Sarah and Steve

Sixteen Years Later

Stephania Joy McGarrett wondered when things had gotten this bad. Growing up, she had considered herself lucky because she knew no one else whose parents were so disgustingly in love with each other. In fact, at times it could get embarrassing, especially in front of her friends.

It was horrifying when her dad would swoop her mom into his arms and they would start to make out like teenagers. It was even worse when she and her sisters had walked in on them, wanting to wish their dad a Happy Birthday. Her youngest twin sisters had been too young to notice what their parents had been up to, but she and Sylvie had just turned seventeen and twelve respectively, and they had not spoken to their parents for a week.

Now as she looked around the dining table, she could feel tears prick her eyes. It was Thanksgiving and her family was in shambles. Her parents were barely on speaking terms, Sylvie refused to come home from New York for the holidays because she couldn't stand to be around their dad, and the twins, Sierra and Sky were too confused to know who to support so they had shut down into their own little world.

At twenty – four, Stephania had decided to be the diplomat in the family, since no one else wanted the job. She had to give her parents credit for not fighting in front of the little ones, but she had been witness to some very sarcastic comments and snide remarks passed between the two of them.

"Stephie, could you please pass the yams?" her father asked. She watched him eat his food, his nearly grey head bent over his plate, not looking at anyone.

Why they were even having this sham of a thanksgiving dinner was beyond her, "Why don't you ask mom, its right next to her" Sierra said loudly and rather rudely.

"Sierra, behave" Stephie said in a warning tone.

"Who died and made you my mother?" she said rudely again, shocking Stephie completely.

"When did you start talking to me like that?" She countered, putting her fork down.

"Can we just pass these yams to your father and finish dinner? I have an early flight to catch in the morning" Her mother spoke up finally, passing the yams to Sky, who looked ready to jump out of her seat like a scared rabbit. She quickly passed the dish to their dad, got up and left the room.

"You know what? This shit blows, I'm off!" Sierra threw her napkin on the table and got up. She grabbed her handbag from the chair near the fridge and walked to the front door.

"Aren't you going to stop her?" mom spoke in the general direction of dad, who had already started to get up from his seat.

"Sierra, you get in here right now" he said loudly following her to the driveway.

Stephie turned to her mother, "What has been going on? If you and dad cannot stand to be in the same room as each other, why the hell don't you both just get divorced?"

"And what about the girls? They're too young" her mother mumbled as she pinched her nose, which meant she had a migraine coming.

"Ma, what good is it doing them with you guys staying together?" Stephie got up from her seat and moved close to her mother. She put her arm around her, "Ma what happened to you guys? You used to be so happy".

Her mother laughed mirthlessly, "That is for your father to answer" she said quietly, "I am so sorry baby girl, that you had to come home to this chaos" she said as she put her arms around Stephie's shoulders and hugging her tight. "I think I should go check on Sky".

When her mother left, Stephie cleared up the table, took her wineglass, wine bottle and went out onto the beach. This place had some of her best memories growing up. She remembered the time her dad had taught her how to swim, her mom watching from the beach. He had teased her mercilessly about not being able to swim even after years of trying to teach her. They had celebrated her mother's thirtieth birthday party, for which her dad had baked a very questionable cake, with the help of Aunty Kono.

And she would never forget the time her parents had been having one of their silly fights and when her mom had asked him what his problem was, he had calmly replied that he was sick and tired of being bombarded by PMSing females and it was finally his time! They had all burst into cackling laughter and dragged him into the water to cool him off.

Now she stood here, her family on the verge of breaking up. All she could think of was, what if there was a time machine…

"Hey kiddo, I thought I would be able to find you here" dad spoke from behind her. He sat next to her in the sand and put his arm around her shoulder.

"I just needed to get some air" She took a sip from her glass and offered it to her father. Even at fifty - eight, her father was an imposing figure. Growing up, the two boyfriends she had brought home had been terrified of him.

"So what were you thinking about?" he asked her, passing the glass back to her.

"I was thinking about Jason Liefting and how he ran from the house without even giving me a goodnight kiss. I thought him terribly rude" she laughed.

He laughed at that as well, "Well, it probably didn't help that Danno and I made it a point to show off our badges and guns".

