Chapter Four: The New Year

"I can't believe I leave tomorrow." Jude sighed as she stood before Sadie in her dressing room. She had just performed her last song of the New Years Eve bash and it sunk in that at 5am she'd be catching a flight to the states and leaving behind all she's known of life. She wouldn't just be missing the obvious fiancé, but leaving behind her best friends and family was adding to the saddened realization. She always had someone to fall back on, but on tour it was just her. Sure she had Spiederman, but he hadn't known her in and outs like those at home. Sure she'd keep in touch over the phone, but it was not the same as the reassuring kisses and warm savior arms she had at home.

"I'm so proud of you sis. You really grew up so much in a year. It's crazy." Sadie rested her arm on Jude's shoulder, "You're gonna do amazing on the road. I'm so jealous of how much you'll get to experience. It's so exciting Jude!"

Although Sadie was right, it's exciting, it was also completely nerve wrecking, "I'm a mess. What if every thing changes while I'm gone?"

"Is this about Tom?" Sadie questioned as she crossed her arms.

"No Sadie, it's about everyone and everything here." Jude sighed as she sat down on to a red leather couch, "A lot can happen in 3 months, not just to Tom, but you or even Jamie and Kat. Everything can just change or disappear and I'll come back and be the last to know. What if I come back and everyone forgot about me?"

Sadie laughed as she sat beside Jude, "You're gonna be all over the TV and magazines. I find it very hard for any of us to forget you." Jude rolled her eyes causing Sadie to turn more serious, "Jude honestly, all your friends and all of our family love and care about you. No one, including Tom, could ever forget about you. You are seriously going crazy sis."

Jude let out a more relaxed breath taking in her sister's words, "I suppose."

"Don't be so difficult Jude. You're turning tour into prison instead of an amazing experience people would kill for. Relax and enjoy the ride for once."

As Jude was preparing to enter into the New Years party to celebrate with fans and friends, Kwest and Tom were sitting at the V.I.P. lounge's bar chatting over whiskies on the rocks.

"You know I'll be here for you the whole time she's gone man. I won't let you fall into any of those bad habits again." Kwest chuckled as he nudged the obviously depressed man beside him.

"I would never hurt Jude like that again." Tom insisted feeling aggravated his best friend would even joke, "I'm just gonna miss her so much Kwest. I'm so used to every part of her being with me. Her scent is all over my house, in every sheet, in every cushion, in all my clothes. I'm afraid to wash anything I don't want to let that go."

Kwest sunk further into his seat and sighed as he patted Tom's back, "T, this is the furthest thing from permanent. She'll be back in no time taking up all your time and space in your bed. Every relationship goes through their rough patches and I'd say this is not even one of the worst you two have been through."

"I know man, I know. I just worry she'll find something, maybe someone out there that's better for her than me and the future we planned together." Tom took another swallow of his drink and turned to Kwest ready to spill the news to him, "Kwest man, I'm scared she's going to realize she doesn't want to spend forever with me. I'm scared she'll send me back the ring in the mail without any explanation."

Kwest's jaw dropped as he tilted his head, "The ring?" Tom nodded his head to let him know what was on his mind, "You proposed?"

Tom finished off his whiskey, "Yeah on her birthday."

"Man she's eighteen!"

"There's no one else in this world that could ever get me like she does. Jude is my world honestly Kwest and I can't go back to my life before her. I can't lose her man." Tom rested his head in his palms to stress his breaking heart, "I don't know what I'm gonna do when she realizes I'm not good enough."

"T you're good enough don't say that. She loves you more than anything. You've changed so much for her we all noticed. Do I think this engagement was rushed? Maybe, but I know it's coming from a real place. I know you two are in love so I'm here to support it. Just don't let your thoughts get to you because I guarantee the demons in your head are the only enemy, the only threat." Kwest tried stressing how important it was to be mentally stable through the tour.

"I'm trying my best." Tommy groaned as he let his hands fall and his body swing to the side on his chair. He stood up and walked away solemnly not wanting to talk about it anymore.

Jude had just entered the longue and noticed how quickly Tom walked from Kwest looking frustrated. She headed for him as he made his way into the bathroom. Pushing open the door she saw Tom hunched over the sink with his head in his hands. She lightly guided her hand down his back causing him to stand straight. When he realized it was Jude he tried to press a fake smile to his lips, "Someone's in the wrong bathroom."

"Don't play games Tommy. What's wrong?" Jude could tell there was something seriously going on, she wasn't fooled by his act.

"Nothing babe," He tried reassuring, but when Jude crossed her arms and huffed he knew there was no lying. "It's just I'm gonna miss you so much Jude. You're leaving in 6 hours, I don't know how to deal."

Jude's anger filled face flushed as she went to grab Tom's hand. She felt the sadness creep in again, "Tommy you know I'm gonna miss you too."

"Not as much as I will." He remarked, as he looked down to their intertwined hands, "Not as much." He whispered again while bowing his head.

She then took her hand from his to pick up his chin, "Please tell me we can get through this."

"We can. We can get through anything." Tom placed a hand in her hair to pull her face closer, "It's just gonna be brutal without you here. You're my light Jude, you are everything to me." Jude's eyes lit up, his love confessions were always her favorite. "If you left me Jude, I'd miss you forever."

Her lips grazed against his softly and she rested her forehead to his after parting, "No need to miss me forever when you have me forever Quincy. You stole my heart a year ago and I'm not interested in ever getting it back. You banged it up a few times." They both playfully laughed at their long forgiven and forgotten rough beginnings, "But you sure knew how to heal it and keep it safe." She kissed his lips again lightly, "We got this okay?"

