Note: For a very nice and fluffy Sesshomaru, please kindly look elsewhere. My Sesshomaru is dark and twisted, while not apparent in alpha, will be very visible in beta. Be warned.

This set is Sesshomaru centric (at last!).

40 Fear

He thought he smelled blood, but then again he could not be sure. As part of his natural instincts, he followed the trail that his senses brought him and there she was – lying helplessly in a pool of blood and a couple of hungry wolves crowding around feasting on her… Rin! Sesshomaru wakes up from his dream with a jerk.

No matter how powerful he is, no matter how many swords he would acquire, no matter how big his empire may get, none of these could ever take away his fear of losing her.

41 Jealousy

When he closed his eyes, what he saw comes to him as clear as if it is taking place right in front of his eyes again. He opened his eyes sharply and punched into the ground. As he repeatedly hammered his fist into the ground, it cracked into two. Everything that was alive in the ground died upon receiving the brunt of his (acidic) fury.

Rin, this is not over yet. He etched his resolve at the back of his head over and over. (That she belittled how much she meant to him, that she could unhinge him to such an extent, and that now he felt as if he needed her more than he needed air – simply made him want to hate her.) As he brooded on the intimate behavior of his ward and Kohaku, he clenched both his fists tightly and let his sharp claws dig into his own flesh to feel the sensation of burning acid.

Blood seeped beneath his claws and lingered there for days.

42 Asset

First, it was Jaken.

"Sesshomaru-sama, that human girl Rin has been following us around for a few weeks now, isn't it time to get rid of her?" You kept quiet. "May I ask why is she traveling with us?" You did not feel as if you owed him an explanation.

After a few years, he asked again. "Sesshomaru-sama, is Rin not getting too old to stay with us? Isn't it time to leave her with her own kind?" You ignored him as usual. "Sesshomaru-sama, I don't understand. Why do you insist on keeping Rin with you?" You were baffled by his ignorance. You questioned how was it that he could serve you for so long and yet not know the reason (but then again, it was really none of his business – his job was to do as he was told, not to ask questions unnecessarily).

Second, it was your mother.

"Sesshomaru, what is this human girl to you?" You did not think it was necessary to spell out something this obvious, so the only thing you said to her was, "What is your answer to my request?"

After a few years, she asked again. "Sesshomaru, what is the matter with you?" she sighed. "You are the lord of the Western lands, why are you…" she took a deep breath, "wasting your time on something like Rin-chan? Shouldn't you put your energies into more important matters?" You looked at her in utter disbelief, wondering how was it that she could be your mother and yet this lacking in perception, so you coolly replied, "You've never been much of a mother to me before, so don't bother to try to be one now."

Then there was Zesshinmaru.

"Sesshomaru, you are really a strange one. I don't think I can ever understand why why why do you keep a useless human like her as your pet for so many years. Don't tell me that you planning to keep her forever?" You never thought much of him, so you walked past him without even looking.

Is it really so difficult to see that the reason why you need her to stay by your side is because she is your foremost strength, your greatest asset?

43 Knowledge

To you, dissecting people (or demons) in your mind is more than a second nature ingrained in you – it is actually a hobby, something that you like to do for fun. Nothing feels more satisfying than the knowledge of the other's weakness and every hidden fear.

In your view, there are basically three types of people in this world. People whom you place in the first group are allocated there mainly because of the aversion that they could somehow arouse in you (basically you consider yourself rather peace-loving – you have little interest in engaging yourself in business that do not concern you, but some people simply like to look for trouble). These people are the ones whom you normally devote the most time and effort in scrutinizing their mind and behavioral patterns. Luckily these are the same people who have the shortest life-span (oh yes, your death list is written into the stone) so they get erased quickly after being placed there, making room in your mind for you to ruminate other things.

People in the second group are a dubious lot. Your feelings towards this group is utmost ambivalent as on the one hand you hate to be associating with them (or to be associated with them), yet on the other hand it is inevitable for you to be linked to them (the most tricky part is when you are related to them by blood), so you mull over them sometimes when you have nothing better to do. But due to the non-hostile and non-threatening nature of these people to you (actually sometimes the reason is because their intelligence is so blatantly limited), you forbid yourself from wasting too much time musing about them (although the truth is that you could not care less).

