Chapter 12

Saturday came with a strong dose of reality. When I woke up after my whole three hours of sleep, I was feeling very light headed. It could have been from the fact that I've only had a couple bowls of chicken broth and some crackers in the two weeks since I last saw Matthew. I walked to the door of Sarah's dorm to head down the hall to the bathroom. That's the last thing I remember.

I came too with Sarah over me, wiping my forehead with a wet washcloth. "Ella, this is it. I don't care what you say. You lost your job, you're going to lose your apartment, and now you are heading to losing your life and I won't stand for it. You are going to the clinic if I have to drag you by her feet."

Sarah's concern was something that I never had before. The sad concern evident in her eyes was too strong to ignore. My voice was barely a whisper, but Sarah knew I had finally acquiesced. It took a while for me to gain enough strength to walk even with the support of Sarah's arms. An hour later we were walking into the university clinic.

Sarah helped me sit in a chair and walked to the front desk. I couldn't hear what she told the nurse, but she came back with Sarah with that same damn concerned look. I thought "What have you never seen someone dying of a broken heart?" I screwed up the best thing that ever happened to me, probably the only good thing that would ever happen to me. The woman with Sarah sat down next to me in the open chair. "Hi sweetie, I'm Joan. I'm a nurse here is it ok if I check your pulse?" I could only blink at here all the energy gone from walking in. "Well, that could be a lot better, I think." Noticing the look on my face she quickly added, "But nothing to worry about dear, nothing we can't fix. I'm going to get you a wheelchair so you don't have to waste your energy walking, Then I will take you to a nice bed where you can lay down, ok?" I gave her a slight nob.

Within a minute or so a guy in light blue scrubs, came towards me with a wheelchair. "Thanks Dave. Ella, this is one of our volunteers Dave. He's going to help us get you to exam room 5." Dave nodded at her. "Do you need help getting in the chair?" Sarah took one of my arms and Nurse Joan took the other and assisted me into the chair. Dave pushed me to the exam room, though it wasn't really a room, it was a bed with a big curtain around it. "Ok sweetie, I'm going to help you up, then I want you to sit on the bed right here." She patted a spot on the bed. After I managed to stand up and sit again, "Good job. I know it's not easy when you are so tired. I'm going to help you swing your legs onto the bed, and lie you down nice and gently."

When I finally was in position on the bed, I felt a lot of relief to just be able to lay back now. Nurse Joan walked me through all the things she did. She called them getting my vitals. Sarah was there with me the whole time. "So Sarah tells me, you haven't really been eating and what you have been you barely keep down. I'm going to have a doctor come in shortly to give you an exam. There is nothing to worry or be scared about I'm going to make sure you are taken care of and Sarah can stay with you the whole time." She gave me a tight grin and patted my arm, "I'm going to get the doctor and be right back."

Sarah must have told her about my fears of hospitals. She is nothing like the Nurse Ratched George would talk about. A few minutes later Nurse Joan returns with a very young looking woman. "Hello Ella, I'm Dr. Roth, I'm an intern but I'm very good at what I do. Joan told me that you don't like hospitals very much, but I don't want to worry you'll walk out of here once I get you all healthy."

"Joan, can you please start an IV? We are going to put a little needle in your hand to take a little bit of your blood, Ella, to run some tests. It won't hurt; Joan has the gentlest touch. Then we are going use that needle to get medicine in you to get you back to feeling good. Just rest and we'll take care of everything." The Doctor turned to Sarah and started asking her questions.

"So how long has she been feeling sick and not eating?"

"It's been about two weeks. She's been eating a little chicken broth and nothing much. Anything she eats doesn't stay down long. When I woke up this morning, she was on the floor by the door. She must have passed out. That was the first time that I'm aware of her passing out like that." After that I started to drift off to sleep.

Two nurse walked down the hall of the student clinic headed to cover the reception desk. "Did you hear the news about Dr. Christiansen?"

"Yes, That's so noble of him. I don't think I could go to a third world country and live like that for even a day."

"Well Mary, you aren't a saint like him. He's doing it for all those people that are dying over there."

"Doctors with Out Border, is such a great cause. They really need the help in Africa with that AIDS Virus. So many people are dying. They are getting one fine doctor. I hope the people know how lucky they are."

"Yeah, to see that gorgeous face every day... that is lucky." Both girls laughed.

I open my eyes, and see the smiling Nurse Joan again. "Well hello again. You are looking much better. You were very dehydrated." I look around and I'm very confused, this is not where I was when I went to sleep. "Sarah went to the cafeteria to grab a bit to eat, she should be back soon. How are you feeling dear?"

"Ok, I use. Better than I was I guess. But confused… where am I?"

"We had to move you to a room. You were asleep for a whole day now." I was asleep for a day? That doesn't seem possible. I haven't slept more than a few hours since Matthew… I don't want to think about it. "All your vitals are stronger; if they continue to improve the doctor might let you out of here tomorrow." I returned her smile, "I'm going to tell the doctor you are awake and she can give you another once over."

Nurse Joan leaves the room and the room goes silent. I hate silence. A minute later there is a knock on my door and the door slowing opens. It's the copper hair I see first… Matthew. "Hey Els." He strolled over to the side of my bed and sat down in the chair next to me. "I'm so sorry you were sick and I wasn't there for you. If I'd known I would have been there." I can see the hard shallow he takes. "The thing is… I have a lot of people that judge me and my every move because I'm so young and accomplished so much. I've only ever date two other girls, and whenever I did go out I have always done it very very discretely. Something like dating an underage girl could destroy everything that I've worked for. No matter how much I love you, the fact that you are seventeen… " He looks down at his hands that he is wringing. "Ella, you have to understand, I'm looking at my future. I can see you there, I can. But I need to see you there when you are older. This is so hard for me Ella. I want to be with you so much it hurts, that is why I have to leave. I don't think I can stay away from you. If I had known you were sick, I would have been by your side and that would get people talking. I'm going to get away for a while and give you a chance to get older."

"Matthew!" The snobs I can't control take over. "I can pretend to be older, I've gotten away with it before. I need you Matthew. I can't live without you."

"Oh baby, I know you are older than you are, but your birth certificate doesn't lie. It's not forever Ella, I'll come back for you." He reaches into his back pocket and pulls something out, "I want you to be taken care of while I'm away. You will need to work still, but this will help you stay on your feet." He hands me the thick envelope.

"Please don't leave me, PLEASE! I love you." I cry reaching out for him to hold me. He moves to the side of the bed to take me into his embrace.

"I know baby. I love you too. But I have to go." He starts to rock lightly kissing the top of my head.

"When?"

"Tonight. I was going to come see you yesterday, but I found out you were here. I had to wait for you to wake up. I needed to see those beautiful grey eyes on more time."

"Can't you wait? Please!?" My tears are soaking his shirt but he doesn't seem to care.

"It's only a year before you are eighteen. Time will fly back and I'll be back to get you by next Christmas. It's only 14 months." He pushes out of the hug, "I have to go, baby." He stands and walks toward the door. "Oh Ella, please keep us a secret around here. Even though I'm leaving people will still talk."

"Yes, Matthew. I won't tell anyone." I chock out through my tears.

"I know you trust Sarah, please tell her to kept the secret, for you. I don't want people coming after you. I love you."

"I love you too Matthew," With a little wave and sad grin, we parted ways hoping 14 months would fly by.