You guys seriously rock my socks off. I love you all and I can't thank you enough for your kind words! I'm so happy everyone is intrigued! I hope you like this chapter just as much. Also, as a little side note, I may not post the next chapter tomorrow morning, but rather the day after. Today was pretty busy (my boys parents are visiting), and I've only finished half of the next chapter! Thanks for understanding!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight Saga or any of the characters in the story.
Chapter 4
That night I lay in bed with Claire snoozing in my ear and my thoughts buzzing in my head like a swarm of angry bees.
No matter how hard I tried I could not fall asleep, despite the fact that yesterday it had been so easy for me. It was frustrating, and I tossed and turned in the tiny bed, made even smaller by the sprawling four year old beside me.
Staring up at the dark ceiling I began to dread the next day at school.
I'd have to face all of those people again. Even the ones that I hadn't met, if they hadn't known who I was yesterday, they would know me as the new girl who liked to punch people. That wasn't exactly the image I had been aiming for. Although maybe I had managed to weed out all of the moronic sheep in this small, sleepy, narrow minded town.
Shifting again on the bed, I could feel my pants riding up my calves and Claire had started to snore softly.
Groaning quietly I extricated myself from Claire's hold and got out of bed. I debated going downstairs and getting some food, but honestly I wasn't too hungry. Instead I pushed down the legs of my sleep pants back into their place and grabbed my sweatshirt off the dark ground. Slipping out of the room, I crept down the stairs and walked towards the kitchen.
The floor was cold under my bare feet, but I continued across the linoleum floor and unlocked the back door leading to the backyard.
The door squeaked a bit, but not enough to alert Charlie upstairs. I hoped that Claire didn't wake up before I got back. Maybe some fresh air would help to clear my mind.
Stepping down the wooden stairs, I stepped into the cool, wet grass and wiggled my toes. The feeling was enough to help my shoulders droop a bit from their tense place around my ears. Rolling my head back along my shoulders, I breathed deeply the cool fresh air that swept through the boughs of the trees in the forest only twenty feet away.
As I had done multiple times over the past couple of weeks, I began to think about what I would be doing if all of this hadn't happened.
I'd probably be back at that enormous high school in Phoenix. Just a little fish in a big pond. No one knew my name, and it was fabulous. I was consistent in my grades, and the only extracurricular activity I participated in was the book club. Although I never had gone to any of the meetings.
Claire would still be in her ballet classes. Her little pink leotards, and shoes in a gym bag in the back of my car so that I could drive her to class after I'd gotten out of school. She'd giggle when I tickled her to make her stop pouting over something silly like, not being able to have ice cream for dinner, or not being able to actually hug the moon before bed.
But Renee would still be depressed.
She'd still drink like a fish when her medications were all out because she'd taken the pills 10 times faster than was prescribed on the bottle. She'd still have fits of rage when she couldn't find her healing crystals that the gypsy girl at Burning Man had given to her a few years back. She'd still want to die.
And I wondered if there was anything that I could have done to stop it.
If I had paid attention to the signs better.
If I'd understood that it wasn't normal. What she was going through wasn't normal.
All I needed was my mother. All Claire needed was her mother.
But we both had to realize that wasn't going to happen.
As my thoughts circled around my head, I found that a few tears had slipped from my eyes. Standing there in the silence of the backyard, I cried slowly for the mother that would never return to her children.
And then I heard it.
My eyes snapped open, and my ears strained. Eyebrows furrowed, I wondered if it had been my imagination. But then again, carried on the night wind was a scream. It was faint, and high pitched, but it was pained.
The pounding in my chest accelerated as I took a few steps forwards towards the tree line. Frantically searching in the dark for anything that might give away where the screams were coming from. But then again, another scream wailed through the night, and as if my feet were carried by some other force, I took off into the woods.
Sticks and thorns dug into the flesh on my feet and they tore at my pant legs, but I continued forward, listening as another high pitched wail came across the wind. With sickening dread I stumbled to a halt against a scream and waited for another sound.
