Author's notes: well folks, this is the new chapter. There won't be as much Tony/Gibbs since I concentrated a bit more on Stan… and yes, that means he makes an appearance in this chapter. I also will explain his history with Gibbs so please bear with me. I hope you'll like it.
Oh yeah one more thing. I have no real medical knowledge whatsoever and likely never will have. Please keep that in mind while you read the story.lol
!!! Spoilers for "SWAK" and "Requiem"!!!
JaysEmm: Here you go with the next chapter. I hope you'll like it. Feel free to tell me if you didn't. :-) But also if you did ;-)
Ibuko: I'm glad you liked the waking-up-scene from chapter 4.lol. It was certainly very nice to write ;-) The serious talk-thingy as you call it is coming up now. I hope you'll like it and that it's not over the top. Let me know if you thinks it's too much. :-)
Alysoncf: blush thanks for the lovely review. This story has become my little baby so I'm really anxious and glad when I get positive feedback. If Stan will become an issue fr Tony and Gibbs… well you'll find out soon. Lol ;-) enjoy chapter 5 ::smile::
Kayla-Shay: Relationship angst is coming up now. I hope to not disappoint :-)
Poohbear123 well it was my first cliff-hanger in this story so yeah… lol. I'm not really sorry ;-) and here comes the next chapter, without real cliff-hanger this time ::smile::
SparklingCatseye I'm glad you liked the Stan-issue I introduced. I couldn't leave well enough alone obviously lol. Still it's a great opportunity to, as you say, work a bit with Tony's insecurities. I tried to not make it over the top and I'm a bit anxious as to what people will say so yeah… I did my best :-)
Michi:I'm glad you like my version of Gibbs. They had a nice morning and I had fun writing it.lol. A win/win situation if there ever is one :-) You weren't the only one surprised that Stan was introduced and lost his heart to Gibbs but well, please bear with me. It will affect Tony and Gibbs's relationship but it will also make it stronger. At least that's how I planned things ::smile:: P.S.: no first time yet for Tony. You'll understand after having read this chapter ::hints::
Cup of coffee V
Flipping his cell shut Tony threw it on the table in front of the couch.
What a fucked up situation!
Groaning he let himself fall backwards and closed his eyes. He knew he had to talk to Jethro about all this but right now he didn't exactly know how. He couldn't help but think back upon the night when Stan Burley had confessed his painful history with a man in Washington. He had fallen in love, head over heals. And he had flirted with the object of his desire and affection. One night they had ended up in bed together and Stan had seen his dream come true.
Until the next morning when he had been discarded like a broken piece of furniture.
Two weeks later he transferred, not being able to stay in the same city. Tony had never inquired further, mindful of the pain he could easily make out in the other man's eyes. No he asked himself how stupid he had been to not being able to make the connection.
His thoughts were interrupted when he felt a hand on his knee. Tony opened his eyes to see Jethro in front of him, sitting on the living room table.
Concern shone in the older man's electric blue eyes. "Something wrong?" "I don't know." Tony answered, shrugging his shoulders helplessly. The crease on Jethro's forehead became more prominent, the frown deeper. Taking in Tony's slumped posture he knew that this had to have to do with the phone call. A few minutes ago, when he had come home, all had been fine. It wasn't anymore though.
"Who was on the phone?" he tried a different approach.
"Stan." That one name was enough for Jethro to understand.
"Does he know? Or do you know?" he asked his younger lover warily. He knew that this situation had the potential to seriously damage everything between him and Tony. This could go well or straight to hell. All he knew was that he had to be truthful and careful.
"Both." Again only one word. Monosyllabic. Tony was trying to distance himself, Jethro could tell.
"Can we talk about this? Please?" the older man pleaded. Tony watched him intently, then nodding his consent, patted the spot on the couch next to himself. As Jethro sat down Tony let himself be pulled closer by his lover.
"I didn't want Stan and me to be a secret between us. Not that there really was a "we" when it came to him and me." Jethro started after a short moment of contemplation. "Before you and I got together we were never the type of friends who talked about our past or present love life."
Tony only nodded in agreement but otherwise remained silent.
"I wanted to tell you about it now that we are together. Before I didn't really know your point of view on gays. Now I do but I wasn't quick enough." Jethro sighed. "I'm sorry."
"No, it's ok." Tony replied. "It was pure coincidence that he called me today. He's on shore leave. Trouble between the higher-ups, that kind of thing." He explained. "We became friends after the drug case on his carrier. Couple of phone calls, a few nights out. I knew he had a history with somebody here. I just never made the connection. Until now.
