Chapter Four: Bloodlines
"The very ink with which history is written is merely fluid prejudice." ~Mark Twain
When I was little, I used to be afraid of the dark. I never told anyone, my brothers would've teased me relentlessly. But it was expressed when the first magic that I ever performed was a burst of light in an especially shadowy night.
I'm no longer scared, of the dark, that is. I'm scared of the things that occur in the dark. When monsters, that take the form of humans, come out to play their sick, sadistic games. When boys sleep with girls they aren't supposed to sleep with. When innocents are struck down in the middle of the night. When people's wills are stolen with a single muttered "Imperio." When prejudice roams free, hiding under the darkness with similarly dark masks. When someone's life is put at stake because of you and you watch their spirit flit away from their eyes.
(2:17 A.M. June 16th 1977)
There was laughter surrounding me, all blurring into one loud sound. I laughed as well, felt the delight of it coming out of my hoarse throat and laughed again.
"She's so fucking pissed," I heard someone comment. It sounded funny to my ears, and so I began to laugh again. Everything was blurring into one and I could've sworn that the boy whose lips began a conquest down my neck had two heads and three eyes.
"It's too hot," I complained as blew a breath over my face sloppily, glaring at the bonfire as if it had personally offended me.
"You can always take off your clothes," One boy said as he raised his eyebrows enticingly. That sounded like a lovely idea. Shirts were much too constricting anyway. I peeled off the shirt easily and cheers and whistles echoed around me. I grinned and felt someone place a cup into my hands. I raised as if I were toasting.
"To…to firewhiskey!" I managed as I threw down the drink, the rush of heat like dragon's breath numb to me at this point.
Cheers similar to mine followed and I watched as the rest of them all gulped down their drinks, the image distorted. Suddenly, I was feeling spontaneous as I glimpsed someone's broomstick lying haphazardly on the ground.
"I want to go on a broomstick ride," I announced, grabbing up the broomstick. Muttered one liners about 'riding' and 'broomsticks' ensued. I swung my leg over the broom clumsily, my brows clashing together in frustration. Wasn't I usually quite good at getting on? James Potter himself had even said that I was a Quidditch star. I grit my teeth and managed to take off, letting out a whoop as the wind ran its hands through my hair.
"Someone get her down! She's way too plastered!" A girl cried out.
"Oh hush up the fun police," I shouted and laughed. My crowd of onlookers followed my example and the girl blushed and stammered, looking as if she wanted to shrink into herself. I did a half-hearted loop, earning cheers. This caused me to beam and I let myself soak in the attention.
"MARLENE!" A thunderous voice poured out and I stopped my parlor tricks as I glanced down at the crowd. A boy pushed through the crowd, the way he pushed people away made him seem dangerous. I lowered myself closer to the ground and saw that it was my brother Manning.
"Oh no," I breathed out as I glared at him. Lately, all Manning seemed to do was interrupt my moments of enjoyment. He had perfected the art of tracking me down at parties, even when I thought I had left no clues and snuck out without even a single slight creak of the floorboards, "It's stick-up-his-arse-prince come to save the damsel in distress," I slurred dryly.
"What the fuck are you doing without a shirt on?" His voice was harsh and venomous. He let out a sigh and pulled out one of my favorite white dresses, likely lying around my room that he snatched before he left, as if he expected something like this from me. The thought was a bit depressing and I had the urge to snatch up another bottle of firewhiskey to rid myself of that pesky emotion. He tossed it to me and I grudgingly slipped it on, much to the displeasure of several boys.
"Now come home. Mav is awake and frantic. He's going to wake up everyone else and then you're reallyin for it."
"I hate you."
"Better to hate me than to be dead from another cretinous antic."
"You're the worst brother I could ask for," I aimed to watch him wince, to flinch. To make him feel as much pain as he made me feel for constantly ruining my fun.
He bristled, and I could tell that he was rattled. A few blokes in the crowd looked relieved, as if they thought Manning was my boyfriend. We didn't look much alike. We had the same dark hair, but that was about it. Where I was spontaneous and audacious, Manning acted as if he were ten years older than his age.
"You're drunk," He dismissed, "Now, we're going home."
I chuckled bitterly, "If you can catch me."
He cursed under his breath, "Fuck, Marlene, I'm not in the mood to play games."
"World doesn't revolve around you, does it?"
"No, it revolves around you. Or at least that's how you seem to act lately."
I glared and pushed off the ground, hard, swearing that I would need the Bruise Be Gone spell that Marcell had concocted for my foot tomorrow. While Manning might have had the upper hand of being sober, I had the advantage of being better at Quidditch. Manning was on the Ravenclaw team and they hadn't won the house cup since I was in second year, while Gryffindor held onto a streak since then.
I raced, allowing him to get only a few feet from me before darting away, like a hummingbird.
"Marlene," He said as he came close, "Just stop and we can go home. I won't even tell Mav, all right? I'll get you a sobering potion and we can just go."
"No," I replied stubbornly. He let out an exasperated breath as he raked his hands through his hair. It was at that moment that I decided I could stand on my broom, a drunken extempore action.
"Look Manning!" I cried out delightedly, "No hands." I laughed, a plan cooked in my head.
"Shit, Marlene, don't move. I'm getting you. Stay there," His panicked eyes flitted and he slowly came towards me. He stood up on his own broom and he reached over for me. In one fluid motion, I dropped down to sit on the broom and floated a few feet away. Manning's eyes met mine. He reached too far and he fell.
He fell.
I realized how horrible my plan was from the beginning. I should've never done it.
"It's all right," I reassured myself as our eyes met for the briefest of seconds. "Someone will cast a cushioning charm."
Someone never cast a cushioning charm. And as he hit the ground, I screamed. I dove to the ground, the sound of his body hitting the ground ringing through my ears. Someone quickly gave me a sobering potion and I dipped my head back as I downed the pungent stuff. I ran to his body and shook him, bringing his head gently into my lap.
"Someone needs to apparate to St. Mungo's!" I cried out and I waited until a seemingly sober girl disapparated and returned a few minutes later accompanied by a Healer. All I could think of were the insults that I muttered to him. Would they be the last thing he ever heard? Would they be the last things he remembered of me? I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry. Not in front of so many people.
"I'm sorry Manning," I said, stroking his hair slowly. "You're not the worst brother. You're one of the best. I'm sorry. That was the most awful thing I have ever done. You weren't supposed to get hurt. Please don't remember the bad things I've said to you. Remember when I was six? You were seven and Mav was practicing Quidditch. He was going to try out for the team. Even though they needed six players, they wouldn't let us play. You said that we would have more fun without them. Remember Manny? We went to the park with our toy brooms and we played there. You told me that you'd prefer me over the rest of them. Merlin, don't hate me. I'm sorry. I love you," I whispered in between broken gasps for air in his ear. But he didn't move. The Healer looked at me.
