Chapter Three: Feuds and Hallucinations

"If your eyes weren't open, you wouldn't know the difference between dreaming and waking." ~Richelle Meade

(Formation)

"Lily, we all know you like organizing and all that shit."

"Marlene!" Lily hissed as she looked around the library. She shot me a look that seemed to suggest that she was personally offended that I had cursed in her sanctuary.

"Don't even try to deny it. You live for organizing our revision schedules."

"That doesn't mean I want to help form a club. Especially if they are going to be in it."

"I don't know if you've noticed, but they're fair duelers."

"Duelists," Lily corrected.

"No difference."

"Is there a difference between can and can't?"

"Irrelevant."

"Completely relevant."

"Lily…last night you complained that you had nothing to do because you finished all your assignments. This isn't about you not having time for it."

She scrunched her face, "If I agree to help you, will you let me work on my conjuring charm essay in peace?"

"Course, as long as you help me with mine," I nodded as I took out my parchment and quill with a victorious grin on my face.

"Wipe that grin off, you basically cornered me."

"Oh really? That was never my intention."

"And I never actually agreed to help you, considering you're not leaving me to work into peace. Some examples of conjuring spells include Serpensortia-"

"See, there's another reason you should help us. Slytherins bully everyone and this club could help the rest of us defend."

She paused, "And?"

"And let's face it Lily, you live for helping people."

"That's not true."

"You're basically a Disney Princess."

"How did you know about that?"

"My grandparents are Muggles, remember?"

"Oh, that's right. Which one's your favorite?"

"Stop getting off topic Lily, it only works with people with much less superior minds…Lily. You have a valid cause to curse out James."

Her quill stopped and she looked up, "All right, since you said that."

"Brill."

"Stop smirking like that."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"You're infuriating, did you know that? It must be Potter rubbing off on you."

"Probably."

McGonagall looked at our group from beneath her spectacles.

"I must say, I'm pleasantly surprised by your initiative. What sparked this idea?"

"It was Marlene's idea," Sirius supplied, and McGonagall's eyebrows rose as she took me in. It was no surprise that she seemed shocked. I knew for a fact that last year she was aware that the only extra-curricular I was involved in included dancing on the tables of the Gryffindor common room with a bottle of strong fire-whiskey. A sense of pride bubbled within me and I found myself quite enjoying the warm sensation. Perhaps this was why Lily was constantly in the library.

I cleared my throat, "I've just been witnessing some bullying around the school and I think that a dueling club would be helpful for those students as well as older students hoping to become Aurors and just for preparation…in general." I trailed off, thinking of the Prophet's articles today. 6 Muggleborns killed in their homes with a mysteriously dubbed "dark mark" floating above their homes.

"I agree with you on that Ms. Mckinnon. I fully support this idea and will talk to the other professors about their role in supervision. I assume you will help organize this club?" Her eyes were directed upon Lily, who nodded. "Very well, make sure to put up notifications on the boards in each common room and I will let you know when the first meeting shall occur."

McGonagall smiled at me, and as we left the room, James laughed as he threw an arm around my shoulders.

"Did you see that? McGonagall smiled at you! I haven't seen that one in a while. Do you think she's forgotten when you started stripping and throwing your clothes into the fir-"

I slammed my hand over his mouth.

"Excuse my best mate, he's an arrogant, pompous git with no sensitivity," Peter supplied.

I couldn't help myself as I laughed and even Lily smiled.

"It's a quaint idea," Dorcas said tonelessly.

"Quaint?"

"Yes, quaint."

"I'll never understand you."

"Yes, that's how I like it."

"If it's so quaint, then why are you coming with me to the meeting?"

"Quaint doesn't mean bad, you do realize that."

"I will give you that."

"And I'm coming with you because I've barely spent any time with you, factor in the amusement of watching people be cursed and you see the attractiveness of the idea. Plus I've been itching to turn Lily's head into a flower."

"That's not very nice."

"Then don't ask what I'm planning to do to Macdonald. And Potter. And Lupin. And Black. And-"

"You've proved your point. You're a cold, cruel bitch who hates the world."

"There you go, I swear, your brain has started working now. Must be a recent development."

I elbowed her in her skinny ribs, and she raised an eyebrow in annoyance. We pushed through the Great Hall doors and even Dorcas let out an impressed whistle.

"Congrats Mckinnon, guess a lot of people have taken a liking to your quaint idea."

I nodded and took in the stage that sat in the middle of the Great Hall where McGonagall and Garwell were pacing. When it seemed like there was no more trickle of students that came in through the doors, Garwell began speaking.

