"Sorry darling," a sultry new voice disdained from an alley only a few feet away. A slit of earthy green knee-high boots emerged first followed by the rest of the knockout woman clothed in green with flaming red hair to offset.
Poison Ivy gave a poisonous smirk to match her name. "I'm afraid I've forgotten it already."
With a poise that told that he was no longer fooling around, Robin slicked back his final bit of dark hair into place. In learned preparation, not fear, he tensed on his feet as the goddess of green came to stand alongside her partner and cast that same unimpressed gaze over his new team. When Harley wasn't with her infamous boyfriend, when she was in the midst of one of their many breakups, she was one half of the equally infamous Gotham Queens of Crime. They, like Robin himself, were plenty a match on their own without a superpower to speak of.
Ivy was more subtle in welcoming Robin home. She blew him a kiss he wouldn't ever want to catch.
As he prepared himself, Robin had a certain positioning that discouraged the others from moving past where he stood at the frontlines. The two women didn't seem in a terrible rush to get out with their loot to save some endangered rainforest or splurge on a shopping spree so Robin took that opportunity while he had it. "Okay guys," he started, turning his head only slightly back to them. "I know we've seen plenty of supercharged figures in Jump but these two have been in the business longer than even me and it would be a grave mistake to underestimate them. Harley-"
"Ooo, do I get a stat screen?" Harley cut in, perking up at the mention of her name "Like one of those dork wizard card game thingies?"
Like he hadn't heard her, Robin continued on even as she struck a pose as her abilities were being described. As if they were all about to engage in some big game, Ivy too struck a sensuous pose when it was her turn and she leaned an elbow onto her friend's shoulder. "We're awfully lucky aren't we, Harley, breaking out when we did?" Ivy continued, making no move to break her casual pose as the teenagers all tensed in preparation to attack. "We might've missed only just the Batman but we also missed Bratgirl."
"Yeah, this'll be lots of fun, Red!" And, breaking Ivy's quiet dignity, Harley bounced up, dislodging her friend, and made like she was a boxer in a ring pumping herself up. She seemed to be the only one full of such pep but that pep suddenly deflated like a popped balloon when she noticed a certain expression on Robin's face. "Aww man, kid's got that "This fight is such a chore; let's just get it over with" kinda look about him. This is supposed to be a treat after so long but he's not even going to give us the ol' 110%. What a drag!"
"He was getting along into those dreaded teenage years last time we saw him…" Poison Ivy mentioned with a little pout.
Like all her former energy had left her, Harley dumped her duffel bag full of cash onto the ground. "Yeah, what of it?"
"If I recall, our Robin was developing a rather hot little temper." Ivy curled a finger over her chin in amusement, having fun as she strung out her little game, and Robin's stance remained unchanged, readying his team for a fight with some of the big-leaguers from Gotham. She lightly clenched her pearly whites into a mischievous grin. "Perhaps we can stoke that flame a little…?"
A new infusion of pep was injected into Harley's spine and she sprung up at the very idea. "Hey yeah! All we need to do is tick him off!" She cupped her hands to her painted lips and recited in tone annoying even for her, "Hey super-brats, I bet you didn't know that when your little leader was a rookie he was getting captured like every week and Bats had to rescue his sorry tush constantly!"
As soon as those words left Harley's mouth Robin's heroic pose lurched back and faltered in that she would ever dare. He noticed his jaw had dropped and he corrected that at once, crunching his teeth back so that his teammates couldn't see this weakness for any more than a couple seconds.
"Are these words she is speaking truthful?" Starfire wondered out loud despite herself.
"I…uh," Robin tried for a grasp on words when he could neither lie to her nor admit a truth that was such a blow to his pride. He didn't trust himself to look back to any of them when the furious blush on his cheeks would betray him. "It's not important! Cyborg and Star, you take Ivy! Raven, you're with me! Be ready, stay alert, on my signal!"
The partners in crime had made a little crack in the Titan leader's resolve but they didn't stop there when they could get a better fight out him yet.
"Harley dear, do you remember that one Halloween where I filled those pumpkins with toxic gas?"
He'd only been trying to recover from the last blow but that remark sent Robin's face so red that his vest could've been pink by comparison. He seemed to forget about his friends and lashed out like his words were barbed whips. "Shut up!" he yelled at them but for the reprimand they only giggled. "I'm a vigilante so don't think that I have to leave you in one piece for the cops! I don't! I swear if you-!"