"Your boyfriend?" He asked absently.
"My brother." I confirmed defensively.
He waved his wand over my brother's body, assessing the damage and I squeezed my eyes shut. I begged Merlin for him to be all right.
If Manning is okay, I will do well in school and study.
If Manning is alive, I will stop drinking and partying.
If Manning is alive…
I trailed off on the promise as the Healer told me that my brother was indeed alive. I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.
"He may be comatose," My confused expression caused him to elaborate, "He may be in a deep sleep for a while. It's a muggle term for an affliction that occurs when something happens, in this case, severe head trauma. Healers don't know very much about how to cure it. We have not learned much about healing the brain."
I shut my eyes tightly, "It doesn't matter. Not if he's alive."
(October 17th 1977)
I stepped out of the fireplace and into the pristine lobby of St. Mungo's. I gripped the mantel, out of breath. I had sprinted towards Dumbledore's office and practically flown into the fireplace to floo with only a hasty "hello" to the headmaster. I was suffocating under an emotion that was a combination of hope and fear. It blurred my vision and caused my heart to pound loudly and quickly.
"Marlene!" My mother said cheerfully and she enveloped me in her arms, "Manning is awake. He's with your father right now, but we managed to round up all of your brothers. They'll want to see you," She said with a smile.
"Mum," I squeaked as my breath began to come easily. She hugged me tighter.
"I know, darling. I know. It will be okay."
It wasn't just that Manning was awake. After Manning's fall, I had remained at home. It had taken two weeks for all my brothers to forgive me. It had taken three for my parents to fully exonerate me. Now everything was falling into place. Manning was awake. Manning. I thought of how many times I was haunted by the memory, which I had extracted and placed in Maddox's pensieve when he was away. And yes, while this embrace was partly due to the fact that everything following Manning's fall was now being resolved, it was also because it was my mum. It was my mum who was a muggleborn in a ever-growing hostile world where muggle borns had targets painted on their backs, in a world where most purebloods knew of the Mckinnon scandal and my mother's blood status.
She seemed to read my mind because she squeezed my hand and smiled warmly, a smile that brought a sense of relief and reassurance with it. She led me to an area outside of Manning's room where four boys were lounging around lazily.
"Marly," Maverick greeted me with a crooked smile. The rest of them shared similar remarks, with Marcell's signature "Mrs. Black." They swarmed around me and enfolded me into their arms. Family had never felt better.
"So your letter," Maddox started as he pushed his wiry spectacles up on his nose.
"You use some very nice language. I have taught you well," Marcell grinned. I returned the sentiment, "Although if James Potter is giving you trouble with the Glider, Merlin have mercy, I have no qualms about beating him until he's the size of his broomstick," I raised an eyebrow, "His wooden broomstick that is."
"Marcell Mckinnon," My mother warned sternly and he shrugged.
"Marlene?" My dad asked as he opened the door, "Manning would like to see you now."
I had imagined this moment for a while now. In some, I had recited a beautiful soliloquy and in others I had stayed silent. As I walked into the room and heard the click of the door as it locked behind me, I was frozen.
Sitting in the bed was Manning. Manning with that familiar dark hair that never stayed flat, even when he was little and Mum spent an hour running a comb through it. Manning with the light eyes that seemed to smile only barely when he was happy. My instinct overcame me and I walked to his bed, each step faster than the last, before wrapping my arms around him.
For a few moments, his arms didn't even touch me, they hung there by his sides. But then grudgingly, one arm wrapped around me and I was ready to sing and dance and explode in a cocoon of happiness. I was reminded of the fear of never seeing my brother again, only to watch him grow old as he slept continuously through a glass window. A single tear fell down my cheek and stained his shirt.
"I'm sorry," I choked out, "I didn't mean to say that you were the worst brother. You're not, you're really a brilliant brother. If anything, I'm the worst sister for making you sacrifice so much to get me-"
"It's okay, Marlene. Family is sacrifice," He cut me off.
He didn't say, "I forgive you." Part of me always knew he wouldn't. Had I been in his place because of his act of drunken stupidity, I would not have been so willing to forgive and forget. Yet, his mere presence helped me. He was alive. My brother was alive. And that was all that mattered.
We stayed like that for two hours, his arms wrapped around me and my head on his shoulder.
(Hidden Demons)
"What do you know about giants?" I asked James as I began to write my History of Magic essay on the Giant Wars. The spare snitch in James' Quidditch kit was in his hand, and he would release it occasionally before catching it just as quickly.
"Preparing to be a seeker?" I raised an eyebrow.
He scoffed, "Of course not. But it never hurts to sharpen your reflexes."
"Or it's a move to get a few more birds onto your admirer list."
He grinned at me and flicked my hair out of my face, "So giants you say? Well they tend to be around, I'd say twenty feet or six meters. Not as clever as we wizards and witches are, although maybe you'd be an exception," To this I shot him a glare, "They're capable of speaking to one another in their native languages and a few can speak English. They tend to be grouped in tribes in distant mountainous region with a leader named a Gurg. They're quite aggressive and pugnacious and will often fight. If a human wanders into one of their fight, it's practically a death sentence. There are loads of Prophet articles about Muggles and Wizards alike being killed by giants."
"You know, for such a tosser, you're quite bright," I murmured as I hurriedly copied down a few of the points he had said.
"Well please, don't sugar coat it."
"Wanker."
"Crazy bitch."
We smiled and I continued to write down my essay, ignoring the unusual quiet in the common room. Had it been a few weeks ago, there would've been cheers from the Marauders as they plotted their next devious plan and whispers of girls as their eyes flitted from the Marauders to their friends. I hadn't seen Sirius in a while now. He no longer came into the common room, and I had a suspicion that he was sleeping elsewhere, likely a bird's room or perhaps even an abandoned classroom.
"How's Sirius?" I blurted.
He groaned, "By the love of Merlin, Marlene, he's the last thing that I want to talk about," His voice was filled with venom.
"James, he's your best friend, practically your brother."
"He was my best friend."
"Honestly, the two of you are far too stubborn for your own good."
"I'm aware."
"It's hurting you both, James."
"You don't know what he did, Marlene!" He shouted and stood up, the anger in his eyes directed towards me. He kicked the heavy arm chair over and groaned before heading up to the boy's dormitory. While I might have basked in attention before, I dreaded it this time. I ignored the flaming cheeks and the tears that threatened to overflow my eyes and the stares and whispers. Instead, I finished the essay, applied a drying charm, capped my bottle of ink, and walked upwards to the girl's dormitory with my head held high.
Hopefully, only I knew it was all a lie.
A knock sounded on the girl's dormitory door, and I peeled away my bed curtains lazily.
"Who is it?"
There was no reply.
"Well come in then I suppose," I said as I flopped back onto the bed, wanting nothing more than to hide under the covers.
