankfully Anton moves on. "I'm not doing anything terribly exciting. My shift just ended and Castile's kicking my ass at pool."

"You're so predictable. You deserve to have Eddie handing it to you. I'll put money on him."

"Respect your elders Shorty!" He says in a mock wounded voice and I grin. "And If I'm so predictable why don't you show me how to step outside the lines?"

I make my voice lower, "I'm not sure you could handle it."

"I'm sure I could keep up." He says, matching my tone. I was at a loss or what to say next, it was a tricky tightrope I was walking. I needed this to be brushed off as our normal banter in Anton's eyes. Whoops and cheers penetrate the silence and Anton joins in. "Sorry to be the one to tell you Rose, well actually I'm delighted to be the one to tell you as it eases the sting, but Eddie just annihilated your top score. He's potted every ball in eight moves."

Eight?! I'd held the record at ten and even that was a flukey miracle. I squash down the competitive hunger that demands I go and challenge Eddie to a game. That could wait.

"Damn." I peek across the car. "You know how much I like being on top." Dimitri's knuckles bleach white against the wheel. His expressions carved from ice and I'm sure we were close to a fracture.

I'm holding my breath but Anton breaks the silence. "Well maybe you should get over here and claim your spot back."

"I'll show you moves you haven't seen before." Dimitri yanks the gear shift back and inhales sharply. "I'll be right over as soon as Guardian Belikov drops me home."

"Belikov?" Anton repeats, sobering out of flirt mode. "Why are you with him?"

"He's just giving me a ride back to campus before I get into trouble." I reply airily..

"I can't work that one out." He muses, completely missing my suggestive tone. "All this time he's been blanking you and then twice in one week he's been all about coming to your rescue, is that a protective mentor thing?"

"What are you talking about?" I ask completely dropping the poly coy.

"He almost made Anderson crap his pants after that Strigoi attack." Anderson was supposed to be the guardian on perimeter duty with me whilst Lissa was in a royal gathering on campus. He was late to the point we'd agreed to meet at which incidentally had the nomad waiting for me instead. "Belikov marched over and demanded to know why he wasn't doing his job and that if he ever slipped up again he'd be sorry. As If the guy didn't feel bad enough, he didn't need Belikov laying it on him too. Although it could have been more about our numbers, he gets really uptight about the whole strigoi thing doesn't he?"

Dimitri had confronted Anderson, how didn't I know about this and more importantly why? The nomad had been a surprise but nothing I couldn't handle…sure my wrist got busted but that was part of the risk that comes with my job. It was also down to crappy terrain. Fallen branches actually take more credit than the strigoi does….but that doesn't sound just as badass.

"Rose?"

"Huh?" I snap out of staring at the dashboard.

"How long do you reckon you'll be? You can win your crown back and we could think of more unpredictable things to do."

"Er, yeah no problem I'll ring you when I'm back, we're nearly at the checkpoint now."

"See you soon Shorty."

"Bye Anton." I put my phone away and look across the car at Dimitri.

Why had he reacted that way and to Anderson especially who's a pretty decent guy and who's apologised to me countless times. One of the worst things we can experience as guardians is failing in our duty. Moroi come first but we have an intense loyalty to each other, an unspoken respect for what we dedicate our lives to and with our race in danger it's almost as important to look out or each other as is to look after our moroi. It was so obvious how guilty Anderson felt that no one was giving him a hard time over it, not even me who had every right to, so why the hell was Dimitri?

Was Anton right about it being due our race and its dwindling numbers? That Dimitri felt greater anxiety over it because he's had first-hand experience of what happens to us when Strigoi get too close. Awakening, I used to think, was worse than death but now with a remedy I can't really say.

Death is an end, in most cases, but awakening is the start of death. As a strigoi Dimitri was formidable and had killed many but I also know he was not himself... does he know that? I don't think so; it's easier to recognise death's mark on others when you carry it yourself.

Dimitri's eyes briefly cut to meet mine and it's like I've been busted but for what I couldn't say. "What? Why are you staring at me?"

"I wasn't." I say looking determinedly ahead at the checkpoint where two guardian's stand by the gate, more would be patrolling the perimeter nearby.

"Yes, you were." His tone's restrained as he slows the car.

"So insecure, Comrade." He sighs irritably and I smirk. "You could swear at me again if it would make you feel better."

He shoots me a dark look before finally stopping and rolls down the window or the approaching guardian. He flashes his ID, explains who I am and what we're doing and then we're waved ahead.

