Disclaimer: I do not own the Divergent series or the characters. All rights go to the talented, Veronica Roth.
A/N: Quick shout out to anyone who reviewed chapter one. Thank you SO much, you guys are amazing!
We walk through the abandoned security checkpoint without stopping. On the other side, I see Cara. The side of her face is badly bruised, and there's a bandage on her head, but that's not what concerns me. What concerns me is the troubled look on her face.
- Veronica Roth, Allegiant.
Tobias's POV:
"What is it?" I ask, my voice is steady, even though I feel that my hands are shaking. Cara shakes her head and doesn't look up at me right away.
"Where's Tris?" I question further, trying to ignore the sick filling in my stomach as I watch Cara take a staggering breath before answering me.
"She's in the hospital. Things didn't go like we planned. David…he figured out that we were planning something and put the whole compound on lockdown. Tris and Caleb made it to the Weapon's Lab, but…they both got hurt pretty bad."
I try and force air into my lungs as I suddenly feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me; the air feels sticky and hot despite the cold temperature outside. I have come close to losing Tris so many times now that I don't know if I can handle going through this again.
"What?" Is all I can manage to gasp out loud, my mind suddenly numb.
"But, she's going to be okay right? I mean they were able to fix her up in the hospital right?" Christina's voice sounds desperate as she stares at Cara who just shakes her head again.
"I don't know. David…he shot her. All I know is she was rushed into emergency surgery to fix some internal bleeding. The doctors aren't telling us much, apparently they'll only give details to family and Caleb is… well, he's still unconscious too. He has a bad concussion and was shot in the shoulder." Cara tries to explain as gently as she can, her voice wavering slightly.
"That's bull shit! We're practically her family, better than that coward excuse of a brother she has!" Christina shrieks enraged.
I feel angry too, but my brain stopped listening to Cara after the word surgery…Tris is in surgery and they don't know if she'll recover…
I shove my hands into my pockets in an attempt to hide their constant shaking as I start to panic. I don't want to imagine a world without Tris in it, I can't.
"I know, they wouldn't tell us anything at all at first. They only told us that much because Matthew and I wouldn't stop asking them and I think they got tired of us." Cara stammers.
Amar clears his throat behind me. He's pale and confused as he tries to make sense of what we're talking about. I forgot that he didn't know about our plan to release the memory serum into the compound. Cara must notice this too as she suddenly shifts uncomfortably and turns her attention to him.
"I'll explain, but it's probably easier to show you than tell you at this point." Cara says and beckons us to follow her. I'm about to protest because the last thing I want to do right now is sit down and explain the details of our plan to Amar and how I lied to him. All I can think about is Tris.
I need to see her.
But then I realize we're walking in the direction of the hospital wing. Cara walks through the hospital doors and I wrinkle my nose as the strong stench of chemicals hits my nostrils. I've never liked hospitals. They're cold and smell and usually mean something bad is about to happen. Cara walks a few feet into the main ward where people are being put into different groups. Some are sitting on the beds others are standing, but all of them look stunned and bewildered as they stumble around in daze. I know that look. It's the same one Peter wore seconds after he drank the memory serum.
"My God…" Amar exclaims covering his mouth with his right hand. It doesn't take him long to figure it out.
"You guys planned this?" He asks breathless.
"Well, nothing really went how we planned it, but yes. People needed to know that the Bureau has been lying to them all this time. It was time they knew the truth and the only way to save our city from being destroyed." Cara says, her voice a little more steady than it was before. Amar frowns.
"What lies? What are you talking about?" He demands. I hear Cara talking again, probably explaining to Amar how there is evidence of war before the Purity War, but I stop paying attention again. Pieces of their conversation filter through my brain but most of it I barely catch. Sound is strangely muted, like my mind has turned the volume on low for everything. Nothing else seems important enough to focus my attention on except finding out where Tris is.
Until I see him.
