Carlisle's children coming home was slightly on the awkward side. Despite him rushing over to my house and collecting some clean clothes whilst I was in the shower they were all perfectly aware I had slept in Carlisle's bed with him. Well when I say awkward I mean that I was uncomfortable not them, you see oddly they didn't seem to mind in the slightest.
"What's got you so pensive?" Carlisle chuckled as he sat watching me cook. Searching through the endless cupboards for a baking tray I stayed momentarily silent, trying desperately to try to put words to my mixed emotions.
"The kids don't seem concerned I stayed over," I sighed, pulling a wedge of thin baking trays from the cupboard beside the fridge and turning to look at him. Carlisle's lips twisted into a lopsided smile.
"Should they be?" He mused, "They've known for a while that me and Esme weren't happy, it hasn't come as a surprise that we divorced. And besides, they know you and are pleased that someone is looking after me," I sighed again, loading the seasoned chicken breasts onto the metal sheets and sticking them in the two eye level ovens before washing my hands and heading around to sit beside Carlisle at the breakfast bar.
"It isn't that I am not relieved that they don't mind but I've been through what they must be going through and even if they seem fine now it is going to get to them at some point and especially seems as they've all been in the system… they've all lost family before and to go through another breaking up must be worse than anything I could imagine," I said gently, Carlisle frowned slightly.
"They aren't pleased about what happened to Esme and I, it has upset them a lot, but they know that they're not alone… there are eight of them to support each other and knowing that I have you to support me makes things a lot easier," He said gently taking my hands in his, "I just want you to know that you worrying about them means a lot to me, it makes me feel that you are definitely what I want in my life that is if you want to be in it," My lips twitched into a weary smile, did I want to be in his life? The question didn't need to be asked.
"Carlisle of course I do, I just want you to know that I am here for your children as well as you, that is if they need someone to talk to," I said softly, his cold hands gently squeezed mine.
"They know that," He chuckled, leaning into softly kiss me, "But I think you'll find this is a relief to them. At times staying together for the sake of your children isn't the right thing to do,"
"I never suggested it was," I chuckled, my nose brushing against his. Tucking a strand of my hair behind one ear Carlisle's icy fingers glided over my shoulder and down my arm, his breath tingled against my lips, his strange amber eyes staring into mine. Never before had I been so undeniably attracted to a man. Our lips ghosted over the others, drawing closer.
"Damn something smells good," The loud voice said, the door opening with a bang and we shot apart as if struck by lightning. I could have sworn I heard Carlisle growl but in a split second the anger in his eyes vanished.
"Jacob," Carlisle sighed, sitting back. Turning with a wry smile I watch Jacob lean against the counter top, followed by a line of Cullens, well all bar Rosalie.
"Dinner will be in twenty minutes," I said, slipping off the stool to go and peer in the oven and switch on the vegetables to boil, all the while trying to reel in my raging hormones.
"Awesome what we having?" Jacob said coming over to stand beside me. Glancing up at the man mountain I rolled my eyes.
"Cajun spiced chicken, wedged potatoes, carrots, peas and sweetcorn," I listed, turning up the oven temperature slightly.
"We got dessert?" He added hopefully. Turning slowly on my heel I raised an eyebrow, hand on a hip, tapping my toes.
"What Esme always did dessert," He grumbled. The entire room winced audibly.
"Dude, you shouldn't have gone there," Emmett said shaking his head.
"Will chocolate chip muffins and ice cream suffice?" I smirked pointing at panicked looking man with a wooden spoon, "But I shall worn you only once, compare me to anyone and I shall kick your arse from here Timbuktu, is that understood,"
"Yes ma'am," He said quietly, fidgeting under my gaze.
"Good, now go and amuse yourselves for twenty minutes," I said dryly. Jacob turned slowly and scurried away like a dejected puppy with his tail between his legs. Rolling my eyes I caught Jasper's eye and with a sly smile he winked to me. It was a strange exchange as I held his gaze, it was as if he knew something…like perhaps what had been happening seconds before they all walked in and how horny it had made me, but that was impossible. I mean I was good at hiding how flustered Carlisle made me and he couldn't read my emotions, that was absurd. I looked away as the nagging in the back of my mind started again, the little voice that told me something about the Cullen's wasn't right. I shut it out, I didn't feel like listening to it. One by one the children left, leaving Carlisle and I alone once more. I turned back to the golden haired doctor, his elbows were propped on the counter, his chin resting on his interlaced fingers.
"Have I ever told you how sexy you are when you're angry?" He said grinning. Swinging my hair over one shoulder I chuckled.
