I pressed Mike's contact on my phone. It rang several times. It finished ringing and went to voice-mail. I wanted to hear his voice before I hung up. Hearing the message gave me comforting feeling. I wanted to see him. Right now. But he was at work, or course. After watching mindless daytime TV, I finally drifted into a troubled sleep on the couch. I woke up having had a dream about Dawn. She was right in front of me, her auburn hair glistening in the sunlight. We were in Central Park on a bench. the air was chilly, but not as cold as a usual New York City winter. Maybe it was her. She had a warmth about her, a radiance. Now she was gone. Head in my hands, I started to sob once more. I glanced at clock it was already nearly 8pm. I reached for my phone and dialed Mike up. This time he answered.

"Mike," I breathed into the phone.

"Hi. How are you holding up, Connie?"

"Not well. Could you come over?"

"Yeah, I can be there in 45 minutes," his tone was worrisome.

I cleaned up a little bit for Mike's visit. I didn't know why I was cleaning up. I changed into my house slippers. I glanced at the wall clock, 8:45. I walked to the door, trying to mask how truly destroyed I was.

"Hi," he seemed hesitant.

I stepped aside and he walked in. I offered him something to drink and he declined. I started to go to the couch, but he caught my hand.

"How are you doing?" he asked.

"Fine, I'm-" I broke down.

"Oh, Connie, " he held me.

We sat down, my head went to rest on his shoulder.

"It's so unfair, Mike," I said through my tears.

"I know, I'm so sorry," his consoling was soothing.

Suddenly, I had a desire to never leave his embrace. I kissed him. He returned the kiss at first, but he broke it to look at me.

"Connie, I don't know if this is the right time. You're fragile right now. I don't want to take advan-"

"You wouldn't be. I'm sure about this."

I kissed him again. I wasn't thinking about the repercussions of what would follow. I looked at Mike. He wasn't just my boss anymore. He was about to become something...more. I studied his face and searched for an answer to a question I wasn't able to answer on my own.

"Its okay," He took my hands in his as he told me this.

I touched his lips with the tips of my fingers. I hoped he wouldn't say anything because was I already nervous. He placed his hands on my hips. I was a few inches away from his mouth. This was actually going to happen. I was going to kiss him. His brow furrowed and he abruptly pulled my fingers away from his lips. I was about to kiss him, why did he stop me?

"You're sure?" he whispered.

I nodded.

I rested my hand at the back of his neck and kissed him. Mike, returning the kiss, put his arms around me and held me close.

His hands strayed lower than my hips. He pressed his hand against my thigh. Then, he eased it slowly up the length of my thigh, stopping half way. I took off his jacket and started to loosen his tie. He broke the kiss only to pull off my sweater. I felt naked in my camisole even though I had my pajama pants on.

Honestly, I did feel a little nervous, but at the same time I felt very safe. But I wasn't thinking about this life altering decision anymore. I was focusing on how good it felt. While I was realizing slowly that it felt so natural being with him like this, Mike had started kissing my neck. It was a sensation I hadn't felt in a long time. Closing my eyes, I wrapped my arms around him and gave a soft moan. He then went to my shoulder and started kissing there. Though, losing myself to this feeling didn't seem like the right thing. Dawn had just died and here I was about to.. I knew what would happen next. By that time, Mike was starting to slip his hand down the back on my pants. I could have stopped him, I had a damn good reason, but I didn't. I wanted him and he wanted me. I was electrified once I realized where his hand was. I gasped. My pants came off and I was practically on his lap. I was hyper aware that I was in my panties and a camisole only. Mike pulled off his tie as we walked to my bed room. He caught up with me and grabbed me. Slowly, he stripped off my camisole. I covered myself. On some level I was embarrassed. He pulled down my hands gently and looked me in the eyes.

"You're beautiful," he said.

"Thank you," I blushed.

We tumbled onto the bed. I could see his hand shaking when he went to touch me. I started trembling with anticipation. I wanted him so much. His hand roamed over me and I gripped the sheets. My breathing became heavy. I felt his lips on my skin. Making a small whimper, I bit my lip. We made love and it was perfect.