Chapter 23: Two Truths and a Lie
. . .
A strange sound, like a muffled cry, invaded Jo's sleep. She felt some movement close to her and she opened her eyes.
''No...'' Lily mumbled quietly. Jo propped herself up on one elbow and looked at the girl. ''No!'' Lily cried out, louder this time.
''Hey, baby...'' Jo whispered and gently stroked her cheek, trying to wake her up. But Lily cried out once more and jerked violently, making Jo tightened her hold on her, as she was afraid that the little girl would fall off the bed. Suddenly all those nights when Lily had nightmares and had woken up in tears crossed Jo's mind. She had hoped they were long gone by now.
''Lily, wake up.'' Jo said and finally Lily opened her eyes. She turned her head slightly, looking at Jo. ''Sweetheart, are you OK?'' Jo asked her, tenderly stroking her curls.
''I had a dream...'' Lily told her in a shaky voice. ''They took me away from you...'' She added and started to sob.
''Oh, honey... Nobody will take you away. I won't let those bad guys come close to you ever again.'' Jo assured her, taking her in her arms. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that Mac had entered the room, alarmed by Lily's crying. He sat on the bed next to Jo, who was holding Lily on her lap.
''No, not them.'' Lily shook her head, still sobbing. ''Sally...''
''Sally...?'' Jo asked, looking at Mac, both completely confused. ''Who's Sally?''
''That lady.'' Lily whined and Mac stroked her hair, his brow furrowed. Suddenly he understood.
He looked at Jo and whispered, ''Social Services.''
''Oh, Lily...'' Jo sighed and hugged the little girl even more.
''I want to stay with you two.'' Lily uttered in between sobs. She reached for Mac with her arms and he had no choice but to lean closer and hug her, too.
''You'll stay with us.'' He told her quietly.
''You promise?'' She asked and Mac nodded.
''I promise.'' He assured her. He couldn't see the look on Jo's face, but he was close enough to feel how she tensed and straightened herself, detaching herself from him.
''OK.'' Lily nodded and sniffed quietly, visibly calming down.
''Are you alright?'' Jo asked softly, still stroking her hair.
''Yeah.'' Lily confirmed.
''Go to Mac.'' Jo told her and Lily reluctantly moved off her lap, glancing at her hesitantly. ''I need to go to the bathroom.'' Jo added. She stood up and left the room, avoiding Mac's gaze.
After a while Lily calmed down completely and Mac managed to convince her to go and play with Rick. Then he left the bedroom as well and looked for Jo. He found her in the kitchen where she was preparing a cup of tea for herself.
''Is she OK?'' She asked without turning around.
''Yes, she is. And you?'' He asked.
''What do you mean?''
''Well... you left rather... unexpectedly.'' Mac said, weighting his words. ''I mean, just now. Although...''
She suddenly turned around and glared at him. ''Do you think it's wise to make promises that you aren't sure you will be able to keep?'' She asked bluntly. He froze, wondering whether she was referring to what he had told Lily or to some other promise he could possibly have made to Jo herself. ''You shouldn't tell her that.'' She added and it became clear to him what she was talking about.
''What was I supposed to tell her, then?'' Mac asked resignedly. ''The truth? That it's possible that she and Rick will end up with some other family?'' He continued, sounding slightly too angry even for his own liking. He took a deep breath. ''All I wanted was to calm her down.'' He added.
''I know.'' Jo nodded. ''I'm just saying that you shouldn't promise something which isn't entirely up to you.''
''You sound like you don't believe that the judge will decide to place Lily and Rick with us.'' Mac said slowly, watching her carefully and trying to read her, but she was too good at keeping her emotions in check. ''I think our chances are rather high. The kids really like us, we've done good job taking care of them. There's not a single reason to let another family adopt them instead of you and me.''
''Instead of you and me or instead of us?'' She asked. It sounded like an innocent question, but Mac knew very well it wasn't.
''Do you really think it will make such a big difference?'' He asked.
''You want to know what I think?'' Jo answered with a question. ''I think that the judge made a rather unusual decision to place the kids with two people who are no more than friends. And I think he based that decision on his belief that before the kids' placement became permanent we would be more than friends and his decision would make sense.'' Jo explained and he was able to catch the hint of nervousness in her voice. ''I'm pretty damn sure that he will ask again if we're together, because that's what he hoped for in a way.''