"Carlisle sweetie," I said softly, walking back around to his side, " You should know by now that I don't do angry,"
"No, you don't, but if you did I am sure it would be sexy," He replied with a smirk, leaning in and kissing me.
Six months have passed now since Carlisle and Esme divorced. I guess you could say Carlisle and I have spent the time dancing around each other. We've managed, somehow, to keep our relationship a secret at work and between that, his children and my quickly escalating workload I have yet to have the pleasure of his body. I know it may be my sulking tired mind but somehow I have deduced that he himself wasn't entirely aiming for sex any time soon despite how obviously aroused he got when we well… ahem…spent time alone.
"Carlisle," I chuckled one dismal April evening, "Do you have an issue with sex before marriage?" Looking up from the book clasped in his hands he seemed surprised. We were sitting in his study, I at the desk pouring over my dissertation and he lazing in his armchair reading one priceless first addition or another. His mouth opened and then shut and then opened and shut. I grinned at his impersonation of a pedal bin.
"I… well," He started and then coughed, "My father was a Pastor and I… well…if you want to…I wouldn't say no," My lips quivered into a gentle smile, Carlisle in all the time I had known him had never been to church but the old looking cross on the living room wall had given me an inkling that someone in his family was probably religious but I'd never have pegged it as him.
"I'm not asking, it's just six months ago we said we'd take it slow after it very almost happened and we've come pretty close since but you seem to get scared," I stood up from the leather desk chair and walked over to sit in his lap.
"Yes well to start with I was quite overwhelmed with how quickly we got together and since…I can just hear my father now ranting about lillith and jezebel," He sighed, "The old fart always ranted on about that…I think he's getting to me," Slowly I tilted my head to one side, I could imagine an older version of Carlisle ranting on and on.
"Have you actually slept with anyone outside of marriage?" I mused slowly. He frowned slightly.
"Esme and I married quickly, so we never got to the situation where we needed to. But yes there has been one other," He said softly. I grinned, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Oh come on you can't leave it there," I urged, "Who was she," He seemed reluctant to think of her, his lip getting caught between his pearly white teeth.
"She was a friend when I was… young," He seemed to stumble over the last words, "Her parents were part of my Father's congregation and we and the other children used to play. She was my best friend, we used to get up to all sorts. Then her parents died and we… lost contact. When we were teenagers I ran away and stumbled upon her again, I'd lost my mother and well… she helped me forget. She was sweet but stubborn and hot headed but endearing and honestly she terrified me but she was the only person back then that seemed to care and we came to the US together," He smiled softly.
"She meant a lot to you," I whispered, my heart growing heavy, "What happened to her?"
"I did something stupid, we argued and I stormed out. Not long after I met Esme and well…I haven't seen her since," He said shrugging, "It was a long time ago when I was a different person, if I met her now though she'd still probably want to kill me… that's just what she's like…fiery," I smiled, in all the time I had known him this was the first time he'd told me about his past.
"Carlisle," I said softly, looking to me slowly he nodded.
"You loved her didn't you?" I said gently, "Is that why you married Esme so quickly? Because you had a broken heart?" He shrugged slightly.
"Most likely, I hurried into things with Esme and I shouldn't have but if I hadn't I wouldn't be here now taking things slowly with you. I learnt my lesson," He said laughing, "And anyway I think my father may come back to haunt me if I made you sin," I scoffed, running my fingers through his hair.
"Sweetie I think it's too late for that," I chuckled, "I am your sinner,"
"Mm my Jezebel," He mused, before softly kissing me, "Now before I drop you home is there anything you need clarifying for your paper?" Slightly peeved our moment was over I shook my head.
"No I am going to send it tomorrow and cross my fingers," I said gently.
"I can't believe you're getting your final certificate," He said with a sigh, "Now I have to convince the trustees to keep you on," I was silent for a moment in panic, oh god, my job!
"Joking," He laughed seeing my face, "They don't need convincing, they've got a position for you,"
Having my own office was strange, it was light and airy, a vast contrast to the dismally grey sky that I could see out the window. I'd been in Liberty for thirteen months and hanging my medical degree on the wall I turned around to the grinning man who was no longer my teacher but my colleague.
"Have I ever told you how proud I am of you?" He chimed, grinning ear to ear.
"Only every moment of the past week," I chuckled rolling my eyes, "It's just a shame you couldn't come to my ceremony," He grimaced.
"I know sweetheart but we are understaffed as it is," He sighed. Stepping forward I placed my hands on his shoulders and pecked my lips to his.