"I hate to say it but for me Stan was never "The One". Jethro sighed deeply. "He was a friend, a good Special Agent and an even better Senior Field Agent. And he was completely in love with me. He worshipped the ground I walked on, it was clear as daylight. One night I took him up on his offer." Jethro shook his head at himself. "The sex was good, perfect maybe even and he thought we were together but for me we never could be anything more than friends. There was no way to let him down gently so I approved and signed the Directors request to have him transferred. I can still see the hurt in his eyes when he got the news. I might have never loved him like a lover but I hated hurting him." The older man paused for a moment, then continued. "When he called me for help as his case got too much I knew it was wrong to agree. Somehow I thought that maybe by helping him I could ease my consciousness… too bad it doesn't work that way. I thought that maybe I could make it up to him by helping but one look at his face when we got there and I knew that I had made a mistake. It was then when we had the final fallout. The antics we put on for you and Kate were nothing else but good acting skills."
Tony nodded but still remained silent. "You mad at me?" Jethro asked hesitantly. Slowly, Tony turned to face his older lover and took in his unsure and somewhat nervous expression.
"No, I'm not mad. But I feel bad for Stan. I found a lover but I get the feeling that I'm about to lose a very good friend. He said we would stay friends but…. He hurts so much. I could feel it every time he talked about you." Tony explained and nudging Jethro he continued. "And I'm not saying that to make you feel bad… or worse for that matter. I'm just stating a fact. Have you ever talked since then?"
Jethro shook his head regretfully. "No. He made it clear that he didn't want to talk to me again, let alone see me and I have to accept that," he told his younger lover.
"But I'll still meet up with him when he's here. I want to talk to him." Tony pointed out.
"Sure", Jethro agreed readily. He didn't want to limit Tony in any way, shape or form. He didn't really like clubbing even though he had sometimes indulged in the past. He didn't want his younger lover to let go of the things he liked doing just because they were involved now. He may be a possessive bastard but he trusted Tony to stay faithful. They were excusive and Tony, he was sure, would respect that.
He was glad that the younger man wasn't mad at him. Stan hadn't meant as much to him then, as Tony did now, he knew that. But knowing about Tony's insecurities, he also was aware that this would have repercussions. Maybe not now but some day this would become an issue, he was sure.
When he felt Tony slightly pull away he knew that it would be now and not later. He waited a bit, gave his lover the chance to gather himself but didn't want to wait too long. He knew that Tony was a trained investigator, a superb Special Agent but sometimes his judgement would be clouded by memories of the past and logical reasoning would fly out of the window.
"What's the matter?" he asked softly, not wanting to startle the young man, still leaning against him.
"Nothing." A lie, Jethro knew that much immediately. The answer had come too quick, the tone had been laced ever so slightly with doubt, only obvious for the marine and Special Agent in him.
"I don't think it's nothing. Something's bothering you." He pried gently.
"I'm so stupid!" Tony uttered in response, something similar to...self-hatred clearly distinguishable in his voice.
"No you're not. Why would you think something like that?" Jethro asked perplexed. Of all the things he had anticipated, this hadn't been on his list.
"Because it's true." Tony stated forcefully before freeing himself from his lover's arms and standing at the opposite wall.
"I don't understand, Tony." Jethro clearly was at a loss as to what to do. Tony's cryptic statements didn't leave him much to work with but it all seemed to make sense in his lover's mind. "Please talk to me." He pleaded.
Tony just shook his head. "I'm such a moron. How could I believe that I…-" he broke off before he could reveal the reason of his turmoil
"What, Tony? What?" Jethro insisted. He had stood up in the meantime but stayed in front of the younger man, mindful of his obvious wish to keep some semblance of a distance.
"That I could be good enough for you." He finally whispered dejectedly.
"Tony, how..?"
"I'm nothing special, Gibbs. I have enough baggage from my childhood for ten people, no experience when it comes to sex with another man. I cannot possibly give you all the things you need. All the things you deserve. There is so much more to Stan than there ever will be to me and he wasn't want you wanted. How can I be even close to anything you deserve? You're too good for me."
Jethro was completely stunned. His heart ached at his lover's obvious distress. He slowly stepped forward and touched Tony's shoulder. The younger man had taken to hugging himself and the picture he presented was heart wrenching.
"Tony, you're everything I want. Everything I need to be happy." He said, the conviction in his voice startling the other man.
"How can I!?" Tony whispered, this time sounding choked.