Mac frowned slightly upon hearing her. She did have a point. But there was another thing that he had to know.
''Have you hoped for this as well?'' He asked. An intense emotion crossed her face, but she quickly managed to compose herself and rebuild her façade.
''What kind of difference does it make now?'' Jo asked, her voice as detached as it could be.
''I want to know.'' He insisted. She looked him in the eye and for a second he regretted that he had asked this question. Her eyes looked so different. There was no sign of this spark that was usually dancing in them when she glanced at him. They looked empty, making it impossible for him to see anything in them.
''It doesn't matter now.'' Jo said unnaturally calm. ''You made a decision for both of us.'' She took her mug and wanted to leave the kitchen, but he barred her way.
''I only wanted to take things slow.'' He explained, but she just snorted in response. ''I wasn't sure how you feel... about it all. I mean...'' He took a deep breath, preparing himself for the truth, no matter how painful it was. ''… I wasn't sure how you feel about me.'' He finally admitted. For a brief moment the usual softness flickered in her eyes, but then she furrowed her eyebrows, making it disappear.
''Do you even remember anything from that night?'' She asked virulently. ''I was all over you! Ready to have sex with you!'' She said in a raised voice and he briefly wondered if it was loud enough for the kids to hear. ''What do you think? That I was drunk or something?'' She paused as if she was waiting for him to answer, but when he didn't she stretched out her left hand and pushed him to the side. ''You're an idiot.'' She added as she walked past him.
He frowned, trying to comprehend what she had just said. Of course he remembered that night. How could he not? The way she had kissed him. How she had pressed her body against his. She was right, it had left no doubts. She had wanted him. He smirked at the realization. But his smile faded away as quickly as it had appeared. She had wanted him and he had left her yearning and unsatisfied.
''God, I really am an idiot...'' He sighed.
. . .
The rest of the day was strange. Jo locked herself in the bedroom, leaving it only to help the kids get ready for bed. It was almost midnight when Mac decided that he needed some rest, too. When he entered the bedroom, the lights were already turned off and Jo seemed to be sleeping. He didn't want to disturb her, so he took his pillow and the blanket and went back to the living room. He lay down on the couch and as soon as he closed his eyes, he fell asleep.
At 5 a.m. he was woken up by the sound of Jo's phone ringing. She had a short conversation and then she turned on the lights in the bedroom. He could hear how she bustled around for a couple of minutes, then finally she left the bedroom. He glanced at her and noticed that she was fully dressed and ready to leave.
''A dead body in Central Park.'' She sighed. ''And I'm on call.''
''Sorry for that.'' Mac murmured as he was more than aware he was the one who was responsible for putting her on call tonight. She stopped for a moment and looked at him. Her eyes swept over the pillow and the blanket, but she didn't make any comment on it.
''It's not your fault, but the killer's.'' She told him with a shrug of her shoulders.
''True. But still...''
''Keep an eye on the kids.'' She added, heading for the doors.
''You do remember about the meeting with Judge Collins at 2 p.m.?'' He reminded her, sitting up.
''Yup. I'll meet you there. Bye!'' She said and left the apartment in a hurry.
The moment she left, he regretted that he hadn't offered to go instead of her, as he was sure, that he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep anyway. But then, she probably wouldn't have agreed on that either. He got up, walked to the window and looked outside. It was still dark. Too early even for a very early run. He sighed. He thought about going to the kitchen and fixing himself something to drink, but on his way there he changed his mind and decided to check on the kids.
He quietly entered Rick's room and saw that the boy slept with a heavy book lying on his duvet, which Mac took away and placed on Rick's desk. Then he checked on Lily. She was sleeping on her back, with her arms up, which made Mac smile as she presented a perfect picture of reckless abandon. Mr. Whiskers was lying on the floor, muzzle down and looking rather pitiful, so Mac picked him up and placed him beside Lily. Once in front of Ellie's room he hesitated slightly. After all she wasn't a kid anymore, but a young lady. And what was even more important, she wasn't his kid. But that didn't mean she didn't need to be taken care of. He slowly pushed the door open and glanced inside. Ellie was also fast asleep, curled in a ball, with her duvet kicked off the bed completely. He shook his head. It seemed she was a restless sleeper, just like Jo. He gently covered her and left the room. He made himself a cup of tea and went back to the living room to watch the news.
