A/N: Hey, guys! Thanks so much to everyone who is interested in this story. Thanks for the ones who do review! The reviews really do encourage me to keep writing! I am sorry it usually takes me a long time to update. I'm really busy with school right now! So, please be patient. Thanks! Enjoy, and please review!

No matter how many teachings and how much advice Jim would get from whomever, he was still having difficulty with the idea of having a "good attitude" about his situation at the moment. It was true; Jim would rather see her every day and not get to talk to her than to not see her at all. But that was easier said than done. He couldn't imagine not talking to her anymore. Someone might as well rip out his vocal cords because if he couldn't talk to Pam, he honestly didn't want to talk at all.

He speculated all of last night, and all of this morning, and still hadn't come up with a solution to his diminished heart. Yet, there was one thing Jim knew for sure. It was that Carl's words had truth to them. Don't run away because the pain will only follow you.

But then again, I'll have pain wherever I go, so why does it matter if transfer or not? Because Pam might not end up with Roy like Rose didn't end up with that other guy? Yeah right, that was just a story. Pam was marrying Roy and there is not a goddamn thing I can do about it.

Michael's loud talking startled Jim away from his thoughts. "Pam! You are a true hero. You basically survived death."

"Thank you, Michael." Pam only said this to please him. Jim turned his head to see Pam getting settled, along with Michael, Kelly, Kevin, and Phyllis, who were all standing in front of her, interested.

"So, c'mon, tell us what happened, Pam. What's the real story?" Kelly pleaded

"Yeah, what happened?" added Phyllis.

Pam stole a glance towards Jim, causing him to clear his throat and begin working on whatever was in front of him to distract himself, although he couldn't help but listen in.

"Um, actually, guys it's not that interesting. I was just stressed from wedding planning and I hadn't eaten so when I stood up I was just really tired and dizzy. I don't know. I just wasn't feeling good yesterday."

"Well, it's a good thing Jimbo was there, right?" Michael pointed towards Jim. "Oh this calls for a party!" He clapped his hands together.

"Michael, we really don't have the budget for random parties like these." Angela said as she walked around the copier.

"Oh, nonsense! This is a celebration of life! Pam almost died! Just think of it as a birthday party." Michael waved her off.

"Michael, I just fainted. People faint every day." Pam tried.

"We're having a party. AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT." Michael shouted. "Party Planning Committee, conference room, 5 minutes." Michael jumped back in his office as everyone else got back to work.

"Allllllright." Michael brought his hands together. "I was thinking, and this might not even be big enough, but we get a giant life size balloon of Pam, and the balloon could be holding a sign that says…" He paused for dramatic effect. "Dunder Mifflin Death Survivor." He grinned at his idea.

"No, Michael." Pam began.

"How would we even go about doing that?" Kelly asked.

"Michael, I don't want a life size balloon of me. No." Pam finished.

"Alright, alright, alright." Michael's head was down, feeling defeated until an idea quickly formed. He slowly raised his head. "We get an ice sculpture that looks like-"

"Michael! No! Nothing that looks like me! I don't even understand why we are doing this." Pam interrupted him.

"Because you're an attention seeker." Angela muttered

Pam heard the remark, but chose to ignore it.

"Pam, you survived from a very big trauma yesterday. Now that is something to party about." Michael answered.

"I just fainted! But if you insist on a stupid party, just make it simple, okay?"

Jim strolled out of the kitchen to see that the party planning committee was walking out of the conference room. Jim didn't trust himself to go back to his desk just yet. He wanted to so badly do what Pam had asked him not to do. He wanted to talk to her, prank Dwight with her, and just laugh with her. And he knew for sure that if he did start walking, he'd fall under her enchantment and end up right in front of her. And then what? He'd have to look into the eyes of such a questioningly beautiful creature who wanted such an uncanny thing from him; nothing. She wanted nothing from him. He'd have to look in her eyes and see the reflection of himself broken. And the last thing he needed was a reminder of the state of himself.

Pam looked straight ahead to the kitchen door that he stood directly in front of. Jim brought himself to meet her eyes, and for the first time that they had ever been friends, the lookthey exchanged was tainted with sorrow. Typically, every time they shared a moment like this together his heart fluttered, but instead the familiar hollow feeling washed through his chest making him feel like tin man from The Wizard of Oz. And that made sense to him because much like Tin man, Jim was also broken, alone, and stuck, waiting for someone or something to come along to fix it all. But in reality, he knew that there would never be a Dorothy to find him in this forest of pain. So he turned around and hid himself in the bathroom again.