"Hopefully we all know the rules of dueling. You will bow to your opponent, walk away, and then turn and face your opponent," He said as he and McGonagall demonstrated, "I will count to three. On three you will begin dueling. Now who would like to volunteer as our first duel? Ms. Mckinnon?" I glanced up panicked, my conversation with Mary broken short.

"Ah, the founder of this quaint club," Dorcas shot me a satisfactory smirk, "You seemed to be paying attention," My panicked eyes definitely seemed to suggest that, "Why don't you hop on up here with…" He paused and scanned the crowd for someone else who did not seem to be paying attention, "Mr. Black."

Sirius looked up in a relaxed manner.

"Yes Professor?"

"Have you been paying attention Black?"

"Not at all sir. Your voice quite honestly puts me to sleep."

"Five points from Gryffindor. Now you will get up on this stage and duel Ms. Mckinnon."

"Gladly," He said with an amused smirk as he glanced up at me.

He hopped up with his long, lithe legs and walked to the center where I stood. We raised our wands.

"Nervous, Princess?"

"No cause."

"Sure about that?"

"Absolutely, I'm already bracing myself for the laughter that comes when you land on your face."

"Don't hold back Mckinnon, please."

"Oh believe me Black, I will be holding back, just to make sure that pretty face stays intact."

We walked to the different ends of the dueling platform. I got en guard and Garwell's voice began counting.

"1…2…3…"

Sirius shot the first spell non-verbally and I defended it. Like the Black Lake incident, it was no surprise that Sirius was an offensive person whereas I was a defensive person. However, that was my strategy. Play defensive until they got comfortable enough to believe that that was all I would do. Then shoot a spell.

He shot a few simple spells off at first. A laughing spell, Levicorpus, but they got stronger as we went along, descending into difficult hexes.

The first hex I shot off was the bat-bogey hex, which surprised Black enough to hesitate while he set up his shield. This pause was enough to send Furnunculus towards him, causing his otherwise handsome face to erupt into boils. I dodged a body-bind spell that came towards me. His pride was now wounded, and he sent dozens of spells towards me with a grim face and fervor. We continued this endless cycle of non-verbal magic.

"RICTUSEMPRA!" I shouted, causing Black to laugh so hard that he collapsed on all fours. My brothers had put me under the spell so much that I was hardly ticklish any longer, but I knew for a fact that it was difficult to think of a counter spell, especially when you were in stitches and couldn't think.

"You…" He gasped between laughs, "Win…" He added with tears streaming down his face. I took the spell off and smiled.

"Shake hands," McGonagall added, although I could tell she was slightly impressed. She took off the boil curse with a wave of her wand. We walked to the center, his face still set in a glare. He extended his hand and I reached over and grabbed it. It was warm and large and practically enveloped my own.

"Nice dueling, Mckinnon."

"You don't have to keep up the niceties. I know you're just waiting to get back at me for ruining your pride."

"Nah, after all I did let you win."

"Let's not kid around here. Perhaps someone in this school happens to be a better dueler than you."

We shook for a few seconds before we broke apart and jumped down the stage to each of our friends' groups.

"Impressive," Dorcas commented absentmindedly, "Although I don't think Death Eaters will respond well to being tickled."

"Probably not, but doesn't mean it's any less useful."

"Very good Mckinnon and Black," Garwell said, "Although, Mckinnon, you were on the defensive a bit too much. And Black, you were on the offensive too much. An excellent duelist would be balanced between the two. That was a good first example, 20 points to Gryffindor."

Lily met my eyes and smiled, "Now how about…Potter and Evans."

Even McGonagall seemed to think that was a bad idea.

"How else did you think that was going to go?" I asked with my arms crossed as I looked down onto the hospital bed.

"Pleasantly?"

"How hard did that hex hit you?"

"Pretty hard considering I'm in the hospital wing?"

"Why are you saying everything like a question?"

"I honestly have no idea?"

"At least she transfigured your head back. That was funny though."

"You weren't having your head enlarged."

"I'm pretty sure it was a metaphor for your ego."

"You're a cruel friend. Shouldn't you be stroking my wounded pride right about now?"

"Tough luck, Potter. That's not in my job description. But speaking of people stroking your ego, where are the rest of the Marauders?"

"Out," He said simply, "Which is where I'll be soon."

"Pomfrey told you to stay here for at least a few more hours."

"Since when have I listened to Pomfrey?"

"I'm staying with you to make sure you don't leave."

"A Galleon you fall asleep and when you wake you'll find me missing."