As I look around the crowded ward, suddenly my body freezes as I catch sight of Matthew sitting next to someone lying limp on one of the beds to my left. My breath hitches in my throat and anger swells in my chest, my eyes narrow; Caleb.
This is his fault! If he hadn't been such a coward, Tris would be fine!
I move fast and am by his side in three quick strides before anyone can stop me. Matthew stands up quickly, holding up his hands to block my path.
"Whoa! What are you going to do, punch him? He's already unconscious Tobias." Matthew says sternly, I glare at him.
"This is his fault!" I scream, causing Matthew to jump backwards slightly, but he recovers quickly and slowly shakes his head.
"It's not his fault Tobias. From what we can tell, Caleb tried to stop David. David was shot too and Tris didn't have her gun with her when we found her in the Weapon's Lab, it was in the entryway so Caleb must have shot him. He tried to save her."
"Tris shouldn't have been anywhere near the Weapon's Lab to begin with! Caleb was, not her!" I feel my heartbeat racing as anger courses though me like venom.
I can't help it; it feels good. Suddenly, it's easier to focus all my energy on a single emotion, like anger, instead of focusing on the fact that Tris is fighting for her life at this very moment and there's nothing I can do to help her.
"Maybe so, but don't forget that Caleb wasn't the one who shot Tris." Matthew challenges, still blocking the last few steps to Caleb's bed.
"What the hell happened anyways? Why did she go to the Weapon's Lab with him?" I stare at Matthew, using the voice I used to use as a Dauntless instructor demanding answers of my trainees.
"I'm not sure exactly, Caleb hasn't woken up yet, so the details are a bit unclear but from what we can tell, Tris tried to take his place and he tried to stop her." Matthew stares at me, watching me closely.
It's then the fight goes out of me. My hands drop to my sides and I feel my pulse pounding in my head as the adrenaline, which had been fueling my anger, begins to fade away, leaving me feeling drained.
He's her brother. She loves him. She couldn't watch him die.
I sigh and close my eyes, trying to take several deep breaths. Now that I take the time to think about it, I should have expected something like this. Tris is too kind and selfless to watch her brother die, despite her hatred for him. She's already lost her parents and Caleb is the only connection she has left to them. She wouldn't let go of them so easily. All of a sudden, my body stiffens and I open my eyes as I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up and see Christina standing next to me. She stares at Caleb's still form for a minute and I can't read her expression.
"Come on. Cara said Tris should be in the post-op ward in the back." Her voice is softer than I expected it to be. I let her lead me away from Caleb towards the back of the hospital as she keeps a firm grip on my elbow.
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"No, she can't have any visitors yet. Not until she's more stable." The doctor states simply.
"You told me that five hours ago! Why won't you actually tell me what's going on?" I growl at the doctor annoyed.
"I already told you, Ms. Prior is still in critical condition. Until her condition stabilizes she can't have visitors." The doctor speaks firmly and with authority, daring me to contradict him.
"Dick." I hear Christina mutter under her breath as the doctor walks away, leaving Christina and me standing in the narrow hallway outside of the post op-ward.
About twenty minutes after we had gotten back to the compound all anyone would tell me was, "she's in surgery, you'll have to wait." So, I sat outside the post-op ward for two hours, never moving once despite how sore my back got or how the muscles in my shoulders began to throb painfully from being in the same position for too long until two doctors walked out of the operating room. The minute I saw them I jumped to my feet ignoring the nervous knot in my stomach and asked about Tris's condition, receiving nothing but roundabout answers, and after five hours of the same roundabout answers, I had lost my temper more than once. It probably wasn't smart snapping at the people who literally held Tris's life in their hands, but I had already been running on a short fuse these past few days and knew I was reaching my breaking point quickly.
I manage to offer Christina a small nod in agreement before resuming my spot on the floor outside the post-op ward.
"You could get a chair, you know. I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you brought one over here." Christina says plopping down next to me. I shrug.
