Title: Truth Love Dare
Category: TV Shows » Rizzoli & Isles
Author: Alwaysbringback-up
Language: English, Rating: Rated: M
Genre: Drama/Angst/Friendship
Truth Love Dare
Pairing: Jane/Maura
Disclaimer: I don't own any part of the R&I universe. All characters belong to Janet Tamaro. I promise that my writing is done purely for recreational purposes only. No ill harm is intended.
A/N: I am continuously blown away by the response that this story has gotten. I wholeheartedly appreciate all of your reviews. And were I a better author, I would respond to all of them personally. I promise that I will make a better effort in regards to that, but I want you all to know that I read all the reviews, and take constructive criticism happily!
This chapter turned out to be a bit of a beast. It's long, mainly because I didn't want to keep leaving you with dramatic cliffhangers. I hope that you enjoy this chapter!
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For a moment, Maura couldn't move. Her heartbeat was thundering deafeningly in her ears, drowning out all other noise. Blood was in Jane's airways. Maura knew what that meant. It meant that the bullet had hit one Jane's major organs and that her friend could very well suffocate and choke on her own blood if the ambulance didn't get there soon. For now, Maura had to take matters into her own hands, and do something to help Jane breathe a little better. Maura, once she got over the shock of it all, jumped into action, shouting at Frankie to roll Jane on her side so that the brunette could breathe. Unfortunately it made it impossible for Maura to apply pressure.
Maura felt faint as a fresh gush of blood bubbled its way up past her fingers. It was starting to pool on the concrete beneath Jane, and Maura knew that there was a good chance that Jane was going to bleed to death on the sidewalk. Jane's breathing was already weak and shallow, and her rasps were growing further and further apart. Maura needed to know the bullets trajectory through Jane's body if she were going to guess which organs might have been hit.
"Oh god. I… I have to check and see if there's an exit wound," Maura breathed. "Frankie, I need you to hold her still! This is going to hurt her like hell."
Jane didn't have time to prepare herself before Maura carefully slipped her hands underneath Jane's sweater and tugged up the fabric, revealing Jane's back. Maura frantically searched for an exit wound, though it was hard to see through all the blood, and found one below Jane's left shoulder blade on the left hand side. Maura didn't know whether to feel panic or relief. Next, Maura ran her hand over the edge of Jane's ribcage, hoping to get a feel of where the bullet had cut through. The path of the bullet through Jane's body had been at a steep angle, which meant that the bullet had cut a long way through Jane's body, and probably had caused a lot of damage.
Jane, who was overcome by the pain, passed out somewhere in the middle of Maura's movements, when it finally became too much for her and her body to handle. Her body convulsed violently as her clothes sucked in ice cold water from the street below, making her feel as if she were freezing to death. It also didn't help that Jane was also losing copious amounts of blood, which was enough to lower her body temperature.
Maura knew that she had to remedy it immediately, or Jane could slip away from her for good. And so Maura shook her friend gently. And when that didn't work? She brushed her the back of her hand gently against the brunette's cheek, while speaking Jane's name. It seemed like an eternity passed and nothing changed.
"Jane," Maura was pretty close to hysterical now. "Jane, wake up. Jane, Please… I need you. I need you. Please, Jane." Maura jumped as Jane let out a deep guttural groan and her eyes flickered open. Maura pushed down on the entry wound and Jane thrashed on the concrete. It was a hell of a way to be reintroduced to the world.
Maura held her down, but the brunette was stronger than her and nearly overpowered her. Thankfully, Frankie tightened his grip on Jane's body. Jane finally stopped fighting Maura's touches, and she sank back down. Her eyes closed briefly, and after a long moment, opened again. Jane started coughing, and Maura jumped back as the brunette's mouth opened and blood gurgled up and past her lips. Jane's chest shot off the ground a ways as the detective desperately tried to clear her mouth of the obstruction.
"Maur?" Jane's voice sounded grated. "Am I dying?" Maura remained mute. Knowing it would be impossible for her to lie to Jane. "Maur…"
"It's going to be okay, Janie," Frankie murmured, hoping that he sounded like he meant it. He knew that the blonde M.E. couldn't lie, and had seen the panic in Maura's eyes as she struggled with the answer to Jane's question
'Please, god. Don't let her die,' Frankie pleaded
"Help is coming!"
"Where in the hell is the ambulance?!" Maura nearly shouted. Jane was still in a semi-conscious state. She was awake, but couldn't seem to voice any of the things she was feeling. Jane let out another groan, her eyes closing. For a moment, Jane surrendered to darkness, but Maura didn't let her get so far this time. The medical examiner pulled her right back into the light.
