I know you think I'm hiding on the throne again,

but in the end I know I'm too weak to win.

- death should have not taken thee

I was in a deep chasm of disbelief.

It is not scientifically possible to be reborn, hence the concept of Buddhism is news to me. And it is especially not possible-impossible for a person to be reborn as a anime character and nonetheless a FICTIONAL character from an anime/manga created by a Japanese person.

So a weary hand-rather chubby and smooth-was raised and I was taught(self-taught)to cope with whatever mature language I was spouting in my undeveloped head.

Such as 'fuckfuckfuck'and a favorite, "SHEIT"

Needless to say, I was constantly on edge. Whether Light came to play with my crib, or sit there and stare at me blankly with keen eyes I was constantly flinching away, repeatedly grappling the bars of the crib.

He continued to not blink, and speak in bubbly full sentences.

True genius at heart, eh?

I crawled nimbly out of the crib once, with my mother rushing to my side, cooing panickedly. I blinked owlishly, and then inched to the mirror. Then I saw my reflection.

Dark bags ran under my eyes, and I felt my nose scrunch up in awe. How is that even possible? I thumbed the glass, contemplating if I was a natural insomniac.

I rubbed my eyes as my mother stared at me, a squeal rising up from her throat.

"Sayu-chan, see your eyes? You were born with them." I stared up at her, confused.. How the hell are you born with bags under your eyes?

Is that some kind of birth defect?

I tilted my head slightly, turning to the mirror. I looked... depressed. Strange...

"Let's take you up to sleep!"

I yawned.

The first plan I established was disparaging. I tried to open the door, tenatively pressing my hands to a tall wooden stool. I hoisted my chubby body over the flat surface of the chair as grasped the knob. My hair had been stuck to my sweaty foot, which so long had reached my heel.

"Sayu-chan?" Gasps were sounded. Light clung to his mother's hand as he tilted his head curiously, stumbling at the pace she was going.

I was removed from the door, as mother began to needlessly lecture me about my safety.

I pouted childishly, folding my arms together. I was only trying to regain muscle memory-if it even worked like that- oh, I knew it was dangerous, but it was essential.

Light stared at me for a moment, probably musing of my stupidity.

Oh, get screwed Kira.

The second attempt was absolutely horrendous.

I tried to stand on wobbly legs, grasping the couch for awry support. Mom had tied my hair into scalp biting cornrows, so I had to regularly massage my temples for relief.

As I moved from a crawl to wobbly walking stance, a throb of pain surged through my forehead and I instinctively reached to massage the area.

I fell dramatically on my face, rolling over in pain.

"WAHH!"

I began to wail, loudly.

They say three's a charm.

It's an unlucky number, get it right.

Mom decided to take us shopping for groceries, since dad was working on a case in the police force. I raised my arms high and demanded, rather petulantly I suppose, her to pick my feeble and aching childish body up.

Unfourtunately, only "up! Momma!" Poured from my throat, as I began to make strange vocal noises.

She poised me on her side, holding my body tightly.

"Now, kids... what do you want to get?" Light stared adorably up at her( shiver), prompting, "Apples, please?" I immediately blanched. What the actual fuck!?

I shivered promptly, wrapping my arms around mom's waist. I made a small noise, and managed to babble out" velvet" somehow.

Mom stared at me spectuively, mumbling something that sounded strangely like " oh dear, a sweet tooth"

"All right!"

When we picked up all the essential grocerie needs, mom halted the shopping cart, pointing at the small girl being surrounded by adoring fans. Oh shit.

Misa Amane. A chibified Misa Amane.

"See kids, that's Misa-Misa! She's a poster child! Isn't she pretty?"

I promptly fainted.

The rest of the shock faded when we drove home.

I had been hastily strapped to the back seat of the car and rushed to the hospital, where the doctors assured my mother that nothing was wrong and it was merely shock from seeing a popular idol.

Mother berated them for a while, before they shooed her out and we went home. Light had been a bit quiet, and I became a bit worried. When mom asked him if he was okay, he pouted and muttered offishly "I wanted apples".

I was very scared.

The rain had been pouring healthily, as I breathed on the cold glass of the window. The window was cold to the touch as I pressed my nose to the glass, squishing my senses.

I wondered where L was. If he was faring well. Was he in Wammy's, being secluded by the rest of the geniuses? I had never actually seen his parents in the anime/manga, so it was dark to me.

I sighed blearily, my eyes drooping significantly. Shock took a lot from the body. Thought also did too. I relaxed, pushing my thoughts away.

The last question that wavily lingered was, 'what made characters become this way?'

Note: dear Sayu, now has to regain muscle memory. Her memory is a little disorted since she doesn't know that L is an orphan. She thinks Wammy is an academy.

She is not a mary-sue. She will not change things beyond compare.

This is a fanfiction to fill in irregular spots in my mind and fuel my curiosity for Death Note. The plot is so complex that it disorts your morals and makes you feel like Light and L are playing a flawless game. I added Sayu to move her like a little pawn on a game board to fit the game and make her bend and dent the edges. She'll shake the game and create waves of her own.

The main warnings are essential violence, tested morality, vague conversations, and confusing parodoxes. Life is not all fun and games.