Summary:
Walls to climb. Battles to fight. Dilemmas to overcome. Choices to make. This is life.
19 Convictions
"All our final decisions are made in a state of mind that is not going to last."
– Marcel Proust
Certain aspects in life are irreconcilable, no one knows this better than you.
Just like your demon heart belong to a human girl, but your mind refuses to give in.
Not that you have no feelings for her (she definitely moves your heart like no other).
Not that you have never been tempted to conquer her mind, her soul and above all – her body (she has certainly proved to be quite a challenge even for your iron will).
Yet you let yourself be convinced (while your mother thinks she was the one who convinced you) that marriage to another same as yourself works the best for everyone
Because no matter how much the heart yearns, some facts of life simply cannot be altered (just like how she is human and you are demon).
You often chide yourself for being such a coward (deep down in you lurks the fear that you cannot handle the reality).
But you know how cruel the world is out there (you know your offspring with her will not fit the norm).
So you resort to building a wall in between (so that she does not come close enough).
You go along with your mother's plan (you take another demon as life-partner, produce full-pledged demon children, fulfill your duty, no undesirable future scenario).
At the same time, you attempt to cheat destiny (you still want her to stay by your side).
For that you would rather turn a blind eye to her pain than to relent (you know very well she is hurt by your actions).
You thought her unparalleled devotion would bend her enough to see past this (she says herself again and again how she wants to stay by your side forever).
By the time you realize she is gone, driven away by your deeds –
YOU ARE BROUGHT TO YOUR KNEES BY YOUR OWN CONVICTIONS.