Okay, we bring Piotr and Warren in this chapter. Basic information: they, along with Bobby and John are off to find a Christmas tree. Piotr's not so quiet this time around but he's not loud and obnoxious like John is. Warren's kind of a snob and he and Johnny DO NOT get along well. It's most likely because Warren's kinda buddy-buddy with Rogue and John's a total ass. Oh, and one more thing, Warren is gonna say something pretty nasty about gay people. He doesn't mean it, he's just trying to piss John off and it does not reflect my views on gay people in any way. One of my best friends is gay. So, once again, the comment is just to piss off John.
-xAmerican angelx
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Warren was standing in the garage, tapping his foot impatiently while Bobby and Piotr (well mostly Piotr) were loading the rest of the tree-chopping equipment into the car.
Warren sighed agitatedly, "What is taking that kid so long?" Warren's question was directed at Bobby, but clearly indicated his anger at John.
"He has to find sweatshirts," Bobby shrugged. He was used to John taking forever to get ready during the winter, everybody was. Warren had come to the mansion only a short time ago and it was his first winter here. He could not have been prepared for the agonizing wait that was John's prep for outdoor winter activities, "Oh, and don't call him 'that kid'. Johnny finds those kinds of things insulting. And, ask anyone, the last thing you want to do is be the one that insulted Johnny."
"Yeah, you may not live to tell the tale," Piotr added.
Warren rolled his eyes, "Whatever. But if he's not out here in five minutes we're leaving without him."
Bobby sighed. He liked Warren, but he could be a bit of a snob sometimes, especially when things weren't going exactly how he planned them. And John taking forty-five minutes to get ready to chop down a tree was definitely not how he planned it, "We can't leave without him."
"Why not? All he's going to do is whine and complain."
"Kind of like what you are doing now?"
"Stuff it Piotr!"
"To my point…" Bobby continued, "We can't leave him here alone. Marie's on a warpath. Apparently she converted all of her feeling bad for almost killing me into pure anger at John for pissing her off to that point."
"Well, it was his fault," Warren scoffed, "Marie's a sweet girl. He has no reason to provoke her the way he does."
"Oh yeah, she's a regular angel," Bobby said sarcastically, "No pun intended. But I heard from Kitty that Marie still has my abilities and she probably intends to freeze John in a ten foot thick block of ice if she can catch him," Bobby could detect an unwanted level of worry in his own voice.
"She won't be able to catch him," Piotr told him, apparently sensing it as well, "I can't count how many times that John's pissed me of to the point of murder and I could never catch him."
Bobby smirked, "I bet he never pointed out that you couldn't get laid though, right?"
"So that's what he said," Piotr looked as if the understanding had hit him like a tidal wave, "Yeah, I'd want kill him too."
"Not really helping."
"Not really trying to."
"Oh thanks, Tin-man."
"Hey! It's Steel-man to you, Frosty."
Bobby was about to open his mouth to continue his banter with Piotr when Warren suddenly burst out laughing. The winged mutant was inches from the floor, doubled over in a fit of hysterics.
"Warren?" Bobby asked, focused on him and not the direction that he had been looking, "What's so funny."
Warren could barely choke out a word.
"Seriously, Warren," Piotr had walked over now, "What is it?"
Warren managed to gasp out what could have been a fragment of a sentence.
"He- looks- penguin!" that was all they could get out of him.
"Did he say 'penguin'?" Bobby asked Piotr.
Piotr looked as confused as Bobby, but then, like Warren had done before, Piotr started laughing like a maniac until he was on the ground.
Bobby finally had the sense to look where his currently incapacitated friends had been staring. Then he saw it, or him, rather and crashed to the floor with the other two, laughing.
The large mass of gray and blue waddled over, "Yeah, that's right, get all the laughs out."
John had to have had ten sweatshirts on. He had at least doubled, possibly tripled in size around the middle and his now very disproportionate head was perched on top of the almost spherical mass of clothes.
"Oh, god John," Warren said wiping a tear out of his eye, "You just made my whole day!"
"Watch it feather-boy or I'll treat everyone in this mansion to roast bird for dinner!"
"Oh, I'm terrified!" Warren gasped in fake horror, "Save me Piotr! He might roll on me!"
"You know," Bobby said, feeling the need to put his two sense into the situation, "I was always under the impression that angels and saints were supposed to get along."
"They're also supposed to go to heaven," Warren said, "How's that whole gay thing going, John?"
That earned Warren the dirtiest look John could muster while looking like a penguin. Bobby knew that Warren had absolutely no problem with gay people and that he just liked to push John's buttons. He wasn't so sure if John knew that though. And that could be a serious issue. Bobby thought John was really going to roast Warren and bit his lip in anticipation.
John's dirty look, however, to everyone's surprise, vanished and he smiled, "Fine, thanks. How's it going for you?"
Warren's eyes narrowed in what could only be described as pure enmity, "That's not funny, John. You know I'm not gay."