"Jane, stay with me, okay?" Maura said as calmly as she could manage. "I need you to stay with me," Maura pleaded. She wasn't above groveling if she needed to. "Stay with me. D-Don't leave me." Maura's voice was broken, and her words were almost indistinguishable, but from the tone, Jane got the overall picture. Jane choked on her next breath and had to endure another coughing fit. As her chest moved, she felt the pain sharpen, worsen.
"You're going to make it," Maura interrupted determinedly. "You're going to be fine, Jane. Everything is going to be okay…" Maura could feel a heat overtake her body, as a rash erupted on her skin. She willed herself to believe what she said. Maybe if she believed it strongly enough, she could get past the lie. 'It has to be true,' Maura thought. Maura held her breath. She could hear the siren of the ambulance growing closer, but as she saw the lights go out in Jane eyes she wasn't sure if her friend was going to be able to hang in there until the ambulance arrived.
Maura couldn't breathe; she couldn't do anything as the brunette stopped breathing. Jane's eyes were open and unblinking for a long moment, and Maura's hand darted to her friend's neck to check for a pulse. Maura strained, every bit of her was striving, yearning for a beat of Jane's heart. But she felt nothing.
Maura quickly rolled Jane onto her back again as Jane's blood pressure bottomed out. Maura finally realized that the bullet had hit Jane's spleen, and that the detective had likely lost two liters of blood because of it.
"She's not breathing!" Maura shouted. Frankie heard the sharp intake of breaths, the gasps coming from Frost and Korsak. Without meaning to, Maura's eyes found those of Jane's brother. She knew that he, like her, was being forced to grapple with the possibility he was going to lose his sister. She silently wondered if he'd ever forgive her for letting that happen. "Frankie!" Maura's cry had him shaking his head quickly and looking to her for the next course of action.
"What do we do?" Frankie breathed.
Frankie, I know this must be hard for you," Maura breathed sympathetically. The lord only knew how difficult it was for her to think at all. "But we need to do CPR. I…I need you to help me. You're going to have to breathe for her." She said the next part slowly. "I really need to know if you can do this, Frankie. Because I need your help. I need you to do this." Frankie nodded. He quickly swiveled on his knees. Frankie gently tipped Jane's jaw forward, opening up her airways. "Okay. For every five compressions that I give her, you're going to breathe into her mouth. Pinch her nose. Make sure you give her as much air as possible."
"Okay."
Frankie tried not to wince as Maura pushed down hard over Jane's chest. Forcing more of her body weight over Jane as she pushed. Frankie could hear the crack of Jane's ribs and cartilage under Maura's hands, and he felt it as fully as if he were doing it himself. He couldn't imagine what was going through Maura's mind. "Frankie!" Once again, the sound of his name brought him back. Quickly he darted down, taking a deep breath as he did so. He pinched Jane's nose shut, placed his mouth over hers and forced himself to exhale as quickly as he could.
He leaned back again as Maura started compressions, counting aloud as she forced her hands down on Jane's chest. Maura could feel ribs and cartilage crack under the exertion as she counted to five.
"One. Two. Three. Four. Five," Maura counted aloud, and this time Frankie was ready. They fell into a rhythm rather quickly. There was hardly a single pause between the compressions and the breathing. Frankie hadn't even realized but Vince Korsak had dropped down on Maura's other side, trying to maintain pressure over Jane's wound. Other officers were forcing everyone else to evacuate the area.
Frankie's eyes found two men clad in blue sprinting towards them. He hadn't even heard the sirens growing near. But he was grateful. He was grateful that someone else was finally there to help.
"Paramedics are here!"
Maura's head whirled around to confirm it for herself, although, she didn't stop her compressions.
"You hear that, Jane? They're here for you," he whispered softly in Jane's ear, his voice was surprisingly calm and soothing. "They're here to help. Everything is going to be okay now. Just hang on. Please. Just hang on a little longer. You're strong. You can do this. I know it. Fight it, Jane. Just fight it. We won't leave you."
Frankie moved back as the paramedics reached them. He knew that they could help Maura far more than he ever could. He stared, watching everything seemingly happen in slow motion. He watched as they rolled her over and slipped her onto a backboard. He watched as they lifted her onto a gurney. A third man had rushed over. They strapped her on, and one of the paramedics applied pressure as they sprinted for the ambulance waiting 20 yards away.
Maura was only a few steps behind them. Frankie followed.
No one contested their pleas to go with. Frankie knew that Maura wouldn't be able to let Jane out of her sight.