"You are a terrible drunk." He suddenly says after a couple of minutes.

The smugness I'd felt falls through to a fiery pit. "I am a fabulous drunk, your terrible company." He shakes his head, the patronizing bastard. "Do not sit there and judge me, I might be drunk but what's your excuse?"

"What are you talking about now?"

"You know what I'm talking about but If you'd rather sit there feeling superior go on ahead."

"How-" He began and it seemed like words failed him. Frustration does that, anger doesn't, anger supplies you fully and he needed to get angry. He took another deep breath, damn it. "In no way am I trying to belittle you but I am stating the obvious. You were in a terrible mood and drinking has amplified it and you're making bad decisions."

"I was in a great mood and then you showed up and bad decisions make good stories. You'll probably hear some tomorrow." He muttered in Russian in response. "You could at least answer me in English or rather, insult me in it."

"There isn't a translation for how you're acting right now." He says between his teeth.

"How convenient for you." He makes a sharp right and now we're on the outskirts of college accommodation, mine and Lissa's town house was close. "I've got a list you can choose from, brat, idiot, bitch, asshole, delinquent, childish, slut-"

"Stop it." He growls.

"Tease, reckless, insubordinate-"

"Enough! Stop it right now Rose."

"What? You don't like any of those? I have more."

"No, just stop talking."

"I thought you'd want to make the most of our time together seeing it will probably be our last conversation."

"So this is about us then? You're trying to provoke me because of how it's been between us?"

I freeze, rage icing over. "I, uh, No."

He goes on and I wished he wouldn't, wished id kept my mouth shut. "You're angry with me and we need to talk about it."

"Don't flatter yourself. I'm angry with a lot of things right now, not just you."

"Well the issue with me is the one thing I can sort out." Tasha's car jerks to a stop and I look out at the dark house. God was he actually confronting what we'd been dancing around all night, like a bloody grown up. No I did not want to have this conversation. I did not want to be sat down and told I needed to get over it, how humiliating.

"Well I'll see if I can pencil you in for that sometime but right now have somewhere to be, someone to meet, trouble to cause yadda yadda yadda. Thanks for the ride." I pull the door handle but his hand shoots out and pulls it shut again.

I turn to glare but get completely disarmed by how close he is as he leans across the short space. His dark eyes search my face and my breath gets caught in my throat. "I'm not letting you run away Rose."

"But it worked out so well for you."

I instantly regret it as he closes his eyes and leans back. "I haven't been fair. I know. The longer it went on the harder it was to do something about it. I convinced myself it wouldn't matter even If I did because you seemed so remote and fine with how things were. You were so professional I thought maybe you'd dealt with it, or maybe I wanted to believe you had. I wanted to think it didn't matter anymore."

"Aside from it being humiliating to have everyone wonder why you treated me like pariah."

"I thought you hadn't taken much notice of that either. I try not to."

"It bothers you?" I ask surprised.

"Of course it does and the explanation I give didn't seem to satisfy anyone, not even Tasha."

"What explanation?"

"That it was my fault and that's wouldn't object to Lissa's decision to reject me as her guardian." He says simply staring out at the street. He turns to me "And I had nothing but out most respect for you."

"Well I can see why nobody bought that." I say not meeting his gaze. "There's no evidence of it."

"But it's the truth and I'm sorry."

That was it? He was just sorry. He was just sorry how everyone gossiped over us…that's it? What about the rest? What about how he made me feel? What about the explanation I was owed to why I it was so easy to leave me behind? What did I do wrong? Or what about a fucking thank you? Is it any wonder that explanation didn't satisfy anyone when it didn't even satisfy me?

Disappointment threatened to drown me.

"Okay." I say, my voice sounds hollow.

"Okay?" he echoes and I muster up the strength to face him. His expression is slightly confused like whatever he was expecting, it wasn't that. Maybe it was because I was so accepting… but maybe I just needed to let it go. I mean maybe he had already answered all the other questions for me. He didn't love me anymore.

He didn't love me.

"Thanks for the ride. Sorry for being a brat." I get out of the car. The chilled air wraps around me and reinforces how lightheaded and dizzy I was. I hold onto the side of the car to steady myself, pretty sure I could kick off my heels here. I mean I was just outside the house. The sound of another car door opening makes me curse and I force myself to take a couple of steps away.

"Why aren't you leaving?" I demand beyond exasperated. Dimitri walks around the car and I stumble back another few steps.

