This is My Crazy Life Ch 7

Just a filler so I don't get beaten with a hockey stick. :) I'm going to warn you that there is some language you probably won't get offended by, but just in case. And again, I don't own the Sandlot or the Drifters. JUST JENNY. Thank you. –WHATaDAY

We were playing on an unusually cloudy day when we heard wheels rolling on the grass. Everyone started grouping up. Scotty and I were in the back.

A group of dumbass little boys in matching jackets rode up acting all high and mighty. The one who appeared to be the leader spoke.

"It's easy when you're playing with a bunch of rejects and a fat kid, Rodriguez."

"Shut your mouth, Phillips," Benny said.

"What'd you say, crapface?" Ham shouted, offended.

"I said you shouldn't even be allowed to touch a baseball. Except for Rodriguez, you're all an insult to the game."

Ham did not like that. "Come on, we'll take you on right here, right now!" Everyone agreed.

"We play on a real diamond, Porter. You ain't even good enough to lick the dirt off our cleats." Ain't?

"Watch it, jerk!"

"Shut up, idiot!"

"Moron!"

"Scab eater!"

"Butt sniffer!"

"Puss licker!"

"Fart smeller!" Bertram sniffed the air and said, "Ah…"

Phillips said, "You eat dog crap for breakfast, geek."

"You mix your Wheaties with your mama's toe jam!" Everyone agreed with Ham, but I had had enough.

"Oh, my God, you dumbasses. These are the BEST insults you can come up with? That's pathetic."

"Oh, there's a girl, is there? What is she, your little cheerleader? Come 'ere, Peaches. I'll show you what it's like to cheer for a team that can actually play," Phillips remarked. That loser!

"I suggest you shut the hell up before I cut off your dick and shove it down your throat."

"But, Baby, won't I choke?" I chuckled.

"No, Sweetheart. Your junk is so small that it would feel like dry-swallowing a pill." I held my thumb and forefinger apart about the length of a horsepill. I tilted my head to the side, pursed my lips, and nodded with a knowing look. The boys, now behind me, laughed and "Ohhhhhhh'ed."

Phillips chuckled (falsely, haha), and he turned his attention back to Ham. "You bob for apples in the toilet, and you like it."

"You play ball like a GIRL!" Hey!

"HEY. Ham, shut the fuck up," I said. I never say that word, but he got it out of me. Damn him.

The boys looked at me like :O, and Phillips said, "You know, I would never insult a girl."

I smiled. "That's awesome." I walked over to him and took his hat, which I placed on my head. I put my lips up to his ear and whispered, "Thanks." I blew in his ear, all the while raising my right hand. I was holding my mitt in that hand, and I smacked the back of his head with it. My boys laughed their asses off, and I smiled at him while holding my hands behind my back and wiggling my shoulders back and forth. I walked backwards towards the guys, and when I was standing next to Benny, I winked at Phillips.

"Tomorrow, noon, at our field." His voice cracked, and I snickered.

Ham spoke up again. "Count on it, pee-drinking crap face!" The guys all said, 'YEAH!" and Phillips grabbed his bike and started riding away. I called after them, "Have fun with your butt buddies!"

When they were gone, Squints said, "Damn, Jenny! You kicked ASS. I know not to mess with you now…"

I looked at Ham and said, "Yeah… Ham, you got lucky."