Thorin sat at Bilbos fireplace in Bag End, slumped forward with his face hidden behind his hands. The king was close to desperation. Of course he had always known what he had done in his madness, for he remembered every second of it. But seeing the effects on Kaya had made him realise how much damage he caused. How much pain he had caused. Kaya had loved him and her love had destroyed her. The former strong and confident woman had become a mere shadow of her old self. After Thorin had thrown all those horrible things into her face, he had pulled her back and had pushed her away from him, making her land on the hard steps of the stairway. He had not even looked at her once as he left for the treasury. Later, in battle, he had seen a dark haired female in a grey hood fight at Tauriels side, and he had seen this person fall to Bolgs blow which had been aimed at him. He had looked into a pair of brown eyes, but then he had fallen unconscious due to the blood loss. As he woke up in the healers tent, the battle was long over.

Thorin had sent messengers to queen Neeyas realm, but they came back with the message that any news concerning the princess would not be forwarded to any dwarf. Back then, Thorin had thought Neeya to protect her daughter, but she had only kept quiet about the fact that she had exiled her own daughter for breaking the contract and not staying with Thorin. Kaya had been too strong for her mother and the queen had found the perfect way to get rid of her heiress. And Thorin had involuntarily helped her. Not only had he broken her heart, he had also destroyed her chance of happiness without him. And now, it was Kaya who had to play the bait for the southrons, because she was not bound to any man whose honor she might damage and because she was not protected through rank anymore. This was all his fault.

'Why are you still up, uncle?' Kili sat down on the floor in front of him and frowned at him. 'We have to be alert tomorrow.'

'I will not find any sleep.' Thorin sighed. 'Why are you still up?'

'I talked to Tauriel.' Kili stated grimly. 'She is determined to play the bait along with Kaya tomorrow. I tried to convince her to defy her king´s orders, but she did not. How could he throw her into the wargs´s den like this? As if she was worth nothing?'

'Is Kaya worth nothing?' Thorin asked, his tone dangerously quiet.

Kili closed his eyes in defeat and turned to his uncle. 'Apparently she is not, otherwise you would not have thrown her away years ago.'

Thorin was shocked by his nephews answer. He had not expected these allegations from Kili. But his nephew was right and Thorin had nothing to say to his defense.

'Kaya is worth more than all the gold and all the jewels in Erebor.' Thorin whispered and Kilis expression softened. 'But I do not deserve her. I do not deserve her love or her forgiveness.'

'Have you even asked?' Kili asked his uncle and frowned as he shook his head. 'Thorin...'

'You saw how she reacted. You saw how she recoiled when I came near her.' Thorin told Kili bitterly. 'I do not know how to ask her to forgive me when I cannot even forgive me myself.'

'You have to try.' Kili stood up and looked down at his uncle. 'You might lose her for good tomorrow.'

Thorin walked to Kayas tent in the next morning. Kili had told him that Kaya and Tauriel shared a tent and planned their mission. As the king of the dwarves arrived, Tauriel emerged and frowned at him. Thorin knew that the she-elf was not fond of him and he could understand. Nevertheless, he would not let her stand in his way. Before she could say something, Thorin held up his hands.

'Please, I only want to talk to her.' he said quietly.

'I doubt that she wants to talk to you.' Tauriel sneered and looked down at him the way Thorin hated it.

'Is it not her decision to make?' he asked and pushed himself past the captain of the Mirkwood guard. Since there was no door to knock on, Thorin called out for Kaya. He could hear her move inside of the tent and moments later the flap opened.

Kaya looked at him in astonishment. She had not expected him to come to her. As Thorin wanted to say something, Tauriel interrupted him by speaking to Kaya in the elvish tongue. Kaya smiled sadly and shook her head, answering in elvish. Tauriel snarled and left, but she eyed Thorin dangerously before she walked away.

'I did not know that you spoke elvish.' Thorin cleared his throat.

'I was educated in all the languages of our allies.' Kaya told him, but she did not walk away from the entrance of the tent. 'Why are you here, your majesty?'

'Please, do not call me that. You used to call me by my name.' Thorin asked her and reached out for her hand. But Kaya pulled away.

'I used to be a princess and we used to get married. Things change.' she stated bitterly and walked back into the tent. With a sad sigh, Thorin followed her, although she had not invited him in. 'Tauriel and I have to get ready, we leave for the Thain´s house this morning.'

'I know. That is why I came here.' Thorin admitted. 'I wanted to tell you that...'

'To tell me what? That I do not need to do this?' Kaya laughed bitterly. 'I am not a princess anymore. I do what is awaited from me.'

'Please, I...' Thorin sighed. Kaya turned away from him and pulled off her cloak, revealing a dress of a maiden servant. It was a simple white linen dress and it was cut out deeply. Her shoulders were bare and when she moved, her bare legs were visible. Thorin swallowed heavily. The thought of Kaya being in one room with all these southrons, dressed like this, made him furious. The things they would do to her made Thorin scream mentally. Not thinking about his actions, Thorin marched forward and grabbed Kayas wrists to make her look at him. Kaya jerked and the scared look on her face was like a slap in the face to Thorin. Pained with guilt and remorse, Thorin let go of Kayas wrists and kneeled down in front of her. Kayas scared look changed into a surprised one, but she was still petrified.

