Thanks for the feedback guys, keep it coming! Chapter 1 is fixed and ready to go! Thanks TheWriterWhoIsAlone for pointing it out!
Amy's bed had never felt like an odd place to be. It was where she gravitated toward because they could stare at the stars on the ceiling or talk as while cuddled up. All their serious conversations took place on Amy's bed. It let Karma get lost in comfort and safety. Now, as she sat down, she wondered if she should take the liberty to flop down like she usually did. The notebook was still bothering her, that page of drawings and implications made her question for once instead of plowing ahead.
Believing that Amy was simply playing along was easier than the impossible thought that she had feelings, that they both might have feelings. There was something deeper about their friendship, true, but that was just the indelible bond that had formed over the years. You didn't give up peanut butter for a casual friend.
Still, it made her throat thick. She wanted to ask or make a comment but feigning ignorance, she could work with that too. Amy sat next to her, tossing her bag down next to the bed. They looked at each other, Karma's mouth open and Amy's clamped shut but they quickly reversed.
"I guess you're wondering what that page was about," Amy sputtered.
Karma waved her off, trying to stop the conversation in it's tracks. "No, I just figured you were doing a really good job of being a faux girlfriend."
There it was, the out. If Amy took it they could just pretend that everything was fine and go on with their lives. If she decided to come clean, everything would shift and Karma wouldn't be able to ignore the feeling that was locked away. On a level she dared not delve into, she knew that there was more to this.
Sitting felt stiff and the air between them was stifling so Amy pushed her shoes off and crawled up the bed, resting her head in the pillows, half hoping that Karma wouldn't follow, but she did. She closed her eyes tight and when she opened them they were face to face, just like in her dream.
The confirmation of Karma's statement never came, which meant it hung between them and unresolved possibility waiting to be kicked one way or another. Amy had no intention of making this easy for Karma anymore. Her discomfort had reached a tipping point, and she knew that getting rid of this repression would prevent an implosion of feelings. She still had no idea what to say. Wanting action instead she reached out and took Karma's hand, unusual since she wasn't the one to initiate physical contact very often. Now, she knew why and maybe Karma had figured it out too.
"Amy?" Karma ventured, pulling her body closer so she could see Amy's face in the low light. "What's going on?"
Silence was too much to bear and Amy was done lying. That was how they had gotten to this place. Misunderstandings and untruths. "I don't know but I didn't write that stuff because I was trying to convince anyone else." She took a deep breath, opened her eyes and, met Karma's panicked face. "I was bored in class and just started doodling and there it was."
Karma's brow scrunched until lines appeared on her forehead. Processing this quickly wasn't something she was built for. She might be better at small talk but dealing with real emotions wasn't her forte. It was so far from it that she couldn't think to do anything but lean forward and stop a millimeter from Amy's face, when neither of them pulled way, she closed her eyes and pressed forward, kissing Amy for real this time.
The why wasn't important to her, just the action made her feel better. If she could give Amy what she needed the guilt might subside but a funny thing happened when Amy's mouth opened and a wandering hand made it's way into Karma's hair. Their tongues touched and a mystifying furor upped her participation. She wrapped an arm around Amy's waist and pulled her in, matching the previous deepening of the kiss. Now, it was a full embrace and Karma could feel Amy's body against hers.
It was a thrill unlike any other. Not even with Liam had she felt this because Amy matched her every move. The stroke of their lips coming together and parting only to rejoin again in a wave of emotion. Hormones intersected with feelings propelled them into deeper waters and Amy moved her hand to Karma's chest, and then pushed back her hair.
The feeling of grazing fingertips against her neck sent Karma even higher. She was awake for the first time in her life and as Amy's hand made it's way down her back she knew she wanted more but that wasn't supposed to happen. This wasn't her plan. The plan was to make Liam fall for her, not to fall for someone else. Amy's hand brushed her lower back, just above her butt and she started, breaking the kiss.
"Um," Karma blurted. "That was something." Nervous laughter bubbled up her throat and out of her mouth. Her eyes strayed everywhere but Amy's.