This time when the scream sounded, there was no mistaking it for what it was.
A child's scream.
Looking back over my shoulder I could barely make out the white side of the house through the thick leaves of the trees.
And then, as though the child in distress could sense my hesitation, it screamed again, sounding as though it was in excruciating pain. The wail was long and keening. It was the kind of scream that could mean nothing less than absolute horror was being bestowed upon them.
Turning back, I pushed away from the tree and continued to run through the dark forest. The snapping of twigs underneath me, and tripping clumsily on the thick roots I couldn't see in the darkness.
Blindly running, I listened to the wind as it carried the child's screams to my ear. Getting louder and louder, until I suddenly burst through a thick tangle of underbrush and came into a large clearing. It was about a hundred yards across, both ways. The tall grass swayed lightly in the breeze, and in the dark I could barely see if anything lay on the other side beside more forest.
Most curious, though was how the screams had vanished. Nothing but the whisper of the grass was left to listen to in the total darkness of the moonless night.
Lifting a hand to my hair I grabbed it viciously. Tugging at it as I turned in a circle. Desperate to hear another scream so that I might be able to help whoever it was that was in paint.
Then it occurred to me, that maybe they weren't capable of screaming anymore.
The sickening feeling of dread washed over me and the image of sticky dark blood and cloudy lifeless eyes tortured me from within my own mind.
Just as I turned in another circle I could feel the panic welling up in my gut again. I wanted to scream and cry. I wanted to shout at the heavens and ask God if I was losing my mind.
Sinking down to my knees on the wet ground I leaned my face into my hands and began to cry in earnest. The tears were big and fat, and it got to the point where I was heaving for breath. They were ugly cries. The kind that couldn't be stopped no matter how many consoling words were said. Nothing could fix the aching gap inside of my chest. The one that felt like a knife plunging inside of me every time I took a breath.
The energy that I had on the run through the forest seemed to drain out of me, and I could feel my body sagging closer to the cold, wet ground.
Maybe if I closed my eyes, just for a while.
I hadn't had a proper night's sleep in so long.
Just a few minutes and I'd be awake again. That was just how it worked.
Maybe this was all just a terrible dream and in the morning I would wake up to Renee singing songs from the fifties in the kitchen, burning some eggs and writing down words to a poem she'd had her own dream about.
And as if my thoughts warmed my soul, the frigid feeling of the ground had seemed to melt away. Giving way to a searing warmth that pushed directly through to my heart. It encompassed me, and ebbed away the discomfort of the hole in my chest in a way that made me never want to leave it. If I could stay in this warmth for the rest of eternity, I would have been happy.
The warmth of my dream swaddled me, and I fell deeper under its spell willingly. But before I fell into the oblivion entirely, I could have sworn I'd heard my name being whispered.
xXx
When the alarm next to my bed went off in the morning I jolted awake.
I was in my room.
Not out in a field, freezing half to death. In my room.
However as I looked around I realized some things were different.
For one, Claire was still asleep, though she was alone in the bed underneath the window. The second thing I noticed was that despite the fact it was raining, the window was slightly ajar.
A feeling of dread started to creep over my body as I sat up slowly in the pink sheeted bed that should have been Claire's. My eyes searched wildly around the room, as if something was going to pop out at me from inside the closet. However, nothing happened.
A hand raised to my forehead as I felt for a fever.
Had I opened the window last night? It definitely felt hotter in this room than it should have.
Maybe it had all just been a dream?
Swinging my feet out of the bed I looked down and felt my bones lock into place. Horror swept through my veins like ice.
My feet were covered with mud and dried blood, and large tears in the bottom of my pants from running through the underbrush.
The world felt like it had turned completely onto a different axis as I lurched up from the bed, ignoring the pain on the bottom of my feet, propelling myself out of the room and into the tiny bathroom across the hall. I silently thanked God that Charlie still had the bad habit of leaving the toilet seat up as I fell to my knees and emptied the contents of my stomach into the porcelain bowl.