"I didn't want to leave until they let me in to see her." I say staring at the wall across from us. I turn toward her in time to see her roll her eyes.
"I'll be right back." Christina says before disappearing down the hallway only to reappear a minute later with two chairs in tow.
"You can pretend that your butt is not sore from sitting on this hard ass floor, but I'm not." She states matter-of-factly as she sets up both chairs before sliding into one. I relent and stand up, reaching behind me to massage the kink in my neck that has been there for the past hour.
"I suppose telling you that you should eat something and get some rest is probably useless, right?"
"Probably." I agree, rolling my shoulders a few times and try to suppress a grimace as I hear something pop and crack, my muscles protesting the movement after being still for so long.
Christina sighs but doesn't say anything else as we settle into a surprisingly comfortable silence. After a while she gets up again and is gone long enough that I think she has possibly gone to lie down for a nap, though when she comes back, she's in a fresh change of clothes. She settles back into the chair she had previously occupied and hands me a wrapped turkey sandwich and a bottle of water.
"We've been here for going on eight hours now. Don't lie to me and tell me you're not hungry." She says crossing her arms in front of her. I unwrap the sandwich and take a bite to appease her, but I set it down after another few forced mouthfuls, my stomach too uneasy to eat anything else without feeling nauseous.
Another two hours pass and I see a different doctor than the one I chewed out earlier heading in our direction, I start to stand up but this time the doctor holds his hands up in surrender when I face him.
"She's stable for now." The doctor tells me before I even get my mouth open to protest.
"I want to see her." I demand for what seems like the millionth time. The doctor stares at me for a few long moments before shaking his head.
"I know you do, but while she's still in critical condition, you can't. It's a precaution we take for our critical patients to not allow visitors until they're more stable." The doctor's tone is calm but professional and unlike the previous doctor, I don't feel like he's talking down to me.
"You just said she was stable." I snap, unable to keep the bitter edge out of my voice.
"She is, but barely. The first 24 hours after an injury of her extent is crucial. The bullet ruptured her liver and we were luckily able to repair the damage but she lost a great deal of blood and as a result we are having a lot of trouble keeping her blood pressure up. We gave her a second blood transfusion and so far, her pressure has stayed up but that could change at any moment. I did manage to get her moved to a private room with a window, so you can at least see her that way." The doctor says as a peace offering, but I can't seem to force my limbs to work properly, my body is frozen as I try to process all the information at once.
She can fight this. I know she can.
"Come on, I'll take you to her room." The doctor says motioning down the hallway for us to follow him.
He leads us down a separate corridor off to the right and stops at a room about a third of a way down the hallway. I stare through the window and instantly feel my heart skip a beat.
If it weren't for the array of tubes and monitors hooked up to her body, she would look like she was asleep, except that Tris doesn't sleep on her back normally and she's never that motionless, even in her sleep she is constantly shifting around. All the machines and wiring in the cramped room make her look even smaller. I press a hand against the glass and put most of my weight on it as I sag against the wall, my forehead pressed on top of my hand.
Christina puts her arm around my shoulder but doesn't say anything and I can't tell if she is trying to comfort herself or me or both of us. She lets her arm drop a minute later though and we stand there silently, side-by-side.
I'm not sure whether we stood there for twenty minutes or for another five hours. The longer I look at Tris, the more I hope that I will start being able to make sense of this whole messed up situation. Part of me is in denial, I try to convince myself that if I stare at her long enough, she will sit up and smile at me and kiss me and maybe yell at me for taking so long to get back and worrying her, but she doesn't move even a finger the whole time.
"How is she?" A deep voice behind me asks. I turn around fast, nearly smacking Amar in the face, not having heard him come up the hallway.
"You really are losing your touch Four. During initiation, you would have heard me coming two miles away." He cracks a small grin, but it doesn't reach his eyes like it normally does.
"I'm a little preoccupied at the moment." I retort, turning back toward Tris.
"I know." Amar says quietly.