"I'm not mad and anyway my mother came and I can't have you meeting her… you'll conspire against me," I teased lightly. Taking me by the waist he frowned childishly.
"Is it me you don't want her meeting or your step children?" He replied, lips twisting into a devious smile. My eyes widened in shock, step children? God, I'd never thought of that, but to be a step parent wouldn't I have to be married?
"Well I'm no evil step mother yet, for one we're not married and two you haven't asked so," I poked out my tongue and skipped off to my desk. He chuckled with a grin.
"No I haven't yet," He said lightly, "I don't think the day you stop being my student would be a good day to announce you're going to be the next Mrs Dr Cullen," I could not help but laugh.
"Yes…I can see that would be a problem," I said leaning against my desk, "It may get slightly confusing when two out of four doctors have the same last name," Carlisle just smiled at me.
"Would you go out for dinner with me tonight? To celebrate," He said lazily walking towards me, my excitement deflated instantly.
"I can't tonight, Martha and Jodie have arranged a party at the Bell for me. I thought you'd have been invited?" I said carefully. With one hand Carlisle smacked himself on the forehead.
"No I have been, sorry that was stupid of me," He said with an apologetic sheepish look, "Tomorrow?"
"We're of duty so tomorrow sounds wonderful," I said softly.
The Bell was the only bar in Liberty, it was a small dusty looking place that made a bad mockery of an English pub but it was warm, dry, the food was decent and the liquor acceptable and half the hospital staff were there to celebrate. Martha, dolled up to the nines in a skin tight black dress and four inch heels that she had no hope on walking in greeted me at the door.
"There is our new Junior Doctor," She squealed pulling me into a hug soon followed by Jodie. Jodie was petite with shoulder length dirty blond hair, pale blue eyes and slightly long face. She and Martha had decided not long after I arrived in Liberty to take me under their wing, they had been good friends so far of not an effervescent fountain of gossip most of which was about Carlisle and I and our apparent sexscapades on the operating table, or the store closet or in the hospital room of our one coma patient. Really their list of stories was endless and each one more ridiculous than the last. Speaking of my blond haired apparent sex god he and I had decided to arrive separately and he was sitting at the bar, talking politely with Nurse Bluestone, the head surgery nurse, and watchfully glancing over to me. To be honest I think he was asking for help. Nurse Bluestone was a middle aged large lady who thought she had Carlisle right where she wanted him, unfortunately that left Carlisle in a difficult situation as he hadn't the heart to tell this poor woman he really didn't fancy her in the slightest.
"Margaret's got her claws into Dr Dilf," Martha said chuckling and handing me a glass of bubbles, I smiled lopsidedly looking down into the glass.
"Indeed she has, poor man, he doesn't know what to do with her," I sighed, honestly it was hilarious as Carlisle gave me another pleading glance.
"Well that's fine because she knows exactly what to do with him," Jodie snickered, "God what I'd do to him," I put my hands up and began to sing.
"La la la la la, totally do not want to know," I said childishly. Jodie puffed out her cheeks.
"Oh come on, just look at him," Jodie whined, "I'd quite happily sink my teeth into him,"
"Sink your teeth in," I scoffed, "What are you a vampire?"
"Well look at him! Pale, beautiful and have you felt his hands? Ice cold! He'd make a good Dracula if you dyed his hair black," Martha said backing her up, "I'd be his undead bride,"
"You two are ridiculous," I chuckled walking away to rescue him from his doomed fate.
"Ebony," Carlisle said loudly as I joined him, "How lovely to see you,"
"Hey Carlisle, can I have a word?" I replied. Nurse Bluestone seeming to get the idea I wanted her to bugger off turned, humped and walked away.
"Thank god…I thought she'd never leave," He sighed, turning to me with a grateful look.
"Yeah and I thought Martha and Jodie would never go," I said slipping onto the bar stool beside him.
"What new imaginative place have they decided we've had sex now," He chuckled sipping his drink, "Please tell me it isn't the morgue,"
"Oh no sex stories today although the last one was rather detailed, no today they've told me that you're a vampire," I chuckled. To be honest I am not sure what confused me more being sprayed with his drink or his momentary look of panic.
"What," He coughed, putting down his glass as he seemed to be fighting the fight or flight reflex. I frowned considerably.
"We were chatting about how Margaret wouldn't back off and Jodie said she didn't blame her and would happily sink her teeth into you and it turned into them saying if you dyed your hair black you'd make a good Dracula," I said slowly, my eyes narrowing. There it went again, the little niggle in the back of my mind that something wasn't right. He laughed nervously.