"God, Tony. Come here." He wrapped his arms around his lover's shaking form and rubbed his back reassuringly. At the same time he started talking.
"You, Tony, are the best thing that could have happened to me. What you lived through during your childhood changes nothing in he way I see you. When I look at you I see an attractive and vibrant young man who always brightens my day and whom I fell in love with. You're not Stan, true; you have no sexual experience with men, but who cares? I don't need you to, to be happy with you. So you never have been a senator's aide, so he might have a few more diplomas than you do. What you give me, your devotion, your trust, your love, that's what matters most to me. I feel more for you than I could ever feel for Stan." He placed a soft kiss on Tony's forehead and grabbed a hand.
Continuing to soothe his lover, he placed it over his heart. "Do you feel it? Feel my heart beat? That's what you do to me. When you scare me on the job it beats so much faster because I'm afraid to loose the best thing that happened to me in a long time, if not ever. When I'm with you, like this or in bed, I'm happy and excited because I took the chance to be with the person I fell in love with. "
He slowly framed Tony's wet face with his hands and looked him deep in the eye. "All I want, all I need is right here in my arms." He finished and placed a warm and chaste kiss on his lover's soft lips. When he felt Tony's body loose all its tension and melt against his, he knew that they had worked past this for the moment. Sighing relieved, he wrapped his arms around Tony again and they stayed in the same position for a long long time, taking comfort of the other's presence and body heat.
Tony and Jethro spent the following days off getting to know each other better. The first crisis had been managed well by both of them and had Tony been embarrassed later, his lover was quick to convince him that there was nothing to be ashamed of.
They went running together, played a few games of pick up basketball and essentially just enjoyed having a good time. Tony had even taken to help Gibbs with the boat and was undeniably fascinated by the lady laying in Jethro's basement. Jethro felt elated and every time he caught his lover touch or look "Kelly" over reverently his heart warmed.
Also in bed thing progressed at a steady pace. They had moved on to mutual handjobs but sometimes just indulged in gentle kissing until they fell asleep. Tony was comfortable and happy with how things came along. Life was good.
Almost too good.
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When a young girl came in to NCIS the day they all started again Tony knew she was bad news. Well maybe not the girl herself but there sure as hell would be trouble. When they finally found out that she was Gibbs's deceased daughter's best friend Tony just knew that his lover would be too emotionally involved to ask for help from the team.
Sitting at his desk, he was lost in thoughts as his cell rang. It was Stan
"Hey there, what can I do for you?" he answered, trying to sound cheerful but he had the distinct impression that he failed. Miserably.
"Hey," Stan started hesitantly and confirmed Tony's suspicions. "You ok?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Never better actually. Where you at?" Tony asked and hoped that the other man would know that couldn't really talk right now.
"Ok shorty, we'll talk later. I'm at the airport right now. Washington. Can I stay at your apartment until you get home?" Stan asked.
"Sure, no problem. You know where the key is. It might be a while until I'll be able to quit for the day but you're welcome to stay as long as you want. Be my guest."
"Thanks man. And watch out, you hear me? No silly stunts!" the other man was serious, that much was obvious but Tony knew that this was a promise he wasn't sure he could make, let alone keep. "I'll try".
"Ok," Stan sighed. "Later, shorty"
Only a few minutes later Tony was in his car, speeding to the address Abby had given him. God he hated when Jethro did that. Why couldn't the other man just ask for help like any other sane person on this planet. Hitting the steering wheel furiously he told himself that the tears welling up in his eyes were from the resulting pain and because he was scared shitless for his boss, friend and lover.
Reaching pier 5 at the Southwestern Marine he arrived just in time to see the whit car drive backwards with breakneck speed, shoot over the pier and sink. With the kind of power that resulted from nothing else but sheer desperation he took down the dirtbags before flinging away his gun, taking a deep breath and jumping into the water.
He hadn't anticipated the water being so excruciatingly cold. His lungs froze up in the initial shock but Tony continued anyhow. Relief flooded through him when he saw the two people in the car but the girl, Maddie her name was, already lost consciousness. Tony came to the only logical conclusion. There must be a problem otherwise Jethro would have gotten her out already. He had to break away the windshield before he could move back up with Maddie and decision of leaving his lover behind was the hardest of his life. Lungs aching for oxygen he finally broke through the surface, left her on the dock and jumped back him for Jethro.
