Now, that a lot of things made sense, it was time for the next step: Continuation of denial. It seemed like a good plan. It had gotten her this far. Lock away the information that she might be gay, that she might be in love with her best friend, and never mention it to anyone. Better yet, never think about it. That seemed to be the best answer.

She wasn't really ready to even come out to herself, which is why when she had the feelings that shall not be named, she just told herself that they were normal. When Karma was laying in her bed like she was right now, it was perfectly natural to want to reach over and pull her closer. It was okay that she wanted to kiss her again. That didn't make her gay.

Karma seemed to be completely unaware that she was having this effect on Amy. Perfect, it had to stay that way. Making things weird was not an option. They had just gotten over one of the biggest fights of their friendship and she wanted everything to be smooth. Everyone should be happy. If Karma was happy she could be happy. It was just that little nagging feeling that poked at her from time to time. Like right now, Karma was totally going off about how her mom interrupted their viewing of Dance Moms so she could sage the bedroom.

It was kind of cute how serious she was about a stupid reality show. While providing nods and agreement in the appropriate places, Amy was also just watching her talk, a dangerous thing to do. Suddenly, she felt an urgent need to be elsewhere so she sat upright, said a quick goodbye to a shocked Karma and fled the premises. It kind of reminded her of all the times Karma threw up around cute boys. She did feel a little nauseous but it definitely didn't have anything to do with boys.

At school they acted like the perfect couple. Hands were held, goodbye kisses were given, and the confusion continued. Even if the kisses were more pecks than anything else. Chaste in comparison to what she saw Karma and Liam engaging in the week before. Thinking about it made her feel squirmy and jealous, like they had really been cheating on some level. Another facet of confusion to add to the pile.

They got to school, parted ways for first period and she took her usual back of the room seat for English. The Homecoming Queen posters on the wall still made her nervous. Carrying out the lie was insane because eventually someone would figure them out. It was too big and there were too many people involved to expect anything else, but if Karma didn't want to listen to her she would just go along and hope for the best.

She eyed the back of Liam's head as the teacher droned on about MacBeth or something similarly Shakespearean. Maybe this wasn't going to be as easy to deny as she thought. Martialing all of her energy, she tuned into the teacher and tried to forget anything else existed. She did okay… until lunch.

They were sitting with Shane, Liam, and Leila at an eclectic table of lunchgoers where no one was unwelcome. However, there was still a definite sense of clique. It seemed to be an unavoidable social circumstance surrounding any institution where teenagers gathered.

"Yeah, it's been hard being in the closet," Kara said. She elbowed Amy, jostling her out of the dire thoughts that occupied her troubled mind. "Right, Amy?"

"Huh," she replied, looking around at each expectant face in turn. "Sure," she finally got out. Karma's face, the bulging wide eyes and scolding set of her lips let her know that her answer wasn't good enough. She smiled, the edges of her lips turning up in a contrite shrug. "Sorry, I was just thinking about…" She searched for a word but nothing came to her panic stricken mind.

"Your hamster," Karma blurted. She turned to the others and nodded as if it explained everything. "Amy's hamster died last week. They were very close." She leaned into Amy's personal space, taking her hand and kissing her on the cheek. "I'm sorry, babe."

The others gave a collective sound of sympathy. "That's terrible, I'm sorry," Shane said, extending a hand.

"Oh, yeah, it's been really hard," Amy replied, nearly rolling her eyes. Again with the hamster story. It seemed to be Karma's go to obviously making her really only marginally better at bullshitting than Amy was. "Yeah, I think I'm gonna get going. I need to study for… something."

She gave an awkward smile and stood, Karma trying to motion her to sit down using only her eyes and a slight shake of her head. Amy ignored her and went to dump her tray, sending the uneaten lunch into the trash. This day got better and better, now she was wasting food that someone less fortunate could have eaten. With a heavy sigh, she pushed her bag up her shoulder and walked out of the lunch room, heading for the roof.

Back at the table Karma tried to smooth the whole thing over, saying it wasn't a big deal but it wasn't working.

"You're seriously not going to go after her," Shane said. Laila nodded emphatically in support and Liam just kind of sat there with a vague smile on his face.

She was cursing Amy in her mind for ruining this, their first lunch at the cool table. "She'll be fine and she likes to be alone sometimes to, ya know… process." She drew out the sentence not sure where she was going with it.

"I think they're right," Liam chimed in. "She looked pretty upset."

Karma looked down at her lunch and pursed her lips. If she went after Amy now at least she could say that she spent most of lunch with Liam and Shane. It would have to do. To keep up the charade she had to appear like a doting girlfriend. "You're right, I'm totally going to go check on her. Thanks guys." She gave a super wide grin and got up, stalking off in search of her errant best friend.