It was real.
I had run through the forest chasing after that voice. The voice of a screaming child. A child in complete pain.
And then it was darkness. There was nothing beyond that point of laying down in the middle of that field and falling into unconsciousness.
But one thing still stuck in my mind.
There was no way that I had gotten up from that field on my own.
Someone had carried back, and put me to bed.
Someone had been in the house.
xXx
I barely spoke a word as I got Claire ready for school. I didn't even chastise her when she threw a minor tantrum at the idea of going back to the school with the mean people. My mind was still in tangles, and I knew that if I focused in on anything, I was sure to spiral into another panic attack.
Charlie drove me to school again. I left the car without saying goodbye. Barely registering that he'd said he would pick me up after school.
Just like yesterday people stared a whispered, although for a very different reason this time.
Making my way to my locker, I emptied all of the things I wouldn't need inside of it, and then walked to English class. Sitting in a seat, my thoughts still swirled around me. My heart rate accelerated and I searched for any kind of explanation for how I could have possibly gotten back to my room. Not to mention who those screams belonged to last night.
A shiver raced down my spine and when I heard my name said beside my ear, a small scream left my throat as my eyes focused again.
Standing next to me with her brows furrowed was Angela, the girl who'd sat at lunch with the group yesterday.
"Are you alright, Bella?" she asked in a soft voice. I could tell that she wouldn't believe me if I told her that I was.
"Uhh, just thinking about some stuff. Lost in my thoughts, sorry," I responded, clearing my throat when it sounded rougher than anticipated.
"That's alright. You just looked like you were in your own world. Do you mind if I sit with you today?" she asked again, gesturing at the empty seat beside me. Glancing around I realized that there were no other seats available. No one had wanted to sit next to the crazy new girl that punched people. What a surprise.
"Yeah, sure," I said, quickly pulling my books back on my side of the desk. She slid into the seat and adjusted the thin wire glasses on her nose. The class was still buzzing quietly and I glanced at the clock. Class hadn't even started yet. Today was going to be extremely long.
"You know, you broke Lauren's nose yesterday. Apparently she's got two black eyes and the doctor made her wear a neck brace today," Angela spoke suddenly and I rubbed my palm over my face. Maybe getting bitched out was exactly what I needed to take my mind off of what had happened last night.
"Are you going to bitch me out for it?" I muttered into the skin of my hand, my eyes closed. In the heat of the moment yesterday, it had been obvious that Lauren had deserved it, but now today, it didn't settle well in the pit of my stomach. I had never been the kind of girl to start a fight back in Phoenix. Then again, I hadn't been the girl with the dead mother back in Phoenix.
"Absolutely not. Lauren is notorious for being the biggest bitch in Forks," Angela whispered since Mrs. Geoff had walked into the room. But I barely noticed because I was looking at her with confusion.
"I thought you were her friend?" I asked and Angela snorted lightly.
"Oh please. I may tolerate sitting with the girl at lunch, but I would never consider myself her friend. Especially after she fucked Tyler while he and I were seeing each other," Angela spat out the words like they had left a sour taste in her mouth. I could only sit gaping at her.
"Did she really?" I managed to ask finally.
"Oh yeah… Although she never pursued him afterward. She just wanted to get back at me after Mr. Bernie caught her cheating. She thought I'd snitched on her," Angela smirked slightly, looking at me over the tops of her glasses.
"And did you?" I whispered, half listening to Mrs. Geoff start her lecture.
"Do what? Snitch on her?" Angela whispered back. I nodded. "Of course I did… But she'll never know that. Besides, Tyler wasn't that good of a fuck anyway. Too much bravado, not enough interest in the finer details."
I nearly choked on my tongue as I gasped. Coughing a bit, and trying to process the words that had just come out of this seemingly shy girl's mouth.
"Miss Swan, do you need to get a drink of water?" Mrs. Geoff asked from the front of the room, looking at me with slightly narrowed eyes. Holding up my hand I waved her off.
