Chapter 3: Follow The List

STAN MARSH

"That was an awesome time, dude, but I gotta jet."

"So soon?"

"Yeah."

I didn't want to join Kyle for dinner from what I smell in what Mrs.Broflov was cooking up in the kitchen. I don't think kosher food makes me happy. Though, Kyle argued that I had dealt with it before, but I didn't want to deal with it today. I asked if he wanted to come with me to my place for dinner, but he refused to, it was a bummer, but I'll live. He's a nice guy, at least what I think. When I arrived home, I was greeted by my parents and Shelly. I joined them just in time for dinner.

"Did you have fun, son?" Dad questioned.

"It wasn't so bad. Kyle's pretty fun." I answered.

A smile crept up both of my parents's faces once I said my positive opinion about him. It was obvious to why they were happy about the whole thing. It was because I was still on good terms with Kyle. It sounds odd to say 'still' because I really still feel like I hardly know him. I feel like the new kid in town that has to make new friends and transfer to a new school, not the guy that had it al and moved away and came back. I sighed and poked at my slice of meatloaf with my fork. I was rethinking about that flashback I had when I was walking home...

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I was in an intense conversation with Kyle, and I was arguing supposedly on my week of fame as being #1 on Guitar Hero, to which my career, if you can even call it that, demolished in the end, and I had wanted to get Kyle back into my life again. He looked away from me:

"I don't need you Stan." He said with a displeasurable expression.

"I know...But I needyou." I said, placing my hand onto his shoulder as I frowned out the truth.

He looked back at me with widened eyes, and I looked serious about what I said when he observed.

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And my first thought was, 'What the hell?' How gay was I? Was I gay? No, I had a girlfriend, but unless she turned out to be a transvestite...

"Stan, you're going to sleep early, you're going to school tomorrow. Your first day." Sharon answered.

I was surprised at what she told me. I'm going to school? Tomorrow? "How am I going to get there? I don't remember where it is." I should correct myself by saying, 'I don't know where it is!' Hey, maybe it's best that I let this distract me from what I was thinking earlier.

"Yeah, son. It's about time you get to know everyone. I hope... That's okay with you." My dad said in a hesitant unsure tone.

I shrugged and grinned, "It's cool, Randy." I nodded.

"You know, you don't have to call me 'Randy'." He said, "Calling me 'dad' is fine too." He said before placing a fork of peas into his mouth.

"Oh! But I like to call you Randy. It sounds cooler, ya know?" I stated before taking a bite of ham.

My dad smiled back, "All right. If you feel comfortable with that then. I just want you to know I'm your dad after all." He said with a stiff of a laugh.

I joined in, "Of course." I said.

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After dinner was done, I headed off into my room, I was able to find it, since I can pretty much tell apart between the different styled-rooms in the house, but when I entered my room it felt odd. Like, it wasn't my room. I looked around my surroundings, on the walls were posters of football, and jerseys hanged up on the wall, used by famous athletes and decorations of football and baseball. Sports. Sports. I think I'm going to go insane! I looked down, there were Sports Illustrated magazines in a pile near the desk, but I found something that caught my eye. It was a box next to it. I scurryed on over there and opened it. It was full of comic books? Why were they in a box and not ths sports magazines? I mean, these look way more interesting! This room was really getting on my nerves. I shall make a note to myself to rem-

Oh, my god! Why the hell is my underwear everywhere?! And my other clothes and stuff?! I didn't notice earlier that I can't even see the carpet! I was ready to start cleaning when all of a sudden I tripped on something. "Oof!" I crashed onto the floor. I groaned and my eyes rolled over to the direction of what was under my bed. I saw...Ramen? Yogurt? Bread? Did I have a pet? When I decided to investigate by going into smellng range, my god I wanted to throw up! I ran into the private bathroom I had-Woah! I have a private bathroom, pretty sweet, eh? Hey, wait, how did I know that was there?

So, after a few minutes of spending some time in the bathroom, vomiting and cleaning my mouth with mouthwash, I found Shelly sitting on my bed, and was looking right at me. She had her hands together, placed on her lap. She was rubbing her upper teeth against her bottom lip, it must've been a habit she had aquired over the years. Her hot red lips spoke, "Give me it." She said in a demanding voice.