In pranced a small paper stag and I wrinkled my brow as it came towards me.
"Common room. Now," It exclaimed and I sighed, walking down the staircase.
"Don't bring him up again," I glanced curiously as I spotted James standing in front of the fireplace, the back of his head facing me. The common room was eerily empty, "I won't snap at you as long as you don't bring up that arsehole. Are we clear?"
"Perfectly transparent. Aren't we going to shake on it?" I said with a tentative smile.
He offered his hand, and I looked at it, before throwing my arms around him.
"I can't lose my best mate."
"Neither can I, Marlene. Neither can I."
And for just a moment, I wasn't sure if we were still talking about me.
I dropped the large book onto the table with so much force, that Peter startled from his nap and Remus shot me a glare as he cleaned his newly spilled ink.
"And the purpose of that was?" Peter asked, wincing as his eyes met the window and the light that streamed through them.
"To alert you to my presence."
"Lovely," Remus muttered in a tone that seemed to insinuate that he wanted me to shove large, solid objects in small tender places.
"What is that?" Peter asked as he evaluated the dusty volume that I had set on the table.
"That," I said proudly, "is the product of a half an hour of searching."
"The Guide to Uncommon Jinxes, Hexes, Curses, and Spells?"
Remus looked up warily, "What are you going to use that for?"
"Dueling club," I replied simply, as I opened the book. A wave of dust flew out and I coughed, waving it away.
"Because…" Peter trailed off.
"Because if you don't know the counter spell, then you're going to be left in confusion, thus weakening your shield and allowing me to win."
"Sometimes Marlene, I think we don't give you enough credit."
"Perhaps that was always the plan. Now, if you two don't mind, I'd like to try some of these spells out. Can't very well try them on myself, can I? Please be my guinea pigs?"
"As long as you take it off," Remus said nonchalantly.
"I'd rather be a rat," Peter squeaked and Remus snorted.
"Oh, show some Gryffindor courage. The counterspell is in the book."
Peter agreed after a little more coaxing, and I delightedly opened the book to a page.
I pointed my wand at Remus, "Rosa berberifolia," I murmured.
Immediately roses started blooming out of his ears and his eyes widened.
"Take it off! Shit Marlene, these things have thorns!" I swallowed nervously as I watched the roses continue to grow. I scrambled to find the counter curse, "Neca Rosae."
Remus glared at me as Peter healed the insides of his ears. I winced.
"Sorry!" I said resulting in a sigh on his part.
"Marlene, you're quite a nice person and everything. I bear no real grudges against you. But, honestly, if you're looking for guinea pigs, I suggest you do not start at this table."
"What a pleasant way to kick me out," I said, sticking my tongue out childishly, to which the both of them responded with the same gesture as I packed up my things. I wandered around the immense library for a few moments, noticing that the majority of the study tables were taken by madly cramming students. I had heard that there was a large exam in Potions for the fourth years. Eventually, after a fair bit of searching, I came across a nearly empty table with a single lone person's head facing downward and tucked into their arms, asleep. I experimentally poked them with my quill, only to have their reflexes kick in and snatch my quill away.
"Lovely," I groaned and began to read through the book. Twenty-five pages in, the head slowly faced me.
"Mckinnon?"
"Black?" I asked, surprise being mirrored in both of our voices.
"All the…other tables are full," I said gesturing towards the busy study groups.
"What are you doing in the library Mckinnon? I expected you to be preparing for Lockhart's birthday party up in Ravenclaw tower."
"I had to find a book," I said, gesturing to my volume, and as a safety measure, brought it closer to me. These spells were to be mine, and mine alone, "And you're one to talk. Sirius Black in the library? I do believe that you are getting senile."
"I could say the same for you. Slipping out of your reputation as a troublemaker, I see. Shall I refer to you as Lily Evans from now on?"
"I'd prefer if you didn't. Mckinnon is just fine. And believe me, I'm not slipping out of anything. I could probably initiate a better prank than you ever could. One that will make a meal announcement."
Occasionally, the Marauders would perform a marvelous feat of pranking, so marvelous in fact, that Dumbledore would casually mention it during announcements. Last year, he had nonchalantly mentioned, "not to enter the Potions dungeon as it seems that a group of young pranksters have flooded it in a pungent substance a combination of slug juice and crushed horn of an unidentified animal of the moment. Professor Slughorn will be teaching in a spare classroom on the second floor and would like to comment that although the "slug horn" combination was quite amusing, that the pranksters should not attempt to do such a thing again."
"What are you planning on wagering?"
"Seven galleons."
"What for?"
"If you pay enough money, you can buy a book from the library."
"Goodness, Lily Evans."
"Oh hush up."
"Is that all you want from me?" He asked with a sly half-smile and a seductive wink.
"Yes," I said smoothly, glad that the table hid my trembling hand, "And honestly, you need to hire a niffler to dig your mind out of the sewer. Not every girl is going to fall for you."
"Mckinnon, one, you just insinuated that my mind is shiny. Nifflers are strongly attracted to treasure or rather shiny objects. Shiny things are often priceless, and therefore I must thank you for the compliment. Two, it is true that not every girl is going to fall for me. Some are attracted to other birds, but even so, given one night, I'm sure I could convert them."
"Sweet Circe, Black. I must depart before your ego snatches any more air out of this corner. But before I leave, we have a deal?"
He stuck out his hand and I snatched it firmly, watching as it disappeared in his much larger one. His hand was strangely cold, and I wondered if it was because the heart that pumped blood throughout his body was also cold.
I gathered my things into my bag and started to walk away. I turned when I was a few feet away from the table.
"Oh and Black?" He looked up curiously, "Fool's gold. Shiny, yes, but not a treasure and definitely not priceless."
I turned around quickly and walked out of the library. And then once I was out, I smiled to myself at his agape expression. Not many people insulted Sirius Black. It was about time someone did. Without a high horse, most Prince Charmings were really only damsels in distress.
"It's October," I informed my friends as I watched Mary and Lily flip pages madly.
"And?" Mary asked meekly, probing for my point.
"And our mock NEWTs are in December, I'll have you remember."
"I still find the idea absolutely ridiculous," Mary said as she dropped her head onto the dining table, "Sixth year is supposed to be a year between the OWLs and the NEWTs."
Mary straightened her spine and did what she did best when she was stressed: hair spells. She curled her hair easily, lengthened it, and made it a golden blonde before I was done chewing my chicken.
"Not a bad look," Lily nodded in approval.
"You look pretty fit, honestly," I agreed.
Mary blushed and hid her face in her potions book. Meanwhile, I took out my beloved library book.
"I have seen you carry that book around as if it were your pillow for two days. What is it? Did you charm it to hold a flask or something?" Lily asked.
"Yeah Marls, I'm not going to lie, I'm pretty curious as well," Mary said leaning forward.
