A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Many life things got in the way but here is Chapter 5…
"Why give up before we try?
Feel the lows before the highs?
Clip our wings before we fly away?"
"And then I made sure I signed it 'from your adoring fan'! She totally ate that up…"
Quinn and Tina doubled over in laughter, while Mercedes stared back at Kurt with wide eyes and her hand over her mouth.
"Oh my god Kurt! You are so wrong for that! When Rachel finds out, she's going to kill you!"
Kurt popped another kernel of popcorn into his mouth and scoffed. "Oh please, that girl's ego is way too big to even smell a rat!"
Mercedes shook her head but laughed heartily as Kurt cracked another joke. She was sitting in the attic space between Tina and Quinn. It was a Saturday night and one of their routine sleepovers was in full swing. They'd baked cookies and brownies earlier, marathon watched their favorite movies (Legally Blonde, 13 Going on 30, and Mean Girls) while eating popcorn and crackers and giving each other facials. Right now, they were just sitting around in Quinn's room gossiping and doing each other's hair.
Kurt of course was leading much of the gossip.
"…the bottom line is, Brittany and Santana are so gay," Kurt stated matter-of-factly.
"No way!" Tina replied tossing a mini cushion at Kurt. She missed.
"Uh... Yeah way!" Kurt answered indignantly, mouth full of saltines. He grabbed the small pillow and tossed it back her way. When it hit her square on the head, he smirked satisfied. He then turned his attention toward Quinn. "My gaydar is fool proof! Back me up here Fabray!"
Quinn shook her head, smiling at him in disbelief, but she agreed. "Well Santana would never admit it, but Brittany's let more than a few things slip in the past... I think it's pretty safe to say that Kurt's right Tina."
Kurt let out a small squeal.
"But you didn't hear it from me..." Quinn finished.
Kurt turned back to Tina smugly and smirked while she glared at him.
Tina crossed her arms and shrugged at the group. "Well, I just don't think it's right to assume the orientation of someone's sexuality unless they declare it themselves. That's all I'm saying..."
Kurt rolled his eyes at that. "And I'm saying that Brittany has all but declared it for her! She's gayer than a rainbow Cohen-Chang and that's that!"
Quinn watched amused as Kurt and Tina went back and forth debating the nature of Brittany and Santana's relationship. When she turned to see Mercedes' reaction, she noticed that the girl was staring right back at her. Her stomach fluttered and she bit her lip. Although she enjoyed hanging out with Tina and Kurt, she wanted nothing more than to have the room alone with Mercedes.
The Joneses had gone to visit Mercedes' older brother on campus so they would have had the house to themselves. Even though she knew it was against house rules, it didn't stop Quinn from fantasizing about it.
A girl could dream couldn't she?
After a while, Kurt and Tina's little debate had died down and the foursome had settled into a comfortable lull as they watched A Walk to Remember.
When Mercedes looked into the center of their small semi-circle, she noticed that the popcorn bowl that was sitting beside Quinn was near empty so she reached to get it. Quinn noticed too and grabbed it first, passing it along to Mercedes.
As Mercedes took the bowl from the blonde's hand, their fingers brushed together ever so softly. Mercedes glanced at the others and made sure that they were still engrossed in the film before she brushed her thumb tenderly over Quinn's fingers. Leaning forward as she took the bowl, in a husky whisper she said, "I'll be right back."
Quinn nodded demurely and blew her a discreet kiss before Mercedes rose to her feet. "I'm just gonna get us some more snacks," she announced addressing Tina and Kurt. When they both nodded, she glanced in Quinn's direction one more time before turning and heading down to the kitchen.
Mercedes grabbed a couple packets of juice from the refrigerator and put the bag of popcorn in the microwave. She sat down at the kitchen table as she waited.
After a few minutes had passed and the timer had run out, she opened up the microwave and grabbed the popcorn bag. When she turned back around, she nearly had a heart attack.
Kurt was standing at the table just staring at her.
Mercedes opened her eyes and removed her hand from her heart to smack Kurt on the arm. He knew she didn't like being snuck up on. "You scared me!" she breathed, smiling heartily.
But Kurt ignored her and continued to stare. "Unbelievable..."
Mercedes stared back at him confused. "What do you mean?"
The well coiffed brunette slowly shook his head at her. He closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose before turning his eyes to the heavens. "She asks me what I mean like we don't have twin telepathy... Mercedes you know exactly what I mean!"
Mercedes frowned. "No, Kurt. I don't. I wasn't a mind reader last time I checked..."
Kurt ignored that as well, but got straight to the point. "What's going on between you and Quinn?"
Mercedes' mouth fell open. All of a sudden her throat felt completely dry. "W-what do you mean?"
Kurt rolled his eyes. "Oh I think you know Mercedes. How could you not tell me you two were hooking up? I thought we were best friends!"
Mercedes finally swallowed, but she knew she was caught.
Damn his gaydar!
"We are best friends Kurt! It's just... Quinn wasn't ready to tell anyone yet and I didn't want her to be uncomfortable..."
Kurt folded his arms over his chest and just glared at her for a moment.