His heart literally stopped when he saw his lover's unmoving and unconscious body. Freeing him as fast as he could Tony again made the journey back to the surface. As soon as he had his lover on the dock he started CPR. He was torn whether to start with his lover or his lover's deceased daughter's best friend but Jethro had been under water for a lot longer than Maddie. The following minutes seemed to be the longest of his life. When he finally saw his lover move as he was in the middle of administering CPR to Maddie he sat back heavily on his haunches and tried to control his erratic breathing.
A fruitless effort. He had exhausted himself beyond the point that was healthy and with history with the plague Tony knew that this couldn't possibly end good for him. "The heck. Jethro and the girl will live. That's the most important." He muttered to himself. Growing increasingly cold he wanted to get up and retrieve one of the dirtbag's cell and call ambulances and backup.
Tony's body had other ideas though. His knees buckled and he hit the floor again, a lot harder than he had anticipated as soon as he felt himself falling. He felt his body start to shut down and tried to keep the darkness at bay.
"Tony?" Jethro croaked and the younger man looked at his lover questioningly.
"You cold?" Tony asked with the last of his energy.
The older man just shook his head and softly whispered "I'm sorry."
"No worries." Smiling, Tony cupped Jethro's cheek and lost consciousness.
NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS NCIS
The first thing Gibbs became aware of as he regained consciousness was a hand lying on his chest right over his heart and an insistent beeping noise. Characteristics of a hospital he sighed internally. Slowly opening his eyes he took in the sight. He was indeed in hospital, laying flat on his back with all kinds of wires around him. His attention fixed on the person sitting on his left side though. It was Tony. He was bundled up in numerous blankets and still seemed to be cold if the shivers running through him in steady intervals were anything to go by. It was also Tony's hand that rested over his heart.
He remembered what happened. Maddie and him being stuck under water in the car, Tony rescuing them. Kelly telling him to go back, Tony's face and said man's body laying next to him after having blacked out. Somehow medics and backup had arrived shortly after the shit had hit the fan. They were all brought back to the same hospital but at some point the darkness had consumed Jethro again.
"Hey," Tony said softly. "Welcome back in the land of the living."
All Jethro could do was nod his head. Guilt wracked him and he almost couldn't meet Tony's eyes. "I'm so sorry, Tony." He whispered.
The other man just looked at him. "I know you are, Jethro. Right now you concentrate on getting better. We'll talk later."
"Ok," the other man conceded. He was exhausted already. A sure sign of hypothermia. Closing his hand around Tony's and squeezing it reassuringly he gave in to the darkness again. Still not letting go, Tony stayed with his lover until a nurse called him.
"Mr DiNozzo? I need to get you back to your doctor. Your test results have arrived." Sighing deeply Tony forced himself to let go.
"Can I call somebody to visit? I don't have any family here and some company would be great." Tony didn't care about giving away too much information to a virtual stranger. He was exhausted, cold and sick with worry for his lover. He didn't care about a whole lot save Jethro's health and recovery.
"Of course, Mr. DiNozzo. Just give me the name and I'll leave a note for the head nurse, so there won't be any problems." She smiled gently and Tony more than appreciated the effort.
"Thanks," he looked at her name tag, "Amanda."
He gave her the name and corresponding cell number and arriving at his room Tony was greeted by Dr. Brad Pitt, his doctor. They were at Bethesda Naval Hospital after all and Dr. Pitt knew his medical history just as well as Ducky. He had performed all his check-ups, annual lung analysis and monthly lung capacity tests. They had become friends over time. Dr. Pitt knew about Tony's phobia of needles and was mindful to only use them when completely necessary.
"Hey Tony. You were looking for trouble again, I take it?" Brad joked but Tony replied indignantly.
"I don't look for trouble. Usually trouble has no trouble finding me! You should know that by now."
"Hey," Brad tried to placate his patient and friend. "I was just kidding."
"I know," Tony sighed. "I'm just worried about my boss," he explained.
"He'll be fine, Tony. You should be more concerned about yourself, you know? I TOLD you that cold temperatures and over the top physical exhaustion were a complete no-go. And you even managed to add them up. This isn't maths, Tony. Two negatives don't make a positive when it comes to health issues and it sure as hell doesn't when we're talking about your lungs!" Properly chastised, all Tony could do was duck his head.
"I couldn't let them die, Brad." He whispered defeated.
"I know Tony," Brad sighed and fuffled the other man's hair in a friendly manner. "I'm just trying to look out for you if you don't have anybody to do it for you."
Smiling Tony, informed his doctor. "I HAVE somebody now, you know?"