But Harley was already carrying away with the story told far and wide in Robin's rookie days. It wasn't so much a story either but her simply bouncing up and down like a bunny that had ingested an entire field of cane sugar. "Sugar, sugar, sugar!" Harley cried out in glee, screaming the word louder every time. "I was a bad widdle boy and ate all my Halloween candy in one go!"
The other Titans didn't have time to find the humor in the situation when in the center of them Robin fumed like a spiky-topped volcano ready to burst its top, embarrassment and fury battling it out within for top bidding.
"Wasn't that the October they started making Robin costumes along with the Bat?" Ivy asked though she knew it was.
"Sure was!" Harley took a moment from her crazed imitation to say. "They were a total hit that year too…with all the little girls!"
Cyborg whistled at that. None of the second-rate villains of Jump would have ever dared to tease Robin if they knew what was good for them. Their leader usually held back his full strength in battle but the way he seethed now as if magma was bubbling just below his skin all bets were off. That the two women could ever do such a thing alone told stories of the caliber of villains they were.
"You're going to pay for that!" Robin spat. "Titans GO!"
The teens had strategized the best form of attack playing to their strengths and they all leapt forward at once.
"TITANS STOP!" Harley shouted and in the close vicinity everyone's eardrums rang. Despite themselves, when the second demand was so unexpected after hearing the original so many times, Starfire, Cyborg and Raven all came to a screeching stop.
Robin too came to a screeching stop but only when his teammates were no longer at his side, when Harley and Ivy took the team seriously at last and spread out in preparation to engage them. The red that had colored his face just about spread to the whites of his mask and the Titans suddenly felt small under that glare. "We're not playing Simon Says! I said go! GO!" But he disappeared right after in a blur before any of them could pick up into a run again to wipe the smirk off of Harley's face.
Like it often did, anger made a fighter a little too reckless in order to score a hit and so Harley dodged in and out of Robin's first two punches. She only dodged, didn't hit back. For every miss her smirk just kept getting wider and Robin's frustration peaked higher.
"Uh oh, he's real steamed now!" Harley mocked though the next fist just grazed her. "Run for the hills, Red, it's teenage angst!"
But Robin wasn't alone with her for long. When Harley reared back to finally deliver her first blow she suddenly jilted in place when that fist became encased in a little black orb. Nothing however seemed to curb her amusement of the situation.
"Ooo, neat little trick, Donna Darko!" Harley said, looking on her trapped hand but then she jiggled her wrist. That fist detached from her wrist, revealed as a fake hand, and she sent her real one crashing into Raven's surprised face.
The look of devious delight never left Poison Ivy's green eyes as Starfire and Cyborg both charged her at once. She might've seemed defenseless, the only visible weapon on her being a tiny wrist crossbow, but she never let the two reach her. From concealed pockets on her person she threw tiny packets of powder onto either side and in the same second they exploded writhing vines engorged to the size of pythons.
Cyborg pulled back in time from the sudden obstacle but the vines caught Starfire and sent her reeling back in the air.
Like it was a dear pet, Ivy curled a finger under the petal of a flower that had bloomed from one of the vines. That vine slithered through the straps of the gym bag full of money and held it up high in the air as if it was a prize to be won for the victor of the fight.
"Looks like your little garden could use some pruning." Cyborg cracked a grin and cracked out of few of his sharper metal appliances.
In answer for the threat of hurting the thing she prized over humans, Ivy threw two more packets not at Cyborg but behind him and yet more vines burst to life from nothing. When they surrounded him from all but one side he could only run and fire behind him at the vines that gave chase. Ivy watched him run but was more than ready for when Starfire returned from the corner of her eye.
Had Starfire only been able to reach Poison Ivy through her plants she could've ended it right there with her superior physical strength but Ivy was too experienced a veteran to make such a rookie mistake. She could've had her plants handle it but she took care of the other redhead herself with an arrow shot directly at her face.
Starfire could only block her face with her metal armband, ricocheting the arrow, and while her view was hindered Poison Ivy stepped from Starfire's path and sent her boot crashing into the girl's exposed gut.
"Orange skin doesn't really go well with your complexion," taunted Ivy as though it was somehow required of her when it was concerning another redhead. She moved to strike the same place again, this time with a spiked heel. "Too much sun, darling?"