"Oh sure, you say that now," John said calmly and in a tone Bobby knew all to well. John attacked one of two ways. He would either charge at you with a wall of fire or mess with you psychologically. He was damn good at both, and Bobby could tell that he had just set Warren up perfectly to mess with his head, "But out of the two of us, which one of us has Gaydar? Oh yeah, it's me."
"Oh please," Warren tried to appear as though he though this was all stupid, but a slight look of worry in his eyes betrayed all of that.
"Hey, I just call 'em as I see 'em. Who was it that pegged Mr. Straight-and-Narrow, over there," he jabbed his thumb at Bobby, who blushed slightly, "as gay? Oh that's right, it was me. Again. Wow. John two, you zero. I'd be nervous if I were you, Fairy… oh excuse me, Angel."
And with that, John waddled off, opened the door to the car and slid in. Bobby was impressed. Piotr was on the verge or tears from trying to contain his laughter. And Warren? Warren had looked better.
"Let's just get the damn tree," he muttered and stalked off to the car.
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"This one?" Piotr asked pointing at a tree that was at least ten feet high.
"NO!" The other three said in unison.
"Pete, come on!" Bobby said, "You can't be serious! We could never get that thing through the mansion doors let alone the car."
"And it would cost like ten thousand dollars in ornaments to decorate even half that thing!" John put in.
"Let's try again, Pete," Warren said, rubbing his temples.
"This is what I get for tryin' to help," Piotr said and stalked off, looking for another, smaller tree.
"Here, let's just take this one," John said, pointing to a tree that wasn't even as tall as him.
"It's a little small don't ya think?" Bobby asked.
"Yeah, come on, Charlie Brown, that tree is pathetic," Warren added.
"No body asked for your input, you little- uh- bird-thing. God, what is that thing's name? You know what I'm talkin' about right? The bird that hangs around with the dog? The one that no one knows its name?"
"Woodstock?" Bobby suggested.
"Yeah, him! But out, Woodstock!"
Warren rolled his eyes, "I'm going to go see if I can find Pete and help him hunt down a decent tree," Warren stretched out his wings to their full span and soared off into the sky with impressive speed.
"Showoff," John muttered angrily.
"Aww…" Bobby said, putting his arm around his boyfriend, "Don't let him get to you. You're cuter than he is anyway."
John smiled and pulled out his lighter, "Yeah, I am aren't I? Annnnnnd… Bird-brain is great for target practice." John put a glowing orb of fire in his hand.
"Don't you dare," Bobby said, pulling on John's arm to stop him from releasing the fireball.
"Piotr would have let me," John grumbled.
"Then go date him."
"Maybe I will."
"Maybe you should."
"Maybe I have."
"Really?"
"No."
"Thank God."
"Don't get nervous, he's got nothin' on you anyway," John said, grabbing his boyfriend's wrist and pulling him into a deep kiss. Given his added wait due to sweatshirts, John was able push the larger mutant down onto the snowy ground, his lips still attached firmly to Bobby's. Bobby wrapped his arms around John even tighter than before (if that were even possible) and deepened the intensity of the kiss.
"I love you," Bobby breathed.
"I have that effect on people."
A voice was heard from above, "Hey! Get a cave would you! People are flyin' up here!"
"Oh, go crash into a window!" Bobby yelled to Warren, who was circling in the sky above them.
"Aw, be nice Bobby," John muttered to him, but he yelled the next part into the sky, "You know he's just enjoying the view!"
Bobby would swear on his life that he saw Warren shiver in disgust before flying off again.
"Now," he turned to John, "Where were we?"
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"How goes the tree search Pete?" Warren asked, landing next to his roommate.
"Found the perfect one," Piotr said, pointing to a tree that was roughly eight feet tall and had at least ninety-five percent of the pine needles still on it.
"Looks good to me," Warren said, "Now just chop it down or rip it out of the ground or whatever it is you do so we can get home and away from those horny little freaks, John especially."
"Why are you such an ass to him all the time?"
"He starts it!"
"No, he doesn't."
"Shut up, yes he does!"
Piotr merely shrugged, "Whatever, hand me that chainsaw, would ya?"
Warren handed him the dangerous tool, "Where are you gonna plug it in?"
"Oh, into that tree over there- IT'S BATTERY POWERED, STUPID!"
"No need to get testy."
Piotr sighed and began his task.
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"Why are they taking so long?" Bobby asked to no one in particular.
John however answered, "It's only been like twenty minutes, relax."
"I'm gonna go look for them," Bobby said and began walking in the direction that Warren had flown.
John ran and grabbed his arm, "No."
"Why not?"
"Because as soon as you walk away, they're gonna show up and we're gonna have to wait for you. And while we're waiting Pete'll get nervous and walk off to go and find you and then you'll come back and the whole thing will just repeat itself. It's a cruel cycle."
"They won't show up as soon as I leave, now let go."
John complied. Bobby had barely walked ten feet when they heard Piotr's voice.
"Bobby? John? We have a found a perfect tree!"
John smirked at his boyfriend's shocked face.
"Ha. I kick so much ass."