"Yeah," Brad agreed. "I'm a doctor, I notice these things. But still, it doesn't count if said person isn't around to watch out for you. Or trapped under water in a car for that matter."
"Ok," Tony admitted defeat and sighed. What was intended to be and stay a sigh turned into a cough however and Tony blushed prettily when he looked up and met his doctor's raised eyebrows.
"Do I really have to strip for you to examine me? I'm still cold even with all the blankets," Tony asked already knowing the answer. Well, he had tried at least.
"You know the drill Tony. I'm sorry. I don't like the sound of your cough."
Peeling the blankets away, layer after layer, Tony's shivering grew worse. Finally naked from the waist up he let Brad do "his doctor thing" as he called it.
"There is already some minor congestion. Together with the test results it's safe to say that it won't stay that way. Sorry Tony but if I were you I'd get myself ready and prepared for double pneumonia." The young man groaned at the harsh verdict but he appreciated Brad's effort to not beat around the bush. If there was one thing Tony positively hated it was being left in the dark about his health. Brad knew that.
"You'll get some shots of antibiotics immediately and we'll see how we go from there. This will become a longer stay, I'm afraid Tony."
"Didn't I say 'no silly stunts', shorty?" a new voice filled the room.Neither man had noticed anybody entering until the stranger had commented on Tony's work habits.
"Stan! Thanks for coming!" Tony's smile spoke volumes. He was glad he finally got some company. Not that he really felt alone but he hated hospital with a passion and a familiar face was always a welcome sight.
"Anytime, Tony. You know that!" the other man replied.
"Yeah, it's just…uhm… after last week I wasn't so sure anymore." Tony explained shyly.
"We'll talk about that, promise, since you seem to find yourself with a lot of time on your hands." Stan reassured his friend.
Dr. Pitt contented himself with watching the two men interact. First the byplay and the nickname the stranger had for Tony, hinted at more than simple friendship but observing them, he didn't pick up anything remotely sexual.
"Nice to meet you Mr…" Dr Pitt addressed the other man
"Stan Burley but you can call me Stan."
"Stan it is then. I am Dr. Brad Pitt and yes, that's my real name and no, we're not related," the young doctor explained.
Stan couldn't help but smile. This seemed to be one of the very few but existing nice doctors.
Turning back to Tony, Brad saw the mischievous smile immediately but tried not to let himself be bothered by it. So what if he found Stan attractive. Not a big deal. Tony's smile suggested otherwise though. "Ok young man, let's get you settled. I'll try to ease up on the needles but there's no way around the IV, I'm sorry." Trying to not let himself be affected by the crushed look on Tony's face, he steered the wheelchair with an again fully clothed and bundled up Tony to his room. Stan was following them silently.
"Brad, how far is my room from Gibbs's and Maddie's?" the young man in the wheelchair asked his doctor.
"Quite a bit. A few corridors at least. You'll be in different ward because you'll get a special treatment. We have to watch your lungs closely. Sorry Tony." Dr. Pitt informed him and instantly felt bad when he saw the positively devastated look on his patient's and friend's face.
"And when can I go visit them?" he whispered dejectedly.
"That depends on the progress you make, Tony. The soonest will be in two day, I'm afraid."
Brad felt terrible for cause the young man so much sorrow but he had to take care of him. There was no saying what the result from Tony's successful but nonetheless reckless actions could be and they had to be prepared for anything, really. Double pneumonia, as bad as it sounded, was the best he could hope for. If things got worse than that… well he didn't like the idea of that. Now he had to make sure Tony recovered as quickly as possible and remained stable when the onslaught of double pneumonia finally hit.
Arriving at Tony's final destination, Brad took care of the IV, explained further proceedings and left the two men alone. He was aware that Stan watched him intently as he left the room but didn't dare qualify the stare as a checking-somebody-out-gaze. He knew better than that.
Finally alone, Stan took time to look Tony over. The young man looked incredibly fragile with all the blankets still around him. He was pale and a faint sheen of prespiration ha formed on his forehead despite Tony's shivering. The sickness progressed faster than he had thought. He had to trust Dr. Brad Pitt to know what was right for their mutual friend.
"I'm not dead yet," Tony tried to lighten the mood but failed. His voice had grown gravely and raspy in a matter of minutes.
"I know," the other man conceded. "I'm just worried."
"Thanks," Tony said, grateful for Stan being there. He looked him over thoughtfully until the other man frowned under the scrutiny.
"You are planning something. I know that look and I don't like it. Spill!"