"There hasn't been any change. The doctor said the surgery went okay, but they're having trouble keeping her blood pressure up. She hasn't woken up yet." I say, answering his initial question a minute later.
Amar nods slowly in return and shifts his feet, like he's nervous and wants to say something else. I turn to face him, and see that his jaw is set tight and he has dark circles under his eyes. I don't think I've ever seen him look so unsettled in my life.
"Are you okay?" I ask. Amar closes his eyes and runs a shaky hand through his hair.
"Not really." I hear him murmur. I wait for him to continue, knowing better than to question him further.
"How could they lie to us for so long? I feel like such a fool, following them blindly, I should have known better. I'm good at reading people and seeing through their lies, but I never…I never dreamed the Bureau was so corrupt that they would hide so many secrets. I trusted them, I believed in them." Amar sounds disconnected and I'm not unsympathetic. For the second time in his life, the world he thought he knew has been shattered in an instant and both times, the Bureau has been responsible. First, it was the Factions, now it is the lies about genetically pure people being capable of creating war.
"It's not your fault and you're not a fool. People lie. They tell themselves that they're really doing good, that they're bettering humanity, but it's always a cover." I say. I know they are not the most comforting words, but they're true and it's all I can manage at the moment. It feels strange trying to comfort my old mentor, like our roles are reversed.
"I don't know who to trust anymore or if I can even trust anyone ever again." His voice is strained and gets caught in his throat.
"I know the feeling." I agree. He looks up at me and then looks at Tris again.
"I bet you do."
"I guess we just have to…adapt." I say with a small smirk. Amar manages a weak laugh at my use of his favorite command during initiation.
"I guess so." He says, offering me a small grin and looking a bit more like himself before coughing and clearing his throat.
"I also wanted to thank you. George told me you were the one that told him to inoculate himself against the memory serum." Amar stammers, tripping over his words.
"No thanks are necessary." I say and I mean it. It wouldn't have been right to let George lose his memories.
I glimpse at the window on the far side of Tris's room and notice that the sky is slowly turning from black to navy. I glance down at my watch and see that it's 4:30 in the morning. The sun had barely set when we had left for the city. It seems like we've been back for days instead of hours.
Amar sits down in the chair that Christina had gotten for me earlier rubbing his temples like he has a headache. I'd be surprised if he didn't have one. Christina has somehow curled herself up in her chair and is snoring lightly, her head resting against her left arm, which is folded on top of the armrest like a pillow, and her right arm dangles over the armrest. I can't see how in the world she managed to fall asleep in that position, but if she's comfortable like that, I'm not going to protest.
"What are you doing here?" I ask Amar though I'm looking through the small window into Tris's room again. He looks up at me confused.
"I mean, why are you here at Tris's room at 4:30 in the morning?" I clarify.
"Too much on my mind, I couldn't sleep so I thought I'd check on you. I figured you'd be awake, knowing how you are." Amar shrugs nonchalantly.
"I'm fine." I say a little too quickly. Amar raises his eyebrows at me, disbelieving.
"You're far from fine." He says seriously. He stands back up and moves so his standing beside me.
"As long as Tris pulls through this, I will be."
I swallow heavily and wipe a hand across my forehead, willing the heavy grogginess that is trying to take over my body to disappear. Despite how tired I know my body is, I ignore it, determined. I won't go to sleep until I get to hold Tris in my arms and feel for myself that she's going to be okay.
"How did things go with your parents?" Amar asks.
"How did you know about that?" I stare at him mystified. The only other person that knew about my ulterior motives for going to the city that are here are Peter and he can barely remember his own name and…
"Christina." Amar says. I groan. I hadn't forgotten about the meeting with my parents and Johanna, I just had pushed it to the back of my mind, not wanting to think about it just yet.
"It went good I suppose. Johanna agreed to Evelyn's treaty. No uprising and Evelyn has to leave the city forever, assuming everyone listens and agrees when the treaty is announced to the rest of the city." Amar hesitates, watching me closely before continuing.
