Chapter Seven: Insecurities

Jude woke up in Tom's arms feeling better than ever. Last night's performance had been killer and only being half way through the week brought her much joy. Every second she spent back in his arms was another reason she knew they were meant to be. It was almost unhealthy how much they had missed each other. Jude began to drag her nails down Tom's chest lightly causing him to fidget under her touch.

"Tommy." She whispered as her fingers continued to dance on his skin. A loud groan released from his lips and she giggled, "Wake up silly."

Tom's eyes opened and as soon as he saw his fiancé's smile a wide grin played across his face, "Since when do you wake up before me Harrison?"

"Since I don't want to waste a moment we have left together." Jude poked his nose playfully before kissing his cheek.

"I agree to get up, but only if you take a shower with me." Tom wiggled his eyebrows at the end of his sentence causing Jude to nudge his shoulder, "Please babe."

Jude pulled herself from his arms standing up. She began to walk towards the bathroom of their suite. Before disappearing she turned back to Tom with her hands at the bottom of her oversized t-shirt, "What're you waiting for Quincy?" She teased as she discarded the shirt and slipped into the bathroom in only a pair of underwear. He eagerly jumped from bed and made his way to the bathroom quickly.

Later that day the couple was lying out by the pool soaking in the sun. Jude wore a large floppy white sun hat to shade her face accompanied by a large pair of circular sunglasses. Tom was relaxing beside her with a pair of aviators. Suddenly Jude stood to stretch and without warning Spiederman came up behind her, lifting her completely off the ground and throwing her into the pool. Tom sat alert whipping off his glasses watching Spied follow in behind her. They began to laugh and splash each other, which had made Quincy feel oddly uncomfortable. He watched the love of his life frolic in a pool smiling wide. It's not that he was necessarily worried about a romantic relationship between the pair, but it was more so watching her interact so playfully with another man. What if she had acted like this with other men who didn't know the boundaries? Who didn't know him? Seeing how happy it made her to joke around so freely with another man conflicted him. He wasn't sure if it was that simple underlying doubt that always toyed with his mind or if the fear was real. He tried shaking it as Jude pulled herself out of the water and trying to ring out her hat. She sat on the end of Tom's lounge chair and flicked water on him.

The cool water on his unsuspecting self caused an annoying groan to release and Jude tilted her head, "Don't be such a baby!"

"Forgive me for not playing childish games." Tom scoffed putting his aviators back on.

A deep frown settled on Jude's face and she scooted further up his chair. She placed a soft kiss on his cheek, "Don't be a Mr. Grumpy pants."

Normally her cute innocent words would bring a smile to his face, but it only reminded him more of how young she was. It made him wonder if she needed something he couldn't get back, a more youthful soul. "Jude not now, okay?" Part of him knew he was being irrational; his bad mood had appeared from practically nowhere. But the other half was justifying his actions.

She stood up crossing her arms with a huff, "Tom we're supposed to be enjoying this time together."

"You seem to be enjoying playing in the pool with my ex intern." Tom asserted as he swung his legs to sit up on the chair.

Jude rolled her eyes, "Aren't we passed jealousy of Spied?"

"Aren't you old enough to not play stupid games?" Tom asked irritated, how dare she say he was jealous?

Jude let out a frustrated laugh, "Sorry Tom for living a little and playing around. I wasn't going to freak on Spied for trying to have fun." She picked up her towel off of her own chair; "Stop acting like such an old man for once." Then she stormed off leaving Tommy completely dumb struck. Did it really escalate that fast? Some stupid fight over a nonsense pit in his stomach had led to her rushing away and calling him one thing he feared the most.

Tom finally showed up to the room that night completely belligerent. He had indulged his emotions into whiskey at the pool bar followed by the lobby bar. Jude shot out of her seat at the dining table where she had been sitting and worrying with Spiederman. She rushed over to Tom and could smell the liquor on his breath.

She laughed sarcastically, "Doesn't take Tom Quincy long to fall into old habits. Get into a fight and resolve it with booze! How mature of you Tommy?"

Spied went to stand up, "That's my cue to leave!"

But Tom was not having it. He brushed passed Jude with his finger pointing in aggression at Spiederman, "You! You are not leaving until you tell me what your obsession is with my fiancé!"

"What are you talking about?" Spied asked in confusion as he looked between Jude and Tom.

"You've been drooling over her since day one. You get her all to yourself on the tour bus. You guys drink together and the pool today? You two were practically on top of each other naked!" And so the insecurities were unleashed into the room as Tom's drunken state had his mind thinking illogically.

"You have no fucking clue what you are saying right now Tom." Spiederman said harshly as he walked towards him. Jude ran up to the pair but Spied through his hand up to warn her to step back, "Maybe if you were a better boyfriend you wouldn't be so insecure!"