She hadn't started the kiss or ended it but once again she was along for the ride and what a ride it was. Amy decided that she might not be gay or straight… she might be Karmasexual. Blowing out a puff of air, she moved away, trying not to show just how starry eyed she was. The painful ache in her center and the slickness of her arousal made her want to cry or scream. Anything, to break the awkwardness. "Yeah, it was." She didn't want to speculate on the meaning. Fear kept that from being her intention. No, she wanted to live in a bubble where Karma had meant it; while Karma wanted to exist in a world where she hadn't.
It was clear though, an intangible feeling she was unfamiliar with made her want to do it again or forever. Kissing Amy was a forever kind of activity. "I guess I should get home," she said. "My mom's cooking."
Amy nodded. "It's tofu taco night," she muttered as Karma scooted off the bed and straightened her top. Amy flipped over and stared up at the ceiling spotted with plastic stars, a reminder of more innocent times, indeed.
"So, I'll see you in the morning?" Karma leaned over the bed, daring to get closer to Amy so that she could make her see and confirm that all was okay. Her bright smile was two notches too high.
Amy redirected her gaze and her lips formed a thin line. "Yeah, I'll see you then." Karma moved toward the door, satisfied. "Tell your parents I said thanks for the invite to dinner."
Her hand rested on the door handle. "Sure," she said quietly. "Amy?"
She sat up, resting on her elbows. Contrition and an odd new light shone from Karma's face. "Yeah?"
"Nothing, just goodnight." With a last look at the her best friend, Karma opened the door, slipped through and closed it behind her. Looking at Amy was different now. Instead of glossing over the specifics of her appearance, now she noticed everything. The roundness of her lips and the shine of her hair. Her high cheekbones and how they gave her face a slightly exotic aura. "Damn" She muttered, rushing downstairs and out the door, not bothering to answer Farrah's call from the hallway.
When she made it to the sidewalk, she pulled out her phone and swiped it to life. When she clicked on the text icon she saw her most recent conversations at the top. Number one was Amy and number two, that was Liam. She clicked on his name.
Want to hang out?
The reply came almost immediately. Sure. When and where?
Desperate to take the feeling of wanting Amy out of her body she tried to think of the best possible scenario. Just pick me up at my house. It's on Cherry. Last house on the left. I'll be outside.
Okay. Be there in a few.
She started walking, hoping that physicality would drum some sense into her head. Five minutes was how long it took to walk to her house, cutting through the Stoffer's yard and across the corner lot, she just sat on the curb to wait for Liam. Trying not to think just made her consider everything in more detail, reliving every moment of touching Amy. Maybe she could just kiss it all away. Yes, that would be the way. Kiss Liam and see if it was just Amy. Surely she would feel the same way with him.
Ten minutes later, he pulled up in his seven year old Lexus and rolled down the window. "Need a ride, pretty lady?"
She jumped up and ran around to the passenger side, getting in. "Yes, I do," she said smiling at him. Before he could even pull out, she reached over and grabbed him by the neck pulling their faces together. Lips met, his surprise soon turned to pleasure and she tried to get into it. Mirroring the kind of kiss she and Amy had just shared. Their tongues slid against each other and she waited for the reaction in her gut, the flutter of feelings, but there was nothing.
She pulled away, dropping her hand and frowning. What was she doing? This was what she wanted and somehow it was being ruined. Liam was the dream. He was popular, hot, and… he didn't get her. He just saw her for the fake persona she put on to impress everyone. No one really saw her, except Amy.
She looked up and bit her lip. "Sorry, I've got to go." She opened the door but his hand caught her arm.
"What? Why?" His eyes were wide, nostrils flared, and hormones activated. "You said you wanted to hang out."
She looked around wildly, needing any way to get out of this situation. "I forgot. It's taco night." She broke his grip, much like she broke the kiss with Amy and jumped out of the car, slamming the door. When she ran around the side of the car, she turned momentarily and shouted at his open window. "Sorry! I'll make it up to you." She left him head shaking, chin to the floorboard, and just as hooked as ever.