Katniss' POV

Everything was wrong.

After what had happened last year, senior year was supposed to be different, fun, the best year of my life. In reality though, Peeta and I had broken up and Finnick was fighting for his life.

I hadn't even had enough time to process the fact that Peeta and I were no longer together when he called in the middle of the night to tell me about Finnick. To be honest, I wasn't even going to answer the phone once I saw it was him calling, but I'm so glad I did. I never imagined that things would be so awkward between us, but I couldn't even meet his eye while we waited in the Emergency Room. It was I who had done the breaking up, after all, and seeing the hurt in his eyes was killing me.

I went home from the hospital and cried more than I ever had before. I cried so much I embarrassed myself, but I didn't even care. I never thought I would be the type of girl to get her heart broken, but there I was, wrapped up in bed surrounded in tissues, Prim handing me a tub of ice cream. It was totally clichéd, but it was what I really needed.

After our father died, I hardly had any time to cry at all. My mother grieved enough for all three of us, and instead I had to get straight to work to look after Prim. Now, however, all I wanted was someone to look after me.

"Katniss?" Prim appeared in the doorway. "Johanna's here."

"Oh God, really?" I sniffed. I half-heartedly tried to clear away some of the tissues on my bed before giving up.

"Wow, you look like shit." Johanna remarked upon entering my room.

"Welcome to my pity party." I tried to joke as she flopped down on my bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked, exasperated.

"What does it look like?" I replied sullenly, not in the mood for her attitude.

"Nope, this is not happening." Johanna said stubbornly, taking the ice cream tub out of my hands.

"Hey!" I tried to protest, but I knew it was no use.

"Look, I know you just broke up with your boyfriend and one of your best friends nearly died, but Katniss Everdeen does not wallow."

I stole the ice cream tub back. "Well, maybe she does now."

"No, she doesn't." Johanna insisted. "Katniss Everdeen picks herself up and keeps going because that is the kind of kick ass girl she is."

"Thanks, but that Katniss has gone on vacation. A vacation that involves eating a lot of ice cream."

"Seriously Katniss, get up." Johanna laughed. "We've got to go see Annie."

At that point, making sure Annie was okay was the only thing that could get me to leave the apartment. Dragging myself out of bed and taking a quick shower, Johanna managed to get me onto the subway only half an hour later.

When we arrived at Annie's apartment, her aunt let us in, her face tight with worry.

"How is she?" Johanna asked softly.

"Not good." Tears appeared in Mrs Cresta's eyes. "She hasn't been this bad since…her parents…"

Poor Annie, I thought, as we walked towards her room. Her parents died in a car accident and then Finnick nearly did too. If anyone deserved to wallow, it was Annie. However, when we walked into her room we found her busy, sitting cross-legged on the floor, surrounded by a pile of her clothes.

"Hey, Annie." I said softly.

A smile briefly flickered across her face when she turned to face us. If I thought I looked bad, well, Annie looked ten times worse, and it was clear that she hadn't been sleeping at all. Johanna didn't have any rude remarks to say to her though.

"What are you up to?" I asked, as Johanna and I sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Just sorting through some of my clothes." Annie answered. "Some of this stuff I haven't worn in years, I almost forgot I had it! I was thinking of donating a lot of it to charity. Hey Katniss, maybe some of this will fit Prim, do you think she's like it? She could come over and take a look if she wanted." Annie was talking so fast I could hardly keep up.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Annie slow down!" Johanna laughed.

"Oh, sorry." Annie bit her lip. "I just need to keep myself busy." She started to sift through the clothes again, "Otherwise I think about…"

Suddenly, Annie trailed off as she picked up a sweater I instantly recognised as Finnick's.

"This is…" Annie choked up, her face starting to crumble. In one movement she pulled it over her head to wear it, wrapping her arms around her self as if it made her feel close to him again.

"I've been trying not to cry, but…" Annie couldn't finish her sentence before the tears started to stream down her cheeks.

"Annie, hey." Johanna said softly. "It's okay."

Annie came and sat between us, and Johanna wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tight.

"He's going to be okay, Annie." Johanna said seriously. "Finnick is the most stubborn person I know, and he loves you, Annie. He loves you. He's going to wake up, okay?"

Annie nodded, the tears starting to slow. I was a little surprised, to be honest, by how kind Johanna was being. She really did care, after all.