"I'm fine, just a tickle. Sorry," I muttered the apology, my cheeks heating up slightly in embarrassment. Glancing over at Angela I saw that she had a tiny smirk on her face and her eyes glinted from behind her glasses.
"Sorry... Being the town reverend's daughter has left me a bit curious in the ways of sin," she said and I tried extremely hard not to look like my eyes were bugging out of my head. Maybe I actually was sick, and this entire conversation was in my head. "Anyway, I wanted to congratulate you on punching her. I thought it was well deserved. She was totally out of line with the comments on Edward and your mom."
I flinched unconsciously at the mention of my mother, and Angela noticed quickly.
"Sorry," she apologized, a sincere look on her face.
"It's alright… So was all of what Lauren and Jessica said true? About Edward's mom and stuff?" I asked, looking towards the front of the room as Mrs. Geoff kept rambling.
"Pretty much. It all happened really fast. Everything came out about Edward's mom, Elizabeth sleeping with Dr. Cullen back in February. Apparently it had been going on for a couple of months before anyone found out about it. But when everyone did hear about it, Elizabeth Masen was quick to start telling people that she was knocked up with his baby," Angela whispered, but she hesitated suddenly.
"And then what?" I asked, insanely curious.
"Well… In April, Elizabeth Masen was admitted to the hospital for a lot of internal bleeding and head trauma. Everyone guessed that her husband Edward Sr. had beat her up for the cheating. He had always been known for his mean streak and his drinking problem. She ended up losing the baby, and from there everything got sour really fast. As if it wasn't already a shit show. Just a week after she had lost the baby, she'd gone missing. The Quileute council said that someone had reported seeing a woman jump from the cliffs, and she had been white. The body was never found, and so everyone just thinks that Elizabeth jumped to her death up there."
Angela stopped speaking and I couldn't find the words to say. They seemed to be stuck in my throat, like a big ball. After a few moments of processing all of the information, and swallowing down the feeling as though I was about to vomit I whispered to Angela.
"So, what happened to Edward's dad?"
"Apparently he moved back to Chicago. Said he had nothing left for him here, and had his sister come out to take care of Edward until he turned eighteen. Her name is something weird… I can't remember. But she never comes into town, and no one's ever seen her. Most of us just think that Edward lives alone in his family's mansion on the edge of town. I'm not saying he's a freak, but the kid definitely has some issues. He has to be dealing with a lot," Angela said in a sad voice, giving me a calculating look.
I only nodded and avoided the eye contact with her, letting my thoughts swim around in my head. The people in this town were definitely not as sleepy as they had first appeared to be. Their gossip was exactly what I needed and the thoughts of what had transpired last night floated further and further from my mind.
xXx
When lunchtime rolled around again, I noticed quickly that there were no longer any open spots at the table that Jessica sat at. From my place in the lunch line I could see Lauren sitting with her neck brace on and two purple rings around each eye. She was currently glaring, clearly hoping that the floor would open up into a pit leading to hell and swallow me whole.
I merely looked away after acknowledging Angela's sympathetic look. Throughout English she had proven to be a much more solid person than I had anticipated. Considering she could sit with Lauren Mallory for an entire half an hour and not punch her in the face.
Looking around the cafeteria there seemed to be no open seats. Except for at one particular table, with a certain copper haired outcast sitting, hunched over his tray of food.
Taking a deep breath, and hoping for the best I started walking towards the open table. Quickly sliding into a seat one over from Edward. I didn't want to scare him by sitting directly next to him. At the sound of my tray clattering onto the table, Edward looked up, his bright jade colored eyes narrowing as soon as they saw me.
"I thought I told you to stay away from me," he snapped angrily. I shrugged and picked up my apple.