"Done. It won't happen. Prepare to pay up."

"You're exhausted Marlene."

"Thanks to Quidditch, prat."

"If you try to stay awake in this state, you're in for some really weird dreams."

"I don't have weird dreams."

"Yeah, we'll see about that."

I fell asleep.

"Agrippa," I cursed as I rubbed at my eyes and discovered Potter's bed to be empty. Frankly, I was surprised to see that Pomfrey hadn't noticed and hadn't kicked me out.

I could really use some Wizarding coffee, I thought, holding my heavy head. Being friends with James had its perks, and I headed to the kitchen. I was stopped halfway there. Walking down a hallway I noticed a peculiar group making their way down the corridor.

"Sweet Circe, James was right. This is the weirdest dream I've experienced," I murmured half-heartedly. A disembodied hand holding a wand was floating in the air followed by a large, elegant stag, a shaggy black dog, and on top of the stag sat a small rat. The stag paused and turned towards me. The entire group of animals and that one hand turned to face me and I swallowed as I took in the sight.

"Hallucinating, hallucinating," I muttered before I blacked out.

That morning I woke up to find myself in the Hospital Wing chair next to James' bed. I sat there in a daze for a while, before heading down to the Great Hall.

"Good sleep Mckinnon?" James asked, his mouth still full of food. The rest of the Marauders shared similar smiles of amusement.

"I-" I began to somehow try to explain last night's confusion, but instead reached into robe and pulled out a Galleon that I kept handy. I placed it firmly onto the table and headed back to the Gryffindor tower to change.

(Feuds)

Dear Idiots That I Call Brothers,

Some very strange events have occurred this past week. As you know, it's now the first week of October, and you should all be very proud of me because my average in all my classes has been steadfastly at least an A. Thank you Maddox, for some of your purely unnecessary study tips. And no, I'm not allergic to knowledge and yes, I did try that thing called studying. I can see Marcell laughing at this right now, and may I just say that I don't recall your grades ever being this good, so please, kindly shut up and let me explain some very interesting developments.

As you probably well know, Sirius Black and James Potter are best friends, brothers would be the more accurate description here. And no, Marcell, stop thinking the term "Mrs. Black." Actually all of you need to stuff it with that. Anyway, the two are on the outs right now. Which is obviously something that doesn't happen, otherwise I wouldn't be writing about it. And their feud has impacted more than I'd like about my life. But I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, let me start from the beginning.

Classes today were brutal. An examination in Charms, a practical in Transfiguration, and double Potions. I emerged from Potions late, after Slughorn had convinced me to help clean up. He asked me to join the self-named Slug Club, after he had heard about my duel with Sirius, which seemed to be enough to earn an invitation. I agreed half-heartedly to attend the next event in an attempt to leave the room. I began walking away from the dungeons when someone calling out my surname interrupted me.

"Mckinnon!"

I turned around to see Regulus Black, his arms crossed over his chest. I mirrored the action. Regulus was known as Sirius' little brother, but the two were made out to be quite different because of their houses. But I thought they were a bit similar. Not only in looks, but also because they seemed to have this grudging love for each other, where they'd both try to smother whatever warm emotions they felt towards the other but didn't succeed. They hid it well, though, with insults and fights.

"Yes Black?"

"Heard you and Sirius got into a duel. Trouble in blood traitor paradise?"

"For clarification," I said through clenched teeth, "it was for dueling club."

"Dueling club? Is that what they're calling shagging now?"

"Bugger off Black."

"Makes sense, doesn't it? Considering you're a tart and he's a whore."

"Shut the fuck up."

"Going to duel me? Speaking of duels, I will give you points for winning. But a death eater wouldn't lose that easily from a simple, tickling spell. And you know they're going to come after you with you and your dirty blood traitor blood."

"And you would know all about death eaters, wouldn't you?" I spat out.

"Actually, yes."

That froze me in my place and I glanced up at him before sputtering, "But…Sweet Circe, you're just a kid!"

It was true that Regulus was only a year younger than I was, and if someone had told me that I was a child last year, I would have hexed them. Yet, the thought of a boy of fifteen with his life littered with murder and darkness, shadows, and demons that would swarm it, made my heart go out to him a bit.

"So are you."

"At least I'm not a kid fighting on the wrong side!"

"And how do you know what side is the wrong one? Both sides kill. Both sides are shaping kids into weapons. The winning side tells war stories and the 'wrong' side is always given a bad name. But don't forget Mckinnon, there are always two sides."

"We're not prejudiced."

"Aren't you? You seem pretty prejudiced against death eaters."

