A/N- Feeling depressed, this just kind of started flowing out. It's short and really structured. I don't know if I like it or not yet, but at least I posted something, or something like that. I really need to edit crap and get it up here, but I just don't have the effort, especially tonight, after lying in my bed for two hours with a phone that never rings… literally. You'll have to forgive me if I do my disappear routine for a little longer, I just don't have the will to write a bunch of garbage anymore. But I'll stop moping now and what not.

Forte

I have absolutely no one I can rely on in my life. There aren't too many people who can say that, but I'm one of those special few with that luxury. Even that little retard's brother has someone, when he gets his head out of his ass long enough to ask for help; which, as far as I can tell, isn't often.

I'll never have someone I can rely on; someone who gives a damn about me. Not that it bothers me. I'm a pretty tough guy, and I don't let that shit get to me. Honestly, I don't even know what those emotions feel like- love, friendship… family. It's not like I'm yearning for something I once had, because it was never there. So I really don't care. Instead, I focus on my goals. They're all I have in life.

Sometimes I wonder what I'll do after my goals are met; then I remind myself not to think about it. It usually works, but sometimes when those rusty wheels I never use in my head start turning… Would I have regrets? Would I be kept around? Would I want to be? These are only a scant few thoughts that whirl in my head; dizzying, and confusing, unbalanced thoughts. I don't like it, so I try not to think. I just do what I'm told, and it helps things run smoother.

Wily… His goals are my goals. My life is his life. He reminds me of that daily- reminds me how easy it would be to snuff that life out, if I don't help him reach his goals. Do I hate Rockman? Yes. I can't answer why, but if you don't think about it, you don't need a reason. All you need it hate; I have a lot of that. Hate's a funny thing, it's not easy to control, but it's easy to redirect to a new source when you can't take it out on the original one. I'm good at that- it's how I've survived for so long. How I've outlasted the rest.

It wasn't hard. The easiest way to survive was to avoid any emotions. I don't need them anyway. Killing is all about a lack of emotion, really. With the exception of feeling hate. I don't really even need anger to kill. It does help speed the process, though; it's also something I'm not in short supply of. Sometimes I wish things could be different.

Sometimes I wish I could be free of all that hate, maybe things would be different. But there's not much chance for that. There isn't a place in the world for a lone robot (and maybe his support unit too), people fear my kind; and there's certainly no place for me at the Light residence. So I keep roughing it alone, and trying to survive. After all… I have absolutely no one I can rely on in my life