Tony at least had the good grace to look embarrassed. Weighing his options he knew that lying wasn't a possibility. Stan was a trained investigator just like him and on top of that he knew Tony. "Can you help me get to the others' rooms? Please?"
"You know I can't do that Tony. You have to rest," Stan argued.
"I need to see them, Stan. I can't do that while lazing around here." Tony pleaded.
Still the other man just shook his head. "No Tony. That would be irresponsible. You don't understand what you're risking."
"No, you don't understand!" Tony claimed furiously. "He was dead. His heart ad stopped beating and I managed to bring him back. I have to make sure he's ok and stays that way!" Turning his head he faced the wall to hide the tears welling up in his eyes. Stan was having none of it though and gently turned his friend's face around and studied his eyes. Sighing softly he shook his head again.
"What am I going to do with you?"
"Be my friend?" biting his lip, Tony pleaded tentatively.
"Always," the other man insisted. He was sure he was going to regret this but he simply couldn't stand the crushed look on his friends face.
"We'll make a deal, shorty. You concentrate on getting better and fighting of your very special present of double pneumonia. I'm going to watch over Gibbs and Maddie for you."
The hopeful and grateful expression on Tony's face warmed Stan's heart and reassured him of having made the right decision. "You don't have to do that Stan. I know how much.."
"No Tony," the other man interrupted. "Gibbs hurt me, yeah but I'm doing this for you because you're my friend."
"Thanks. This means so much to me," Tony whispered completely overwhelmed by his friend's idea.
"I know, shorty." Stan ruffled his hair again. He then moved to leave the room and looked back at Tony. "I hope he doesn't hurt you. If he does, the best marine training won't help him when he has to answer to me." He closed the door and was gone, leaving a stunned Tony behind.
Stan immediately went to find Gibbs's room. God he really was too nice for his own good. This had to be one of the stupidest things he could have done.
"That's what you do for friends," he muttered to himself, sighing deeply.
"You know, talking to yourself is the first sign of insanity." Startled Stan turned around to come face to face with Dr. Brad Pitt.
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it." He replied jokingly and Dr. Pitt couldn't help but laugh at the surprising statement.
"It's good to see that at least some people don't loose their good mood in a hospital. He stated
Stan nodded in agreement. "It might help that I'm not a patient but a visitor," he couldn't help but add. He liked the almost-banter with Tony's doctor and obviously also friend.
"Point taken." Brad laughed.
"Do you need something? Does Tony have any problems?" the doctor inquired after both men sobered up a bit.
"No, not at all," Stan assured. "That is, nothing beyond the obvious. I'm looking for Special Agent Gibbs's room. I promised Tony to keep an eye on his boss." He continued
"I see. Well Agent Gibbs will probably be out for the next few hours but since his response to medication is anything other than normal it might be less. Still you're welcome to stay with him. I'm sure he will appreciate the sentiment." Dr. Pitt smiled but it quickly turned into a frown when he took in Stan's heated glance.
"I'm doing this only for Tony. I don't care whether Agent Gibbs appreciates it or not!" he claimed.
Brad raised his hand to placate the obviously irritated man.
"Sorry. Bad blood?" he asked carefully, nor sure if he would get an answer.
"Too much," was Stan's short reply but it told Brad enough. The could practically hear the hurt dripping off every letter, every word.
Wondering what ha caused the obvious fallout, Brad leaded the way to Gibbs's room. He didn't like the other man's tense shoulders and stiff posture but also knew that he couldn't really help the man. They weren't even friends and the only person that could bring a change for Stan was the cause of the problem itself: obviously one Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.
Standing in front of said man's door, Stan couldn't bring himself to open the door. He had gone out of his way to avoid meeting the other man whenever he was in DC. And now he had volunteered to watch over him. How stupid was that?! He felt a hand on his shoulder and looked back into Brad Pitt's face. "He's out for some time at least. You need something, ask a nurse to find me." He squeezed the other man's shoulder reassuringly and left him to his own devices.
Feeling comforted ever so slightly, Stan opened the door and stepped into the room. It was a normal standart room without anything fancy, save the wires and tubes monitoring Gibbs but otherwise there was nothing special. Noticing the dimmed lights he first hesitated as he stepped further into the room but then pulled himself together and strode forcefully to the chair on the left side of the hospital bed and took a seat. Feeling a bit at a loss as to what to do, he took out his cell and started a game of Tetris. He had Tony to thank for that addiction. One game, hook, line and sinker. It hadn't taken a lot, really.