It was slightly after 7 a.m. when Lily walked into the living room, dragging Mr. Whiskers along the floor by its ear. Looking at the sight Mac couldn't decide which one of them looked more miserable.
''Hi, sweetie. Why are you up so early?'' Mac asked her, but she only shrugged her shoulders in response. ''Come here.'' He added and opened his arms for her. She slowly walked towards him and climbed onto the couch. He watched her carefully. She looked worried and sad. Mac lightly tickled her foot and she looked up at him. He pouted, thinking that it would make her smile, but it didn't. ''Are you hungry?'' He asked and she shook her head slowly. ''I bought your favorite strawberry cereal...'' He tempted her, but Lily only shook her head again. ''No? How about pancakes? Would you like me to make some?''
''No.'' Lily told him quietly. ''I'm not hungry.'' She added. He frowned upon hearing it.
''You're not sick, are you?'' Mac asked, getting more and more worried by the second. He placed his hand flat on her forehead. ''You don't seem to have a fever...'' He murmured.
''Can we watch ponies?'' She asked in a quiet voice.
''Sure.'' Mac agreed and switched to the channel with cartoons. He felt how Lily cuddled to his side and he put his arm around her. He wished he could do something to cheer her up. It was breaking his heart to see her like this. All he wanted was for everything to be as it had been to be only a few days ago – Lily to be a cheerful little girl, who was smiling without any reason and always up to mischief. And Jo to be his best friend, who could make everything easier and make him feel sure of himself.
Then he thought about losing that all irreparably. He couldn't even imagine it might happen. True, he wasn't prepared for this new situation at all at the beginning. But he had taught himself to deal with it all and now the idea of going back to his old life seemed so unreal. He had no idea how it would be possible for him to go on without it all. Without Lily's cuddles and putting her to bed after she fell asleep in some random place. Without Rick's questions about science and watching the Discovery Channel with him. Even without Ellie, her math homework and all the teenage drama. And without Jo... He sighed.
After watching two episodes of 'My Little Pony' Rick joined them in the living room. Only then did Lily agree on eating breakfast. With a little help from Rick, Mac made French toast, eggs and bacon. As soon as the delicious smell wafted through the air, Ellie entered the kitchen and announced that she was starving.
''So what should we do today?'' Mac asked, taking a bite of his bacon.
''I'm grounded.'' Ellie reminded him. ''That doesn't leave us with too many possibilities.''
''Oh, right.''
''Although... I was thinking... maybe I could have a friend over?'' She asked cautiously.
''Well... I don't think it violates the rules of 'groundation'.'' Mac told her with a light smile.
''Cool.'' Ellie said, smiling back at him. ''We'll work on the project for summer school.'' She added and Mac nodded.
''How about you, guys?'' He asked Lily and Rick in a joking tone. ''Any plans?''
''Actually... Tyler promised to take me to the park and practice baseball with me.'' Rick told Mac. ''He should be here around 10 a.m.''
''OK.'' Mac nodded. ''How about you, princess? You're going to leave me, too?'' He asked and made a sad face.
''No.'' She shook her head and slid off her chair. ''I'm going to stay with you.'' She told him and he picked her up and placed her on his lap.
''Good to hear.'' He said and kissed her head.
''What time will mom be back?'' Ellie asked, he eyes glued to the phone screen.
''We have a meeting with the judge at 2 p.m. I'm not sure how long it will take, but I think we'll be home around 4 p.m.'' Mac told her.
''OK!'' Ellie answered and left the kitchen in a hurry.
''What's with all this hustle...'' Mac wondered aloud.
''I dunno.'' Lily answered with a shrug of her shoulders.
After a while it was clear that 'around 10 a.m.' actually meant 11.10 a.m. for Tyler, as at this exact hour he buzzed the intercom.
''It's Tyler.''
''Hi, Tyler. Come in.'' Mac told him and pushed the button, opening the door for him.
''I'll wait here. Just tell Rick I'm waiting for him.''
''He's getting ready. You can wait for him upstairs.''
''Yyy... Is mom home?'' He asked.
''No, she's at work.''
''Oh, OK.'' Tyler said and Mac had a feeling that he let out a relieved breath. He frowned slightly, not sure what it all meant.
When Tyler got upstairs Rick was already ready to go.
''I brought you my old baseball glove.'' Tyler told him. ''It will probably be too big, but it's better than nothing.'' He added and handed it to Rick, who tried it on instantly. ''We can take Lily as well, if you want.'' He offered to Mac.