"Are you okay?" He asks looking me over, one hand held out as If to catch me if I suddenly collapse.

"Fine, now go away."

"No you're not, your shaking for Christ sake."

"Will you cut it out with the swearing? It's freaking me out."

He comes toward me again and I step off the curb so the cars angled between us.

He pauses on the sidewalk. "What are you doing?"

"I'm fine so will you just leave already. There it is, there is my house, where you promised Lissa you'd leave me so now go away."

"Are you going to stand in front of the car as I attempt to do that? Your being ridiculous Rose."

"Yes we've covered that. I am completely ridiculous and selfish and idiotic and bitchy and bratty but I'm home now so it's not your problem."

"I am not leaving until I know your safe and inside the house." He says and the street tilts a little. He darts around the car and takes a hold of my arm, centring me to the ground. "And do you really think that's how I think of you because it's not, it's not even how you are."

"You don't think I'm selfish?" I ask stupidly trying to clear my fuzzy head.

"No."

"But bitchy, idiotic and bratty?"

"No and what I meant was I don't see you as a problem."

God, what did I have to do? Hopefully the answer presented itself when I stopped feeling like I was gonna hurl.

"Have you eaten today?" Dimitri demands letting go of my arm and putting his arm securely around my waist.

"It's just the heels." I retort trying to push him away, him and his stupid good smell that makes me want to press up against his chest.

"You are a terrible drunk. The first rule, eat first." He pulls us onto the sidewalk and toward the house.

"Do you ever get sick of hearing yourself being a know it all?" We're passing the street light just outside the house and I wrap my free arm around it, causing me to stumble more than Dimitri.

"Rose." He exhales.

"Nooo, tell me. Do you ever get sick of being a know it all?"

"Do you ever get sick of being a pain in the ass?" He tries to tug me away but I have a good grip.

"You said I wasn't any of those things, liar."

"Pain in the ass wasn't on the list, now let go of the lamp post before I throw you over my shoulder again."

"I will punch you this time." But just encase I hook my leg around it to.

"Rose we're on campus, knock it off." He says looking around the street.

"Just admit you're a know it all or someone's going to think I'm a very confused pole dancer."

He gives me that look, the one between exasperation and frustration and I raise an eyebrow. He sighs again and shrugs. "I'm a know it all."

I start giggling and my grasp slips and I know I'm going to be on my ass this time. He catches me under my arms and pulls me up. "Terrible drunk."

"I could still punch you."

"Do that after I make you something to eat with a large glass of water, or three."

"You'd be crap under torture just giving up like that, awk jesus more steps?" I couldn't navigate that one back at diner how the hell was I getting up six to the front door.

"You've handled worse. I have faith in you Hathaway." He says as he basically does most of the work to get me up them.

"You do not get to joke with me, rights revoked, and don't you have somewhere to be? A car to return? A birthday girl to entertain?"

"Keys." He says holding out his hand, all humour banished.

"I can open my door."

I could open my door…after three attempts, typical that all the drink was hitting me now and not an hour ago. The door gives way and I stagger through it. Okay maybe it hitting me now was a good thing. "Told you."

Dimitri's watching me from the doorway and I get the feeling he's trying not to laugh. "I see that."

"So now you can go. I am in my house, I will get some food, change and everything will be fine."

He's through the door before I can slam it. "Forgive me if I don't have faith in you to do that."

"Where the hell are your manners?"

He actually manages a small smile. Why the hell was he smiling at me, he wants me to punch him. "Seriously, you can go home now."

"It won't take that long and I'll have a clear conscious." He says breezily, moving past me to get to the kitchen.

"You're an unwanted houseguest!" I yell down the hall.

"I'm sure Lissa won't mind."

I let my head all back and stare at the ceiling, begging the higher forces to stop punishing me. All I wanted was to piss him off and here is making me food, in my house, invading my space, it was maddening! Well I wasn't giving up, I had months of bottled up aggression and bitchyness brewing away… and I'd make this the outlet so I could let it go. Tomorrow I'd wake up cleansed and ready to be the professional everyone thought I was. I just had to make him snap first.

First thing was first. I kick off the stilettos and adjust my dress, assessing my appearance in the hallway mirror. Legs awesome, butt okay, chest great, hair needs fluffed up a bit, check, no smudges under my eyes, okay. I totally rocked this colour, all good to go. Now my feet weren't screaming at me it was easy to get the walking/swaying of hips ratio right.