"Not to mention, when you actually pulled a gun on Luke Scott, when he brought me back fifteen minutes after curfew" she looked at her father, "What happened to you dad? You couldn't even stop Sierra from leaving the house?"

Her father's broad, solid shoulders drooped as if he had all the burden in the world on them, "Things have been bad the last few years".

She snorted, "Dad, bad is an understatement. This family is practically in meltdown and no one is talking about it. I tried to get something out of Sylvie when she came to live with me in New York. The twins barely acknowledge me and when they do, one hardly talks and the other is rude beyond belief. And mom, says you are the one to answer all my questions" she turned to him and said, "So dad tell me what is the problem and how did we get this bad?"

For a long while, her father remained silent. When she had given up and was about to go back inside, he spoke. "Whatever we are going through is all my fault. There is no one else to blame but me for this dysfunction".

She hated hearing her father sound so dejected, she had never seen him like this. "Dad what happened? Why is Sylvie so angry with you that she refuses to come back home".

"Since I met your mom, I have put her through so much that I think she has finally decided that she should never have been with me in the first place".

"What are you talking about? You and mom are so in love with each other".

"I am, I'm not so sure about your mom though" he sighed as he took the bottle from her and took a swig of the wine, "You see she thinks I cheated on her".

Stephie raised her eyebrows, "You cheated on mom?"

"God no, but I came very close to it" he spoke quietly. "But she refuses to believe me".

Stephie could hear the tears in his voice. He tried his best to cough and clear his throat, but she saw a tear slip down his cheek in the moonlight. "Oh Dad" she hugged him around the waist and rested her head on his chest. His strong heartbeat under her ear, reassured her as it always did. "We're the McGarrett's, we can get through anything".

Her father hugged her closer, "I miss her and all my girls. I have to find a way to make it up to her" he breathed in the sea air, "Oh baby, I miss her so much".

She squeezed him tighter, "I know dad. Don't worry, everything will be okay" She rose up and kissed him on his cheek. "I had a long day and I have to get up early to drop mom to the airport, so I'm off to bed. Goodnight daddy".

"Sweet dreams baby" he said kissing her forehead, "I'll see you in the morning".

-X-

Sarah tip-toed past Steve, who was supposedly sleeping on the couch. Supposedly because Steve was and always would be a SEAL, even the slightest change in breath would alert him at the most surprising of times. He was avoiding her, just like she was avoiding him.

This was no trivial fight they were having. Everyone around them was used to them not talking for a couple of days, then make up almost as if nothing had happened. But this time, it had been one too many things adding up against Steve. Over the years she had taken all kinds of shit from him, from him disappearing for days on end without telling her, leaving her with four kids, not knowing whether he will be back in one piece or in a body bag. That she had dealt with, somehow. She had buckled down and realised that she had married a man who would never change and she had made a commitment and she loved him.

However a year ago, he had crossed a line and done something that she was not sure she could ever forgive. For the last year she had been trying, but she was getting tired and wasn't sure how long she could go on avoiding the issue.

This morning she tried to be as quiet as possible as she made her coffee and got ready to leave for New York for a lecture she was giving at Columbia University as a guest at her mentor's request. She was going to use this as an opportunity to relax with her mother and Sylvie and get away from the stress of it all.

"Ma? You leaving already?" a tiny voice spoke from behind.

Sarah felt tears in her eyes at the sad tone of her baby's voice. "Not right now sweetie. You want to have breakfast with me?" she asked her. Sky had always been the shy one compared to Sierra, but ever since the situation between Sarah and Steve had deteriorated, she had withdrawn even more into herself. The only person she talked to was her twin, who thankfully had finally crawled in at three a.m, drunk and being carried in by one of her classmates.

"Okay" she said in a small voice.

Sarah quickly whipped up some eggs and pulled out some bacon, knowing soon everyone would be up and hungry. She prepared a fresh pot of coffee for Stephie and Steve and if Sierra woke up before she left.

"Good morning Daddy" Sky spoke up.

Sarah's back stiffened as she mixed the eggs on the stovetop.

"Morning baby" she heard Steve kiss Sky. "Something smells great" he said.

