A/N: An end of the episode tag for 2x05.
Felicity's heels clicked softly on the metal stairs. She was getting better at being quieter, but the guys were always going to have an advantage over her. She'd been halfway home when she'd remembered the tablet she needed for work the next morning was still in the lair, and backtracking then versus losing an extra half an hour of sleep in the morning won out.
She'd heard Oliver's low tones when she'd opened the door and was turning the first landing when she could see them. Both of them turned as she approached and the two glasses and bottle of vodka between them as well as the stony expression on Digg's face let her know she'd interrupted something.
She gave them a sheepish smile and held her hands up in front of her as she headed for her desk, "Don't mind me. Just forgot...this" she said, sweeping the tablet up with a quick grab. Eyes flicked over the scans she'd left running. One made her quirk her eyebrow and she shoved the tablet under her arm as she tapped out a few quick commands. Which led to her leaning over to reach the far keyboard when she noticed an upgrade alert had popped up on their security system.
It wasn't until a shadow fell over her and Oliver cleared his throat only inches from her side that she slowly looked up. "Oops." she said with small grin, "I got...a little carried away there. Sorry. I'll um...I'll let you boys get back to your bonding time."
She hadn't meant for her words to sound jealous or hurt. In fact until she'd said them she hadn't even had the thought but as she heard herself she realized she was a bit upset.
Her eyes scanned the room and she saw the open crate. The one he'd brought back with him. The one she and Diggle never touched.
She'd obviously walked in on something important and the pang that cut through her let her know it hurt he'd waited until she'd left.
Digg wasn't looking at her, his glass forgotten at his side and she could only imagine that Oliver had been opening up about his five years away.
His brows were knitted together and she saw him about to speak, which was the last thing she wanted right then.
"Really, I've got to go. I double parked one of the valets and...they'll get grumpy. See you tomorrow." it came out in a rush and she cursed her inability to sound unaffected.
"Felicity, wait." Oliver said as she turned and she hated that tears actually pricked her eyes.
"Oliver, it's fine." she told him, blinking rapidly until she knew she could look at him again. She forced a bright smile on her face and tried to not let it waver as he gave her that concerned look that always made her stomach flip.
Her hand flashed out before she knew what she was doing and took the glass from him, knocking it back in one go. The burn was actually welcomed and she only coughed once before she handed it back to him. "Good stuff."
She'd made it as far as the bottom step when he stopped her with a hand to her elbow.
"Hey, I wasn't...keeping you out." he said softly, and she could hear the regret in his voice.
"It's fine. I told you. You guys need your time. I get it. I mean you train and fight together and there are probably times when you don't want a girl in your clubhouse. Something to do with being soldiers and brothers in arms and all of that, and I don't have a membership card. Really, I get it." her gaze was resolutely fixed on anywhere but him,
"It's not that." he said gruffly, two fingers rubbing across his forehead as he sighed, "Don't think I don't appreciate what you do for me."
A swell of pride rose within her and she hoped he thought the flush in her cheeks was from the vodka. "This place would fall apart without me." she said cheekily and got a quick upturn of his lips at that.
"It would." he agreed, and then his expression darkened. "But...there are things," she could see the growing frustration at his inability to get his words out. His eyes shut tight for a moment before he continued. "You heard what Sara said. There are parts of my past that are so dark...so broken and damaged...I don't want you touched by that." his tone was almost bitter and it tore at her heart to see him like that.
She knew he carried secrets and burdens she couldn't even begin to comprehend. But what he kept failing to understand was that she didn't judge him for his past. She accepted all of him because it had made the man who stood before her today.
She could be patient. He'd come around eventually. The changes had already begun. And suddenly she was no longer jealous he'd chosen to speak to Digg instead of her, regardless of his reason. He'd chosen to speak. It was a step.
Carefully she laid her hand over his where it rested on the handrail, "You know how you fix the dark places, Oliver?" she asked gently. When he didn't answer she wrapped her fingers tight around his and squeezed. "You let the light in."
Her hand slid from his and she made her way slowly up the stairs. When she turned on the landing he was frozen in place, with a look on his face like he'd learned a secret he didn't quite understand.
Just as she moved to continue up the rest of the stairwell his head swiveled to her, and she saw something in his eyes she'd never seen before. She thought maybe it was hope.