Dimitri's cracking eggs into a mixing bowl and looks up as I enter. His sleeves were rolled up his forearms and I had to admit it was a pretty sexy. He looks at me for a beat too long to be innocent, not when his gaze drops over me before he goes back to his task. "Omelette okay?"

"Yup. Quick and easy, just what I need." I say padding forward and hopping up to perch on the counter.

"Starting to feel drowsy?"

"Nope, just have places to be. You heard."

He stops whisking. "Right." He drops the bowl and starts grating cheese onto a plate.

"And so do you. Will Tasha mind you cooking or someone else on her birthday?" I say crossing my legs.

"Why would she mind?"

"Seems a bit shady is all. You said you weren't going to be long and yet here you are cooking for me"

"Well I'm not going to be much longer, like you said, quick and easy." Either I was imaging it are he was being aggressive with that grater.

"Drink this." He says handing me a pint of iced water that had been sitting on the opposite counter.

"Yes sir." I take a sip and once the icy liquid coats my tongue I realise how parched I am.

Amusement colours his face. "You can definitely drink anyway."

"You should see how I am on that rocket fuel you easterners call vodka." He smiles a little and I catch myself before I can do it back. I look down at my glass. "Tasha went with you right? Back to Baia."

He finishes grating and moves onto chopping tomatoes. "Yes."

"How was it?" I ask gently, side-tracked by my genuine interest. When I'd been in Russia I'd stayed with his family, we'd grown pretty close except or his crazy grandmother. I'd been treated like a widow at their own kind of funeral for him back when he had been awakened.

He stops chopping and looks up at me, expression soft and if I didn't have too much bitchy resolve it would make me melt a little. "Good, really good. They didn't believe I'd been restored, how could they? But once they saw me…" he trails off, eyes far away and small smile on his lips. I can't help but be happy for him because no matter what everyone deserves to have their family. He deserved that happiness. His eyes flick back to mine and he grins almost sheepishly. "Of course there was a big party; my mother wouldn't have it any other way. The whole town turned out."

"All twenty of them?" I grin and he laughs. It takes me by surprise, the sound of his laughter. I'd forgotten how rich it was.

He pours the egg mix into the pan that's been warming on the stove. It would almost be easy to pretend this scene belonged in a different context, that we were just a couple doing a simple thing such as having dinner together.

No such luxuries though.

"You okay?" He asks and I start.

"Fine." I say too sharply. "Stop asking,"

He looks like he wants to say more but instead he takes my empty glass and refills it. "I was actually supposed to pass a message on. Viktoria says thank you, and that she's sorry." I take the glass from him and he tilts his head curiously, obviously showing he had no idea what the message concerned. The last time I'd seen his sister she's yelled at me for coming between her and a douche. It seems with some hindsight she's seen I was trying to help.

"Tell her don't worry about it."

"Okay." He says simply, not inquiring further. "Whatever it was you helped her with though, I'm grateful too." His gaze holds mine and there's such sweetness in the chocolate depths, such earnest gratitude that I feel my resolve threatens to crumble away, just like the rest of the room had. I could only see him. My eyes slid down to his lips. Lips that had only passed me advice, orders or suggestions over the past few months…but I could remember when they had delivered sighs over my skin, brushed murmurs over my ear, murmurs that usually consisted of one thing…

Roza.

He clears his throat and it's like a gunshot in the room. He steps away back to the stove and I refrain from slapping myself. Stupid, stupid, stupid girl. Stop this. I glare at the magnets on the fridge, stupid souvenir ones Lissa and I had collected, mixed in with photographs of us and one of her and Christian… somehow that one made me feel even worse.

"Here" he says and I swallow the golf ball in my throat before turning back to him. He tilts the omelette onto the plate and holds it out to me. I take it and instead of getting off the counter to retrieve cutlery I lie back on it and reach down to one of the drawers built into the island. When I sit back up Dimitri's busied himself with putting the used utensils into the dishwasher, back to me.

My dress has rode up a bit. Oh well.

I stab the eggs with my fork and take a huge bite, supressing the urge to moan. It tasted just as good a cheeseburger would have.

"Sonya had her baby." Dimitri says, cracking the tense silence that had filtered in through the vents.

"That's great. Pass on congratulations from me"

"I will. She was worried about not being to go back to work but Tasha helped her set up this day care programme, it's really quite amazing."

"Sure it is. Tasha's a smart lady." I stab at the eggs again, the metal scraping nosily at the plate.