"Could never watch that film… too much blood," He said sipping his beer again, "And if Nurse Dawson ever tries to bite me I may scream," My lips twitched into a smile and the urge to kiss him was undeniable but I refrained, I always loved how he was so formal with our colleagues but insisted even at work that we use first names.
"Yeah…I have to say her braces would probably hurt more than the teeth," I said quietly. We just smiled at each other for a moment before looking away.
The party kicked into life soon after, ever single one of the thirty or so staff decided they all needed to buy me a drink. Honestly I think I lost count as to how much I drank but an aggravated Carlisle seemed to be counting. He sat propping up the bar most of the night, I had been whisked away to dance, eat cake and be merry. The hours ticked by and soon Martha, Jodie and I were getting rather carried away.
"Dr Dilf is coming over here," Martha giggled as we danced to something from David Guetta.
"Ebony," Carlisle said taking the half empty cocktail from my hand, "I think you've had enough," I shook my head and pouted.
"Nope!" I slurred, "I'm fine," He raised an eyebrow.
"You're dancing on the bar," He said carefully.
"Yeah it's our rendition of coyote ugly," I said before bursting into giggles with Martha and Jodie.
"Get down now," He said pointing to the floor, "Before you hurt yourself," I didn't have time to say no because as soon as the word formed in my mouth he grabbed me by the legs and threw me over his shoulder.
"Carlisle!" I laughed as he dropped me to my feet and put his hands on my shoulders to steady me. He did not look impressed, my stomach churned and I huffed, "It's a party, loosen up…have a drink,"
"I have had a drink and I am not having another because someone has to drive you home," He said, voice softening, "Now let's go home… who knows how my children are running riot," In my inebriated mind this seemed unfair but pouting I gave in.
"Fine, party pooper," I said turning to Martha and Jodie who were still dancing on the bar, "I am going home,"
The next morning I felt like death. To be honest I have had a hangover before but never this bad. I was alone in Carlisle's bed dressed in one of his shirts feeling in terrible need of a cuddle. My head felt like it was splitting in two, my stomach was uneasy and my throat like sandpaper. Slipping from the bed I staggered towards the study feeling dejected, honestly regretting walking out into the dim room that still seemed to bright. Carlisle was standing in front of his desk talking to Emmett and Jasper, the latter two who were grinning.
"Look who's up," Emmett chuckled, "Have a good night?"
"What I can remember of it," I said with a lop sided smile, nervously rubbing the back of my neck as I walked over to Carlisle.
"Feelin' a little delicate," Jasper said with a smirk. Strangely at that moment the urge to vomit subsided but my head was still thumping.
"Slightly," I replied, glancing sheepishly up to Carlisle. Well let's just say that he, for once, didn't look overly enamoured with me.
"Emmett will you get some pain killers for her," Carlisle said flatly.
"Sure thing," He chuckled, clapping Jasper on the back before both boys walked out.
"Look Carlisle I am sorry," I said as he just stared at me.
"I am sure you are," He replied dryly, looking my shaking form up and down. I frowned, my fingers twisting in the soft bottom of his shirt..
"Okay Mr High and Mighty, I made a mistake, I drank way too much and made a fool of myself in various ways but Carlisle I am Twenty Three and it was my party! I had a good time and yes I feel beyond shitty and I wish I hadn't drank that much but I wish you wouldn't look at me with disgust, You, sir, are older and I am sure you've made enough mistakes to have learnt from them! In the year I have known you I haven't been drunk once! I haven't gone out and partied so forgive me one night," I said, my frustration growing astronomically. Turing from him to the door all I wanted to do was to go back to bed and wake up when he wasn't so pissed with me. I felt his hand on my shoulder before I could take two steps.
"I am not mad at you Ebony and please don't walk away from me," He said softly, "If anything I am frustrated with myself," Slowly, in confusion, I turned to him. His eyes were cast to my feet, his lips curved in a sad frown.
"What?" I said slowly.
"Last night I realised how much older than you I am. I wish I could've been as young and carefree as you last night," He said softly, "I don't drink, I don't party…I work and spend time with my family, I don't have a social life. I don't regret my choices, with you here I love my life I just don't want you to regret me," Without a second thought I threw myself into his arms and buried my face in his chest.
"I could never regret you Carlisle and even though I don't know how old you are I do not care," I mumbled, "You've made me the happiest I could ever be and I am so lucky to have you," Pressing his lips to the top of my head he wrapped me up in his arms.