"It would seem that there's nowhere else to sit. Apparently standing up for people in this town is grounds for complete isolation from society," I muttered, taking a large chunk out of the fruit. Edward merely continued to glare. "I thought it might be beneficial to get to know one another. Seems like I'll be sitting here for a while… At least until Princess Lauren's neck brace comes off. Although, it'll probably be longer, let's be honest," I said under my breath, looking over my shoulder at the bitch in question.
"Look, I'm not looking for charity or anything. Just stay away from me if you know what's good for you," he snapped again, and then stood abruptly from the table, whisking away his tray. He stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving me even more perplexed than I had been yesterday.
Watching his retreating back I saw Lauren whispering something to Jessica beside her, a smirk plastered onto her face. Rolling my eyes I faced my lunch again and ate everything as fast as possible. The sooner I could get through this day, the better.
When the bell rang, signaling the end of the lunch period, everyone made their way out of the cafeteria. Since I hadn't been to my last two classes the day before, I checked the school map and found my way to the Biology Lab.
Walking into the room, there was a faint smell of formaldehyde in the air. Posters of cells dividing lined the walls, and even a few taxidermied animals were on the window sill. However none of that interested me, because sitting at the back of the room at one of the lab benches was Mr. Edward Masen.
"Fancy meeting you here," I said out loud, walking towards his bench with a what I hoped was a smile that would set his nerves on edge. His glare was ferocious as he looked up at me from the book he was hunched over.
"Why can't you just leave me alone? Or are you mentally challenged and you don't understand what 'leave me alone' means?" he growled.
"Actually, my test scores are quite high. But I think that this is just fate's way of bringing us together," I replied, plopping myself down in the chair next to him. He looked at me as though I was a venomous insect that needed to be killed immediately.
"You're not sitting here," Edward bit out between his teeth. But as he spoke the class began to fill up with more kids.
"Actually, I am. You see, you're a pretty interesting guy. And since I've punched someone in your defense, I think I'm allowed to sit next to you in class," I replied quietly, taking out my textbooks, "Also, I don't have any other friends."
"We aren't friends," he said the word as if it disgusted him.
"Fine, we aren't friends. But I still punched someone for you, and this class is only for an hour. You can deal with it," I snapped finally.
After that he did not respond and I was content with the fact that he hadn't thrown an even bigger hissy fit trying to get me to leave. However as I sat there, directly next to him, my thoughts began to stir inside of my head.
Thinking about how his mother had died. What she had done before hand. How his father had just left him in the care of his sister. Was that even legal?
The poor kid had every right to be pissed off at the world. I definitely couldn't take it personally. After all, he seemed to be handling things much better than I was. But then again, maybe he wouldn't be so angry if he had someone who understood what he was going through? At least to some degree.
The teacher at the front finally started, and to my surprise he told the class that we would be doing blood typing. My heart rate sped up as the supplies was passed out. The teacher stopped at our desk and asked me who I was.
"Oh, Bella Swan… Sorry, I'm new," I spoke fast, nervous about the task he had given us. He nodded, and signed the sheet I had been given yesterday.
I stared at the blood typing kit, and watched out of the corner of my eye as Edward expertly start to do the prep work.
"Uhm… Do we actually have to do this?" I asked, mostly to myself, but Edward was sharp with his answer.
"Of course," his voice was tense, "Why do you have a problem or something?"
"Uh… I just don't like blood," I muttered, staring at the kit. The scars on the back of my hands seemed to burn angrily at the memory of the glass cutting through my skin. My eyes were trained on the supplies in front of me as if it was going to bite me.
"Here, you have to put on the glove first, then open the sterilized needle. Don't let it touch anything. And make sure you have your slide ready," Edward said in a voice that wasn't as angry as before, although definitely annoyed.
I nodded, though my mind was still in a slight daze, trying to fend off the memories that threatened to break into the forefront of my mind.
Pulling the glove onto my right hand, I picked up the small package with the needle inside of it. It opened easily and the needle glinted in the harsh overhead lights. I could feel my heart pick up speed in my chest as I arranged my slide in front of me. Looking at the flesh of my finger, I hesitated with the needle in my hand.
