There was this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach every single time I saw Jack, which was practically all the time. After about a month, he and Emelia were still staying with us, not that it was a nuisance or anything. It just happened to become a daily part of my life now, and I couldn't have been happier. Neither could my father, who seemed to like Jack and Emelia a bit more than he liked me, but he was happy; a smile lit up his features just like they did when Mum was still alive. There was nothing I would have changed.
Jack, Emelia and I grew closer. It started out as making breakfast and dinner together, but then it blossomed into something more. One day, I stopped myself in my tracks when I tried to remember what it was like to not have them in the house. It struck me as odd, because it had only been a couple of weeks! Emelia was sweet, and Jack was severely protective of her. We would play games after the chores were done, and my father would watch us, laughing. I persuaded them to step foot in the market one day when I had to take a trip over there to trade some of our foodstuffs. Their eyes lit up when they saw all the stands and people and life. They had a blast.
But… things started changing. I think they started to change when I took Jack horse riding. But then again, everything was jumbled up, it could have started sooner.
Anyways, it was… interesting, to say the least. Jack had no idea what he was doing, but he was a natural when he got going. In about three days, he was challenging me to races whenever we had time, and Emelia would be the judge of who would win. He was a good rider, but I was just a bit better. It made him frustrated, me winning by a quarter of an inch every time, and it was worth it.
But… there was something about that, riding horses. It was as if it was our escape. Something only him and I could do together, and no one could take that away from us. It brought us closer together.
The way Jack looked while seated on top of a horse was breath-taking. He looked like he was in his element, as if he belonged there, as if there was nothing anyone could do get him off against his own will.
And then, one day, I found out that Jack pushed his mattress up against mine. I blinked at the sight for a second, but I didn't object; it seemed stupid to have two beds separated in one room anyways. I thought it would be okay, but I really didn't think about how close we would be when we actually settled down for sleep. Jack didn't mention anything when he just curled up in his blanket and fell asleep, his toes brushing up against my leg and his slow, deep breathing resounding in my head. I closed my eyes tightly and forced myself to fall asleep before my thoughts could delve me into a new world.
It was about a week after that we started waking up in each other's arms. It wasn't awkward… it was the true definition of elation. I would wake up to pressure on my waist and something that felt like my pillow pushed against my chest. But when I opened my eyes, it would be Jack. Every time we woke up like this, I couldn't help but smile. Then I would wake him up and he would mutter random words until is feet hit the floor.
I guess everything started to really change when Jack kissed me. Well, it didn't really constitute as a real kiss but… Well, one morning, I was tired, and I really didn't feel like waking up, so I faked being asleep. And Jack woke up. He hummed, and the rumble in his chest made me smile, but I bit my smile back. I pretended to sleep for a bit longer, and then I felt it: something pressed up against the top of my head. It took me a while to realize that the something was his lips. He had kissed me on the top of my head.
Before I could react, he rolled off the bed and pulled my blanket away.
"Henry… come on! Wake up!" He said, a little hushed. I groaned, but got up, my cheeks flushed and I could barely meet his eyes.
Chores were awkward that day. I didn't talk all that much, and I didn't sing along to most of the songs we usually would sing. I was fighting with myself. I didn't know whether or not I was exaggerating, or if I really did feel something for Jack. It was seriously confusing, and Jack didn't point anything out until after we were putting the horses in their stalls after a ride.
"Are you alright?" He asked me. I looked at him.
"Yes… yes, I am okay. Why?" I responded.
"Well, you have been acting a bit weird all day." Jack pointed out. "Is there something on your mind, or do you not feel alright, or…?"
"I've just had a bit on my mind, that's all." I dismissed, trying to walk away, but he grabbed me by the shoulder lightly, and made me face him. His eyes were tragic, and he looked scared, but worried as well.
"You know you can tell me, right?" He asked me, and the note of worry in his voice broke me.
"You… you kissed me… this morning." I said, not being able to meet his eyes. His hand fell off my shoulder and swung at his side as he took a half-step backwards. The look of shock on his face made me want to scream.
"I-I thought you were asleep…" Jack said, shaking his head. "Look, Henry… I am really sorry. I-I didn't know what I was thinking and it was nothing, I swear! But… I guess I'll just tell Emelia that we have to-" He didn't need to finish that sentence, because I knew that he was going to suggest that they leave.
"No!" I protested. "No, not like that! Please don't leave! I do not want you to leave!" The desperation that saturated my words made me want to vomit.
"What?" Jack said, baffled.
"I've been trying to figure out how I felt about it." I said, honestly. "And I think I've finally figured it out."
"Really?" Jack asked.
"Yeah," I said, taking a leap of faith. I stepped closer to him and grabbed his face gently. Then I brushed my lips against his. It was brief, and before Jack could react to anything, I moved away. His eyes were wide, and he looked shocked. I bit the inside of my lip, nervous about everything at this point.
Jack smiled, wide and genuine and heart-warming. He cupped my cheek with his hand, kissed my forehead and nuzzled our noses together. I closed my eyes, smiling so hard my face had started to hurt. Then he brushed our lips together again, the feeling so faint that I barely felt it, but then again, the sensation made my knees go weak. He placed his free hand on my hip and pressed our foreheads together, our breath mingling together.
"We should go back inside," He suggested a bit breathlessly.
"I would rather stay out here for the rest of my life," I breathed. We both convulsed into a laughing fit before he basically dragged me back inside the house.
We acted like nothing was out of the ordinary and that nothing had happened, for the sake of Emelia and my father. What would they think? Would Father throw them out if he knew?
Jack and I lay just a bit closer together that night, smiles lazily on our faces and arms wrapped tightly around one another in pure bliss.
Slight infatuation turned into like, like turned into love, and love turned into love-making, and I couldn't have asked for anything better; no amount of riches could ever amount that look in Jack's eyes afterwards.
Love was a cruel and bizarre thing. No one had any control over it at all, and over time, it only grew stronger. Jack and I were practically inseparable. There was no reason for me to be worried about what my father had thought about our unconventional relationship; he caught us kissing in the barn one day and all he did was laugh, saying that he knew it all along but he wasn't going to say anything. Jack and I smiled widely that day, and by the time it was nightfall, our cheeks were hurting like mad.
There's another curious thing: life. Right when everything seems to be falling into place, it changes directions, ruining practically everything you have ever known, and sometimes, changing yourself in the process.
And that was exactly what had happened when the Great War started. My life was forever changed when they called for a draft.
I was drafted almost immediately; I was young, well-abled, and strong. Yes, I was a little small, especially for my age, but I was smart and I could master almost any skill they could throw at me in a couple of hours, a day at most. I was issued a uniform, a rifle, and a canteen. I was shipped off in a fleet moments later, unable to say goodbye to anyone, not even to Jack, who was expecting me home from the market any minute now.
From there, I went to a training camp. They taught me everything I needed to know, day in and day out with drills, obstacles, and insane things they kept making us do. At the end of everything, I could load a gun and shoot a target accurately from about a mile away. I was the best trainee there was, throwing myself into anything and everything with a vengeance. I just imagined Jack, and Emelia, and Father, waiting at home for me, and I thought that if I was going to be thrown into this war, I better not be completely defenseless. If I was going into this, I better be coming out of it.
They assured me that they would inform my father that I have been deployed after they took me, and I prayed that they had some common sense and that they would hide Jack and Emma for a few days, maybe months, depending how long the draft lasted. They also assured me that we would be home soon enough, and I believed them. I had to believe them. It was my only hope.