"You're gonna have to be more specific than that." I answered with a shrug, my eyes having the urge to travel onto the messy floor.

"The notebook." Shelly answered.

"You know?" I questioned and dug through my back pocket for it. Though, I was hesitant at first to give it to her.

"Of course I do! She's your damn girlfriend, I have to know!" She yelled.

I winced at her hard tone, and threw her the notebook, "Here." I murmured. Is it suppose to be her business? Or anyone's? Well, it's not like I wrote in anything important anyways. Well, yet. I watched her examine the few notes I took with a serious look, but that broke into a giggle and a smile when she reached the last part of my notes. "All right, all right. Sit down, you." Shelly commanded.

Without any second thoughts, I obeyed. I wasn't sure how I was so obedient to her, it must've been something about her tone or something.

She sat the notepad next to her, and let out a sigh. "All right, Turd, I talked with Wendy, and I have decided that I'm going to be the psychiatrist that will help you in getting back your memories and whatever problems you're gonna have." She sounded bitter when she offered helpful advice to me. She mumbled something to herself, though I was unsure of what she had said, but it most likely had something to do with the fact that she didn't want to really do it this much. I wonder why she hates me though? It's probably a brother-sister thing. I just nod in response. "Look, I see that you all ready have your notes on yourself down. A few anyways. And you bet it sure ain't legal to marry a video game. Damn fag." She mumbled under her breath.

"Is this discussion going anywhere?" I asked with crossed arms. I began tapping on my arm as I waited for her to get straight to the point. So far, she's my psychiatrist.

She scowled, "Quiet."

"But we're about to talk, how can I be q-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

I jumped back at her moody tone.

"Ahem." She coughed onto her fist, "Let's get started. You need to know about your past, it'll be pretty odd though." She explained. I listened. Once, Shelly had grasped my attention she talked once more: "As you know. Wendy is your girlfriend. Stan, you dared her back in the third grade to be exact, but she dumped you for that black kid. I forgot his name." Shelly shrugged, "Anyways, that made you turn goth and then you told Wendy to go fuck herself everytime she came near you when she wanted to start over. You like her, but because you did. You always threw up in her face, at least, what she complained about anyways. You and Wendy got back together in the 8th grade. She dumped Token and went back to you. Your relationship isn't technically on-and-off since I think you broke up only two times or something. Which is more of a good thing, otherwise that would be really annoying to hear how you break up with her three times a week!

"Moving onto the next person. As you know. Kyle Broflovski is your best friend, that you knew since pre-k. He's a geek, well. Actually, he's not your best friend any more, technically speaking. You dumped him and your friends when you entered high school. I don't know much about him, but he use to have an afro (I think you had an afro fetish), and like you put in your notes, a total diabetic. And hey, if you're still interested in keep up with your popularity status you keep away from him, but it's your life, so you can do as you damn well please."

Keep away from him. I'm not so keen on the whole 'status' thing. I mean, Kyle's a nice guy: "But I don't want to stay aw-"

"Dammit, are you deaf? I said you can stay with him if you don't give two shits about your status."

"Jeez, you don't have to be so rude about it." I rolled my eyes at her.

She made a loud harsh sigh, "Get use to it punk." Shelly informed me before exiting my room.

"What the hell?" I said after the door slammed.

That night I fell asleep for the first time of my new life that I have to explore in order to understand.

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I hated the attire I chose as I looked at my reflection in the life-size mirror. A parka that had a combination of green and white, and no it wasn't a parka you could wear in winter. There's actually a distinction when it comes to hoodies and parkas, like chowder and soup. I did not like my style, it was plain. No designs, just numbers and names of famous players I don't care about. I traveled back into the closet, and went on my own 'little adventure' in there. Soon, I came across a black outfit that had included black converses, one cross earring, a black hat with a gray puff ball on it, and a black shirt with a white and black checkered star on it, and black girl pants. I took out the whole attire, except the girl pants, and placed that on with loose dark jeans before I came down for breakfast.