"How are you Katniss?" Annie asked, sitting up and looking at me with puffy eyes. "I'm really sorry about you and Peeta."

"Hey, I'm okay." I lied. "I guess it was for the best."

"Finnick and I had been talking about what he should do next year." Annie continued, her voice shaking when she said his name. "I just wish…I just wish I could tell him that it doesn't matter what he does, it just matters that we're together…" Her eyes started to tear up again. "You should talk to Peeta. Don't give up on what you have."

Annie's words stayed with me long after we left her apartment, after Johanna and I helped her sort though the rest of the clothes. It seemed to take her mind of off things for a while, and I was glad I had gotten out of bed and gone to see her.

Johanna was right of course, I wasn't the type of girl to wallow. Until I met Peeta, I didn't need to be with anyone at all, so I would be fine on my own. However, for some reason I still couldn't shake my feelings towards Peeta Mellark, and maybe I really wasn't ready to give up just yet.

It was Christmas day, but I had never felt less merry in my whole life. I went through the motions however, of opening the small amount of presents under our Christmas tree, cooking up a meagre feast and even reading out the lame Christmas cracker jokes. Prim already had our mother, who was deep in her own grief, and she didn't need me to make things worse.

As I was washing the dishes with Prim, I couldn't help but wonder how Peeta was coping during Christmas with his family. Maybe they were having a great time, now that the scholarship girl was no longer threatening their reputation.

I was broken from my bitter thoughts, however, by an unfamiliar text message tone. I turned to see Prim rush to our room and bring back a shiny new smartphone.

"Prim, where did you get that?" I asked at once. There was no way she could have afforded that.

"Lumi gave it to me, for Christmas." Prim said simply.

"Do you know how expensive they are?" I honestly couldn't believe it.

"Yeah, she can afford it." Prim looked at me like I was an idiot.

"There is no way you can accept that, Prim."

"I already did."

"I didn't even think you wanted something like that."

"Everyone at school has one." Prim replied.

"So?" I exclaimed.

"So, I'm not like you Katniss." Prim cried, "I want to fit in."

"I've heard bad things about Lumi, Prim. You don't want to fit in with her."

Prim rolled her eyes at me. "Another lecture, Katniss? Really?"

I looked at my sister, who had never spoken to me like that in her whole life, and I realised I had never spoken to her like that either. "I don't want to argue with you, Prim." I said softly. "Not today."

Prim rolled her eyes again and took her new phone back into our room. Sighing, I turned to leave the apartment instead, to find the one person who I knew could take my mind off of things.

However, it took a whole five minutes for him to open the door, after I knocked at least a thousand times.

"About time!" I said, as Haymitch opened the door for me.

"What are you doing here, sweetheart." Haymitch asked. "I'm not coming up for pudding, if that's what you're going to ask. I refuse to be merry."

"Good." I said, stepping inside. "Because I've come here to drink."

"Finally, something I can help you with." Haymitch cracked a smile.

He lead me inside his dark, messy apartment, that reeked of alcohol and dampness. I flopped down onto an old couch with creaking springs, and Haymitch handed me a bottle. I took a huge gulp that burned my throat, but I didn't care.

"Geez, what's happened to you?" Haymitch chuckled.

"I don't want to talk about it." I replied.

"Haven't seen that boy around for a while." Haymitch continued. He was much more observant than he let on.

"Yeah well, we broke up." I took another swig from the bottle.

"What are you going to do about it?" Haymitch pressed.

"I'm going to stay here right here." I replied. "What else can I do?"

To my surprise, Haymitch lunged forward and snatched the bottle out of my hand.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, "You've got to be nice to guests, remember?"

"And you know all about being nice, don't you?" Haymitch replied.

"What's with everything being rude to me today?" I slumped into the couch, closing my eyes. I finally spoke the words I had been holding onto for days. "I'm so sick of everything. I wish I'd never gone to The Capitol School."

"Why?" Haymitch demanded.

"I thought I would be okay, that I could get the grades I needed and then forget all about it. But even if I do get into Yale, it's just going to be the same all over again- feeling like an outsider because of where I come from. I'll never escape it and I may as well give up now."

"Listen, sweetheart." Haymitch said, suddenly serious. "I've seen way too may kids with potential end up stuck here like me. I don't want that to happen to you, you hear me? Don't give up."