"Mom's making breaky before she leaves. Want some coffee?" Sky proceeded to get her father's mug out and pour him some the way he liked it. Steve still used the crooked blue mug emblazoned with 'World's best Daddy' the twins had made him for father's day.

"Thank you sweetheart" he took his mug and gulped loudly.

Sarah finally turned and tried not to look at him. Despite everything, her heart still stopped every time she looked at him. His thick black hair was salt and pepper and he still had a great body, his muscles still strong. He worked out every day and took care of himself, not because of his job but because it had become a way of life for him.

"Daddy are you going to kiss Mom?" Sky hinted, "Like you used to?"

"Why not?" He put on a smile as he made his way toward her. She froze as she looked up and saw that glint in his eyes. The glint that said he was slightly turned on. She could read him like a book and she knew exactly when he wanted it from her. "Good morning sweetheart".

Steve cupped her face and bent his head, his lips touched hers in a light kiss that brought tears to her eyes, it was so sweet. It had been months, maybe more, since they had kissed. She couldn't help herself, her arms went around his neck and she angled her head as he deepened the kiss. She felt his arms go around her waist and lift her up against his chest.

A discreet cough and gasp distracted them and they broke apart to watch Stephie's back and Sky's black braid disappear from the kitchen, followed by giggling.

"At least we made the girls happy" Steve murmured.

Sarah pushed out of his arms, "I have to get ready and you need to go to work". She went to leave the room, but Steve snagged her hand.

"Can I get a kiss before you leave?" he said looking cocky, but he had a vulnerability about him, expecting to get rejected.

She extracted her hand from his tight hold, "I'll be late for my flight".

"Have a safe flight. I'll see you when you get back" he let go of her hand and turned away, trying his best to hide his disappointment from her.

-X-

Steve watched as Stephie helped load Sarah's bags into the Red Jeep that had now become the default vehicle for whoever was visiting.

God, he missed his wife. He watched her thick long black hair swing as she deftly got into the Jeep. From a distance she still looked like the young girl he had fallen in love with, in her skinny jeans and plain white t – shirt, her feet in tan leather boots. Looking at her no one could tell she was the mother of four grown girls.

Even up close she didn't look like she was in her late forties, in fact she didn't look a day over thirty – five, her skin still smooth of any wrinkles, except when she laughed. And his wife hadn't laughed in a long time. He missed her laugh.

And it was his entire fault. He had no one else to blame for his wife's unhappiness and his family's chaotic state.

Steve couldn't believe how stupid he had been. How could he have even thought he could give up his family for a moment of gratification? But he knew that was not the only reason why Sarah was angry with him. She was angry with him because he had almost slept with a woman who had meant a lot to him in the past – Catherine.

If he closed his eyes, he could still see Sarah's face and the shock in her eyes when she had walked in on Steve and Catherine kissing in his office.

They had been working on a case together and had gotten talking about the past. Catherine had been telling him about her divorce and how she missed him and what they had had.

Steve had crossed a line that should never have been crossed. He was very much in love with his wife, but over the years he had taken it for granted that she would always be there for him. He had become complacent as a husband. He had taken advantage of her trust.

He didn't want to think of what would have happened if she hadn't walked in. He would have liked to think that he would have stopped himself from sleeping with Catherine, but he was not sure.

To be honest, Steve had started to resent the fact that he was no longer the centre of his wife's world anymore. In his head he knew that was ridiculous, he had always liked the fact that Sarah had been independent, had always encouraged her academic pursuits. But she had been working on her PhD and she had gotten busy and stressed, as a result they had drifted apart a little. Their sex life had suffered and that had been one department in their marriage that had never suffered.

God, he was a selfish bastard! Sarah had supported him through thick and thin. She had been through hell and back because of him and he had repaid her by almost sleeping with another woman. No wonder she hated him! He should have let her know how proud he was of her. That she had accomplished so much in her life, her marriage, four children and a successful career. He was proud that his wife had achieved so much and still been able to deal with the shit that he put her through, instead he had betrayed her trust.

He thought about the kiss they had shared this morning. He had seen in her eyes the desire and love. She had even responded like she always had, melting in his arms, giving herself up to their kiss. That gave him hope.

He closed his eyes and prayed he could still get his wife back. He had to because he knew he couldn't live without her.