"Okay." He whispered, "Okay." Their lips met again, this time more intensely as their tongues ravished one another's mouth.

A throat cleared from the entrance of the bathroom and the couple jumped apart, "If it isn't my two favorite love birds."

Jude laughed as she rolled her eyes and Tom shook his head, "Man Chaz haven't seen you in awhile.'

Chaz nodded and walked towards the pair with his hands shoved in his pockets, "Our dear little Jude has taken up all your time T, it's not my fault."

"Sorry Chaz, he's all yours the next few months." Jude smiled hoping Tom would reconnect with his friends before the wedding.

"So I hear. Have fun on tour I'll keep Tommy here safe." Chaz chuckled as he patted Tom on the back, "I'll keep his leash on."

"HA HA HA very funny Chaz." Tom spoke sarcastically, "I'll be a good boy babe." He turned soft as he pecked Jude's forehead with a kiss.

"I think I threw up, but I actually came to find you two." Chaz looked at the pair, "Word on the street is you two crazy kids are getting hitched."

Jude's jaw dropped and Tom's fists tightened, "Where'd you hear that?"

"First I must say I'm sad you wouldn't inform me first, we've been friends for years." Chaz joked around before becoming serious again, "I heard Kwest and your sister," facing Jude, "talking about it."

"They better keep quiet." Jude huffed walking out of the bathroom leaving Chaz and Tom to talk.

"She's feisty." Chaz commented as he watched the bathroom door slam.

Tom just smiled wide, "Yeah it's cute."

"Damn Tom, you are really into her. It's fucking crazy." Chaz faced Tom again, "I never thought you'd settle down."

"She's special." Tom spoke with adoration, "She's my fiancé. It's crazy."

"Congratulations my man. You're a lucky guy. Caught yourself a good girl and she's not a total bitch." Chaz patted Tom on the back before both deciding to exit the bathroom.

It was nearing midnight and Jude took the stage with Tommy and Darius for the ball drop. She took the microphone and looked out to the crowd, "Thank you guys for all sharing this moment with me. It's gonna be an amazing New Year starting off with touring and I hope every single one of you make this year better than the rest." The crowd was clapping and going crazy, "I'd be nothing without my fans. Thank you guys for everything." Tom rested his hand on Jude's back as the count down began, "5, 4, 3, 2, 1!" Everybody shouted as the ceiling released confetti and music played throughout the club. There was screaming all around but all that mattered was Jude's New Years kiss with her fiancé. The whole world disappeared, as they got lost in each other's lips. Whistling and awes were coming from the crowd causing them to pull apart chuckling with red embarrassed cheeks, "Happy New Year everyone!"

It was 3:30 am and Jude was sitting in Tom's passenger seat on her way to meet the tour crew at the airport. They had only left the club at 2am and didn't try to shut their eyes once. They spent an hour and half ravishing each other, trying to remember every curve and every kiss because this would be the last intimacy for a little awhile. They reached the airport and solemnly got out of the car. Tom headed for the trunk to pull out Jude's luggage. After loading it on to a cart they made their way for the terminal. Jude saw Spiederman waving excitedly next to a very tall man who had been Liam. There were two girls from wardrobe and make-up chatting beside the pair. Everybody seemed eager and ready to go, except for Jude. Before heading to the group Jude faced Tommy and all she had to do was look at the gloominess spread over his face and the tears began to fall.

"Just come." Jude whispered between tears.

Tom shook his head as his eyes began to water, "I refuse to hold you back Jude. I would hate myself forever if I ever did anything to smother you or not let you grow to your full potential." The liquid began falling down his face as Jude's used her thumb to wipe it away, "You need to do this babe, on your own. I'll be right here at home waiting for you."

Jude's breathing became sporadic and heavy, "I love you so much Tommy Quincy. I will call you every day. I need to hear your voice to sleep." She fell into his arms and his hands played with her hair.

"I love you too baby girl." He pushed her back to catch her lips. She wished she could hold on to this moment forever. Tom even found a way to make a goodbye beautiful. When their lips parted he wiped the tears from under his eyes, "Go kick ass on tour girl, like you were meant to."

Jude nodded her head, "See you later Quincy." She refused to ever actually say the words goodbye.

Jude began to walk away and Tom stared at her back as she closed in on her tour groups. Everyone was hugging and smiling and Tom stood there with the most tortured face. His heart was heavy, he knew this time apart would be rough, but it needed to be done. He knew this would be their final test before the big day to prove it was meant to be. When he watched the group walk to the gates he finally started to turn. He had walked barely a minute before a body came crashing into his back. He turned around quickly and a smile spread across his lips when it had been Jude with wide eyes grinning. She closed in on him and jumped into his arms as they began to kiss. He spun her around as the kiss continued until he stood her back on the ground. Tom held her face and their noses collided gently, "I'll call you as soon as I land."

"I'm looking forward to it." He hushed against her lips.

Then they heard a whistle, "He Jude, I know it's hard saying bye to lord Squinty frown but this plane is gonna head out!"

The couple just laughed, "Coming Spied." She turned to Tom and kissed him one last time before walking away. Just the fact she had made the effort to come back and kiss him one more time had literally made his day. He felt confident again. As he watched Jude enter the gate he waved timidly with a small smile at her and she returned the favor. All that was on his mind was marrying her as soon as she was back because although he realized before it hit him even harder today that he could not spend his life without her.