"It does not hold a flask. It is a book that I am reading. Now, I will not be taking any more questions. Dumbledore's standing to prepare for dinner."
"As it is nearing the end of October, I must remind you students of Hogwarts that staying after curfew for celebratory activities during Halloween are not permitted. Furthermore, a student has shown their Halloween spirit early. For this reason, we ask that the Slytherins take the alternate route to their common room. A certain student has charmed painted female undergarments onto a number of portraits, both male and female, and charmed them to sing specific insults for every Slytherin student, specified individually as the students' faces are printed on the undergarments. Every few minutes or so, they will chorus in unison, "Slytherins are bottom-eating scum" as well as occasionally the curious line of, "Don't underestimate me, fool's gold." They have been permanently stuck in the corridor leading to the Slytherin common room, covering the walls, floors, and ceilings. This behavior is not acceptable," Yet Dumbledore seemed amused and his eyes twinkled that familiar glint, "And I ask that the person responsible please turn herself or himself in before we have to reverse the memory spells placed on the portraits that made them fail to recall their captor. That is all, thank you."
I lifted my glass of pumpkin juice to Sirius and toasted, smiling as his shoulders shook with silent laughter.
I was wandering through the corridors after dinner, taking a mostly unknown short cut towards Gryffindor tower. Mary and Lily had left for the library as soon as they were done eating, leaving me to walk alone to the seventh floor. I was startled to find Sirius leaning nonchalantly against the wall, long legs on display, arms crossed, and a cigarette in one hand.
"Are you following me or something?"
"No, Princess, that would imply that I would be behind you. Perhaps it is you following me?" I scowled as he smirked.
He tossed me a small bag that jingled as it left his hand. I was pleased to find seven Galleons, as promised. When I looked up, he grinned.
"Mckinnon, you are really quite smashing, did you know that?"
"I've been told on more than one occasion, but if we're here to inflate my ego, by Merlin's beard, you don't have to stop there."
He chuckled in his low voice, and in the abandoned corridor, it echoed for a few seconds longer.
"Enlighten me on how you accomplished this impressive task."
"A prankster never gives away his or her secrets, of all people shouldn't you know that?"
He sucked in his cigarette hard, I thought that he would faint from lack of oxygen, but eventually he let out a cloud of golden smoke.
"Cake," He commented with a half-smile, "And I wouldn't really know. James was the prankster. Remus was the brains. Peter was the minion. I was just there." He took another drag and offered me his cigarette case from his front trouser pocket.
"Thank you," I said and leaned against the wall, taking out my wand and lighting the cigarette. I inhaled, letting the potions swirl in my mouth and linger in my lungs, before letting them out in a slow puff.
"They're miserable you know. You're all miserable. You're the Marauders. The Marauders are one entity, separate them and you're…it's just not right anymore."
He laughed bitterly, "James has no problem with that."
"James does everything with his whole heart. Hate, love, infatuation. He'll come around."
"Is this the part where the sappy music starts playing like in the muggle movies?"
"How do you know about muggle movies?"
"I try to learn everything about muggles just to see my mother wince. I even dated a muggle bird once, she wanted to go to the movies."
"Always been curious about this, do muggles kiss differently than witches?"
He laughed, tilting his head back, "Why did that thought enter your mind?"
"Well I'm not really around the muggle world that much, except to visit my grandmother and grandfather and occasionally around muggle London with my mother to go shopping. Never been in an intimate relationship with a muggle, you see."
"You can experiment. I know ways to sneak out of this castle unnoticed. And I wouldn't mind helping out to test how a wizard kisses compared to a muggle boy. Although, if you are working on that topic, I must warn you that my snogging abilities are far more superior than any plain wizard and I might skew the results."
"When are you going to get it through your head, Black, that I'm not looking to be one of your sexual endeavors. Just a mate, and while I understand the concept of having a friend that is of the opposite gender and not given the title "friends with benefits" is devastatingly confusing, you'll work it out in time," I said rolling my eyes and elbowing him in the stomach lightly.
"You're definitely the first," He said, returning the elbow jab with just a little more force. I glared, sending him a sharp one to his rib cage. He sighed as if I was a small child who he simply didn't understand. Secretly, I knew he was frustrated that I had the upper hand in our childish war of elbows and pokes. I inhaled and tasted blueberry smoke, letting it come out in a smoke ring. With expertise, Sirius blew out a larger green ring of smoke that engulfed mine.
"Lime?" I wondered out loud.
"Worse, brussell sprouts," He informed me with a displeased expression, one that caused me to laugh.
"Why do you smoke?"
"I'm not going to lie to you, Princess. It's partially because it attracts the birds."
"Yes, dying early and blackened lungs are very attractive."
"Hypocrite. Why do you smoke then?"
"It looks cool, but it also gives me control."
"Pray tell, how does an addictive substance give you control?"
"Of all the confusion and the death out there," I gestured to the window we were facing, looking out to the expansive outdoors, "At least with a cigarette, I know I will die earlier. Better to die on my own knowledge, than by a curse shot behind my back."
"I smoke… I smoke because smoke is there but it's untouchable. You can never feel it between your fingers, never quite palpable. It's just out of reach. So close, but not quite. That's how I am. You will never know me, never understand me fully."
"I could try."
"But you won't succeed, that's the point. You, Marlene Mckinnon, will never completely empathize with me. You'll never be able to read my thoughts, my mind, nothing. You, and everybody else in the world, James Potter included, will never figure me out. You wouldn't understand me even if I explained myself to you."
He looked at me, his eyes boring straight into mine. To this day, I could still not name the colour of Sirius Black's eyes. They complimented him, that was for sure. But I could say (with pride nonetheless) that I was not one of the Sirius Black's admirers who felt the need to find the exact colour of his eyes. I did not care whether they were a "Air-force blue", "blue-grey", "Carolina blue", "Glacius", "Steel blue", or "Columbia Blue". In my opinion they weren't even blue at all. They were not grey, and I still didn't care if his eyes were "Gainsboro", "Light slate grey", or just plain "slate grey". All I knew was that they were stormy and grew darker when he was mad or when he wanted something and he couldn't seem to get it (which was a very rare occasion for Sirius Black indeed). But right now, as I looked at him, they seemed broken. It was as if something inside him had fallen and tumbled and crashed, and subsequently the rest of him came undone as well. He was someone who no one understood, and would likely stand to be that way for a while. He was alone, and while it was true that everyone felt lonely sometimes…To be lonely forever would break someone and swarm them with demons to keep them company, all to fill that void.
And somewhere inside of me, I knew, that I was one step closer to understanding Sirius Black.
"Pray tell us where you're heading this late at night?" Lily said as she tapped quill against the table in a rhythm I recognized as the popular Muggle song Silver Lady by David Soul.