He locked eyes with Maura, his gaze grateful, as she held out her hand and pulled him in after her. In a mere second, the doors were slamming shut behind them. Both Frankie and Maura were forced to latch onto something as the Ambulance suddenly accelerated, tires catching on the pavement.
The next several minutes passed in a blur. Maura counted the seconds, watching as they shocked Jane several times, trying to get her heart started again.
"I've got her!" One of the paramedics called out as Jane's chest shot up, and her nostrils flared. "I've got sinus rhythm!"
Frankie hadn't even realized he had been holding his breath until he gasped. He saw Jane's eyes flicker open in confusion. The paramedics were talking to her, trying to tell her what was going on as they started and I.V. and started pumping her full of fluids and drugs as they tried to keep her alive. They hung a bag of O-, and tried to offset the severe blood loss as they packed the wound to the best of their ability.
It was touch and go, the entire way to the hospital. Jane flat-lined twice, but they were fortunate enough to get her back both times.
And at the precise moment that they screeched to a halt in the ambulance bay, the doors were already being wrenched open. Maura forced herself to keep out of the way, melding herself to the small space against the wall.
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By the time that she and Frankie made it inside, Jane was being wheeled inside a trauma room. Maura tried to follow, but was stopped.
"I'm sorry, miss, but you can't go in there," she spoke as she put two hands on Maura's shoulders. Maura swallowed and nodded, not sure if she could trust her voice. "It's medical staff only."
From outside the trauma room, Maura and Frankie watched as several nurses and doctors rushed into the trauma room. They were effectively shut out, however, when one of the nurses pulled at the blinds, hiding Jane and the commotion inside from prying eyes.
As Maura's shoulder started to quake with suppressed sobs, Frankie pulled Maura to him, and wrapped his arms around her.
"Shhh," he soothed for a long minute, just holding her. "She's going to be okay, Maura," he tried to reassure her. Maura just shook her head in denial.
"You saved her life," he asserted. "You gave her a chance, which is more than what I can say for myself. If it had been up to me? I would have froze."
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Maura and Frankie jump as the trauma room door flies open. Two people rush down the hall with Jane, and Maura rushes forwards to intercept one of the doctors, hoping that they will at least tell her what is going on.
"What's happening?" Maura asks as she manages to pull a doctor aside. Holding onto his arm tightly in hers. He looks torn, and Maura can tell that he's not sure how much to tell her.
"I'm a doctor," Maura says finally, easing his reservations, "Be straight with me."
"The first bullet perforated her stomach, and lacerated her spleen," the man in a white coat speaks. "We need to do surgery." One of the trauma doctors adds, "She also had a collapsed lung. We put in a chest tube, and were able to re-inflate her lung, but there could be more damage! We won't know for sure until we open her up." Maura nods.
"Just save her, please!" Maura begs.
"I'll be out to give you an update as soon as I can," Dr. Rhodes promises.
Maura looks into the trauma room they just vacated and has to swallow hard as she sees the blood all over the floor. She realizes that it is probably from where they inserted the chest tube, but it's still too much for her to stomach.
"Susie!" he calls out, and a nurse rushes over. "Help this woman get cleaned up, will you? Thanks!" It is then and only then that Maura looks down at her hands. They are covered in blood, as is the rest of her. Her knees are covered in red sticky crimson. Her shoes are ruined. Her dress is ruined. Everything is ruined. Maura struggles not to cry.
Maura watches as Dr. Rhodes sprints down the hall and out of sight.
She vaguely feels the nurse lead her down the hall and into a private washroom.
"I'll get you a pair of scrubs to change into," she promises, leaving Maura by herself to wash the blood off of her hands and body. Maura scrubs at the blood on her body in a sort of daze.
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Jane is wheeled into a room with blinding lights. People are rushing around, bumping into one another, and it's so ridiculous to Jane that it's almost comical. Jane starts playing calliope music in her head as if it's the perfect soundtrack to the chaos around her.
A man with crinkles at the corner of his eyes looks down at her from above. He's speaking, but Jane hears no sound. And she can't read his lips because they're covered by a surgeon's mask. Then it finally dawns on her, as they start strapping her down to the table. They're about to cut her open.
Before Jane has much of a chance to dwell on this fact, her eyes are suddenly heavy, and blackness descends. Jane plunges into it thinking that this might be the last thing she ever sees.