"Not happening, lady!" And Ivy was forced to back away when Cyborg sent a blast of energy her way.
With a pout, she stepped away from an ailing Starfire and refocused her flailing vines from grabbing anything they could to just solely go after him. Poison Ivy usually remained in place whenever she was cornered in a greenhouse or the like, nestled in a cocoon of both defense and offense, but now her plants were not rooted in any soil and could freely move with her along the concrete.
He'd gotten in a few already but Robin was sure that he was going to score a hit on Harley this time so he put all of his weight into it.
The gymnast reeled back like a limbo player and Robin's weight distribution was thrown off as he kept on forward. Harley saw an opportunity when he was crouched so low and she playfully jumped off his back. "Leap frog! You want to go next, Donna?"
"It's Raven."
"Nevermore!" Harley returned, kicking her leg up at the girl in glee.
"Ugly, greasy motorcycles ridden by fat old men!" Raven quipped in a heartbeat when it was a matter of names. That quip and the no-nonsense way Raven said it made a flash of annoyance cross Harley's painted face and Raven had to engorge a couple of orbs around her fists like boxing gloves to fend off Harley's flurry of blows in retribution for the insult.
The smile hadn't left Ivy's face since the fight had begun and it only widened when Cyborg was held captive before her upside down in her vines. He struggled just as much as he was able but she gave him a light push when he wouldn't be able to free himself.
"So have you figured it out yet?" Ivy asked him, completely confident that he couldn't touch her. "Not like it matters anymore but do you know why my vines seem to appear out of nowhere?"
"Seeds…" Cyborg huffed, flexing his fingers but the vines also ate those up. "They're implanted in the soles of your shoes…where ever you walk you…"
"Very good," she said in an overabundance of praise, patting his bald head.
Behind them Starfire was similarly getting swallowed up by vines but while Cyborg was restricted in every way Starfire sent bolts from her eyes in rapid fire onto the vines. More replaced the damaged ones almost as quickly but still she was able to make some progress throughout her constant struggle and crawl in the direction of her trapped friend.
Ivy knelt lower so that she was eye level with the struggling teen. "Robin told you to attack me from a distance but I think that you should know that I'm every bit as poisonous up close."
Starfire only gotten so far along the ground and she couldn't reach them in time when Poison Ivy was closing in.
"Robin, Raven, assist Cyborg this instant!"
But the two could only spare him a moment's notice when they had their hands full with Harley. When they saw Ivy closing in not with any sort of weapon but with her lips any of Raven's confusion was overwhelmed by Robin's immediate anxiety that he couldn't stop Poison Ivy's deadliest special move from happening.
Breaking formation, he gave Harley a shove and switched targets to break Ivy's kiss when seconds were the difference between life and death to its victims. She seemed to have been pulling out of that kiss before she killed Cyborg but still Robin whipped her aside with his Bo.
"Cyborg!" Robin shook his friend that dangled above like a cocoon as meanwhile Raven cried out in pain from Harley's endless attacks and the vines came in every direction to Starfire so she couldn't blast them all at once.
The girls' dire situations rang clearly in his thoughts but still Robin shook his metallic friend again and again when he was only met with dazed silence. "Cyborg, snap out of it!"
All at once Starfire had had enough and as the vines enveloped what little of her not already trapped her green energy seemed to radiate from her core. It glowed from her palms and eyes and when that deadly energy touched the vines it withered them down their spines so that she was able to wrench herself free out of brute force.
"I never said you could get back up!" And Ivy slammed several more vines her way.
Had they just come in one big wave Starfire would've been able to have blasted a big hole right through the center but they came in several small unpredictable waves. She shot down and dodged many of them, nearly reached the end but one tripped up the tip of her foot and unbalanced her and that was all the vines needed to send her back to the ground.
By now Raven was on her knees and panting heavily from all the bruises she'd sustained in vital areas from Harley's attacks. She could only try to take a couple breathes to recover as Harley, less injured in that Raven was trying to subdue rather than maim, advanced on Robin.
"You need to be paying attention, kiddo!" She kicked in the side for his inattention but her next kick was blocked by Raven's dark energy.
Robin was sent reeling to a side but once he got that jolt he saw that the vines were again advancing on Starfire and she was weakening to keep them at bay another time. He ran to her and shredded them with his birdarang with a vengeance.