Determined not to look around the classroom, I focused on the tip of my finger.
It was slightly pink, and I could imagine the blood flowing directly underneath the surface.
The memory of a dark, sticky pool and cloudy lifeless eyes flashed through my mind and I dropped the needle back onto the desk. It made barely any noise, but in a flurry of movement, the chair beside me was pushed back quickly and my body was suddenly being held up before it toppled to the floor.
"Mr. Banner, Bella needs to go to the nurse. She doesn't feel well," Edward's voice was clear and confident. The entire classroom went silent at its sound.
"Yes of course, is she alright?" the teacher's voice was heard from the front of the room.
"She's just light headed," he snapped then lowered his voice, "Come on, Bella. You can lean on me to walk."
I couldn't tell if I had nodded or responded in any way, but I found myself leaning into his weight, and walking from the silent classroom. The hallway was empty as Edward led me down towards the front office. He led me into a room just beyond it, and sat me down on one of the squeaky plastic cots in the office.
As I lay down, I could faintly hear Edward talking to someone else. A hand touched my forehead, and a female voice responded to him, but said nothing else.
After what seemed like hours, my eyes finally opened.
Sitting beside the cot on an uncomfortable looking chair was Edward Cullen, in his khaki pants and white button down shirt. His face was unreadable, but he looked at my face as though he was searching for answers. His jade colored eyes were curious, but subdued in the way to make it look like he wasn't going to pry.
"Sorry about that… I don't usually do that," I rasped, my throat feeling like I hadn't had water in three years. Edward shrugged slightly and handed me a paper cup full of water.
Sitting up more, I took the cup gratefully and sipped it. "Thanks."
Again he said nothing, but nodded slowly. I looked around and found that the nurse was nowhere in sight.
"She went to have the office call your father. You've only been out for about ten minutes. I convinced them not to call the ambulance." he finally said.
"Thank God. It would have been awful, going to the hospital," I muttered quietly. Edward didn't respond and I finished off the water. Now it was awkward. Not only had I punched someone in his defense, but I had fainted and he'd dragged me to the nurse's office.
Looking down at my hands clenched around the paper cup, I sighed. "I found my mom, laying in a pool of blood in her bedroom. She'd killed herself while me and my sister had been at school. I'd come home to grab some extra clothes for Claire, for after her ballet class, you know? And I was going to ask my mom if she wanted to go out to dinner… But she was just laying there. Her eyes were open, and there was just… God there was so much blood. For a second I thought that I was dreaming. But then I screamed, and everything just left my head… I had no idea what to do," my voice was just above a whisper, but I knew that Edward heard every word, "Eventually I called the cops… They came and asked a ton of questions. I can't even remember what I said. And for a while I refused to believe it had happened at all."
There was silence in the room, and it made my palms sweat. Who was I to presume that he wanted to hear all of that? The boy practically hated me. In fact, he probably did hate me, but was too polite to say it.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to dump that on you," I sniffed. My eyes stung with the tears that tried to break loose, "You're the first one I've told about that… Not even the shrink that the cops sent me too got that out of me. Mostly I just threatened to kill him if he asked me anymore questions. Didn't really help my case to convince him that I wasn't going crazy. And now I'm rambling again, sorry," I muttered again, crushing the paper cup in between my palms. This boy probably thought I was a psycho by this point.
However, instead of another snapping comment from him, his hand gently reached out and rested on my thigh.
I looked up at the contact. It wasn't an intimate touch, and from the look on his face, I felt something deep in my chest. His eyes were clear from the annoyance he'd felt earlier. I could see that he knew. He knew exactly what I was feeling. He could see me. For the first time since I had found my mother's body, I felt as though someone could actually see me.
Funny, how it had taken me over 1,500 miles for me to find somebody who understood.
Aww. See Edward isn't that bad! He gets it. And what about that midnight run? Sleepwalking? Or something else? Leave a comment if you'd like too, and thank you so much for reading!