''Well... I'm not sure if that's a good idea. You'll be busy playing and it would be hard to keep an eye on her.'' Mac expressed his concern.
''Amy can watch her. It's not a problem.'' Tyler explained.
''Amy?'' Mac asked with a frown. ''I didn't know that she was supposed to come today...
''Umm... She's going with us not as your nanny... But as my girlfriend.'' Tyler admitted shyly. He looked at Mac, gauging his reaction. Mac raised his eyebrows upon hearing him, as he couldn't believe it at first. But it all made sense to him as he thought about that night when Tyler and Amy had watched the kids together. He smirked slightly.
''Well, good for you.'' He told Tyler. ''She's really a lovely girl.''
''I think so, too.'' Tyler nodded with a smile. ''But mom totally freaked out when I told her.''
''She did, huh?'' Mac murmured. ''Give her some time, she'll deal with it.'' He assured him.
''I hope.'' Tyler sighed. ''Because I really think it's something serious this time.'' He added and Mac smiled.
''Are we going?'' Rick asked, getting slightly inpatient.
''Wait a minute, buddy.'' Mac told him. ''Lily, do you want to go to the park with Rick, Tyler and Amy?'' He asked.
''Yeah!'' Lily nodded, visibly cheering up.
''So put on your shoes and your sweater.'' Mac told her. He helped her get dressed and she grabbed Mr. Whiskers.
''OK, so we're going. Bye!'' Tyler said, and they left.
Mac closed the door after them and he didn't even make it to the kitchen, when the doorbell rang. He wondered what they could possibly have forgotten, but when he opened the door, he saw a tall, handsome young man in front of him. He looked rather surprised to see Mac.
''How can I help you?'' Mac asked with a frown.
''I'm... I'm Ellie's friend.'' He told him shyly.
''Oh...'' Mac murmured, suddenly understanding why Ellie was so eager to work on the project at the very beginning of her summer holidays. ''Come in. I'm Mac.'' He told him and he held out his hand.
''Andy.'' The boy introduced himself, shaking Mac's hand nervously. ''You're Ellie's... dad, sir?''
''No, I'm not...'' Mac shook his head. ''But... I'm taking care of her, so...'' He said, making a significant pause. At first it dismayed Andy slightly, but quickly he understood and he nodded a few times. ''Tell me something about yourself, Andy.'' Mac asked him, scrutinizing the boy.
''Well... I'm a high school senior. I play on the same soccer team as Ellie. I moved here from Wyoming in the winter and I didn't know anyone, but I met Ellie and she's so nice... So we hang out together.'' He finished and Mac noticed that with his every word his face was getting more and more red.
''So you're 18?'' Mac asked him.
''Yes, sir.'' Andy confirmed.
''You don't have to call me 'sir'.'' Mac told him with a smirk.
''Oh, OK, sir.'' Andy nodded. ''I mean... OK...'' He hesitated.
''Mac.'' Mac suggested.
''Mac.'' Andy repeated after him.
''Ellie's room is that way, the third on the left.'' Mac showed him the direction.
''Thank you, sss... Mac.'' Andy said and quickly walked away.
Mac shook his head slightly. He was sure Jo wouldn't be happy about this, either.
. . .
Mac was pacing along the corridor nervously. He glanced at his watch again. 2.07 p.m. Jo was already 7 minutes late. He sighed, getting slightly irritated. He covered the distance two more times before he heard the familiar pounding of footsteps. He turned around in time to see Jo rushing down the corridor.
''Sorry, I couldn't leave the lab.'' She apologized. ''Are we going in?'' She asked, placing her hand on the doorknob and turning around to glance at Mac.
''Yes. I was waiting for you.'' Mac told her.
They entered the office and soon the secretary asked them into the judge's office.
''Detective Danville, Detective Taylor, nice to see you again.'' The judge greeted them. ''As you have probably guessed, I wanted to see you in order to make a final decision on the adoption of Lily and Rick Cooper.'' The judge explained and they both nodded. ''How are the kids doing?'' He asked casually, but at the same time he watched Jo and Mac carefully.
''They're doing really well.'' Jo told him with a smile. ''Rick managed to settle in at a new school. He's one of the best students in the class, all the teachers praise him.''
''That's good.'' The judge said with a smile. ''And the little girl?''