"What about Marcus?"
I clench my teeth and take a staggering breath before answering.
"I don't know and I don't care. He won't be eligible to lead the city; Johanna basically forced him to agree to that term. But, after that, I don't know." I know my voice sounds hostile and maybe it always will when I talk about Marcus. My eyes widen as another thought occurs to me.
"I have to pick my mother up at the city limits this afternoon." I say more to myself than to Amar, who seems to pick up on my predicament. I don't want to leave Tris.
"Don't worry about that. I'll pick her up for you." Amar says, waving his hand like it's not a big deal. I look up at him grateful.
"Thank you."
"It's the least I can do." I hear him yawn and then stretch his arms above his head.
"I'll see you later." Amar says. He clamps a hand down on my shoulder briefly before walking away with a small wave at me behind his back.
I end up pacing back and forth after a while to give my legs something to do. At one point I glance at the window again and see that early morning sunlight is now streaming into Tris's room, casting a soft, yellow glow across the floor.
It's strange how the world keeps going when your own feels like it might crash down on you at any moment. It doesn't matter what catastrophe we may be facing, the sun will still rise the next morning to bring a new day.
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I'm pacing the hallway for what feels like the thousandth time when I see the doctor from last night slowly walking our way. By now, the sun has fully risen and Tris's room is lit up as the light bounces off the walls. I stop my constant pacing and stare at him, waiting.
"I thought you would want to know that you can go in and see her now. She's not conscious yet, but her blood pressure didn't drop once during the night. She still has a ways to go, but it's a good sign." The doctor says with a small smile on his face.
I don't need to be told twice, already reaching for the door handle to her room. Christina is awake by now and is right behind me.
"Thanks." I tell him. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding, relief flooding me. Before the doctor can say anything else I rush into the room and am by Tris's side in a matter of seconds.
I take her slack hand in mine, feeling it's warmth and squeeze it. I wish she would squeeze mine back in return as I brush a few stray hairs out of her eyes with my other hand and cup her cheek. As I stare at her face I feel my eyes sting and quickly shake my head.
No tears, no crying. I scold myself. Christina is on the opposite side of the bed, her hands balled into tight fists on either side of her body.
"I know it may not look like it, but she is showing signs of improvement." The doctor says quietly behind me. I didn't realize he had followed us into the room.
"Also, I don't know if you want to know, but I checked on her brother, Caleb I think his name is…" He pauses for a minute and I feel my body go rigid at the sound of his name, my throat suddenly dry.
"What about him?" I scowl, not taking my attention away from Tris's face.
"I just thought that… you might want to know that he is stable too. He has a severe concussion, but we won't know until he regains consciousness if any of the damage is permanent. And his shoulder should…"
"Stop!" I shout, cutting the doctor off. I can't hear about Caleb, not right now. I can't just ignore that Tris is lying unresponsive in this bed because of him.
"I'm sorry." The doctor says quickly, looking slightly taken aback. He hesitates for a moment, then backs up and leaves the room.
Smart move. I think. I don't know if I would have been able to restrain from punching him for much longer if he had kept talking about Caleb in front of me. Christina puckers her lips like she just ate something sour and can't quite get the bad taste out of her mouth. She doesn't say anything for a while, instead just sinks into the chair across from me on the other side of Tris's bed.
"She probably would care about how Caleb is doing right now, wouldn't she?" Christina asks, catching me off guard. I grit my teeth and rub my forehead, feeling the beginnings of a headache.
Tris would care about Caleb's condition, she would claim not to and try to act like she didn't care, but she would.
"Yeah." I answer simply, my voice colder than I meant it to be.
I can't let go of my anger at Caleb, despite that I had told Tris yesterday morning that I would work on forgiving him since she had decided to forgive him for his betrayal, but I can't now. How many times will he put his sister's life at a stake before it finally kills her? How many times will he have to betray her before she cuts him out her life completely? Caleb doesn't deserve forgiveness.