"She's got another three moroi interested in learning self-defence with magic."

"Super duper, you've got yourself a keeper."

He spins around and I pause mid-chew. "You keep suggesting things like that."

I shrug and continue chewing. "Just saying it how it is. She's great for you, your family love her, and you'll see her often because you're assigned to her family. It all worked out for you Comrade, congrats."

His expression smooth's over, locking me out. "You've gotten the wrong end of the stick Rose. "

"You're not a lucky guy? That's not nice. Even If you don't feel you are you should always say so."

"That's not what I meant and you know it." He sounds more irritated than he has all night. Huh, commenting on his relationship must be the key, I should have known that. "She's one of my good friends."

The food and water were doing wonders in sobering me up. Everything was becoming more acute. I suspect my kick ass hybrid blood had something to do with it too. I concentrate on scooping up the last of my meal and hop off the island. "We both know that she doesn't see you as 'just a friend, don't be an idiot comrade. "

I dump my dish into the sink and look up to find him watching me, jaw tense. What was he thinking?

"I'm not doing this." He finally says, pulling his sleeves back down over his tan forearms.

"You got to poke into my love life."

"Because I thought I was helping!" He fires back, throwing down the dish cloth he's been using to wipe down the counter.

"I am helping! I'm helping you not to be an idiot. Your jobs great so shack up with Tasha and everything is perfect."

He shakes his head slightly, repulsed by my words… or me. "I don't know what you're trying to do but it's callous and I'm not having any part in it." He shoulders past me and I follow him out to the hall.

"Oh I'm callous! All I'm trying to do is be a friend! Maybe you don't realise that because you don't have a lot of those or maybe you've just forgotten how I can be."

He whirls around "Are we back to this again!? Rose I've apologised. I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me because it would make working together a hell of lot easier but if you can't then I understand."

I stare at him for a moment. "For a smart guy you really are an idiot and that makes it hurt just that little bit more."

"What? What is that supposed to mean?"

"You can leave now. I'm fed and watered, your jobs done but now I have to get going, I have someone waiting on me."

His dark eyes flash. "Anton Vetrov? And you have the nerve to call me an idiot?"

"Keep out of my love life." I say sweetly and stalk into the living room.

"Love life?!" He half-shouts following me. "You told me not an hour ago you loved Adrian, who I think you should at least tell your home and not lying in a ditch somewhere."

"No it's usually Adrian lying in the ditch or on the floor, under the dining room table or I get a call from some pissed off Texas gamblers who tell me they're going throw him off a bridge."

"So you're giving him a taste of his own medicine? That borders on being a hypocrite and maybe a little childish."

"Yeah well, the all high and mighty position has already been filled out by someone."

"You think I have it easy?" He demands, outrage blossoming his tone. "You have no idea what these past few months have meant for me."

"WELL WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?"

He makes a frustrated grown and pinches the bridge of his nose. The self-control was well and truly splintering now but I didn't care. I'd rather he just left. He takes a deep breath and looks back up at me, clearly trying to make the effort. It was in vain though. "We're going around in circles. I am sorry Rose, I am, and I things are going to change between us you need to meet me half way if we're going to be friends."

Friends? I almost wanted to laugh.

"You don't seem to like it too much when I give you some friendly advice so I'm not sure it's going to work."

"Try keeping it to yourself then."

"Same goes to you."

"You told me you love him! It's different, and you're going to what? Go mess around with Vetrov and ruin everything?" He challenges, holding up his hands in bewilderment like it's the most ridiculous and vile thing he's ever heard.

I take a deep breath and fold my arms. "I said I loved him, I didn't say I was in love with him."

"Well you could at least tell him that." He says simply, his gaze hard.

My eyes narrow. "I will. And you should stop leading Tasha on."

"Don't." he says sharply. "Talk about things you don't understand."

"I understand that Lissa and Christian think something's going on. I understand that so do most of our colleagues. Are you saying Tasha doesn't hope there is? A lot of blurred lines here Comrade."

"I thought you were smarter than to go of hearsay and rumours, you of all people know how wrong they are."

I press my lips together and try and make my voice steady. "I saw you together. I saw you kiss her."

Hey guys! So sorry this one's taken a while but I found it a nightmare to write. I had the beginning and the climax worked out but now how to lead it there so I really hope this chapter is passable, I'm not too happy with it.

Let me know what you're thinking, I can't stress enough how much I enjoy and appreciate the reviews!