"Well at least there's cause to be!"

"And that would be?"

"You kill people for no reason other than their blood!"

"We kill people to keep the magical power strong. If your father had married someone of pureblood, you'd be much more powerful."

"I'd be a lot more unhappy. I think it's a fair trade."

"Two sides, Mckinnon. There are always two sides."

Voices came from above the dungeon staircase, and we both glanced up only to find that Sirius Black was descending. He paused as he took in the sight. Regulus walked away and I began to go up the steps.

"Where are you going?" Sirius asked as he snatched my wrist.

"Let go of me," I said venomously, not in a pleasant mood. It was one thing for Regulus to insult me, it was another for him to say something that held truth in it.

"What were you doing, talking to him?" He said, his grip still strong.

"What are you doing down here?" I shot back evenly.

"I left my books in the Potions room."

"And I was discussing the delights of Pumpkin Juice with your brother."

"Tell me the truth."

"Why so curious?"

"He's my brother, Mckinnon."

"And?"

"You have brothers, Marlene. You may deny that you love them, but you care about them all the same."

"Touching, Black."

"Don't fool around Mckinnon."

"Fool around? Isn't that your job?"

"Can't you just answer the damn question and we can both go on with our lives?"

"Maybe the truth hurts."

"The truth always hurts. I've gotten used to it. Now what's the big secret?"

I looked down on the ground. There were a million things I could've said just then. I could've lied. I could've brushed him off and ran as fast as the wind. Instead, I pushed the domino over.

"I think your brother is a death eater."

"Th-That's not possible. He's a kid. What would Voldemort want with a kid?"

"I don't know Black! I don't know!"

"He's not a bad kid either…"

I let out a breath as his grip loosened, "I'm sorry Sirius. I'm sure I just misunderstood him."

There was a silence between us and I cleared my throat to fill it.

"Come on Sirius. Get your books and we'll go back to the common room all right?" I addressed him like a child, but he didn't seem to mind. He seemed lost, in need of instruction. He seemed as if he no longer had purpose. Then again, picturing any of my brothers as death eaters would send me spiraling out of control.

Although I know that you lot are not of right mind, I do know that much is certain.

In that moment, I realized just how much Sirius kept locked away. He was darkness wrapped in a cheerful façade of normality. He nodded numbly and went down to the dungeons, emerging a few seconds later with his books in hand. We fell into step and walked into a corridor where we unfortunately discovered Snape talking to Regulus.

"Sirius-" I said when I saw that malevolent expression cross his face. "Don't do anything you'll regret."

Sirius ignored my warning and began to walk to Snape as Regulus left. They conversed for a few seconds and I looked on worriedly. As Snape left and Sirius began to walk back towards me I ran.

"What was that about?"

"He's finally getting what he deserves."

I realized that I definitely did not like the tone that he used.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Don't worry about it Mckinnon."

"Just because you have some sort of vendetta against him doesn't mean that he's somehow corrupting your brother, you realize that?"

"I told you not to worry about it Mckinnon."

I hate it when people say things like that. It's as if they're suggesting: "Oh you're much too daft to understand. You're just a pretty little package and that's about it. You're fair at Quidditch, but you wouldn't understand complicated matters." So of course I did what any angry girl would do…

"Fine," I muttered and walked away.

Now, I know what you're thinking. I'm not an Occlumens, but right about now you're probably insulting me about my pettiness or immaturity or being a girl, or whatever. Perhaps you're insulting me for fun. I wouldn't be surprised. But let me tell you, the insulting is probably well deserved. Because walking away was a big mistake. The next morning brought about many more surprises…

Most people don't place me as a morning person. It's mostly because last year, my mornings were spent over the toilet. But I actually am a morning person. It's enticing to wake up and watch the sun pour its light out onto the ground. It's a new start, as if the slate has been wiped clean. It's also a wonderful time to have a smoke.

James and Sirius were the ones to get me into smoking. The way they sat in the stone courtyard, long legs splayed, silver cigarette cases in one hand and an Every Flavour Cigarette, which were made by Bertie Bott's friend but were quite popular with wizards or young witches and wizards, in the other, helped them exude the type of confidence that every girl was drawn into, like moths to a flame.

And so this is where I found myself, perched in the stone courtyard at the crack of dawn, with an Every Flavour Cigarette in my right hand, in a right disarray with my brother's Gryffindor sweater over my rumpled pajamas. I took in one breath of smoke, the euphoria sweeping over me and giving me that familiar rush and tasting the deep, sensual chocolate smoke before letting it out and watching the dark brown cloud float away into the air. I took another drag and this time came sweet strawberries that rushed out in a puff of ruby red.