People from the last group are the ones who mean something to you (by the way, for those not found in any of the three lists, they are as good as non-existent as far as you are concerned). It is a rather simple list as it is extremely infrequent that you put anyone there, hence once anyone makes it there, everything about that person would be contemplated by you inside out and outside in – not because you have to, but plainly because you enjoy thinking about her. Interestingly, when you analyze someone that long, it becomes even easy to evoke a reaction. Especially when it is someone as straightforward as her.

Like how you want to taste the warmth of her mouth but yet not prepared to ask. So one day you bewilder her by coming very close to her and then pull away slightly (you let her catch you drop your eye a bit.). You regard her intently. She is shy and meek as she always has been when you study her like this. You smirk behind your cool façade as you watch her blush, hear her heartbeat fasten, feel the deep but nervous thrill run through her body – you know her so well that you do not pull back and simply waited. Soon she is kissing you the way you want her to (and you can barely contain your smile at the thought of knowing how to take her apart and put her back).

You promise yourself that you would make her do it again.

44 Intruder

Rin opened her eyes blearily to stare at the ceiling. The sound of the impact of rain on the tile woke her. She has always been a light sleeper that rain striking the roof would most of the time wake her up in the middle of the night. As the erratic sound picked up more tempo and pitch, she realized that she could not simply close her eyes and go back to sleep. She pushed herself up onto her elbows and looked around her darkened room through the hazy vision of her sleepy eyes. She rubbed her eyes a little and let out a soft sigh. Stress from the day had tired her out so much that she had fell asleep earlier as soon as she hit the sack, but now that she was awake, she had the feeling that she would not be falling asleep anytime soon.

At this point, a loud crack of thunder echoed through the vacuous hallways. Rin let out a startled bleat and quickly retreated back into the comfort of her futon. She had always been petrified of thunder, however in the past when she could snuggle against him for comfort, thunder did not seem so terrifying then.

Tomorrow she would have to leave, but then again, perhaps "today" was already "tomorrow". She peered at the sight outside the window sadly – she had felt so alone the past three days and now it seemed that even kami-sama had abandoned her. Thoughts of the day flowed into her mind as she pondered about the future. Letting out a deep sigh, she closed her eyes and decided that she should force herself to go back to sleep instead of thinking over issues that had already been determined (she had already done too much of that in the day). Her only regret was that she had not said goodbye to him. "Would I see him again?" she wondered.

She shivered in her futon as a chilly draft flowed through the open window. As she sat up in annoyance, the thought that she did close the window before retiring into her futon came to her. Shaking her head, she dismissed the thought and decided that maybe she did not after all. She got out of her warm futon reluctantly and crossed the room towards the window (the floor was wet, but she did not let that bother her). She had wanted to close the window immediately, but standing at it, she was captivated by the unsettling sight of trees swaying and bending in the direction of the winds. Tears welled up in her eyes – she felt exactly like the trees, being pushed around by circumstances and bent about by people around her. She blinked hard to stop the tears from spilling onto her cheeks. She had cried so much over the past few weeks and especially over the past few days. She decided that she had enough of crying. Crying was a sign of weakness – she was starting to hate herself for being this weak.

"What did you do to your hair?" a low voice sounded behind her.

Rin's heart thumped as she turned. For the next few moments, she and her intruder, who was dripping wet, regarded each other silently.

"You are all wet." She reached out to wipe off droplets of water on his face gingerly.

"Short hair looks nice on you." He raised his hand to brush her hair from her face gently.

His mere touch made her dizzy. In her eyes, there was longing.

As if reading her mind, he seized her hand and threaded his fingers between hers.

(To be continued)

End chapter note: Every time when I type the name "Kohaku", my heart always skips a beat - because I thought that he is going to die on me somewhere in the manga series, and it would become really strange using a dead character in my story. Hmm, but it seems that Kohaku would not be dying after all (!?), I guess it is still possible that he competes with Sesshomaru for Rin... haha.
Response to reader:

People remark that my writing is quite confusing to follow. Concept of this series is that there are three types of drabbles, namely (1) character building/psychological break-down drabbles, (2) general Sessrin moments (most of the time have nothing to do with the story development) and (3) story-line dictated drabbles. In every set I try to give a balanced distribution of all three types of drabbles.

Type (1) drabbles are: #1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 12, 20, 22, 29, 30, 31, 40, 42, 43.

Type (2): #11, 18, 23, 24, 37, 39.

Type (3): #4, 6, 7, 9, 10, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 19, 21, 25, 26, 27, 28, 32, 33, 34 (story A), 35, 36, 38 (story B), 41, 44 (B).

I hope this helps!

Mood: cheerful