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The rest of the morning and afternoon pass in a blur. People come in and out of the room throughout the day, checking on various monitors and scribbling results down on a chart attached to the end of Tris's bed. Sometimes they come in with needles filled with liquid and I wince as I watch them inject the various liquids into the IV line attached to her arm. If Tris were awake, she would demand that they let her inject herself and I don't blame her for it. I know how she feels about other people injecting her with unknown substances since the attack simulation took place, and even though I know that it is medication that is saving her life and not the death serum, it still makes me nervous to watch.
"Tobias, can I come in?" I hear a soft, female voice say. I sit up straight and close my eyes for a brief second as I recognize the voice as my mother's.
I nod, not turning to face my mother. A few moments later I feel her brush a hand against my shoulder, but I pull away from her touch.
"How is she?" She asks quietly.
"No change."
She nods slowly and falters for a moment, bouncing on the balls of her feet for a second before slowly walking around the other side of the bed and perches on the edge of the other chair that Christina had sat in previously. Christina had left a little while ago, saying she wanted to see Uriah and see how Zeke and Hana were doing. Zeke had been avoiding me since we got back to the Bureau and I him. I was taking Cara's advice and giving him his space to grieve. Either one day he would choose to forgive the part I took in his brother's death or he wouldn't and I was prepared to accept either outcome as punishment for my actions.
"You look horrible." My mother observes, watching me closely.
"Thanks." I retort, ignoring her.
"You know, forcing yourself to stay awake all night and starving yourself isn't going to help Tris any and you know she'll be mad when she wakes up and sees you looking like this." My mother waves her hand, gesturing to my disheveled looking state.
I look up at her, stunned. I notice that she had specifically said, "when" she wakes up instead of "if" she wakes up. Even after all these years, I'm amazed that my mother can manage to get through to me the way she does, maybe it's something we never lost and just something I chose to ignore. I sigh, knowing she's right. My brain is thick with fog, clouded by exhaustion and I ache everywhere.
"Here." She says when I don't say anything else and offers me a plastic container filled with what looks like chicken and rice. My stomach grumbles and I realize just how hungry I am. I don't remember how many hours it's been since I had a proper meal, not including the few bites of the sandwich Christina had given me last night.
I only hesitate momentarily before popping off the lid to the container and start eating the chicken. It's not very warm anymore, but it still tastes good. Once the food hits my stomach, I feel my eyelids getting heavy and stifle a yawn, but I manage to finish most of the food. I grip Tris's hand in mine again; harder than necessary to help myself focus on something and to stay awake. I hear the sound of plastic scraping against tile as my mother stands up and walks around the bed so she's beside me again.
"Get some rest." She says softly.
She reaches her right hand up and runs her hand gently through my hair like she used to when I was little and couldn't fall asleep at night. I want to push her hand away but I don't have the energy anymore. It doesn't take much to push me over the edge and she knows it. I glance at Tris's face again as I feel my eyelids droop and let myself fall forward, my upper body sprawled out on the lower half of the bed. I fold my right arm using it as a pillow and in minutes am aware of nothing else as I give in to the exhaustion and fall asleep.
Hey Everyone,
So, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I know it's a lot more description than dialogue compared to the first chapter. And don't worry, I'm going to have Tris wake up soon, I just wanted to make sure I made the time line match up from the first and second chapters. So, pretty, pretty, pretty please let me know what you guys think so far, I really appreciate feedback, good or bad.
Also, I'm thinking of changing the title of this story to Choices Defined instead of Peace After the Storm. Let me know if you guys prefer one over the other, I had been debating between the two titles since I published the story and I'm starting to like Choices Defined better than Peace After the Storm but I don't want to confuse anyone, so let me know. : )
As always reviews are greatly appreciated! They really do make my day and help me get a sense of what people think of my story so far.
- FantasyForever1989