I liked cigarettes. They were seductively dangerous, perfect for risk takers. But they were also a bit of control, as if they gave you power over the length of your life. Of course you were making it shorter, but these days, life expectancy wasn't passing forty. And people like Regulus Black would probably be dead before their thirties.

Dorcas found me fifteen minutes and one cigarette later, arms crossed with a look of disapproval.

"Cig?" I offered, holding out my case.

She shook her head with barely mirrored disgust, "No thanks. Won't let myself become dependent on anything, least of all dangerous potions wrapped up in paper."

"Probably the most clever decision," I said as I took one last whiff. Coffee, how fitting. I stubbed it out onto the stone and transfigured the cigarette into a loose pebble.

"Scourgify," Dorcas said pointing towards my mouth, and I nodded in thanks, clutching my hoarse throat.

"Clothes?" Dorcas commented, looking at my outfit.

"It's the weekend. No one cares."

"They'll care when your shorts are riding up your arse."

I transfigured them into jeans with a flick of my wand. "Better?"

"Much."

"I'll have you know that I have a lovely arse."

"Whatever floats your boat Mckinnon. Or rather, unless your lovely arse is too heavy and you end up breakfast for the Giant Squid."

"Always the optimist Meadowes."

"I try."

"Course."

As we entered the Great Hall, Mary scrambled over to us. Dorcas looked down upon her and Mary flinched.

"Yes?" Dorcas asked.

"Stop being rude, Dorc," She huffed at her nickname.

"We lost two hundred points," Mary whispered, as if even saying it out loud would be a disaster.

"Serves you right. Gryffindors," Dorcas said in such a way that it seemed to be the worst insult that anyone could use.

Mary snorted delicately, "Also, Sirius Black has about three months worth of detentions."

"Again, I repeat, Gryffindors."

"Dorcas…If you don't have anything nice to say-"

"Go over to the Ravenclaw table and make fun of you lot without you two looking pitiful every time I insult your house."

"Come on," I said to Mary and we sat across Sirius. He looked surprised, but didn't say anything except pick at his food. Mary met my eyes questioningly. I turned back to Sirius, noticing just how unkempt he was compared to how he looked usually.

"I'm…sorry," I said uneasily, "about telling you about Regulus."

He chuckled, but it sounded sad and not very much like a laugh, "Believe me Princess, you're not the one who's due for apologies today."

And with that, he swung his legs over the bench and walked out of the Great Hall with hundreds of eyes following him as he left alone.

"What was that about?" Mary asked, her wide eyes turned towards me.

"I don't know, probably something to do with the fact that he's sitting away from the Marauders."

"That's…bizarre."

"Yeah, I think so too."

Sirius was on the outs with James and the Marauders and it was absolutely abnormal. Just about the majority of the school asked the two parties what had happened. Merlin, I would've punched all of them. I still don't know what's gotten the two into a feud and you know that James is one of my best mates. It just got even more confusing when Mary and I stumbled upon a Marauder argument while going to the courtyard to soak in what little sun Scotland had to offer.

"I'm getting tutored in Potions."

"Why would you go and do something like that?" I asked Mary.

"I'm hopeless at Potions."

"You're best friends with Lily Evans."

"Your point being?"

"She lives to tutor."

"I thought you said that she lived to help people."

"That too."

"And fighting with James."

"That…is a different matter. Lily is a good person, and she bottles her emotions. James just happens to be her outlet."

"That's hardly fair to James."

"Yeah, it isn't."

"Do you hear something?"

I nodded and put my finger to my lips.

"Please go Sirius. I have an irresistible urge to punch you and your presence is only making it worse.

"Punch me then Moony."

"Don't call me that. Only the Marauders can call me that."

"So I'm out then."

"James kicked you out for good reason. Did you ever consider me? I've been struggling with this my entire life and you make it worse. Can you imagine the sheer guilt? So what if it was Snape? So what if you think in some twisted way that Snape corrupted your brother, you didn't care what happened to me. I don't think I can ever forgive you. You may act and think like you're better than your family, but you're worse than all of the lot."

Remus walked away and Sirius stood there. He ran a shaky hand through his hair and closed his eyes. Sirius Black was a complex person, there was no denying it. What I didn't realize, was that Sirius was afraid of being inhumane. He was a bully and some part of him took a bit of sick pleasure in watching people tormented. Sirius was afraid to be like his family, and with Remus' words still echoing among the stone corridors, his worst fear had been realized. Part of me wanted to go to him, to tug him back from his dangling position on the cliff of humanity. But part of me knew that I might only make it worse.