"Head boy gave me detention."
"What now Marlene?" Mary said as she peeked from behind her mane of newly charmed dark crimson curls.
"Don't use that exasperated tone with me. I haven't been in a detention in weeks."
"Marlene," Lily deadpanned, "We've only been in school for a few weeks."
"Technicality," I waved it aside.
"With what cause did the Head Boy give you detention?"
"The head boy was placed in charge of undoing the massive prank on the Slytherin corridor. Took him awhile, but he finally managed to remove the obscure memory spell with Dumbledore's help. They claimed that I was guilty."
"The Marauders blamed you?" Mary asked, her face twisting in confusion.
"Or perhaps there are other people in this castle with enough smarts to pull off a prank like that," I added with a wink.
Mary and Lily both shared impressed expressions mixed with a few teaspoons of surprise.
"Well off I go. Make good choices," I said with a wave as I gathered my robes in my arms to protect me from the Scotland October chill, "Although, frankly, considering it is you two, I'm not that worried. Correction to my last statement: be reckless for once and make bad choices. I promise you Peter's spliff will be worth it."
"Marlene! That's not allowed!" Lily hissed, but I could tell some part of her wanted to do as I had just advised.
"Live a little. We're all going to die young anyway."
Lily and Mary's faces froze and smirked, "Sometimes, it's as if you two are more naïve than five year olds."
I left them there, shaken by my words. And inside me, some sick part of my mind rejoiced at causing them pain. The same sick part that had cheered at the thrill of my small stunt that almost cost my brother his life. I left out the portrait hole and hurried down the stairs, taking shortcuts so I could make it to my detention on time. The Head Boy wasn't there, but he left a note, telling me to collect a few herbs for Professor Slughorn's third year potions class, along with a list of ingredients that I'd have to gather. I silently cursed the head boy, and then upon glancing at the Forbidden Forest along with the cloudy sky, cursed him again not so silently.
I trudged into the forest, wand gripped tightly.
"There's nothing in the forest, nothing in the forest," I reassured myself gently, grabbing onto the bark as I nearly stumbled over a root.
"Lumos," I said and gratefully began gathering ingredients. One year, Slughorn had taken us to the Forbidden Forest and shown us the best places to gather ingredients. I sought those places out, and once I had gathered all the herbs and ingredients necessary, I placed them in a pouch the head boy had left for me and tucked them safely inside my robes. I slowly made my way back to the castle. The forest was eerie, there was no denying that fact. But it was peaceful and serene in a way that I hadn't known it could be. I sat down against a tree, one eye closed while the other stayed open, enjoying the peace. I would sit there for a few minutes and rest. My back and feet had been complaining of the laborious task of walking throughout the forest and stooping to gather. However, the silence was shattered by one thing: A long and low howl. A howl that could not possibly be human or animal, but rather a combination.
The Sorting Hat saw a reason to put me in Gryffindor. And for that, I must have some bravery inside of me. Many Gryffindors tend to believe that there is no difference between being rash and being brave. However, being rash is confronting a werewolf. Being brave is protecting someone else from the werewolf. Or protecting yourself, and collecting your wits quickly when you hear a werewolf's howl and knowing that you should run. As fast as humanly possible.
"Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit." I scrambled up from my spot, hearing my heart beating, and wondering if the werewolf could hear it as well. I stumbled upon a tree root, and winced, feeling a cut and blood spread over the fabric of my trousers.
"I really hate the fucking head boy," I cursed again as I glanced at the clearing sky, revealing a full moon. Could wolves smell blood?
"Point me," I rushed, holding my wand in my shaking palm. The forest was east of the castle so I tore to the West. I felt branches scratch at my face and my body, whipping cuts into my skin. I ran as fast as I could and contemplated whether to climb a tree or to accio my broom towards me. I continued running, I could see light farther up ahead, Hagrid's hut would be close and from there the castle wouldn't be too far off. My foot slipped and twisted painfully from beneath me and I cried out loud, before covering my mouth just as quickly. I gripped the bark of a nearby tree and pulled myself upward, hoping that the adrenaline would cover up the pain once I started running again. I hoped to gain momentum before breaking out into a sprint again, feeling tears leak out as the adrenaline had not helped with the pain.
In an unfortunate incident, my good ankle tripped over a tree root and I groaned in pain, pushing myself up off the ground in an effort to continue my sprint to safety. However as I got up, I was face to face with a werewolf. My breath caught in my throat.
I was prepared to die in a war. Somehow dying at the hands of a werewolf while at detention for playing a prank seemed to lack the poetry of death as a war hero.
The werewolf's snarl seemed to echo through the trees and I swallowed and held my breath, waiting for the inevitable. I could feel it's warm breath, see the muscles tense, ready to pounce, ready to kill. It's eyes narrowed in aggression and violence. I closed my eyes slowly. If I was going to die, I would die calm. However, after a few seconds and no death occurred, I opened my eyes to find a stag pushing his antlers against the werewolf. The wolf's claws scratched at the stag's stomach and I suppressed a scream as some of the animal's blood splattered onto my face. A small rodent crawled it's way to the werewolf's head and began to claw at the ears. The werewolf tried to scratch it away, but the rodent, which was revealed to be a rat in the moonlight, clung on. With a sudden realization, I came to the conclusion that the rat and the stag were the same ones I encountered in the castle while I was hallucinating.
"What the-" I breathed out just as the werewolf broke away from the stag's fight and lunged at me. I scrambled to my feet, and backed away, before running, but then a single sharp pain ripped through my back and a scream left my throat, hovering in the air. I fell onto the ground, feeling my shirt now warm with blood from the claws of the werewolf that had scratched my back. I turned around and saw the werewolf stalk towards me quickly. He lunged. However, I was pulled away just in the knick of time but a blinding pain erupted in my right shoulder and I gasped, squeezing my eyes shut. I looked to my savior, to find the black dog I had witnessed in the same hallucination. His jaws had grasped my shoulder and tugged me away, lest I would've died, or perhaps faced a worse fate: becoming a werewolf. The stag seemed surprised at the dog's arrival, taking on the deer in headlights expression, but used its antlers to shove the werewolf away, and pushed it deeper into the forest.
Shock, relief, and confusion flooded through me. And then pain, so much pain and hurt that seemed to swarm everywhere and smother me. Finally, yet I was sure it was only a few seconds that passed between the thought and darkness, my body blocked out the pain and I fell into blissful unconsciousness.
Everything hurt. I was suddenly aware of everything that had just occurred. My eyes flew open with force and I jerked up. A gentle force fell upon my shoulder.
"Careful, I haven't healed all your wounds. Your ankle took me a good half an hour. Suppose my Defense essay for tomorrow will be either pretty shoddy or late."
"What are you doing here Black? Or rather what am I doing in the sixth year's boy's dormitories?"
