There shall be two more chapters! It will all be over on Wednesday. Well it has been a great ride and I hope you like these last few chapters. Thanks for everything you have said, and it has really helped me right. It gave me a little motivation. So, thank you. Read, follow, favorite, and review.
~Lauren
Chapter 20
All Alone
Eva wakes up with a yawn and looks over and furrows her brow. But, she just shrugs, assuming Erik is downstairs making breakfast or in the music room. She throws the covers off and walks out of her bedroom. She peaks into the nursery and smiles before walking downstairs. She looks all around and does not see Erik anywhere. She feels a pang of worry hit her. "Erik?" she says, hoping he is hiding or something like that to scare her. "Please, Erik. Come out." But the house stays silent. Eva starts to tear up.
She runs over to the door and yells out of it. "Erik?! Where are you?!" She has many tears streaming down her face now. She runs back inside and starts pacing back and forth in the music room. "Okay," she talks to herself. "He could be out running errands. Yeah. That's probably what it is." She sobs harder now. "Oh, no! I just have a feeling he is gone forever! He is gone!" She looks over at the organ. She walks over to it and sees that all of his music is gone. Except, for that one song.
She picks up the sheet music slowly and stares at it. A tear falls and hits the notes, making it smear. "Now it's ruined!" she screams and starts tearing up the music in fury and sorrow. How could he do this to her? They had triplets to take care of!
After she is finally done tearing up the music and watching it fall to the floor, Eva keeps crying and screaming. Even if he didn't love me, we were best friends! He said he would be there for our kids always. But now look at him! He's gone. He is who knows where! She sighs and her tears eventually dry up and she is done crying.
A sudden cry burst from upstairs. Her head whips toward the stairs and she rushes up them. She opens the door and sees Rose screaming, crying, and kicking. Eva rushes over and grabs her. She shushes her and bonces her up and down ever so slightly. But, Rose does not calm down. "Please, Rose. Calm down. Oh, how I wish you could talk. Then you could tell me what's wrong." Rose has many a tears running down her face, and Eva feels terrible for not being able to help.
Eva decides to sit in the rocking chair, and try rocking her. Maybe that will stop her cries. And eventually it does. Rose sleeps soundly in Eva's arms after many minutes of crying. She, surprisingly, didn't wake up the boys. None of them ever wakes the others up. Eva quietly giggles and sets Rose back in the middle of the crib.
She half smiles at seeing her babies sleeping. She just wish they could have a father.
Eva stays down in her kitchen all day, drinking tea. I wish there was someone here to comfort me. Eva thinks she shouldn't report him as missing because Eva can tell he meant to leave. He didn't feel right here. Eva knows it. I can't get any of his songs out of my head. Then she remembers a line from a song that Erik had written for Christine. And it fits this situation perfectly. She sings it out loud to herself, not caring who hears.
And music,
Your music.
It teases at my ear.
I turn and it fades away.
And you're not here!
She starts crying once more. Even though he didn't love her, she doesn't care. She just needs him there. Especially for the children. But she refuses to cry more and forcefully wipes away her tears. She feels depression sinking into her soul. Deep down into her soul.
She sings the next lines of his song. That is how she feels.
Let hopes pass!
Let dreams pass!
Let them die!
Without you,
What are they for?
I'll always feel no more than halfway real.
Till I hear you sing,
Once more!
Eva wraps her arms around herself and sobs once again. She can't hold back. She sips the last of her tea and slams the cup back down. "What am I going to do?" She sighs and sits back up, facing reality.
"If he wants to come back, he will. But, until then, I shall take care of the children myself."
She stands up from her seat, wipes her tears, and clenches her jaw.
"I will never tell them of their father. He is not important."