I wasn't so surprised at the reactions I have recieved for some reason.

"Wha... What are you wearing?" Asked my dad, looking freaked out.

"Randy, let him express himself. It takes time, before he remembers his usual style." Answered my mother.

"Aw! But I like this style!" I said in a purposely-childish manner to bring the mood up, from serious to care-free. I took a seat in the wooden chair next to Shelly as mother unloaded the plates of today's breakfast.

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After breakfast, Shelly drove me to school. I observed the tall burgundy red building that had read 'South Park High School' on it. Wow, that's a boring name, and unoriginal! Anyways, after parking the care and getting out it, I followed her to the front of it, she looked behind her, right at me with a raised brow: "Uhh...What are you doing?" She asked as she stopped dead on her tracks.

"Following." I shrugged, "I don't know where I'm suppose to stand."

"Turd. You have friends." She rolled her eyes after she scoffed. She placed her hand onto her hip as she waited for me to leave. Well, she expected me to leave, but I refused to.

"But! I don't know where to go!" I responded. I must've sounded like a kid right there. Why the hell does she keep calling me a turd? I'm pretty sure I don't smell like one. Maybe it's a girl thing. Though, I pretty much doubt it.

"OVER THERE!" She yelled and pointed at Wendy who was talking with another girl. The two were surrounded by guys and other people. I blinked and shrugged, "Kay thanks!" I replied and walked towards them. I sensed Shelly's eyeroll at my annoyance. I snickered.

"Stupid-Punk." She mumbled.

"Stoner-Hooker." I replied.

"WHAT?!" I ran at that moment with laughter, forgetting to meet up with Wendy.

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Stan's PoV ends here.

"You didn't miss much, Mr.Marsh. You just came in two weeks later." Mrs. Schmitt informed the young boy. She moved her straightened brown hair out the way of her eyes, revealing rectangular black framed glasses. She had looked quite young with her complexion, possibly around the age of twenty-four."Now open up your arms."

"Excuse me?"

"Here we go." The secretary warned as she was trying to lift some textbooks. She dropped them one by one onto his arms, "Geography...Biology...Algebra...Health...Literature, organizer," And added some papers, "Locker combination, worksheets, schedule..."

She rambled on and on about what Stan needed for his classes, soon he appeared in the hallway, with the door closing behind him. The stack of books and papers had almost slipped to reveal him. His pile was covering him! The pile was taller then him in height!

"Here, let me help you there." A voice said and took at least half of the stack, and it seemed to reveal: Kyle Broflovski

"Thanks, man, but you didn't have to."

"I know, but I wanted to." Kyle said with a friendly grin, "Now, come on. First, I'll show you around the building, then I'll tell you about everyone tomorrow, just to help you in your memory!" He winked.

"Aww! Thanks, dude!"

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AT LUNCH

Stan felt like a blind man, when he didn't know where to sit. It was like he was getting confused with 'how' and 'where'. He looked around as he carried his orange tray of food. To his rescue, Wendy came up to him, and snaked her arm around his with that sweet smile of hers, "Come on! Stan!" He looked at her, as she lead him side by side toward one of the popular tables. She made it looked like nothing happened, his eyes continued to look for a certain someone though, much like Kyle for instance.

"Hey Stan" A voice with a mixture of flirt and gentleness caught his attention. It must have been that seductive, or it was because it was someone calling him. At any rate, he didn't sound sexually interested in the woman anyways, even after he looked at her. The teen had the biggest rack...EVER. Okay, okay. Not really, it's really an overexaggeration, but to any guy in South Park, if you ask any of them they would say the finiest woman with the biggest rack is none other than, 'Bebe Stevens'. Not to Stan though, right now it's still Wendy. Rack or not(wait, no rack?! How is a man suppose to live like that?!).

Stan, however, was not mesmerized by her looks or her unrealistically, yet somehow natural, breasts. He sat next to her, and she scooted closer. He signed in annoyance, "Anyways, sup? Are you Bebe?" He assumed right away as Wendy took a seat next to her.