'Please.' Thorin whispered. 'I know that there is nothing I could do to make you forgive me. I was too weak to fight the madness and I hurt you more than I wanted to realise. I should have done everything in my power to get you back, but I failed you again. But you, you fought for me. You fought my madness and you fought for my life in battle. I could never repay what you have done for me. I cannot even offer you my heart, for you already have it.'

Kaya listened to him quietly. Her heart beat so violently that she thought that he had to hear it, too. His words echoed in her head and she felt hollow all of a sudden. He loved her. He had just said that he loved her. But the hurt was too deep.

'You forgot about me the moment I left the mountain.' Kayas voice was hoarse with emotion. 'In battle you did not recognise me and after the battle you did not even try to find me. You could have sent a messenger to Rivendell, you knew that lord Elrond is a friend of mine. Nori could have send out spies to get information about my whereabouts. But you did none of those things. I know that you are a king and that you have responsibilities. You restored your beloved Erebor to its old glory. But if you would had loved me, you would have saved me. You would have saved me from my grief, my pain and the horrible memory of your words to me. You had my heart, your majesty, but you threw it away. My heart lays in Erebor, along with the heart of the mountain, burried under rock. And I will never set a foot into that cursed mountain again.'

'Kaya...' Thorin looked up at her. 'I would do anything you asked from me. Anything to assure you that I deeply regret my words to you. I love you, Kaya. I love you more than...'Thorins paused and suddenly knew what to do. 'I love you more than Erebor, than my crown, than my throne. I will fight for you if I must. You may not be a princess anymore, but I will not ask you for forgiveness as a king. I ask you as Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, dwarf of Erebor.'

Kaya could not believe what she heard. 'You would give up your home for me? Your crown?'

'I would give up my life for you.' Thorin told her and shifted on the ground. His knees hurt and his feet were going numb. He was a king, he was not used to kneel. But he would stay on his knees until he had an answer. 'I will not ask you to forgive me. I only ask you to give me another chance to prove my love to you. I have reclaimed my homeland, but I lost everything else on the way, including myself. I will not return to Erebor without you and if you do not want to return, I will not either.'

Kaya felt sick, her emotions were making her dizzy. She felt love, happiness, grief and pain at the same time. She still loved Thorin, but the memory of his assault on her could not be erased. His words echoed in her head and she could not forget the hatred in his eyes as he had looked at her. But this Thorin, the one kneeling in front of her, only looked at her with an expression full of love and regret. Kaya knew that Thorin deeply regretted his actions and she knew that it had been the goldsickness that had forced his hand against her. But she could not forget.

'Thorin...' Kaya sighed. She could not be diverted now. 'I cannot...trust you. Everytime that you touch me I feel your fist in my hair and I see the abyss below my feet. Everytime you look at me I remember your words. You hurt me more than anyone ever could. More than my mother and my sister together. How am I supposed to forget this?'

Thorin closed his eyes in defeat. He lowered his head in shame and only realised that he was crying as he felt cold fingers brush over his wet cheek. Kaya had kneeled down in front of him and caressed his face the same way she had done in Erebor.

'I love you, Thorin. I always have. I fell in love with you as I first laid my eyes on you. The Valar know why, but I fell inlove like a stupid peasant girl.' Kaya smiled sadly. 'I still love you. But I need time.'

Feeling his hope rise, Thorin dared to cup her face in his hands. This time, Kaya did not jerk away from him. 'Come back alive. Come back to me. I will prove to you that you can trust me and that I will never hurt you again in my life.' Thorin whispered and leaned into her. His lips touched her forehead and Kaya closed her eyes, tears rolling over her cheeks. 'Promise me that you will come back.'

But Kaya did not.

'I promise that I will come back.' Tauriel told Kili as they parted later that day.

Thorins nephew had asked Tauriel to stay with him when this nightmare was over. He knew that Thranduil would never agree, but at least he knew that they would have Thorins support. Thorin knew best how it felt to fall in love and have others hinder this love. Kili would not make the same mistake as his uncle and give up on the woman he loved. But now, Tauriel had to focus on her task and Kili would support her as good as possible. The king´s nephew frowned as he looked at his beloved. The dress was much to revealing for his taste and her hair covered her elven ears in lose streaks. He would braid her hair when she came back.

Kili joined his uncle and king Elessar in one of the hobbit holes with a view on the Thain´s home. King Thranduil did not even bother to show up, he did not care much for his captain of the guard since she defied him in favor of the dwarves during the battle of the Five Armies. This was his punishment and he did not expect her to come back.

Thorin and Kili both frowned as they saw their beloved ones walk to the smial with swinging hips and revealing dresses. Thorin had to admit that Kaya looked incredibly attractive and he felt the blood rush between his legs. For a moment pictures flashed up in his mind, pictures of Kaya arching her back as he pound into her, pictures of Kaya screaming out his name as she came in his arms. But this was not the right moment. Shaking his head the dwarf king watched as the door to the smial opened and Tauriel and Kaya disappeared into it. As he saw the greedy and lusty expression on the southrons face he was about to storm out there and get them out by himself, but he knew that they had to wait. Tauriel and Kaya would slip a sleeping potion into the southrons wine and they would wait until they were sleeping to rescue the Thain and his family. Afterwards, the warriors would take care of the rest. Thorin sent a silent prayer to Mahal, begging him to hold his hand over Kaya - and Tauriel. Turning towards his nephew, Thorin realised that he was not alone with his feelings. At least Tauriel knew that there was someone waiting for her when the mission was over. He had confessed his love to Kaya, but he knew that he still had a long way to go.