He couldn't concentrate completely though. Feeling restless his gaze more often than not drifted to the unmoving person laying a couple of feet away from him. The older man still looked as good as ever. Face with clear, strong lines, even the toned body wasn't concealed entirely by the blanket. Stan started talking before he could stop himself.
"I know you're probably awake. You were never one to follow doctor's orders or react to medication in the way normal people do. But for both our sakes, pretend that you're asleep. I'm here because I promised Tony. He was ready to neglect his health and jeopardize his recovery to watch over you when it's him who needs somebody to look out for. I hope to got that you're serious with him. You won't want to know what happens if you do; and that's not a threat but a promise!" Stan said, his voice intent and focused.
"He really loves you," Stan continued solemnly. "I shouldn't be surprised though, I guess. I did too at one point but all you left me with is hate. You knew how I felt about you and you used me. At least I hope I was a good lay!" Stan challenged bitterly. All the pent up frustration and hurt was begging to be released. "I did everything for you. Trusted you unconditionally and still I wasn't worthy of the Almighty Gibbs. I was so naïve and still asked you for help on the Enterprise when the drug-case became too much to handle on my own. You should have declined. You shouldn't have come and flirt with me. But now you had to get my hopes up, didn't you. There might not have been a way to let my down gently but you were an ass. But the second B's for bastard, don't I know it!"
The silence that followed Stan's heated monologue was deafening. Jethro's softly whispered "I'm sorry." Sounded choked and almost got lost in the room. Stan just shook his head and got up. He couldn't stay one minute longer right now. "Too late to apologize," were his final words as he left the room.
Outside he took a deep breath and leaned heavily against the door. He felt energized and exhausted at the same time. The adrenaline was rushing through is body, he knew that but emotionally he felt empty and drained.
"Need some coffee?" Stan opened his eyes (he couldn't even remember closing them) to meet Dr. Pitt's warm and steady gaze.
"Yeah, he sighed deeply but gratefully. "Coffee would be great."
"Ok, follow me then. There is actually some decent coffee in the cafeteria," Brad explained.
"Wonders never cease," the other man tried to joke but his heart wasn't in it. Not really.
They made their way silently and after getting their respective orders they sat down at a more secluded table. Stan had wrapped his hands around the cup of coffee. He tried to absorb the warmth but the faint shivers running through his body didn't lessen.
"I'm sorry doctor but I'm not very good company right now." Stan apologized but Dr. Pitt just waved him off.
"Don't worry. I won't say that I understand since I have no idea at to what happened, but it's ok."
"Thanks doctor. No offence but don't you have work to do?" the young man asked somewhat curiously.
"None taken. At the moment I'm not very busy. I work in Infectious Diseases and right now I don't have any patients. I just ventured into the outside world so to speak when I heard that Tony had been admitted. Since his incident with the plague I regularly check his lungs and perform other tests. We became friends over the whole ordeal so I wanted to make sure that he got the right treatment from the very beginning. His lungs are more fragile than before and he needs looking after when those are affected," Brad explained. Stan listened intently and not only with polite interest.
"What damage is it actually that the plague does?" Stan asked curiously.
"Well you see, it's pretty complex. Once in the body, the bacteria can enter the lymphatic system, which drains interstitial fluid which is also known as tissue fluid, or intercellular fluid. Y. Pestis then spreads through the lymphatics until it reaches a lymph node, where it stimulates severe hemorrhagic inflammation causing the lymph nodes to expand. Lymphatics ultimately drain into the bloodstream and as a result the plague bacteria may enter the blood where they can travel to virtually any part of the body. Pneumonic plague, from which Tony suffered, infects the lungs. The very first signs of an infection are fever, headache, weakness, and rapidly developing pneumonia with shortness of breath, chest pain, cough, and sometimes bloody or watery sputum. The pneumonia progresses for two to four days. Worst case scenario? It causes respiratory failure and shock. At that point death is almost imminent"
"Wow. That sounds… like it's one hell of a disease." Stan whispered, clearly in awe at what Tony had fought successfully against."
"That's one way to put it. It was his luck that the bug killed himself after 32 hours. Otherwise there would be no Tony today, I'm afraid." Brad confessed.
"Yeah I know," Stan admitted.
"Actually, not thinking about it, there is also severe damage of the lungs after an infection with pneumonic plague. If you were to perform an autopsy on a victim the lungs would be extensively scarred. Tony's are too, as a matter of fact. Not as much since he's a healthy young man but still. His lungs can't be strained as much as before. If he still pushes too far, his body shuts down to recover properly," the doctor finished his explanation.
