I've become so numb, I can't feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more aware.
I'm becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you.
Numb – Linkin Park
We found the clearing where we spent most of the full moon and spread the checked picnic blanket out on the ground. You could still tell where we had rolled around, ply fighting, the leaves were scattered in every direction and there were scuffle marks on the ground. But we didn't mind, I was happy in Derek's company, he made me feel warm inside and, for the first time since my family's death, I was truly happy - with Derek.
He was staring at me as I took out the picnic. It was so sweet, little ham and cheese sandwiches and iced tea. When I looked up at him, he just kept staring, I didn't realise he was talking until a few seconds later. "-were killed by hunters too. She was called Kate and she used me to get to my family. It's all my fault and I hate myself for it, I was too dumbstruck to notice that she had me wrapped around her little finger," I never imagined that Derek would open up like this; not to me anyway.
"She burnt my home down when my sister and I were at school," his voice had gone sad talking about it, I knew that his uncle, Peter was the only survivor and had killed Laura to become Alpha. "People in that fire were human, not even like us. Some of them were children!" I could tell that his anger was rising rapidly so I put a comforting hand on his bicep, showing that I was there for him.
Instead of moving away, like I expected him to, he leaned into my touch and stopped speaking. I guess he wanted me to return the favour.
o.O.o
I'm chasing my sister through our house, coming to a stop in the kitchen where mum is making dinner. "Mummy, what's for dinner?" Ida asks, but instead of giving us a straight answer, my mother just smiles and taps the side of her nose. It's Ida's birthday and she's been dying to know what she gets to eat for days now. As my sister sets off, I stick my tongue out at mum for teasing her and set off. As I run, I can hear her laughing behind me, her lovely, high laugh.
Ida's in the living room now, a six year old, finally tired. The rest of the family are in the living room, watching Finding Nemo surprisingly – I never thought my Uncles could stomach to watch a cartoon. Well I suppose, it is Ida's favourite film so it's mandatory really.
"Yo –" my cousin's question is cut off by rapid gunfire coming from all directions. Shit. Ida is screaming her head off so I go over to her and cradle her in my arms to try to stop her from crying. An attack has never happened in my lifetime, but I knew what to do. I just needed to follow mum's instructions; she's the Alpha female after all.
"Aspen! Take Ida and go! Out the back!" Considering we're the only kids, we're first priority. Tears are streaming down my face as my entire family 'wolfs out' and hunters storm the living room. I run down to the basement with Ida, unseen in the flurry of bullets that are taking down my family – one by one. I don't bother to turn on the lights, I know the way by heart after countless trials if anything like this were to happen. But before we can make our escape, a hunter kicks open the door with a gun in hand. I can smell the wolf's bane on him.
"I got the kids!" He yells to the others and I notice he has a slight accent. Upstairs, somebody tells him to bring us up. I bare my elongated teeth at him, not wanting to drop Ida but not wanting to go down without a fight. He just laughs and slaps something onto my bare wrists, wolf's bane laced handcuffs. I scream in pain but don't drop Ida. Unfortunately, he shoots me in the foot so that I do drop Ida and hits me over the head with the butt of his gun, knocking me out cold.
o.O.o
Hours later, I wake up, handcuffed to a metal wiring system. They've taken my top off, leaving my bra on to attach two wires to my belly. What the hell are they for? "Aspen! Oh god honey you're okay, you're alive!" I look around at the sound of my mum's voice. She's in the room, in a similar position to me.
"Mum, where's Ida?" If he killed her, if any of them have, they will pay. My mother just nods next to me where Ida is also handcuffed to the wiring. She's alive but knocked out, like I must have been just minutes before. The sight of her like that, bruised and handcuffed, on her birthday no less, leaves me numb inside.
As the tears fall down my face, I listen for her heartbeat, she's alive. I don't know whether to feel relieved or disappointed, what pain will she have to endure? What will they do to her, to us? I turn around at the huge metal door opening and the same man who caught us coming through. He has a scar above his lip, white against his tanned skin and a buzz cut. He looks like he belongs in an army film. In his fingers, he holds a cigarette, burning away and filling my nostrils with acrid smoke.
"Oh goody, you're awake, just in time for the show," this is directed to me but I don't know what he's talking about. Where's my dad? He was in the house, wrapping the last of Ida's presents upstairs. He's the Alpha! He should have been able to do something!
One of the others, a woman with dyed brown hair pulled back into a ponytail turns a dial on a box in the corner. Before I can even begin to wonder what it's for, 900 volts of electricity course through my body, shocking me. "Ida!" I scream, hoping that she will stay knocked out.
The woman back hands me across my face, a look of hate in her eyes as she tells me to shut up. She turns it off when she leaves a while later, leaving us to the aftershocks from the pain. "M-m-mum? Where's dad?" I ask her through my tears but when I see her face, I know, I know that he's dead.
"They all died honey, they died protecting us." The sobs are uncontrollable as my body convulses until I am numb. Unfeeling, lost.
o.O.o
When the woman comes back, she brings a kid; he must be my age with sloppy brown hair that falls over his face, covering his light brown eyes. When he sees us, chained to the wiring, his eyes must grow wide but I don't notice that, I only see the smile as he turns the dial on the box back up to 900.
Next to me, Ida is shocked awake but her eyes are glazed over. Not seeing anything – dead. The pain must have been too much for her young body to handle so she shut down. I hate that kid and his family, the killed the things that gave me happiness in this world for being different.
I see red as I push through the pain, feeding the anger to help me change. When I do, I leap onto the woman, seeing her as the bigger threat. Thank god none of them are armed and it's only them in the room. I bite into the woman's neck and keep hold, waiting until I can't hear her heartbeat anymore.
The boy calls out for others, who quickly storm into the room. The guy, who must be his dad, shoots me with a wolf's bane bullet but it doesn't deter me. Not now, when I only have the urge to kill.
"Kill the mother! Let's see how well she does then!" the rest of the hunters shoot at my mother over and over until I know she is dead. I am unfeeling, numb, I know the pain will come later but I only have my eyes on the man before me. I kill him like I did his wife and run off. Not wanting to be there when they realise I am missing.
o.O.o
It is only when I am outside that I slow down, finally feeling the effects of everything, grief and the pain from being tortured, even if it was only for a short time. My mother always told Ida and I that, if, hunters came and we were the only ones left, to howl. Apparently, that would alert the pack emissary and they will come to help.
So I howl a long mournful howl that leaves me exhausted. I limp over to a pile of leaves and bury myself underneath them, shielding myself from sight before I pass out, dead to the world.
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Anyway, we have the flashback!
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-Effie