"Ah…that…might require a bit of patience and explaining."
"Sirius Black, I almost died or became a werewolf tonight. I'm in no mood to deal with any sort of build-up. I don't know what's going on. My hallucination came true and there was a rat and a stag and a dog and oh God…Oh God…Sweet Circe. Prongs and Padfoot and Wormtail and…and…Moony," I rambled hysterically before I halted as I realized what exactly had happened and what my realization meant.
"You're much smarter than most people seem to take you for," He said.
"But, that's not possible. I've checked the animagi register for a Transfiguration paper, you three are nowhere on there. And while you and James are bright enough and Peter's decent, I see no way how a few teenagers could accomplish the dangerous magic of becoming an Animagus. And Remus…Remus can't be a," My voice halted, as if it refused to mutter the word, "a werewolf."
"Just like most people don't give you enough credit, the Marauders are only seen as a group of pranksters. We're all quite good at transfiguration, otherwise Minnie would've kicked us out a while ago. We did it for Remus. As Animagi, we wouldn't be able to be hurt by him and help him through the process. We wrestle together and keep him entertained."
"How long has Remus been a…"
"It's not a bad word, you know. It's a condition. He doesn't like it any more than you or I do. And since he was really young."
"That's awful," I could only say, thinking of the excruciating pain the young child Remus would have had to experience.
"Tell me this Black, if you're out of the Marauders, why were you there tonight? I swear to you, I saw James' look of surprise when you came."
He took out a sheet of old parchment from his pocket and I raised an eyebrow.
"While I do agree that your Defense essay is quite important, it's also very rude not to answer a question."
"I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."
"Lovely, Sirius. I think all of Hogwarts knows that."
My next snarky remark was cut short as I watched ink spiral out of the parchment and stared in amazement as names filled the paper.
"What is this?"
"The Marauder's Map," Sirius announced proudly, "Took a while of cartographing and research. When you were in the hospital wing that one time and saw us in our Animagus forms, that's when we were exploring the castle. Remus was under the invisibility cloak, we aren't reckless enough to bring a werewolf into the school. I saw you leave the common room and asked Lily where you were going. She said detention. I knew that some detentions took place in the Forbidden Forest, so I checked just in case. But honestly I didn't think you would be there, all of the staff know about Remus' condition and keep track of the moon cycle."
"Obviously not the fucking head boy."
"That would make sense, only the staff and the Marauders know about it. And you and Snivellus."
"Snape?"
Sirius' expression hardened and his next words were venom, "Snape is the entire reason my friends hate me."
"Elaborate?"
"You don't understand. I hated him so much that day. For my brother, for everything. I'm not normal, Marlene," He laughed darkly and his voice took on a deep, warning tone, "I hurt people. And I like it. I was very nearly put in Slytherin. If I hadn't met James that day, I would be lying in the Slytherin dungeons right now. But I did meet James, and he told me about Gryffindor. It helped that I had gotten in an argument with my parents that day. And so I rebelled and begged the sorting hat to place me in Gryffindor. And he did. I wanted to hurt Snivellus, wanted him to be out of my life, out of my brother's life. I sent Snape to Remus. On a full moon. James learned of the plan and saved him. He hasn't forgiven me since." The last sentence was muttered bitterly, "Neither have any of the Marauders. I would've expected good old Pete to have crumbled by now, but even he's stood his ground. Honestly, I think you might be my only friend. Although that's a lost cause now. Who desires to be friends with a sadist?"
"Another sadist?"
"You? Princess, what have you been hiding?" His smile part joking, part curiosity, part hope.
"My brother almost died because of me. And I could've prevented it. I set him up to fall. And fall he did," My voice trembled, "And he slept for months, stuck in a coma. Muggle medical term when the brain pretty much shuts down."
He stayed silent for a while, and even though he tried to hide it, a small smile crept on his face, "I probably shouldn't be smiling. But maybe you have a small chance of understanding me after all." For a split second we shared a glance, and for a split second we shared a smile. It was not a normal smile or even a happy smile. It was a broken smile. It was the smile you got when you found a light in the dark, when you realized that perhaps you weren't so lonely after all.
"Now take off your shirt Mckinnon."
Well, it was a nice moment up until then.
"Excuse me?" I managed to get out, my voice unnaturally high pitched.
"Wounds, Mckinnon. I need to heal your wounds."
"Oh," I breathed out, feeling heat rise to my cheeks. I tried peeling the shirt off but let out a cry of pain. The cuts in my back and the bite on my shoulder prevented me from being able to move extensively, "You're going to have to cut it off me or rip it off gently. I can't move my shoulder. And I think some of it is stuck to the skin because of the blood," I said through gritted teeth. The pain had been dulled while I was distracted by our revelations, but now it came back in a staggering amount.
"Normally, having a girl with looks like yours telling me to rip off a shirt would be the highlight of my day, but I'm not quite sure how exactly I'm supposed to go about this without making anything worse."
"I don't care, Black. Just do it and heal the damn wounds quickly."
He chuckled.
"What are you laughing at?"
"I just find it amusing that my skill at shirt-ripping will finally come in handy." He gripped the collar of my shirt and I felt my breath hitch in my throat. I could feel his warm breath cling to my eyelashes. If I looked straight ahead, I would stare at his lips.
Damn it, Marlene. You were going to get over him.
"Black?" I asked, mentally kicking myself for the tremble in my voice.
"Yes?" He asked and looked down. For a few seconds, dark eyes meet stormy ones. He licked his lips, out of nervousness or discomfort I suppose. My eyes darted to his lips again and I heard my breath become more shallow.
"Hurry."
I focused on the loud sound of the fabric ripping. He peeled it off gently and I grimaced as it separated from the wounds.
"I never took you for a white lace bird, more black lace."
"I was a black lace girl once," I bit my lip as the healing spells ran over the wounds.
"I've gotten rid of most of the scarring but there's still some faint lines."
"That's all right. Thank you."
We sat in an awkward silence for a while, before Sirius stood up and grabbed a Gryffindor jumper from a nearly empty trunk.
"Yours I presume?"
"Was it the House of Black sigil that I scratched out or the emptiness that gave it away?" His tone was an attempt at a joking one, but came off as bitter.
"Where do you sleep?"
"Secret."
"Correction: Who's the lucky girl who gets to sleep with Sirius Black daily?" I said as I slipped the large sweater over my head.
"Come on Mckinnon, girl singular? You know me better than that. However, while I dearly wish for a girl to warm, certain spells prevent me from doing so."
I rolled my eyes, "I'd pay to see the day that Sirius Black settles down with one and one alone. Male or female."
He laughed, "Male or female?"
"I'm pretty sure that if you could, you would marry yourself."
He smiled half-heartedly, "Probably."
Sirius Black, the loner.
"Well, I should leave you to your defense essay. Night," I said, standing up to leave the dormitory."