He just couldn't go back to his desk, not after that. Use to, Jim couldn't wait to be at his desk, to glance up and already find her warmly smiling at him. But he felt like things were changing, almost like a new season creeping in slowly after the other. First, just little things begin to change. The bare trees start to sprout small green leaves, letting us know soon enough that the crisp fall air will be washed away by a warm spring breeze. And then, things drastically start to change. Fields grow flowers while everything becomes alive, replacing the dullness with color and you can't keep the things you love about fall when spring finally does comes. And Jim was afraid that Pam was something he loved in the fall.

Pam watched as Jim turned, leaving her looking at the door. Why hadn't he talked to me yet today? It wasn't like him to not check up on me, especially after what happened yesterday. She pictured today going a little differently. Jim would have usually said something like "Don't faint on me today, Beesly." And he would normally get a kick out of Michael's party suggestions. She was also surprised he hadn't found a way to make someone in the office eat the rest of the jelly beans. He must know I saw the note. Hell, there were days he saw me more stressed and tired than I've ever been, and not eat that day. He knew me too well to know that that wasn't what caused me to faint. I should have given him the phone back. God, he must hate me now. He asked me to give it back and I didn't. Why can't everything go back to normal; eating awful jelly beans normal? It upset Pam to have to see the hurt in Jim's eyes across the room, and she would have done anything to make it go away.

It was now 12:23 and somehow Jim and Pam made it hours without talking, which definitely broke their record.

Roy came to the office to eat lunch with Pam. They made their way to the break room to see that Creed, Meredith, Angela, and Jim were also taking their lunch breaks. Angela and Meredith sat close to the door. Creed sat towards the back with Jim at the table beside him, leaving Pam and Roy the table in front of Jim.

Shit, Jim thought, this has got to be the best week in the world.

They both started eating when Roy asked, "So, Michael's planning a party for you?"

"Yeah, it's stupid. And get this, he wanted to get a life size balloon of me and when I told him no, he suggested an ice sculpture!" She laughed.

"What an idiot." Roy bit into his sandwich.

Pam frowned expecting a different response and she didn't know why because that was the typical Roy it was because she used to tell Jim these things getting a sarcastic comment or joke that would make her laugh in response. Pam started to turn to give Jim a knowing look but Roy seemed to take notice in what she was doing and cleared his throat.

"So, um, how are ya feelin'?"

Pam turned to him, "Oh, uh, fine. My head hurts a little off and on. But I took some medicine for that."

"Good, well I'll be up for the party later. Will there be alcohol?" he smiled.

"It's an office party, Roy." Angela had heard what he was saying and butted in.

"I was joking." Pam knew he wasn't.

"Hey, uh, maybe later we can go home and have a little party of our own, if you know what I mean." Roy whispered in her ear.

Jim's head shot up as he swallowed his food. He cleared his throat, gathered his things, and left. Pam watched him as he walked away.

"Pam?" Roy asked

"Uh, yeah!" She quickly responded before filling her mouth with a spoonful of yogurt.

"Am I invited?" Creed asked straight faced.

Jim walked right out of the break room not wanting to hear Pam's response. He knew he should have just left when they walked in. He threw away the rest of his lunch. Another day without finishing his food, there would be more to come. Jim hated hearing Roy talk to Pam like that. However, he did the best he could to shrug it off. This was his chance to get some work down while she was away from her desk.

Waiting became the hardest thing Jim ever had to do. Three more long hours went by without talking to Pam. Jim starred at the clock. He was sure that is must be broken, just as he was. It had to be going slower than normal. The party was scheduled for 3:00. It was 2:38 and he could tell by the corner of his eyes when Pam would look up at him. Her glances were like a knife poking at his heart each time. He wanted so badly to look up at her too. But that would lead to a smile from him. And that would lead to his feet finding their usual place directly in front of her. And that's not what she wanted. So he'd have to learn to settle for the outline of her perfect shape peeking at the corner of his right eye. Jim speculated what it might be like if Michael let him work his sales from the annex, and he also thought about asking Jan if he could transfer. Both things he would never want to do, but Jim knew he wouldn't even be able to walk by her to get to the annex after she had a second ring on her finger. One of the only things that let him hold onto his crushing hope was that Michael still called her Pam Beesly or Pamela Morgan Beesly reminding him that she wasn't yet married to the worst possible man for her. But once that act would end, he didn't know how long he would be able to stay sane anymore. He wondered how he was supposed to listen to Carl and "stay put" He remembered how Carl had said he didn't want to get over Rose. Maybe Jim needed to think about that. No, he didn't really want to get over Pam. The love he had for her was just too real, something he's never had before. Of course he didn't want to. But, he needed to because she was marrying someone else. So, he was going to have to figure out just how to want to get over her.