"I'm sorry..." she whispered, lowering her eyes and hanging her head.
After one of the longest minutes of her life, he finally sighed. "I guess I understand. I just don't know how you thought you could hide something like this from me. I'm your best friend!"
"I know. I know...I'm sorry!"
"Oh, quit apologizing and come over here," he replied opening his arms wide.
Mercedes readily walked into Kurt's outstretched arms. She buried her face in his neck and replied, "You know I hate keeping things from you..."
"I know...I know..."
They stood like that for a moment, with Kurt holding her and stroking her hair before she finally released him.
"You can't tell anyone, Kurt," she whispered. "She's still not ready..."
Kurt stared back at her. The boy looked slightly offended that she would even suggest that he would do such a thing. "I won't. You know I won't. I'd be the very last to out anybody because personally, I think you and Fabray should come out together on your own time."
Mercedes sighed. "I know…"
"It's just... I wish you two would do it sooner than later. It gets lonely being the only out and proud person at McKinley..." Kurt finished with a sad half smile on his lips.
Mercedes nodded slowly, but something was still troubling her. "How did you know we were hooking up?"
Kurt gave Mercedes a 'bitch please' look.
"Seriously? It was written all over your faces today girlie! Plus you and Quinn are the absolute worst at subtle flirting...I caught each and every single one of your "private" moments in class. You might have slipped a couple of things passed the rest of New Directions, but like I said, my gaydar is on point."
Mercedes smiled at her friend and shook her head. He was something else, but she was happy she didn't have to hide anything from him anymore. It had been killing her. Now that that was all over, she felt as though a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. She wasn't quite sure how Quinn would feel knowing that Kurt knew as well, but she found comfort in the thought that she was beginning to come to terms with this part of her identity.
"We should probably head back up..." she replied gesturing toward the attic. "T and Q are probably wondering what's taking us so long."
Kurt nodded and followed her lead.
She grabbed the juices boxes again and asked Kurt to grab the bowl and bag of popcorn.
As they headed back up the stairs, Kurt grabbed her arm. "Mercedes… I know it's not really my place but I just think that if you're ready to be with Quinn but she isn't ready to be with you, then maybe she doesn't deserve you."
Mercedes' eyebrows knitted together and she prepared to say something in reply before Kurt cut her off. "You shouldn't have to hide who you are..." He pointed at her and smiled warmly. "You told me that…remember?"
Mercedes nodded. "Yes, of course I do. But don't you worry about me Kurt. I know she loves me and I know I love her and I respect her wishes."
"That's great Mercedes, but at the end of the day, I respect yours. And I just think that if she really loves you, she'd do anything she needed to to make you happy… and I can tell that you're unhappy with the way things are now."
Mercedes lowered her eyes. Kurt gave her arm a gentle squeeze before he stepped around her and headed back to Quinn's room leaving her alone with her thoughts.
She really couldn't argue with that. She was so tired of keeping their relationship a secret, but at the same time, she really didn't want to mess up what they had. She made her way back up to the room to enjoy the rest of the sleepover with her closest friends.
But that soon proved to be a difficult task when Mercedes found that throughout the rest of the night, she couldn't for the life of her get Kurt's words out of her head.
It happened as quick as a wink.
One moment Rachel Berry was bargaining with Mr. Schuester for a change of theme for Regionals and the next Quinn was making snide comments about her being a brown noser. All of a sudden, Quinn and Mercedes' 'dirty laundry' had been laid out to air.
Mercedes stared in disbelief as Rachel clapped her hands tightly over her mouth. But the damage had already been done.
"W-wait... I didn't mean to say that!" she apologized, her eyes wide and pleading.
Quinn stared back at Rachel with her hazel eyes just as wide. The remaining members of the glee club stared back at the three of them with a variety of expressions.
"Where did you hear that?" Quinn screeched, glancing in Mercedes' direction with a hurt look in her eyes."
"N-no where... I… I meant…"
"Then why would you even say that?" Quinn demanded, her tone dangerously shrill.
"B-because the other day I was in the library and I saw... Well the two of you... You know..." The short brunette tried gesturing with her fingers the words she couldn't bring herself to speak.
Quinn's eyes grew even wider in horror as she realized that Rachel had been there. Watching them. Probably planning many different ways to ruin her life again. It wouldn't be the first time, or even the second, that she exploited Quinn's private issues for her own gain.
The pregnant blonde's body catapulted toward Rachel's. "You shut your mouth you little freak! You have no idea what you're talking about!"
Rachel shook her head as tears began to fill her eyes. She looked so afraid, but clearly she was determined not to back down. "Quinn, I know what I saw...you were in there with Mercedes."
Tears started to fill Quinn's eyes and her vision blurred. Her worse nightmares were coming true all at once. Suddenly everything slowed down and was moving in slow motion and she stared in horror at all of the faces of the glee club members.
Santana and Finn stared back at her in complete disbelief. Brittany, Mike and Matt looked really confused. Tina and Artie looked sympathetically at her, while Kurt just stared at Mercedes. Puck looked hurt and Mercedes…Mercedes looked a mixture of those emotions and more.