''Well... She had some troubles sleeping, but it's much better now. She sleeps alone and has nightmares very rarely now. She goes to preschool and she has no problem with staying there when we both have to work.'' Mac said, not even aware of the smile that was on his face when he was talking about Lily.
''I can see that she stole your heart, Detective.'' The judge told him with a smirk.
''What can I say? She's a really sweet child.'' Mac admitted.
''Yeah, I'm completely aware how she can wind you around her little finger.'' He laughed. ''I have three daughters. The youngest is now 8 years old. Before she was born I thought I knew all the tricks and wouldn't be such an easy victim. But then I looked into her big brown eyes and it became clear to me that she'd be the most spoiled child on earth.'' The judge finished with a smile that strangely matched Mac's. ''Anyway, you should keep an eye on those two, Detective.'' He told Jo. ''Because I'm sure that Detective Taylor is already unable to tell Lily 'no'.''
''You're so right about that.'' Jo answered with laughter.
''OK. And how does your daughter deal with the whole situation?'' The judge asked Jo.
''To be honest, better than I thought she would.'' Jo admitted. ''She always wanted to be a big sister and she really likes Rick and Lily. She completely supported the idea of us moving in together and...''
''You both live together now?'' The judge interrupted her.
''Yes. We sold our apartments and we bought a bigger one.'' Jo told him and he smiled in response.
''So you truly are a family already...'' He murmured. ''A couple of friends with three children...'' He added quietly, almost as if he was talking to himself. Then he opened the file he had in front of him and read through it slowly.
''Actually...'' Mac started, but he broke off as Jo glared at him.
''Yes?'' Judge Collins asked, looking up at him from the file.
''No, no, nothing.'' Mac shook his head and became silent.
''I'll be honest with you – the relationship between you two is what bothers me the most.'' The judge admitted. ''Of course, you could say it's not my business. But in my opinion it is essential for the stability of your future family.'' He continued. He closed the file, placed it aside and reached for the other one. ''There is another couple who would like to adopt Lily and Rick.'' He revealed and Jo and Mac exchanged their looks. ''They're in their forties. They lost a child and they can't have another one. In short, they've been though a lot. Their relationship was put to the test and it only grew stronger.'' He finished and scanned through the file. ''Sure, you can say that it would be difficult for the kids to get accustomed to the new parents. But they did get accustomed to you, so with all the love they would get, they would be fine.''
Mac swallowed hard upon hearing it. It was so painful to imagine Lily and Rick being adopted by another couple. For him it would mean going back to a lonely and sorrowful life. Without anybody to take care of, without anybody to love. Without Jo. He couldn't let it happen.
''Well, to be honest...'' Mac started with hesitation. ''We're more than just friends.'' He uttered. ''We're not very eager to admit it, as you probably know it's against department policy.'' He added quickly to justify his sudden confession. But he had a feeling it wasn't enough to convince the judge. It all could still be lost. But he had one more card to play. He took a deep breath and finished, ''And I was going to ask Jo to marry me.''
As soon as he said those words a perfect silence hung in the air. He was too scared to glance at Jo and check her reaction. Instead of that he looked at the judge. His mouth hung open for a moment. Then he leaned back in his chair and slapped his knees.
''I knew it!'' He exclaimed with heartfelt laughter. ''From the very first minute I met you I knew there was something between you two!'' He said and smiled widely at Mac. Then he looked at Jo and, even though Mac wasn't sure how it was possible, his smile grew even bigger. ''How funny that the one who is the most surprised here is your lady.'' He told Mac and he nodded his head towards Jo. Only then did Mac gather the courage to look at her. She didn't look surprised. She looked utterly shocked. Her eyes were wide opened and fixed on him. For anybody who didn't know her it would look like she was positively overcome by his sudden proposal. But there was one tiny little detail that didn't escape Mac's attention, which was telling him he was really in trouble – her nostrils were flaring. She tried to keep her emotions in check, but he knew her too well. She was furious.
. . .
A/N Sorry for the delay, but life got really busy and also I had some troubles with this chapter – it seemed to be fighting back at every step and I really hope it isn't visible in the final outcome.
Anyway, many thanks to UrbanMuse for correcting it in a flash :)
Thank you for all the comments – I really appreciate them, as I got the feeling that everybody (including me...) gave up on this story already.
I wonder if you can guess which of what Mac said were the truths and which was a lie ;)