"Mckinnon."
I turned around to find Sirius standing awfully close to me. His finger gripped the sweater sleeve that had slipped off of my shoulder and pulled it back over to its proper place. I could hear my heart beat furiously and I cursed myself, my heart, and most of all Sirius Black.
"Night," He finally said with a twist of his lips that I couldn't distinguish as a smirk or a smile.
I hurried down the stairs and ran up to my own dormitory. I flung myself into my bed, drawing the bed curtains close with a purpose.
Damn.
(Impurities)
"You look like someone's told you Charms has been canceled and replaced with Divination," I informed Lily. She scrunched her face in poorly disguised disgust. Lily was passionate, but logical, creating a very strange personality. However, she loathed divination, the logical side of her overwhelming her passion when it concerned the subject.
"I bought a Muggle novel at a garage sale-"
"Garage sale?"
"Basically a place where people sell their old things."
"All right, continue."
"I heard about it before. It's 1984 by George Orwell, and it was a lovely book. But there was a lot of it ripped out. How could someone do that? Just end it there. No warning, no premonition, just done."
"If it's as popular as you say, then you could always find a copy over the hols."
"That is true," She sighed.
"What was it about?"
"It was the author's vision of life in 1984. There's a war going on, but not much is known about it. The world is controlled completely by the government, who go so far as to try to control people's thoughts. It is headed by a figure called Big Brother and an inner party-"
"Doesn't sound much like fiction to me," I said as we entered Transfiguration. Mary let out a whistle and I echoed her shock. McGonagall had actually decorated for Halloween, placing pumpkins at each desk. It was a well known fact that McGonagall was not enthusiastic about very many holidays, save for Gryffindor Quidditch matches (which, to her, counted as holidays). The House Cup sat in her office since second year, and she liked it that way. Lily made her way to the front, and Mary and I shared a look before grudgingly sitting next to her.
"Hello class. Since today is Halloween and I've learned from my numerous years of teaching that making sure a class pays attention today is nearly hopeless, we shall be transfiguring pumpkins into bats or candy, depending on your level," She said, sending a glare to a number of students who were known throughout the year as not the sharpest knife in the drawer. The fact that they made the more advanced class was a surprise, but I figure they had lucked out or cheated off some of the brightest in our year.
James, Transfiguration star that he was, had turned the pumpkin into a bat easily and furthermore turned it back and began turning the pumpkin into a number of other things. However in the middle of a transfiguration, the pumpkin simply burst into flames. He furrowed his eyebrows and looked around for a culprit, and found Bellatrix smirking. Her bat flew over to land in the ashes, and then it too decided to spontaneously combust near his face. Then she grinned. Bellatrix grinning is an even worse omen than Bellatrix smirking. Especially when near flammable objects. Like James.
"What are you playing at Bellatrix?" Sirius hissed as he leaned over the desk.
"Just a little glimpse of a fascinating event to come." She smiled sweetly.
"What do you mean?"
"You'll see, bitch," She replied, again in that overly sweet tone, the one that seemed to convince authority that she was oh-so-innocent, but was really dancing on the edge of sinister and fake charm.
"Stop it with your mind games," Peter spoke up, "if you're threatening us, you should know that it's bad form to leak anything out."
"Just know that you're all invited. Attendance is not optional. Just ask Peter."
McGonagall frowned down at her. "And why, might I ask, are you speaking across the aisle instead of working, Miss Black?"
"Oh, we were all finished and I was just inviting them to a party over the next holiday. It's in two weeks, after all, and I do miss my schoolmates dearly during our weeks away."
McGonagall frowned and opened her mouth as if she was pointing out the lie, but then closed it, nodded, and continued walking down the aisle. Mary transfigured her pumpkin into a bunny and Lily coed over it. Yet the bunny hopped nervously, and as it fixed its eyes upon me, I saw fear. I looked to the smoking pile of ashes on James' desk and the same fear began to creep into my own mind.
Before our third year, Professor Slughorn had apparently thrown stuffy self-titled "Slug Club" Halloween parties, where he might bring in a vampire or werewolf. However, it just so happened that in our third year, the Marauders began their tradition of throwing outrageous parties on Halloween where the butterbeer and firewhiskey would flow as easily as the girls that night would give it up. Slughorn had given that tradition up when his attendance began to reach startling low numbers. And so, as it was, I sat in the Gryffindor common room swirling a glass of pumpkin juice and fanning myself due to the never-ending amount of body heat. It seemed as if the whole school had turned out. I wouldn't have been surprised if it had.
My eyes flickered up towards a group of girls, laughing a bit too loud, batting their eyelashes a bit too much, and wearing too little, wrapping themselves around the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, Benjy Fenwick, who happened to be Manning's friend. Manning would be back in a week if he was feeling up to it. I smiled at the thought and took another gulp of pumpkin juice in celebration. One of the girls giggled in an obnoxious manner.
"I used to be one of them," I mused, "How pitiful."
I finished my pumpkin juice the way everything happened at this party: quickly.
"Oi! Marlene!" I heard a shout from somewhere in the crowd and whipped my head to find James and some bird against a wall snogging as if their lives depended on it.
"Potter," I called back and pushed my way towards him, "You called?"
"And you came," He said with a smile and a swig of firewhiskey, "Remus, Remy, Moony my mate, would like to have a word with you," He murmured in between kisses and pointed somewhere in a direction where I spotted Remus, leaning against a wall and looking miserable, cradling a glass of butterbeer.
"All right, that's enough for you," I said to James, snatching the firewhiskey away from him.
"I never stopped you," He protested.
"You don't want to be a drunken idiot, do you Potter?"
"Says the kettle to the pot."
"I'm sober."
"What happened to Marlene?" He asked, genuinely confused and my brow straightened.
"She grew up. And in this world and this war, you would do well to try something similar."
"You can leave now," The girl, who was trying to gain James' attention, spat at me. I rolled my eyes and walked towards Remus.
"Hullo Remus," I said, sitting down on the stone floor. He followed my example and I cast a few boundary charms so that we could talk without the noise.
"I owe you an apology," Remus blurts the moment I finish putting up the silencing charms.
"For what?" I ask, looking to him for clarification.
"Oh come on Marlene, you're not dumb, you're quite smart actually. You figured it out. I know you did. You know I'm a werewolf and you know James, Peter, and Sirius are animagi. You don't have to pretend to appreciate my presence or anything like that, but you can't tell anyone," His eyes were frantic as they searched mine. I felt my heart go out to Remus. Poor Remus who had gone through unbearable pain from such a young age each month. Remus Lupin, clever and full of potential, who would likely never get a decent job due to the prejudice. Remus Lupin who never chose to be shunned, to be an outcast, but was forced.
