I woke up early, the first thing I saw was Lulu sitting alone out in the open.

"Lulu, aren't you afraid of someone seeing you?"

"No, the guards sounded like they were having some trouble in Bevelle."

"Oh." I didn't really know what to say. Lulu was always good to me, even when she tried not to show it. But now, even though she didn't know it, she had everything that I wanted. 'How am I supposed to act like its okay?' I thought. I wished this was the type of thing that I could tell Auron about, he always helped me find what I needed to know…but…after my night with Yuna; I couldn't be telling anyone anything.

"Tidus!"

"Huh?"

"Are you alright? You've seemed kind of… down maybe… is something bothering you?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Really?"

"Time to get up," Auron said as he climbed out of his tent. It was always an order with Auron. He took charge and left us all with no room to argue; I remember wondering why he pushed us so hard to meet the end. But then, he knew all the secrets.

We made our way through the outskirts of Makalenia woods until finally we arrived at a vast green field. The earth was cracked with big fissures and the miles and miles of flat grassland were cradled in mountains.

"These are the Calm Lands," Lulu said. "The road stops here. After this point there are no cities and no villages, just open plains. Many Summoners loose their way in these plains."
Yuna lied down in the grass. She looked up at the sky and spread her legs out as if she were floating on water.

"I've always known where to go, somehow." She seemed so sad. I couldn't just let her sacrifice herself like that's what she was born for, it was wrong.

"Yuna, I wont let you die. I promise I'll find another way," I said offering my hand and helping her to her feet. I told Yuna I wouldn't let her die, hoping that somehow words would make it real. We spent days walking down the slope from Makalenia and everyone was so somber. I guess it was because the closer we came to Zanarkand; the closer we came to loosing Yuna. We ran into that old man, Maechen, the scholar.

"Would you like to hear about the calm Lands?" He asked, when I nodded yes he continued. "As you already know this was a battle ground. A great battle between Bevelle and Zanarkand, a Melee of Machina, that war left this land barren and withered. And then, time passed. The Summoners noted this uninhabitable land, great battled could be waged here without harm to common folks. When the Summoners battled Sin they came here. I can't imagine how they felt on this plain, about to rid Spira of Sin and bring the Calm. That is why it is called the Calm Lands, though it is unknown who first coined it. Oh, there's one more thing. There is a scar left on the land from the high summoned Gandolf's final summoning 400 years past. It leads into a deep fissure… And that as they say is that." That old man new more about Spira than Yevon himself, or even Auron. I always wondered how he managed to know everything about everywhere, but I never figured it out.

"Looks like dere's an inn over dere ya?" Wakka said with a smile, I wasn't in the mood to see him smile.

"It looks Al Bhed; you think you can handle that Wakka?"

"Tidus!" Lulu shouted. Wakka didn't say anything, he just hung his head low and kept walking, and I guess he just can't handle the Al Bhed. When we got to the inn an old Yevon monk ran up and spoke to Lulu. It looked like they'd known one another awhile. I heard the words traitor and Yevon, and that was all I needed to know. I was sick of Yevon, its laws, its followers, the hold it had over Spira. No wonder Zanarkand and Bevelle were at war, the people from Bevelle were crazy. I went inside and found a room for myself.

I don't know how long I had to relax, but I found myself roused at the sound of knocking.

"Oh Tidy, open up! Come on, Open Up!" Rikku shouted cheerfully.

"Okay, Okay just a second." I got up and unlocked the door. Once she came in she locked it again behind her.

"Okay Spill!"

"What?"

"What happened with Yunnie?"

"Oh… I um… I thought this was about—"

"Wakkie? You can tell me about that too, you know?" She sat down on the bed and pulled me over next to her.

"Well… you promise not to get mad?" I said trying to smile. I could feel my face getting hot even thinking what I was going to tell her.

"Promise."

"I'm in love… or I was…"

"With Yunnie? …Wait what do you mean 'was'?"

"Well you see…" I told her all about Wakka, and why I was so cold to him. She seemed to understand better than I had expected. But then I told her about that night with Yuna, and she seemed uncharacteristically grim.

"You… slept with Yunnie?"

"Yeah."

"But you don't love her?"

"…"

"That's bad! She's really crazy about you, you know?"

"I know."

"Then why did you do it?"

"I don't know…" I told her about Yuna's sadness, and how I'd wanted to make it all go away. I told her how lonely it was, that I'd wanted to feel loved by someone and I could never go home. And I told her how happy Lulu looked after Wakka left me. How he wanted to 'just start over' and 'forget it'. I started crying, but she didn't mind. Rikku's a good listener, and in the end I think she really understood.

"Don't worry Tidy; it'll be okay… somehow. We'll figure out a way to save Yunnie, then you and Lulu will have forever and a day to fight over Wakka, and we can all work things out and be happy, you know?" She said holding my hand gently.

"Yeah, thanks Rikku." Her optimism seemed as silly and hopeless as my won, just grabbing for anything to make it alright. There was something about the way she said it though, 'we would all be happy' she made me wish for it more than anything in the world.

"Tidy, you shouldn't hate Wakka, you know?"

"What happened to Wakkie?"

"That bit Meany doesn't get a nickname when I'm mad at him!" The face she made was so cute, it was her attempt at looking strict or angry, but it wasn't very convincing. "Yay! Tidy, I haven't seen you really smile in a while. I was getting worried, you know?"