"Wow," Stan was visibly stunned.
"Yea that pretty much hits the nail on the head." Brad agreed. "Tony was incredibly lucky. He just doesn't realize that he has to watch out more than before. Well, no, that's not exactly true. He knows but puts others in front of himself. It's unnerving, really."
Stan nodded. "I know exactly what you mean. Today is the perfect example."
"True. Let's hope that he'll change for the better now that he's not single anymore. I'm pretty sure Agent Gibbs won't let something like this happen again." Dr. Pitt explained but wished he hadn't mentioned Tony's new partner. He didn't like the way Stan's expression had darkened considerably.
"I'm sorry," he apologized sincerely. "That was inconsiderate." But the other man just waved him off.
"It's ok. We'll see if he watches out for Tony."
"He didn't for you?" Brad knew he was going out on a limb there but the pain in the other man's eyes told him that he had hit home.
"No, he didn't. At least not for my heart. He fucked me and then fucked me over. Simple as that," Stan spat bitterly. The silence that followed was tense and borderline uncomfortable until Stan, shoulders slumped, apologized. "I'm sorry. I'm sure you didn't want to hear that."
"Not at all," Dr. Pitt reassured him. "I just know that sometimes it's better to just listen than to speak."
"Truer words," Stan smiled softly and saw it mirrored in the other man's face. He was really starting to like the doctor. He was easy on the eyes and had a nice sense of humor. Boyfriend material, a voice in his head pointed out (un)helpfully but Stan didn't listen. He didn't need that right now. Really not. He had come to DC to get some action and meet up with Tony. Getting to know a nice and charming man hadn't been on his list, He wasn't a commitment phobe as Ton had been but since Gibbs he had shied away when things got too serious for his taste.
Once bitten, twice shy, as they say.
He had yet to find another person he could trust as unconditionally as he had trusted Gibbs albeit that chapter of his life didn't have a happy ending and more than likely never would.
"Are you angry that he's Tony's partner now?" the doctor interrupted his thoughts.
He didn't hesitate answering though. "No, not at all. I'm happy that Tony found somebody. I can see what he sees in Gibbs. At some point I saw it too. Not anymore though," he explained seriously. "I'm only angry at Gibbs. I could have lived with a ONS had I known that it would be nothing more than a fling. But getting my hopes up, throwing me away and then flirting with me again? No, I don't work that way."
"Nobody does. I wouldn't have reacted any other way. Not that anybody would, really." Brad Pitt agreed. Stan looked at him, clearly surprised.
"Are you..?"
"I'm leaving all my options open," Brad smiled.
"Bi?"
"Yeah." He nodded
"Really?" Stan was clearly stunned. "Either my gaydar is complete crap or you're trying to stay below the radar." He mused aloud.
"It's the latter. I don't exactly hide it but I don't flaunt it either. When it comes to my work here, my sexuality is nobody's business but mine."
"Makes sense," Stan agreed. "As a federal agent working in quasi military land I try to keep it low too. Better that way."
"Could they actually fire you for it?" Dr. Pitt asked, obviously interested instead of just trying to make small talk.
"No, not really. I'm neither a marine nor in the Armed Forces. Whom I have sex with isn't anybody's concern but mine." Stan elaborated.
He liked the easy conversation with Dr. Pitt. It was normal and nice, not uncomfortable and loaded with innuendo. Like you would have minded the annoying little voice in his head pointed out unhelpfully again. He decided to just ignore it. Again. He refocused and was faced with Brad Pitt's soft smile. Good God this man could become dangerous for him. And his heart.
"Do you mind if we go upstairs again? I'd like to check on Tony and see how his vitals are." The doctor asked apologetically. Stan just shook his head.
"No worried, that's ok. Lucky me, I get to continue my vigil," he sighed.
"You don't have to," Brad pointed out but Stan was adamant. "I promised Tony. Gibbs means too much to him, for me to not keep that promise."
"I see. Well if you need somebody or company for another cup of coffee, feel free to come looking for me." Brad offered
"Thanks, I appreciate that. I guess we'll be seeing quite a bit of each other during the next days." Stan smiled
"True," Dr. Pitt agreed, "but I don't mind. Tony's friends are my friends too."
"That goes both ways, Doctor" Stan informed the other man.
"Brad," he corrected Stan
"Ok, Brad. I'll see you around."
They smiled at each other and parted ways to get to their respective destinations. Stan couldn't help but feel a lot lighter than when he had left Gibbs's room only a little more than an hour ago.
TBC
Read and review please ::smile::