"Of course I won't tell anyone, Remus. And I won't pretend to appreciate your presence, I do appreciate you presence, I did and I still will. Learning that you probably have more challenges than anyone else in this room and still maintain more than decent marks and have some of the best mates you can come across, is remarkable."
He smiled as he looked down at his lap, "I'm sorry. I almost killed you the other night. I can't control myself as a wolf. But I'm still blamed for his actions. He never leaves my head. He's caged, but sometimes I-I'm not sure who I am. Am I the wolf or am I Remus John Lupin?" He laughed bitterly, "Not your typical teenager questioning their character, I suppose."
"You are Remus John Lupin, wolf included. And he might be a demon, but he is a part of you, just like everyone else's demons that swarm in their head. None of us are clean of them, and they will continue to haunt us for the rest of our lives. You shouldn't apologize for things you can't control. And I'm still alive, aren't I?" I asked, gripping his chin so that he would look up, "Healthy as a horse."
"I suppose. Maybe still a little mental in the head."
I slapped him upside the head playfully, "Good things happen to bad people, Remus, because the world is unfair and full of injustice and unhappiness. Good things happen to bad people because obstacles are built and meant to test a person's limits. The more obstacles, the stronger and more potential a person has."
Remus grinned, "That was really touching, Marlene. I would hug you, but at this point I really need a snog or a shag to regain my masculinity because I just shed a tear there."
"Screw masculinity," I said off-handedly and embraced him anyway. He chuckled, "There, there Mckinnon. Someone might think that we were a couple."
"Oh dear God, get away from me Lupin," I joked and scrambled away from him and took pleasure when I made him laugh.
"Find yourself a nice bird," I added and sent him off into the crowd. He turned around to shoot me a thumbs up before disappearing in the crowd. I gave a final wave and then slumped against the wall, snatching up a butterbeer, before putting it away.
"I promised," I reminded myself. I sought the dance floor and danced with a few of my friends. It was around midnight when the party came to an abrupt stop.
There was a blood curdling scream and not a few minutes later, a panting girl and boy burst through the portrait hole, tears in their eyes. I glanced to Lily and she pushed through the crowd, coming towards the couple, snatching up a blanket on her way. She draped it across their shoulders gently.
"Are you all right?"
The girl began crying and the boy awkwardly wrapped his arms around her.
"We were in the astronomy tower," The girl managed between gasps and tears, "And, someone cast the dark mark. Th-the sign they printed in the Daily Prophet the other week. It was above the school." She burst into tears again.
"They set fire to part of the Forbidden Forest, and it's coming towards us. It's curse fire," The boy whispered, but the room was so quiet that I had no doubt everyone could hear it. I sought out James and silently made my way towards him, offering him a crystal phial.
"Drink." I ordered, and he frowned but did so. He grimaced and I slapped a hand over his mouth, just as a precaution.
"Swallow."
Again he followed my instructions, but turned to me with a frown.
"That was awful, Marlene."
"Shh," I shushed him, "That was sobering potion. You're lucky I was smart enough to make an entire batch. It was originally intended for a few friends after today's party, but if we're smart, we're going to have to split it between the older more inebriated kids."
"Why?"
I gestured to the couple who were still shaking uncontrollably while Lily did her best to comfort them, "We're under attack."
And for a flash, James' eyes grew wide with fear and realization.
"Just a little glimpse of a fascinating event to come," James' voice echoed my thoughts.
The prefects had sent all children fourth year and under into the dormitories, not matter their house. For the fifth years to seventh years, we distributed all the sobering potion we could find and formed ourselves around every entrance and exit.
"All we have to do is man the doors," A seventh year supplied, breaking the uncomfortable silence, "Just make sure the children are safe."
"Some good defensive spells are Expelliarmus, Stupefy, and Petrificus Totalus," Another said helpfully, smiling uneasily at the fifth year students who glanced at each other with fear. We waited. Whether for hours or minutes or seconds, we stayed still, eyeing the portrait hole as if it would burst open and we would all die.
Humans: both Muggles and witches and wizards are afraid of many things. Individually, we fear different things. But collectively, we are afraid of the unknown. That was the fear that plagued us now. We were not afraid of death, but what came after it. We were not afraid of the castle, but what had snuck into it and who was still alive. My wand hand started shaking after a while and I let it down, massaging the sore muscles. I looked around, to see that a few others had also done similar actions.
As the time wore by, more of us began to sway on our feet and could not find the energy to pry our eyes open. I fell backwards, catching myself by gripping the furniture closest to mine.
"Enerverate," I pointed at James' eyes and he jerked awake, cursing me and my bloody spell. An hour or so later, the portrait hole began to open. Immediately, those who were awake pointed their spells and hastily shot off many of them. We were flung back by an extremely powerful shield charm.
"Wands down, please!" Professor McGonagall shouted and took in the scene, "There will be detentions and points given and taken for this," she gestured towards the obvious signs of festivities and alcohol, "but for now it is more important that all students report to the Great Hall so that we may make sure everyone is accounted for." A few of us trudged our way towards the dormitories to gather up the younger students. The large group slowly and groggily made our way towards the Great Hall. I found Lily and Mary and we walked with our hands clenched on our wands. When the large doors were opened, we took in the mess.
I found Professor McGonagall at the front, and in her wise and elderly face, consternation flew into her eyes.
"Go back!" She ordered, and we pushed against the back end of the crowd out of the Great Hall. She hadn't given the command early enough to hide the view more than a few people had glimpsed in the Great Hall.
Written in a dripping, crimson substance upon the large window behind the teacher's table were four words: Impurities must be bled.
And scattered throughout the floor were wizarding photographs of a second year Hufflepuff girl, her face twisted in anguish with tears falling down her cheeks. She was a muggleborn.
And just below the haunting four words, were ones that were even more eerie: Do what we ask or the mud blood will flow.
A/N: Hello faithful readers! So sorry that I took so long, I'm volunteering at a hospital and it's quite tiring but also fun at the same time! To make up for the long absence, I have more than a few gifts for you, because you guys are all so marvelous and I thank everyone who reviewed my story, PMed me, favorited or followed my story, you guys are part of the reason I still write this! This chapter is very long, I think it's the longest one yet. Speaking of long pieces of writing, The Butterfly Effect has reached 67 pages! Another gift is that I gave you more than a couple of Blackinnon moments J I hope that satiates you for now! But I have yet another present for you lovely people! If you check my profile, there's a link to a youtube account. Yes, I began to make videos and I have three Blackinnon videos J There are a few for Moon Daughter (the fanfiction Francesca wrote) Also check out my wonderful beta's one shot about Bellatrix Black! It's called Ice and it's very well written. She also helps me with writing Bellatrix as she channels her especially well. Again thanks for reading! I'll be outlining and beginning to write Chapter 5 very soon. Probably this week! Love you all! Reviews are amazing and make my day, but I feel loved just from all the reads J