"Yeah."

"But… you really should try and work things out with Wakka, at least be friends. It's not his fault he still hasn't gotten all that Yevon out of his brain, it'll take time, you know? But you and Wakkie were always so happy together… at least as friends."

"Yeah, maybe you're right." I gave Rikku a big hug, it was nice to hold someone so soft and gentle, but totally hyperactive, her heart was beating a million miles a second, just like you'd expect from her.

"Okay… I'll go talk to Wakka."

"Heh, he's in the 3rd room to the right."

"Thanks."

I went down the hall to Wakka's room. I knocked on the door lightly, but no one answered, so I tried the door knob. It was unlocked.

My mouth went dry when I saw what was behind that door. My heart twisted into my stomach. Deep throated moans filled the hall, and I went completely stiff as I saw them. The bed was a mess, the sheets all thrown to the floor, the bed creaking wickedly under their bodies.

"Wakka…" I whispered. I couldn't help it. He was sprawled out on the bed, all his muscled tense and flush with heat, he was drenched in sweat, and his brows knit in an effort to hold back. Lulu was riding him roughly, her braids of hair spilling over to their sides, her hands pressed firmly on his chest and her breasts bouncing with every thrust of her hips. His hand was on her thigh, steadying her, while the other was digging into the sheets. I couldn't help gawking, the heart ache was dizzying, but even more than that, they were hot. Wakka stretched out, totally relaxed, unlike when he was with me. And Lulu just rode him without any restraint. She had this big gorgeous smile on her face and this look of concentration, there was more passion in Lulu than she would let us see. I backed away, I didn't want to see anymore, I bumped into the doorway and that's when Wakka's eyes caught me. He just stared into my eyes, biting his lip and fighting a shutter of pleasure down. I don't know how he could just look at me while he was with someone else, but it made me feel sick, maybe I saw a look of sympathy in his eyes as I backed away, but maybe I didn't. I closed the door, finally breaking eye-contact with him. I felt dizzy leaning on the door for support, I could hear their cries, I had to get out of there. I walked down the hall and didn't notice Auron or Kimahri, at first.

"You look pale, are you alright?" Auron asked, his tone still as stern as ever.

"Y…yeah ! I'm fine!" I said way too enthusiastically, I was starting to sound like Yuna. Auron just grunted and looked me over pointedly.

"What? Hey, where's Yuna?"

"Yuna tired, Yuna rest." Kimahri said giving me a look.

"Don't you go wearing our summoner out every day now." Auron said in a serious tone, I couldn't believe what he was saying.

"I—uh …wha'do you… I need some rest okay? I'm really tired." I said weakly. They just looked at me, Kimahri had a small curve in the corner of his lips. Auron had an outright smirk now. "Okay… I'm, uh… going to bed." I ran back to the room as fast as I could. Rikku was sprawled out on the bed with her eyes closed. I was glad I wouldn't have to talk about it for awhile.

"How'd it go Tidy? You and Wakkie buddies again?" She kept her eyes closed, but stretched out against the bed.

"Well… I… they were… He was buisy."

"Buisy doing what?"

"Lulu."

"Oh!" Her eyes went wide open when it hit her, what I meant. "Oh no! Tidy are you okay? You saw them?"

I nodded yes, and the look on her face saddened. She was always so sympathetic.

"Oh Tidy! Come here, I wasn't expecting anything like that, you know?" She pat in front of her in the bed, and when I sat down she pulled my head to her chest and just held me. It was nice. The way she ran her fingers through my hair, it reminded me of Wakka. I just couldn't stop crying that day. I had to just let it all out so that I could move on. Rikku spent the night with me, she just curled up by my side and laid her cheek down on my chest. It was comfortable. I drifted into a sort of half sleep, and I dreamt that Wakka came in the middle of the night. He sat down in a chair across from the bed and just looked at me.

"Wakka… what are you doing here?" I grumbled, too relaxed to get up or really worry.

"You sure do break alotta hearts, ya?"

"Don know what'choo talkn' about."

"Me, then Yuna and now Riku? Who else? You kind of a slut ya?" He sounded angrier than I had ever heard him, and something else.

"I didn't break anybody's heart. You left me. It was a mistake, I thought it would be good with you but you just left me. You're the heart breaker here. You don't even care…now I don't even have a person to rely on in all of Spira… like a friend… or anything…it was a mistake." I dreampt that I said all of the things I wanted to say to him. "I wanted you to love me too, but it didn't work. And now you're with Lulu… you better love her."

"And what about you, ya? Two cousins in a row? You love dem too?"

"Two? I slept with Yuna, it was… nice but she kind of talked me into it. How could I say no to her? She's willing to sacrifice herself for all of us, so I decided to be with her, I know she loves me. A lot…"

"What about Rikku?"

"We didn't do anything, she's taking care of me. Maybe I do have a real friend here."

"You irresponsible, what if Yuna—"

"What do you care Wakka? It's none of you're business who I sleep with. Or who I love. So you can just go to hell with your Yevon and your concern. You left me, and that's the end of it. I don't care anymore. We can have it your way. It never happened, I don't like you, so get out and don't bother me anymore." I snuggled up against Rikku and closed my eyes. I dreamt that he left without another word. And when I awoke it occurred to me that it might not have been a dream, the chair wasn't were we'd left it.