AN: Blue Turtle of AWESOMENESS was the 10th reviewer. She requested "I will never do experiments with Eren-titan's emotions." I haven't finished it yet, but that will be the next chapter. Also, I think I'm going to put off the ski resort special since we're heading into summer soon, after all.(That is, if you live in the U.S.) Thanks to the guest reviewers; you guys are great!

10. I will not produce commercials within the walls.

"Ready? Action!" Eren leaned back in his director's chair, as Armin maneuvered the camera, ready to film their new commercial.

"Hi Levi!" Petra exclaimed. Then her facial expression turned from one of joy to one of disgust. "Ew! What happened to your hair? It looks soooo bad!"

Levi recited his lines in a monotone similar to that of someone reading out of a textbook. "Fighting titans is a pretty cool job. But it can lead to really bad hair days. How do I fight titans, while still looking good?"

"I have the answer!" Suddenly a man swooped down on 3DMG. His hair was golden, glossy, and perfectly shaped. Its beauty was enough to bring tears to one's eyes.

"My name is Erwin Smith! Have you ever wondered why I am so much better than you?! It's because I use Erwin's Titan-Slaying Hair Spray! It keeps my hair looking great all day, even when I'm flying around killing titans!"

Hearts gleamed in Petra's eyes. "Wow, Erwin! Your hair is soooo fabulous! You're soooo much hotter than Levi!" She leapt into Erwin's arms and kissed his cheek.

"Aw, darn." said Levi boredly.

"Don't worry, Levi!" Erwin cried. He tossed his comrade a bottle of hair spray. "With this product you can be as cool as me!"

"Wow. Thanks."

"Remember!" Erwin winked at the camera and smiled. "If you're going to be devoured by a bloodthirsty monster, at least do it in style!"

11. I will not breed wild Levi fangirls.

"Here it is Eren! My newest experiment!"

"S-Squad Leader Hanji! I think you've gone too far this time! Titans are one thing, but these...these monsters-they will be the true end to humanity!"

"Exactly! They're worse than Titans. So if we handle them properly...we can unleash one beast against another, and bring peace to mankind!"

"I guess you have a point..."

"Besides, they can be kinda cute! Look at this one." Hanji nudged one of her specimens toward Eren. The creature stared up at him with wide, innocent eyes.

"Aw, yeah I guess she is pretty adorable," Eren admitted as he pat the creature on the head. "I bet even that cold-hearted Corporal couldn't resist such a-" Suddenly the formerly docile creature tackled him to the ground and began hitting him ruthlessly, screaming on the top of her lungs.

"Ow! Hanji, get her off!"

"Eren, you can never insult Levi in front of them!" Hanji shouted as she wrestled the attacker off. "Say something good about him to calm her down."

"Um…I really like Levi. He's um, a good leader and stuff." The creature stopped growling, but she still eyed Eren warily.

"Say he's sexy," Hanji hissed.

"WHAT?!"

"Just do it!"

"Oh...Levi has, um, nice eyes...and he is...sexually appealing-not to me! I mean, he probably is...to some females." The poor cadet's face was now bright red, but the wild creature had finally settled down. She bobbed her head enthusiastically in agreement, then wandered away to join the rest of her kind.

Eren and Hanji barely had time to sigh in relief, before the door was flung open.

"I heard screaming. What the hell is going on down here?" The afore-mentioned corporal blinked in surprise as he fully took in his surroundings.

"Why is there...? Hanji, did you kidnap all these adolescent girls?"

Hanji's eyes twinkled with excitement. "These aren't any adolescent girls! They're wild Levi fangirls!"

"What?! Why would you-"

"Levi?" The girl from before gaped at Levi, her eyes bulging out of their sockets.

In perfect unison, every fangirl in the room swiveled their heads to look at the man in the doorway. "Levi?!" they all exclaimed at once.

Levi gulped, Adam's Apple bobbing as he did so. Then he ran.

12. Do not introduce Sasha to fast food.

Sasha peered suspiciously into her Happy Meal. She glanced up at Connie, who was munching happily on a Big Mac.

"My mom told me not to take food from clowns I don't know," she said pointedly. Her friend rolled his eyes.

"He's just a mascot, Sasha."

"Well, I think he's creepy!" Sasha pulled out her container of fries. "And these look nothing like potatoes!"

"I told you, they're cut into pieces," Connie took on the patient tone one used when explaining something to a small child. "And then fried."

Sasha still looked uncertain, but she took a careful nibble of a fry. After a moment, she took a slightly larger bite.

"Well?" Connie prompted.

The brunette looked up at him, eyes shining with unshed tears of joy.

"I have seen the face of God..."

13. The Special Op. Squad did not get a ,"big booboo".

Eren and Levi lighted down next to one of the many massive trees surrounding them. Levi's expression remained unchanging, but Eren's eyes widened in shock when he saw the body lying at its base. Petra appeared to have been flung against the tree, a bold crimson stain in her wake. Her neck was bent backwards at an unnatural angle, and more blood was smeared across her ironically peaceful expression.

"No..." Eren whispered, horrified. "Why did I choose to sit by and watch my comrades be killed!"

Levi snorted. "Drama Queen, much?" He pulled a SpongeBob Squarepants BandAid out of his pocket and stuck it on Petra's forehead. "There. She'll be fine."

AN: Anyone else up to date on the manga? The last few chapters were pretty mind-blowing.