So I did what I did best.

I walked away.

It got worse, brothers. It really did.

There is an unspoken promise among the population that when your best mate is in a mood, you drop everything and you find them and you comfort them. And if they so happened to be James Potter, then you dragged them to the kitchens, asked very nicely of the house elves for a bit of fire whiskey, and you drank in some secret corridor until you became so pissed that you couldn't feel anything. And this was my intention as I hurried after James.

"James!" I called out as I ran towards him, "I've been looking for you for half an hour. It's been a good workout."

"What do you want?"

"I-I just wanted to see if you were okay," I said, taken aback.

"Do I look okay?"

"N-No, not really. But I can cheer you up, we can go down to the kitch-"

"I'm not really interested in dining with a traitor."

"Traitor? How am I a traitor?"

"I saw you sitting with Sirius this morning."

Anger filled within me. It was red and my temperature spiked. It was in both of us, I realized, and it played a game of tag, seeing who would snap first. Anger only wanted someone to end up hurt.

"James, stop acting like a fucking pre-schooler. Who cares if someone sits with another person? He looked lonely, probably considering his best friends ditched him!"

"You don't know anything, Mckinnon."

"Oh, last name basis is it? I see how it is Potter."

"Why don't you just go shag Sirius? That's what you've been doing for a while now, isn't it?"

"I'm not even going to dignify that with a response! Don't take your anger out on me!"

"Seems well-deserved to me."

"Oh really? Explain that conundrum to me Potter."

"You're a whore."

"I am no such thing! You of all people know that!"

"I'm not done, Mckinnon."

"Oh yes, please continue your explanation of why I'm the most horrible person in this entire school."

"You meddle in things that are obviously not your business."

"To help bastards like you that I call my friends."

"You interrupt like hell."

"Because you're an incorrect pompous turd."

"You're a traitor and you and Sirius deserve each other."

"Not everything revolves around the bloody fucking Marauders. I get it that you and Sirius have your problems, but don't isolate me because of it."

"Fuck off."

"Fuck you."

So basically, James and I were on the outs as well for something I clearly did not do. Which means my life was basically fantastic. Not.

After that, I stayed hidden in the library for the rest of the day, before coming into the common room at around 1:00 P.M.

"You're definitely late for curfew," The Fat Lady commented and I sent her a glare that made her raise her eyebrows.

"Well what's gotten into you?"

"Dignus." The door swung open and I found the common room empty. I swung into a leather armchair and rested my head. I would just warm up against the fire for a few measly minutes before going to the dormitory. Only when I looked up, I realized that the common room wasn't as empty as I initially thought.

"Sirius?"

"Princess," He said with a weak smile that didn't reach his eyes.

"Too much hostility in the dormitory?"

"Kicked out."

"They can't actually kick you out of the dormitory!"

"Apparently they can."

"I'm sorry," I supplied, at a loss for other words.

"Don't say that to me. I don't deserve it."

"James is being irrational. He just cursed me out earlier today."

"Why? You two are like siblings."

"Siblings fight, Sirius. You know that."

"You and James haven't fought since…fourth year or something."

"You and James haven't fought ever."

"First time for everything."

We were silent. He lay on the couch looking up at the ceiling with a blank stare. I looked into the fire.

"Do you…need an extra blanket or anything?"

"No. Good night Marlene."

"Good night Sirius."

October snuck up on us. It crept on us quietly until it descended. The school wasn't the same though. Who knew that the Marauders could have so much impact on the student body? Everyone was thrown off by James and Sirius' feud. Even the teachers. McGonagall seemed absolutely lost without people to deduct points from. If there was anything the school could depend on, it was usually their lightheartedness and their friendship.

We needed something to depend on now. You've seen the Prophet's headlines. Seventeen Muggleborns Killed. The Dark Mark Makes Another Appearance. Family Slaughtered. James was angry too. We hadn't made up, and I wasn't expecting it to happen soon. If he didn't make up in a week, then he would hold the grudge for a while. He threw himself into Quidditch. We had Quidditch practices twice a day. Sirius had to maneuver himself between the detentions and Quidditch practice. McGonagall had convinced Dumbledore for him to stay on the team, mostly because she liked to win and partly because it was much too late to redo tryouts. James has been yelling at us about the first match of the year. The big Gryffindor vs. Slytherin in November. Things were…tense to say the least. James didn't address Sirius. Or me. He whispered to Carter who addressed us. Everyone on our team picked up on it and it impacted our playing, but that didn't deter James. He just called us more names and scheduled more practices, sometimes at the arse crack of dawn. While most of the team was now certain that James was nuts, it wasn't until this one practice. James Potter was absolutely insane and this moment was my irrefutable evidence.