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For the next six days Maura refused to leave Jane's side. Because of the doctor's impeccable work, Jane had made it through surgery, but only just. From what she'd understood, Jane had literally escaped within a millimeter or two with her life and had sustained severe internal injuries that took several surgeries to rectify. The first bullet had caused the most damage, by far. It had perforated Jane's stomach, hit Jane's spleen and had caused significant internal bleeding. Jane had also suffered a collapsed lung
Maura stayed with her at her bedside and held her hand. The blonde woman lost count of how many times she'd told Jane that she loved her. It was like a mantra, something she repeated over and over again, as the M.E. hoped it would motivate Jane to come back to her. She begged for that as well. She begged Jane not to leave her by herself because she wasn't sure if she could live without her.
Jane was in a medically induced coma for a while, to help with the pain from the gunshot wound. But the coma was also to help with healing from the numerous surgeries Jane was forced to undergo as a direct consequence. Only, when they finally took Jane off the sedation, and eased her off of the breathing tube, they were shocked to see no progress. Jane never woke. And the doctors she talked to told Maura that they feared Jane had suffered brain damage due to a lack of oxygen reaching her brain for an extended amount of time.
Maura shifted in her chair, groaning at the soreness in her shoulders, and lower back. Hospital chairs really weren't built with comfort in mind, she'd quickly realized. She swallowed as her eyes flitted to the clock. Another twelve hours had ticked by. Maura reached up to rub the back of her neck with her free hand. The other grasped Jane's hand gently in hers. Maura would not let go. She would not give up on Jane. Jane was the strongest person she'd ever had the privilege of knowing. And Maura knew that the brunette would not give up easily. The fact that Jane was still there was a testament to that.
Maura jumped slightly as the door opened and light flooded into the room from the hallway. Maura spared the visitor a look and focused her attention back onto Jane. Maura let out a sigh as the older woman sat down next to her and reached out to touch Maura's shoulder. Maura squeezed her hazel eyes shut. She suddenly found it very difficult to breathe as the blonde turned to face the woman she loved like a mother.
Maura knew how difficult the last week had been for Angela Rizzoli.
Maura let out another strained breath as she looked back to Jane. Jane looked so peaceful. Not a single line marred her beautiful features in sleep. Maura was used to seeing Jane as the headstrong, determined, but compassionate individual she was. The fact is, Jane rarely ever rested. She worked each case as if she were her last. And Maura had grown to love and respect her for that very unique ability she possessed.
Maura knew from the moment she'd met the detective that she was remarkable.
She hated how small Jane looked in the massive hospital bed, hooked up to countless wires and tubes. This wasn't where Jane belonged.
"You should get some rest, Maura," Angela Rizzoli suggested in a soft whisper. Maura met the woman's eyes sadly. "Do you really think that I haven't noticed? You haven't left here, you haven't slept, and you haven't eaten in nearly two days now. Jane wouldn't want you to do this to yourself." Maura merely shook her head. She didn't trust her voice at the moment. Silence built between them as they sat side by side for a long minute. Both seemed to respect one another, and both understood each other's feelings for Jane.
"I'm sorry," Maura finally spoke into the silence between them. She nearly broke out in a fresh bout of tears, and her throat closed up on her all over again. She'd been struggling to say those words to Jane's mother since the moment Jane had gotten shot. Only saying those words was a hard thing to do when she knew what it meant. It meant that she had failed Jane. It meant that harm had come to her and she had been unable to stop it. Again.
"You know it's not your fault, Maura," Angela said softly. "And Jane wouldn't want you to do this."
"I wish it had been me," Maura whispered sincerely, and it broke Angela's heart. But it was true. Maura hadn't stopped wishing for that fact since it happened. "I really do."
"No," Angela shook her head. "I know you love her, but Janie would never want to hear that coming from you. She loves you. She'd do anything to protect you. I…I think she's already proven that."
"I do love her," Maura's voice broke. "So much."
"Then go home, Maura," she ordered softly. "For Jane, please. Take a shower, eat something, get some rest, and then come back tomorrow. Janie will still be here. She's not going to go anywhere, sweetheart." She held Maura's eyes in a sort of challenge. Maura let out a soft sigh of resignation and reluctantly released Jane's hand. After all, she could not deny the woman she considered to be her mother.
Maura's hand froze on the door handle when Angela's scratchy voice filled the room. "Maura?" Maura turned around slowly to see that Angela was still watching him. "I know that I can't make you stop blaming yourself for what happened, but you have to know somewhere in that head of yours that it's not really your fault. And if you really can't believe me, then think about something else. Jane never would have made it this far without you." Maura opened her mouth to protest, but Angela seemed to be reading her mind because she cut Maura off before she could even begin. "Don't argue with me." Maura nodded, opened the door, and left.