"Yes, actually, and I have something for you, Mr.Star-Football-Player." She said and pulled out her Linda Cosgrove designer label red giant purse and slipped her manicured hand into it, scuttling her hand around for something. At the same time, old notes and bubblegum wrappers were flying out of the purse, and a... Tampon? Which had also fell into some guy's burrito, causing him to shout, "Dude! TAMPON IN MY BURRITO? ON BURRITO DAY?!"

"Here ya go!" Bebe smiled as she handed him a piece of loose-leaf paper, and there was a list written in orange and in big letters and some doodles all around. It defiantely showed that she was the one that wrote this.

Status List: PROPERTY OF STAN MARSH! 333

Women You Love:

Wendy-Your girlfriend who is smart/pretty/popular

Bebe- (Of course!) Wendy's best friend, and I hooked you guys up for the third time you guys broke up

Shelly-Your older sister who is insanely popular only by being a whore.

Heidi- She can be a total bitch, but you still love to hang out with her.

Guys You Hang Out With:

Token-Rich. Popular. Cool. He's the class representive and on the football team. He has the same level of popularity as you.

Clyde-Who doesn't love this guy? 333

Guys/Chicks You Don't Hang With and Should Stay Away From:

Cartman-The BIGGEST asshole! NEVER go with him!

Kenny-It's rumored he has a STD.

Craig-Rude! He spends most of his time at the principal's office!

Butters-Cute, but too much of a loser.

Damien-He's creepy. SERIOUSLY!

Pip- Rejected since Elementary! Hang out with him, and your status is going to be brought down before you know it!

Red-Bitch.

Tweek-ADD. Sure, he's cute and all, but I suggest staying away from him. He's still a freak.

Kyle-Too much of a nerd

He raised a brow at the list, and let it dropped onto the white surface of the table, "What do you want me to do with this?" He asked, looking down at the list then at her. She scooted closer, and pointed a red manicured nail at the first name in the anti-pile and began explaining, "Well, this is a list about the people you should stay away from. Like Him." Bebe said in a sour tone and pointed at a once-overweight-teen that was seated next to Craig and surrounded by other guys. The guy was playing a trick on a hooded fellow, something that had to do with forks and peas. He didn't wanna know.

Something caught his eye, someone with that silly green hat and curly red hair! It was Kyle! He rose from his seat with excitement and raised his arms up high, and waved like, someone would describe him in one word, an 'idiot'. "KYLE! OVER HERE DUDE! RIGHT HERE!" He yelled like a fanboy, recieving stares from all around him.

"Psst… Stan. Remember what I said about the list? " Bebe muttered as she grabbed onto his wrist, shaking her head. Stan gave her a dismissive wave in response, along with an eye roll, and continued to call for Kyle. "Sit over here!"

Kyle lifted a stiff auburn brow at Stan, and looked back at Tweek, who twitched in response after Kyle gave him a look, 'Should I go or do you want me to sit next to you?' It was better if Kenny was here. He didn't have that many friends; he wasn't that popular around South Park. Though, it was mostly because when he hung out with Cartman, Kenny, and Stan. It was just the four of them, and no one else. It was a habit they picked up where no one else mattered, but them.

"GAH! DON'T LOOK AT ME!" Tweek yelled at Kyle's sudden gaze. "Oh I mean…" He twitched, trying to regain his control. Wait a minute, what control? "Y-You-You can go! It's OKAY!" He yelled, and Kyle smiled at him and walked off.

He walked over to where Stan was, feeling so awkward, completely out of place. Like he didn't belong there, well, he didn't really belong there, really. He felt stares from the teens seated at the table gaze over at him. He stuck out so much with the clothes and status, which made him very uncomfortable. The popular people stared at Kyle, like he was some kind of new toy placed on display, like those chinpokomons, from long ago. Which had something t deal with Japanese people trying to bomb us yet again. Hopefully, they weren't at it again. Damn them. Then again...Kyle was never really into that Chinpokomon stuff.

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"Okay, Kenny. I'll trade you my Chuchunezumi for your Pengin!" An overweighted fat boy said.