For the first time in a long time, Quinn didn't know what the other girl was feeling. It was difficult to read her expression.
She glanced back at the tiny brunette who was still staring at her with her big, beady eyes. Quinn watched as Rachel took a step toward her. "I-it's okay Quinn... There's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm totally not judging you two, I swear! B-both my dads are gay so I understa-"
Quinn couldn't believe her ears.
Rachel Berry was standing there in front of the entire club acting like she knew how Quinn should run her life!
How dare she?
It was just like her to be the one to out her! She was always sabotaging her life in some way. Quinn stared back at the girl, feeling the anger slowly building up within her. A rush of adrenaline was coursing through her veins, slick and hot like electricity.
When Rachel opened up her arms to embrace Quinn, she lost it!
"NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND RACHEL! UNTIL YOU'VE LIVED MY LIFE AND DEALT WITH MY DEMONS, YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND!"
And with that Quinn stormed out of the choir room.
She felt Mercedes on her heels soon after as she ran toward the exit of the building. Without turning around, she addressed the other girl.
"Please leave me alone Mercedes!"
"Quinn… please, just wait..." she huffed.
"Wait for what? Rachel Berry to tell me how to live my life?"
"She was only trying to help..."
Quinn stopped moving and spun around. "Wait, you're siding with her? You're choosing that thing over me?"
Mercedes shook her head. "I'm not choosing anything over you...I've always been on your side Q, but m-maybe it's a good thing she told... Maybe now we don't have to hide that we're together," she finished hopefully, taking Quinn's hand with a small smile.
But Quinn's body was still reeling from the adrenaline rush and the angry words left her mouth before she could stop herself.
"God Mercedes! We're not together!" she yelled in frustration. Immediately, once she realized once she said, Quinn regretted her words. When she saw the look on Mercedes' face her heart shattered. The other girl stared back at her in disbelief before her face just crumpled.
Quinn closed her eyes and cringed and rubbing her temples with the pads of her fingers. "Wait, Mercedes…I didn't mean to say that..." she began.
But it was too late.
The damage had already been done.
Quinn watched as the other girl ran off in the other direction without another word.
"Mercedes!" she called after her, but the girl never looked back.
Quinn wasn't surprised when it happened. Some nosy student had taken wind of the glee club 'scandal' and suddenly the entire school knew some detail of what Rachel saw in that back room. Eventually, her parents were also a part of that mix as well.
Everything that she'd been so afraid of before had finally come to fruition. Everyone was now looking at her the same way they did when they first found out that she was pregnant. Some sympathetic, others disgusted, but all judgmental to some degree.
However, this time it felt different.
Quinn felt completely numb.
She hadn't only disappointed her parents and herself, but she'd disappointed Mercedes, the most important person in her life. The one whom she felt quite certain was the love of her life.
Mercedes was no longer speaking to her, but Quinn knew couldn't blame her. She was such an idiot for what she said and she knew could not take any of it back.
Her parents came by the Jones residence that weekend to help move her out. They were convinced that that family had been the ones to corrupt their daughter further with the 'gay disease'.
Her parents kept looking to her for answers about her sexuality, her unborn child and her state of mind but Quinn had nothing to say. Soon enough, their criticism followed like she knew they would.
Why couldn't she be more like Frannie?
How could she taint their good family name?
Wasn't the child out of wed-lock enough?
Quinn kept quiet the entire time, taking it all like she always did. None of it meant anything to her because nothing mattered anymore. She'd disappointed the one person she'd been so afraid of failing and she had no idea how to fix any of it.
She lay that night in her bed staring up at the ceiling as tears rolled down her pale cheeks. She could hear her parents in the other room arguing. They'd been going at it for almost an hour now. Her father was doing what he always did so well; cutting his wife down with his words. He ridiculed her for not raising Quinn right and blamed her for every embarrassing thing they had experienced the last couple of months.
Quinn stuck her ear buds in her ears when she heard her mother start to cry. She couldn't take anymore misery for the night. She soon realized what a mistake that had been when Christina Aguilera's Beautiful started to play.
That was the very last straw and Quinn finally let the floodgates open. The tears came hard and fast and she couldn't wipe her eyes fast enough to get rid of the moisture.
Everything was so messed up now and once again, it was all her fault. She coiled herself up into a ball and rubbed her stomach. Her baby girl was not helping to make the situation any easier on her. She would not stop kicking. Baby Fabray just knew that something was wrong.
"Shhhh..." Quinn whispered to the fetus in her womb. "Everything's going to be okay, sweetheart... Don't be afraid."
She hummed a soft tune to her unborn child like her mother used to do to her when she was afraid and after a moment, it seemed to calm her down.
Quinn rested her hand on her stomach and squeezed her eyes tightly shut. She was less convinced that those words were for her baby. Quinn wished with her entire being that that voice of reassurance was for her. But alas it was not.
A/N: Please remember that this chapter is called lows before the highs, so things will look up! I believe in love and happiness. Also, just so you know, there are probably about 2 or 3 chapters left in this story but not to fear, I have other Quinncedes tales in mind so there will definitely be more from me about this pairing. As always please let me know what you thought and thank you so much for reading!