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Jane awoke to a loud, but steady beeping. The only light source located in the room she was in came from the monitors beside her bed. Wires and tubes ran to and from her body in a tangled mess. Jane kept her eyes closed for a long moment, letting her mind become reacquainted to her surroundings. She felt the gentlest of touches to her face. Someone was running his or her fingers across the right side of her face and through her hair. Jane couldn't help but moan softly. It felt really good. Whoever it was that had been touching her retracted their hands, and Jane moaned again as she mourned for the loss of contact. Slowly, her eyes fluttered open to meet those of an inquisitive, beautiful, honey-brunette.
"Jane?" Maura's gentle, sympathetic voice spoke in a near whisper. "Oh thank god, you're awake." Jane opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. She was about to try again, but didn't make it that far before the pain in her body roared its angry head like a lion. Jane's breath hitched in her throat and time seemed to stop itself. Jane rolled her head from side to side as the pain hit her like a brick wall. It was hell all over again. Going through the pain of getting shot once was enough. Going through it twice was just not fair. Jane's eyes widened as she struggled to breathe.
Maura's hand quickly went back to stroking her hair, and Jane suddenly felt Maura's other hand grasping hers. Jane cried out, tears filling her eyes. God, it hurt. It hurt so much.
"I know," Maura's voice soothed, "I know it hurts, Jane, but you have to breathe." A pause. "Come on, Jane. Squeeze my hand. It's okay. I can take it." Jane channeled all of her pain into her grip on Maura's hand. It seemed to help a little. "Good," Maura breathed, "That's good, Jane. Okay. Breathe with me now. In. Out." Jane tried mimicking Maura's breaths and slowly she regained her even breathing.
"Ugh," Jane groaned as she squeezed her eyes shut. She focused her attention on Maura's fingers in her hair. It felt so good that it almost made up for everything else. "It hurts," Jane whined softly.
"I know," Maura agreed. "That's why you have to stop doing this."
"You make it sound like I did it on purpose," Jane replied sheepishly.
"Don't be ridiculous," Maura replied calmly. Jane let out another groan. "I just…"
"Is that my Janie?" Angela Rizzoli's scratchy voice had Jane looking to her left. Angela Rizzoli, who had been curled up in the chair asleep, was now wide-awake.
"Yes," Maura replied, "She's awake, Mrs. Rizzoli."
Jane hadn't even realized her mother was there. But sure enough, Angela Rizzoli made her presence known as she threw back the blankets and stood up. Immediately, her mother started to fuss over her.
"Ma," Jane groaned. "Stop it. I don't need you to mother me for crying out loud. I'm a grown woman."
"How are you feeling?" Angela asked finally, as she looked over the monitors in the room.
"Like I've been shot," Jane choked out, "But I'm alive, so I guess that's got to count for something."
"That it does," Angela agreed. "You know, I should be angry at you for pulling something like this again. But I'm just so glad you're okay." Jane looked back to her friend. Her heart clenched painfully as her eyes fell on the gruesome gash located on Maura's forehead. It was bad enough that Maura had needed stitches. It looked bad enough to begin with, but the skin around it was raised and bruised, making it look even worse.
"Oh, Maur," Jane croaked, her hand squeezing Maura's. "You're hurt."
"It's nothing," Maura shook her head. "Just some minor scrapes and bruises."
"No it's not," Jane protested. "God, I'm so sorry." Maura was upset now.
"You're kidding me, right?" Maura spoke incredulously. "You were shot twice and still managed to save me. And now you want to blame yourself for a bump on my head?"
"It was my job to protect you, Maura," Jane swallowed thickly, feeling suddenly quite sick to her stomach at the thought of anything more happening to Maura. "And I failed… I screwed up."
"Jane, just stop it, okay? I really don't want to argue with you right now," Maura sighed, dropping Jane's hand. Jane frowned, sensing Maura's distress. "You know what? I'm sorry. I'm just really tired. I think I should just go… Now that I know you're going to be okay, I think I'm going to go home and clean up."
"Maura, wait!" Jane pleaded. "I'm sorry, okay? I…I didn't mean to upset you. Just stay with me for a while. Please!" Jane's voice cracked from disuse. She clearly did not want her friend to leave. But she'd clearly upset Maura already.
"I… I'll be back later," Maura promised, "You-You should really rest now." Maura's voice faltered as she said, "I'm glad that you're okay, Jane." Jane let out an exasperated sigh as Maura turned and walked from the room, leaving her alone with her mother.
Boy did she have a long week ahead of her.
A/N: Okay, so I still left some things up in the air, but at least I didn't leave someone's life in the balance! More to come soon! Please review!
I liked that things came full circle in this chapter. Jane saved Maura, and Maura saved Jane. :) That's love, folks!