3:04 pm, Pam's Party

"Hey, Pam, look. I'm eating you." Kevin took another bite of the sugar cookie with Pam's face on it.

"Yeah, Kevin." Pam turned around to avoid any further conversation and possible sexual jokes.

"Lame party." Roy scoffed.

Pam absent-mindlessly nodded and scanned around the conference room and office. She found who she was looking for. His slim body half way sat on Oscar's desk as he held a plastic cup filled with red punch. He was talking to Toby and Meredith. Jim didn't look happy. He looked worn out and lifeless. Usually Jim loved office parties. Only because he loved getting away from work and getting to hang out with Pam. They'd laugh at the party decorations, the music, and everything else that they found worth joking about. Jim's eyes wondered to her, catching her staring at him. Pam quickly looked down at her plate. Why had she done that? More often than not they would exchange a look from across the office, pleading for help, and now they both knew neither of them could help each other.

"Pam! You like your party?" Michael asked.

"Um, yeah." She looked up from her plate. "Where did you get this picture of me?" Pam held up a cookie with her face on it. It wasn't a picture of her smiling. She had a straight face on and she looked quite glum.

"Dwight took it." He shrugged

"When?"

"A couple hours ago I got him to take it for this. You couldn't have smiled?"

"He didn't tell me he was taking a picture! I didn't even know he took it."

"Well that's…" Michael shook his head "stupid, god, Dwight." He muttered under his breath

"Yes, Michael?" Dwight approached beside him.

Michael jumped. "Geez, stop it. Why didn't you get a good picture of Pam?"

"That's how she always looks."

"What? That's not true." Pam argued.

"No, Dwight, if that was true she wouldn't be the third hottest person in here."

"Michael, I got that special cookie you asked for."

"No, Dwight…" Michael started.

"What cookie!?" Pam raised her voice.

"Nothing." Michael lied.

"This cookie. Don't you remember, Michael?" Dwight grabbed the cookie from the tray and held it up. It was a picture of Pam's chest. It looked like Dwight had taken it from afar and just zoomed in on her chest area.

"Iiii…I didn't ask for that, Dwight." Michael shook his head

"Yes you did, Michael. I wrote it down in my journal. I can go get it if…"

"Just give me that!" Michael interrupted him. He grabbed the cookie and walked off.

Pam frowned and turned around. Typical Michael, it wasn't a surprise. Pam saw that Roy was talking to Angela, Ryan, and Kelly. She turned back to where she once found Jim. He was still there talking to just Toby now. She watched as Toby gestured to the conference room while Jim shook his head. Toby then started walking towards the room. This is my chance, my chance to talk to him. I'm dying to tell him everything that happened today just like the days before I fainted, the days before I knew. She would tell him every detail, right up until the cookie she just discovered moments ago.

Pam looked at him as he focused on his punch while sloshing it around. She made her move.

"Hey?" Pam looked up at his eyes. She had always heard "Yours eyes are the windows to your soul." And in that moment she finally understood it. Jim looked up at her with raised eyebrows, surprised by her presence. She studied his eyes and saw it all; saw all the hurt that this day had brought him, all the pain that she had brought him. Pam looked into his hazel eyes and saw his soul; his broken soul that seemed to be searching for answers and seeking for someone to mend him. And then she thought about how she could never see Roy that well. Is that my fault? Do I not look at Roy close enough? No, I try to see how Roy is feeling just by looking at him, and I've only been able to do it a couple of times. And with Jim, well, it was different. She knew just about every time she saw him what he was feeling.

Jim cleared his throat. "Um, hey?" He looked at her curiously.

"Weird day, huh?"

"What are you doing?" Jim stood straight.

"What do you mean?"

"Why are you talking to me? I thought you didn't want to be friends anymore."

"What!? Why would you think that? You're the one who hasn't talked to me all day!" Pam frowned. "I expected you, as my friend, to ask me how I was doing. Even Stanley asked me how I was! And I thought even though I saw the note, you'd still be a good enough person to at least smile at me today! You've been a total stranger." Pam sighed and looked down at her feet, hugging her arms because it made her feel more secure.

"Pam, you told me not to talk to you! Do you honestly think that I could go a whole day without talking to you? This has been the shittiest day in the world all because of you!"

"I never told you that! Why would I say such a thing?"

"Pam! We texted yesterday after you left work!"

"I didn't text anybody after I left, Jim. You're confusing me."

Jim frowned at her. "Well, then who texted me?"

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