"Gather up team, Potter's got a play he wants us to try," Carter said uneasily, his eyes darting over us. I'm certain that each and every one of us began quaking. Lately, Potter had been encouraging us to try ridiculously dangerous moves from the Wronski Feint, the Parkin's Pincer, to the Starfish and Stick.

"Mckinnon, Black, Astrix, " He said our names uneasily and with an uncertainty, "You three and I are going to be practicing The Glider. Mckinnon…hope you're good at jumping."

Somewhere in the Forbidden Forest, a cricket chirped.

"You're fucking kidding, aren't you?" I asked, and while no one else seemed to voice this opinion, their eyes seemed to convey the same emotion.

"No I'm not Mckinnon."

"I know we've got some issues, but I did not realize that you wanted to murder me."

"You're not going to die, stop being overdramatic."

"People have died before doing The Glider!"

"And?"

"And they were professionals!"

"Your point being?"

"You're insane."

"We're obviously casting a cushioning charm throughout the entire pitch and on the brooms. No one's going to expect it. It's brilliant."

Now most of you are probably wincing at this. Yes. Potter has gone officially mad. He wanted me to do The Glider. And by brilliant, I'm pretty certain Potter meant brilliant in that way that mad scientists are brilliant and mad.

"Of course no one's going to expect it! No one wants to see someone die!"

"All you have to do is trust Black. Which I'm sure you do."

"This is the Quidditch pitch, leave your issues out of it," Carter interrupted and we backed down, "I'll play Keeper, the rest of you begin casting cushioning charms. And be prepared to catch Marlene."

For those of you not Quidditch obsessed (cough cough Maddox), The Glider is a move that is very dangerous, but effective when played out. A chaser, usually the lightest one, jumps off their broom. This provides a distraction for the other team while the other two chasers score goals with the Quaffle. In order to keep the distraction going, the glider falls about five feet from the ground before a beater catches them.

In two words: It's insane.

In another two words: Death sentence.

"FORMATION!" James cried out loud and I mounted onto my broom, shooting him a glare as I passed by him. I pushed off and soared high up.

"Whenever you're ready Mckinnon."

"If you're giving me the option, then don't expect me to do this anytime soon."

"Well then…on the count of three, you're going to jump and hopefully someone will catch you."

"That just gives me so much motivation," I added as I slowly balanced on my feet, standing on the broom.

"One…" I held out my hands to balance myself, "Two…" I glanced down at the pitch, which seemed to be very far away, "Three…"

I jumped.

Now I can already tell you that I'm alive. As you can gather from this very dear letter of mine. But let me just add that it was slightly exhilarating and absolutely… bloody frightening.

I resisted the urge to scream as I free fell from the sky watching the ground come closer and closer until…

I groaned as I landed on the back of Sirius' broom.

"At least I caught you," He pointed out before I could even comment that I was certain my stomach was still a couple of hundred feet in the air with my broom.

"And the cushioning charm helped, eh?"

"BLACK! MOVE! QUICKLY!" Potter shouted and Sirius let out a huff before his broom quickened in speed. I was surprised and quickly tightened my arms around his waist and had clenched my thighs too, just to stay on. The warmth of his body radiated off and I clutched tighter to drink in that warmth, that comfort. It was the least I could do after having fallen nearly a hundred feet. He flew up, almost at a stark 180 degrees back towards my broom. I swung my leg over it and then descended.

Needless to say, I'm pretty sure that I've had my fill of adrenaline for my life. We practiced it twenty times and Potter had me stay behind to practice it a few more times. Or at least that's what I had assumed.

"You did pretty well, Marlene."

"First names now?" I said dryly as I tossed the equipment into the storage closet, after learning that we would not be practicing any more life threatening plays.

"I've been a prat."

"An attempted murdering prat." I corrected.

"You're alive, aren't you?"

"I thought this was an apology."

"Yes, it is. You're right, I was angry when you approached me. And I took it out on you. I'm really sorry." James' hand was ruffling his hair and he looked at me nervously. James did have an ego, and I could tell the beating it was taking for apologizing.

"Should be."

"Do you forgive me?"

"I'm not sure if I should. You called me some nasty stuff."

"I know, but I am really quite sorry."

"Beg."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me right, Potter. Beg."