Tom laughed in his face causing the Whiskey stench to linger, "I'm the best boyfriend Jude could ever have!"

Jude was slightly irritated at the comment. Was he saying she could never do better? So she stood silently with her arms crossed watching the scene play out, "Oh really Quincy? How about all the times you broke her heart? All the times you cheated? How about fucking her sister? That was great of you!"

"We weren't dating then!" Tom spit out coldly as his breath quickened and his heart pounded.

"I'm sure Jude loves that excuse!" Spiederman shouted in his face, "You love Jude so much, but yet accuse her of getting with me while your engaged? Bravo Tom, you're stupider than you fucking look! You come all the way here to get drunk and sulk when you have a beautiful fiancé who is loving and stuck through your bullshit instead of being by her side and making her happy. That doesn't sound like a great boyfriend to me!" Jude bowed her head listening to what Spiederman choked out. She saw the anger rising in the room but she couldn't interject. Maybe some of what he said was true, "You think you're the best thing for her but all you do is hurt her. So you've been on a good streak, but here's where the bad streak starts and when it's bad Quincy it's real bad with you two. How long will this one last Tom? Huh? Maybe you fuck another receptionist?"

"You better watch your fucking mouth!" Tom was not ready to hear the faults he was not proud of.

"You are a drunk mess. Before you do any more damage to your relationship because of your delusions and doubts go to bed and think," Spied spoke more calmly trying to bring the situation down.

Tom picked up on his fiancé's quietness and turned to her, "You're really gonna let this punk talk to me like this?"

Jude bit her lip not sure what to say, "Tommy I-"

"No I get it. Spied is your knight in shining armor rescuing you from the big bad Tom Quincy. Well don't worry Jude I'll leave you two to your fairytale. I'm leaving tomorrow morning." He made an effort to push past Spiederman as he rushed into bedroom.

Jude looked to Spied, "Just go please."

"If it gets worse please call me Jude," his heart ached to watch this happen.

She nodded her head before trailing into the bedroom. Tom was busy throwing his clothes in his suitcase and huffing around the room. "Tommy you're drunk can we talk about this tomorrow?"

Tom laughed manically with an evil look on his face, "Tomorrow I will be gone."

"Tommy this isn't fair. You never opened up to me about all of this. I didn't know Spied was bothering you, I didn't know your insecurities were eating away. Give me a chance to fix that Tommy, please don't be irrational. We promised we would talk things over and you're just running away again." Jude was now sobbing with tears streaming down her face and shaking as she tried approaching Tom.

He brushed her hands away from him, "Jude these insecurities can't be talked out. I can't change that I'm older than you. I can't change I had so much life experience and that I'm ready to settle down-"

"I'm ready too Tommy." She tried pleading.

Tom pointed a finger to her head, "You just think you are Jude. But give it time and you'll be saying how you wished you wouldn't have rushed into a marriage. You'll be telling people I'm boring and then you'll cheat or worse leave!"

"Tommy that's not true-"

"Jude you said it yourself this morning I'm old! I'm washed out Jude. You are gonna be in your mid twenties when I'm thirty? You're gonna be this big rock star Jude, you're gonna have so many other men fighting for you and I won't be able to compete." He ducked his head down realizing his own fears had actually torn him apart.

"What happened to thinking you're the best for me?" Jude let out between heavy sobs.

"I was just trying to make myself feel better, but even I know that's a lie." Tom looked to Jude with such sincerity and aggression in his eyes that it hurt her, "You're too young. You already proved that all you want to do is party and live your life, my suspicions aren't out of nowhere Jude."

Jude approached him, as her crying only got worse, "That's not true at all. You don't mean that Tommy, you're just drunk. Can we please just go to bed baby please? We can talk tomorrow."

He watched the tears run down her face and he pulled her into his arms. No matter what his mind was saying his heart couldn't watch Jude cry like that. Tom gently brought them to the bed with no words spoken and held her tightly resting a hand in her hair. The sobs stopped eventually and she fell into an exhausted slumber, but Tom lay awake. Even in his sobering state he thought of everything that Spied said and backed up by his own beliefs in his head he came to the conclusion the best the way for Jude to be free, was to have real freedom. He thought his love was too suffocating and he was tired of breaking her down.

When Jude woke up that morning there was an empty space in the hotel bed and his suitcase was nowhere to be found. She let her body drop back to the bed and her tears resurfaced from last night. How did things go bad so quickly? It wasn't the first time she questioned this, and she wondered if it'd really be the last.Jude looked to her finger and stared at the ring Tom had given her. It took all of her will power to take it off and place it on the nightstand before burying her face in the pillow and screaming. It was a breakdown.