"All I want is you to be happy," He whispered, "You're my whole world,"
"Good… then you'll stop me ever drinking again," I moaned, screwing my eyes shut. What did my oh so sympathetic Carlisle do in face of my pain? Laugh at me!
That night, once I had gotten over my killer hang over, we dolled ourselves up once more and drove into the city. Over the months we'd been together we had made this trip a few times and each time he'd taken me somewhere different. Tonight was a French restaurant and we had a lovely secluded table in an alcove. My mind drifted back to the first date he had taken me and the dream I had had of our going to a French restaurant. That had been twelve months ago.
"What do you want to drink?" Carlisle said with a grin. I pouted.
"Elderflower and Lemonade," I said, being diligent to my promise.
"Good girl," He chuckled, shrugging off his jacket and slipping it onto the back of his chair. He looked to me, lips twisted into a mischievous smile, eyes twinkling, hair smoothed back, pressed white linen shirt rolled up to his elbows. God was he divine.
"Carlisle," I stuttered, finally realising something truly important, "Can I talk to you seriously for a moment," He blinked and then nodded.
"Of course, you can say anything to me," He said softly. Taking a deep breath I guarded my nerves and reached over and took his hands in hers.
"In the six months we have been together I would like to think I know you well," I said slowly, "And I know that there is something about you and your family that you are not telling me,"
"Ebony," Carlisle said, eyes growing wide in panic, I held up a hand to silence him before retaking his hand.
"Please let me finish," I said firmly, "I have spent months trying to figure out what it is that seems to bother me but I've decided that whatever it is that you aren't telling me does not matter, I love you very much and I love your children too and eventually if you want to tell me then I shall listen, take it in and not let it make any difference to how I feel about you," Carlisle sat and stared at me for a moment, silently taking in my calm face.
"Thank you Ebony," He said softly, "That means a lot to me,"
We sat in comfortable silence for a time, his thumbs caressing the back of my hands.
"I have something for you," He said softly, "A present," I chuckled and rolled my eyes.
"Carlisle you never have to buy me anything," I said softly as he pulled a neatly wrapped small box from his jacket.
"Please humour me," He pleaded handing the box over. Smirking I took it, loosening the blood red bow and opening the box. Inside was a key, a nice shiny Mercedes Benz key. My eyes widened considerably.
"You're going to let me drive your car," I squeaked, snatching the key out.
"No," He chuckled, "I am going to let you drive your car," My mouth hung open for a moment.
"My car?" I stuttered, "I've never had my own car," Carlisle smiled, with an endearing gentle look.
"I'm proud of you for getting your final certificate," He chuckled. Jumping to my feet I skirted the table and hugged him, kissing him feverishly.
"Thank you so much," I choked my eyes watering. Carlisle gently wiped away the tears and kissed me softly.
"You never need to thank me sweetheart," He breathed, "Just don't walk around in the rain anymore," Sitting back down I bit my lip.
That night when we pulled up into Carlisle's garage my new shiny Mercedes Benz was sitting in the usually empty spot with a blood red ribbon on the bonnet.
"You spoil me," I said, snuggling into his side as we walked over to it.
"You're worth it," He chuckled, "And you're going to need it when you move in here," I blinked looking up at him in silent shock.
"Did you just ask me to move in with you?" I stuttered. He swallowed, eyes on his shoes.
"Is it too fast," He breathed, tears rolled down my cheeks and with a smile I shook my head.
"No sweetie" I breathed, "It's perfect," Wrapping my arms around him I kissed him. Effortlessly he picked me up and laid me across the bonnet of my new car, leaning into me. His right hand smoothed up my thigh and under the hem of my dress, caressing slowly upwards.
"Ahem," The interruption was a surprise to both of us and before I realised it Carlisle had us on our feet. Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett and Lizzie were standing in the open garage doorway soaked through to their skin.
"You two need to get a room," Emmett said, his arm around Rosalie's dripping shoulders, "Because I am not respraying the bonnet when your scratch,"
"Don't forget the panel beating kit," Lizzie added lightly before she and the man mountain hurried up the stairs giggling leaving the twins shaking their heads to follow.
"That… was embarrassing," I said looking up at Carlisle through my eyelashes.
"You'll get used to it," He chuckled, "And if they annoy you you can always ground them," I laughed loudly.
"Are you trying to make me into the evil step mother?" I grinned.
"No… you're perfect," Carlisle whispered cupping my cheeks and kissing me. I may not actually be perfect but in that moment I was pretty sure he was.