"Not a single word of this," He hissed after he looked around. I crossed my arms amusedly, half-hoping that maybe someone actually did have a wizarding camera somewhere close by. He got onto his knees, his hands held together and he looked at me, widening his eyes.

"Marlene Mckinnon…"

"Yes?"

"I am woefully regretful and apologetic for calling you a traitor, accusing you of sleeping with people you aren't sleeping with, claiming that you were a prostitute and saying…other stuff."

"You should be."

"Do you accept this apology?"

"You hurt me James," This came out softly, as if it might be lost in the wind. This was no longer a joking conversation.

"I know. I didn't mean it though. I know you're not a whore or a traitor."

"Sometimes I'm not sure you do."

"You're one of my best mates."

"Funny way of showing it."

"I just begged for you. I wouldn't beg for most people."

"And your point still being?"

"Please forgive me. I can't live without you."

"Only because you begged. And because that was strangely poetic. Merlin James, you need a shag."

"All right Mckinnon, I think you've wounded my pride enough for one night." He gave me an easy smile.

"I think you've wounded my buttocks, so I suppose it's even."

"I've missed you."

"I missed you too."

"How's life?"

"Life is all right. Considerably better now that this arse hole apologized to me. He called me all sorts names."

"Sounds like a real wanker."

"Don't even get me started on his hair."

And everything was okay. James and Sirius and the Marauders still haven't resolved everything. But James and I are back to being friends. I just thought I'd keep you updated on the petty drama that occurs within the walls of Hogwarts. And so now you know what has happened in this first week of October. Write soon wankers.

Love you,

Marlene

And everything was okay. It felt especially okay when we were in the common room. Sirius was still set apart from the Marauders, but I knew that they were being more forgiving with him, although the grudge was still there. But there I was, sitting in front of the fire, laughing with my friends.

"Most embarrassing experience ever?" Peter asked. We were playing a questionnaire game and I was learning some really interesting things.

"When I stripped in fifth year at that party and started throwing my clothes in the fire. Then I went around in my knickers and started singing gibberish," I supplied.

"Serves you right for the eight cups of firewhiskey," Lily added, a hand hiding her smile.

"See, unlike you Potter, I have no qualms about sharing nudity stories."

"I don't recall any nudity stories."

"What about the key lime pie incident?" Remus said and both Peter and James paled.

"Don't speak of it."

And then, Professor McGonagall entered the common room and everyone fell silent. Her eyes seemed to seek me out, and she walked towards me. Each step seemed like a thunder clap and a sense of panic rose in my throat.

"Ms. Mckinnon. You have to go to St. Mungo's. It's your brother."

A/N: Yes, I am cruel. But hey, I've added another chapter. That's two chapters in a short time span. I tried uploading this yesterday about twenty times but was being mean...So I'm making up for all those months I left you stranded on chapter one. Also, I got three reviews within the day that I posted Chapter 2, which absolutely made me so happy, I danced around the house for a while. Thanks to apoorvam77, PatronusIsAMockinJay3 and Alice (Alice, I left a reply for your review below my author's note and preview) for reviewing! Thank you to everyone else who faved or followed. You're part of the reason I keep writing! I will hopefully update soon! Also, in case anyone was wondering. When Marlene "hallucinates" she's actually witnessing the Marauders wandering around the castle that will help them write the Marauder's Map. I checked the lexicon, and this is around the time that they'd be writing it :) Also, they wouldn't bring a werwolf onto school grounds (they're not that reckless, so Remus is the one underneath the invisibility cloak) Review if you'd like, it'll make me extremely happy! ~Alison

Preview: In which secrets and changes are revealed.

Alice: Stop, you made me blush and smile! I'm so glad you like all my characters and all these secrets are going to be revealed eventually. I love Dorcas, personally, and she's a very complex character and most people will probably end up loving her, hating her, or somewhere in the middle. James is one of my favorites, he's really just one ball of fun. I also don't like when people ignore Peter. In my mind, Peter's really quite normal but he pales in comparison to the other Marauders. Plus he's not that dumb, considering he's an unregistered Animagus. I'm planning to give him a good-sized part in this fanfiction because he was one of their best mates otherwise they'd never trust him as Secret Keeper. I adore Lily as well. I'm so glad you think I've written her flawlessly, I'm trying to write her character as best as I can. Sirius is another complex character that I'm doing my best to write, and you'll learn a lot more about him later in the fanfiction. Yes! I'm glad you noticed the little duel between Marlene and Regulus, it'll come to play later. Ah, a million hugs to you for reviewing!