"What are you, my life mentor?" I replied. "I didn't come here for a lecture." I stood to leave, making my way through the mess on his floor to the front door.

"And don't give up on that boy, either." Haymitch called. "I liked him, he brought me fresh bread whenever he came to visit you."

I rolled my eyes. Only Peeta could be that good, better than I would ever be. "Merry Christmas, Haymitch." I said, before slamming his door shut.

Instead of going back to my apartment, I sat down on the curb outside for what felt like years. It was so cold I almost froze in place, until finally I picked myself up and trudged inside, feeling even less merry than when I woke up.

Gale had convinced me to hold our traditional New Years Eve party, even though I didn't think there was anything to celebrate.

"Come on, Katniss." Gale said as we hung up fairy lights. "Lighten up." He flicked on the switch, and as the lights started to glow, he chuckled at his own terrible joke.

I shot him an unimpressed look, but suddenly I couldn't help but laugh too. Suddenly the two of us were almost doubled over, laughing so hard that I had soon forgotten what it even was we were laughing at. Rory and Prim looked at us like we had gone insane, and for a moment I wondered if I actually had. Honestly, I wasn't even sure if I cared.

Eventually I calmed down and everything was set up, so I walked into my room to get ready. I found Prim sitting by the mirror applying mascara to her eyelashes. Beside her sat a whole box of makeup I had never seen before.

"Since when do you wear makeup?" I asked, confused.

"Since Lumi gave me some of hers that she had spare." Prim replied, putting on pink lip gloss.

Sighing, I decided not to say anymore, because I didn't want to upset Prim once again. So I got ready in silence, trying to will myself into looking forward to the night.

To my surprise, things went better than I thought. Prim danced with Rory until they were dizzy, and even Haymitch got up and danced for a while. Madge and Gale were utterly inseparable, and Annie had managed to come with Johanna.

The three of us stood by the window, thinking about how this time last year Finnick was the life of this party. I couldn't help but notice how something just seemed to be missing this year.

I was about to suggest we dance, when I saw Peeta walk in. Suddenly the music and the noise and the movement all disappeared and all I could focus on was him, at the other end of the room.

"What's he doing here?!" I exclaimed, suddenly annoyed because I was trying to forget about him for the night.

"I invited him." Annie told me. Before I could protest, she continued. "Life's too short, Katniss. Everything that has happened has taught me that. You love Peeta and he loves you. That's all that matters."

I sighed. Annie was right, there was no use trying to pretend as though I didn't love Peeta. So, keeping my eyes locked on his, I crossed the room and motioned for him to follow me.

We walked in silence up to the rooftop, but suddenly my courage gave way when he looked at me.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what I'm doing, I need to go." I said hurriedly, but Peeta stopped me.

"Katniss, please." he said, his eyes pleading with me to stop. "Stay for a moment?"

Even though my head was telling me to go, I stayed where I was. Peeta took a deep breath before staring to speak.

"This has been Hell, Katniss." he said honestly. "Don't try and act like it hasn't been for you too."

I didn't reply, but the way I couldn't look him in the eye gave him his answer.

"Let's just forget about this, Katniss. I love you, and I need to be with you. Please, can we get back together?"

"But what about college?" My voice didn't sound like my own.

"We don't have to tell my parents."

"What if they find out?"

"They won't." Peeta sounded so sure of himself that I couldn't help but believe him. "It will be hard, and I don't want to keep you a secret…but if that's what it takes…"

I stared at Peeta, deep in thought. Maybe we could keep our relationship a secret from his parents, maybe everything could work out. However, as soon as I started to feel hopeful, the alternative crossed my mind. If his parents did find out, Peeta would have nothing and it would be all my fault. It was then that Annie's words repeated in my mind. Life really was too short not to at least try to make things work. I thought we at least owed it to Finnick too.

I decided not to worry about the future, or even about tomorrow, and I suddenly felt more free than I had in a long time. All that mattered right then and there was that I was with Peeta and that I was in love with him. I stepped forward, he didn't hesitate to pull me into his arms, and as our lips met the New Years Eve fireworks exploded into the night sky all around us. Maybe things would be okay after all.

A/N: I hope everyone is enjoying this so far! Also, thanks to the reviewer who asked about Haymitch, you gave me the idea to include him in this chapter :)