Muffled an orange boy, who had his mouth covered with the orange fabric of his jacket replied: "Fuck you!"

"God damnit, you're supposed to trade those, you asshole! Now, give me Pengin!" The other one protested.

"Hey dudes!" Kyle greeted, "What...are those?" He pointed with a raised brow at the demented looking animals (If you can even call them that).

Stan gasped at his best friend! "What are these??" He said in a voice, he could believe that Kyle could not understand! Or even know about the new senstation! "They're Chinpokomon!" He yelled sounding like a total fan-boy.

"Huh??" Kyle questioned dumbfoundly.

"You don't appear to have any Chinpokomon." The fat one informed, "Cyborg Bill hasn't been cool for a long time, Kyle."

"Why the hell don't people tell me these things?!"

"It's all Chinpokomon now."

To which Stan piped in, "Dude, if you collect Chinpokomon you can complete the Primary Main Objective."

"What's the Primary Main Objective?" Kyle asked.

"You don't even know what the Primary Main Objective is?" Cartman looked at him in disbelief.

"The Primary Main Objective is to destroy the Evil Power." Stan said.

"Well. what's the Evil Power?" Kyle asked.

"Ogh!" Stan gave an eye roll out of frustration. Cartman followed Stan's lead against the noob, "Oh, my God! The identity of the Evil Power won't be revealed until all Chinpokomon are collected by a Royal Crown Chinpoko Master!"

Kyle, who of course had no idea of what the hell they were talking about just replied with a simple, "... What?" Honestly, it was like they were speaking a different language.

To which Cartman added with a, Duuuh!"

"Kyle, get with the times, dude!" Stan yelled.

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"Stan...Stan!" Kyle shook his friend's arm frantically.

"Huh?! Oh what?!" Stan shook his head, now returning back into reality.

"The bell just rang! Lunch is over! What the hell is wrong with you, dude?!" Kyle raised a thick auburn brow.

"Oh umm..." Stan scratched his head, "I...I..."

After waiting impatiently for a few seconds, Kyle rolled his eyes, "Come on, let's just go." He said.

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The next day, it was morning, and Kyle was getting out his books from his locker, after gathering what he needed, he shut his locker door, and walked off to begin his next class. He saw people gasping and chatting about him, then people began to greet him like:

"Hey Ky! Sup?!" Token yelled.

"Yo Ky!" Clyde greeted.

"Oh my god! Hi Kyle" Bebe followed.

Instead of feeling like the weirdo for once, he felt like everyone was being... creepy. He gave a hesitated wave at the three who smiled and nodded in his direction and some normal people shooting him nods of admiration and smiles of welcomes. It was odd, because it seems like a greeting you would give to the new kid, but Kyle's not new around here and they don't even greet the new kids.

"Ky?..."

"HEY KAHL!" The slim-Cartman greeted.

"Now, that's just plain creepy." Kyle said, with a raised brow. Cartman greeting him with a cheesy grin? What a laugh!

How did get from total-dork-that-needs-a-restraining-order to suddenly hott-and-irresistable? This was a difficult equation to solve, indeed. Suddenly he felt his back being patted, "Hey Ky!" Kenny grinned, appearing behind him.

"Don't call me that!" Kyle yelled at Kenny. There was only one person that could call him that, but he isn't with them anymore.

"Aww! Why?" Kenny whined, "I mean, you're popular now! WE CAN SCORE EASY!"

Kyle rolled his eyes, "And how does this benefit you, exactly?" He asked in an acidy voice.

"Well, I can be your side-kick best friend! You know like in the comic books?! And then girls would wanna hang with me because I hang with you!" Kenny exclaimed with excitement. 'God, why is acting everyone acting like a bunch of freaks? This doesn't even answer my question at all! I mean, they hardly knew I existed, now this! This didn't make any sense! I was sure I woke up this morning, this can't be a dream!'

"Hey Kyle!" Stan called out to him.

That answered his question.

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N/A:

Sorry, it took so long. D: I WAS BUSY, K?

ParkasThey don't have to be for winter, but they're called that if they're hoodies with zippers.

HoodiesThis, you just slip on without having to button or zip it.