"Star…" he pulled her up by her shoulders. Though tough she wasn't invincible. "Are you all right?"
"I will recover shortly." Having him there to help her gave Starfire some additional strength to blast some of the vines that had been advancing on Robin. Forgetting for a couple moments, they both stared at the other in concern.
Before another moment could pass they were brought back by barely concealed snickering bit back from exploding into full on laughter. Harley pointedly whispered something into Ivy's ear.
"Stop whispering about me!" Robin barked out in fury and quite forgetting about the object of his affection itself he charged to punish them for making fun of it. But they were ready and cut Cyborg loose from his restraints.
Taking in the dazed look in his friend's eyes, Robin came to a wary standstill.
"Cyborg," Ivy said in a seductive voice and, under her spell, Cyborg smiled dopily like it was the sweetest sound he could hear. "Be a dear and ice your friends for me."
He obliged at once. His cannon charged to life and he aimed it directly at Robin's head as if he were the enemy.
"Starfire, duck!" Robin dodged one way out of the line of fire, Starfire rolled the other way, and the beam passed through the center of them, hitting nothing until it reached a building's wall and punched a large hole through.
"Ha ha, cool! We have our own Robot-Man now!" And Harley grabbed a catatonic Cyborg's arm as if he were a prized Christmas present. She poked at his metallic form. "Do you have an oven or something with all those other things? I can't cook very well."
"Raven, Star, at my side! We'll take them down all at once!"
"That would be a good plan in theory," Ivy started as if pondering over the idea, "but I'm sorry to say you've already lost, Robin."
"What!?" He knew he was a fool to turn away from them but he did it anyway to check on the remaining female Titans. Raven could only limp with the aid of steadying hand on a wall, suggesting that she had sustained many serious bruises from Harley, and the whole of the plant life had redirected its attention to Starfire and was consuming her once more, wrapping extra tightly around her hands and eyes to cut off circulation so she couldn't fight back.
Robin couldn't go to either of them without being taken down himself for revealing his back to the enemy.
He was the only one left. He was tired and on his second wind but he stood tall to engage Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn and his own teammate alone.
Cyborg's cannon was again charged and ready to fire but with an abrupt murmur of dismay Ivy told him to lower his weapon. She recalled her plants from Starfire and arranged them along the street walls in an artful form as her own personal signature.
"Wha- what are you doing!?" Though he was relieved to see that Starfire could breathe again he had to know.
"Your poor little team is all tuckered out," Harley explained and she shooed Cyborg along to get back to his friends. "You know we have a soft spot for you so we won't take it any further than this."
"That's right," Ivy said. She summoned the gym bag back down from its heights and tossed it out in peace.
He balked when he saw them raise their hands into the air.
"We surrender."
Robin was struck speechless but he recovered his voice soon enough. "You – you can't surrender! We're not finished here yet! Starfire, Raven, get up!" He pulled Cyborg's face down to his level and began slapping it. "Come on, Cyborg," – he hissed in a very low voice – "you can't do this to me!"
"Oh we just wanted a little fun, Robbie, so we got what we wanted."
"Get up!" he demanded from them when they sat down to wait for police. "I'll take you both on myself!"
"Nah," Harley blew off easily and Ivy seconded that. They didn't rise to any of his threats and insults and stayed completely stationary until the police came to take them into custody. It was no trick. They held out their hands for the cuffs and sat down peaceably on the benches.
"Bye sweetie!" Harley called off to Robin cheerily, waving her hand in show.
"Kisses!" Ivy joined in, wishing him goodbye in the same mocking way.
Even Raven knew that a single sarcastic quip about if the Queens of Crime had always treated him like he was four would be far out of line to Robin now when the enemy had purposely thrown a fight. Any of the Titans would be stepping on coals if ever they were to talk to him now.
The girls could have stayed silent that entire night to him in that cold silence he was fronting but Starfire needed to speak.
"Cyborg, how might we repair him to full capacity? He is stuck…stuck like the way Mad Mod would stick-"
Raven made a cutthroat gesture to keep Starfire from uttering Beast Boy's name and bringing up another failure on Robin's part when he needed it least. The Titans all made their way Cyborg and eased the tallest Titan to the ground where they could examine him properly.
Robin expected nothing unusual but he was unpleasantly surprised when he realized that Ivy's dust had never infected a cybernetic human before. In humans the spores controlled minds but in machines…
Already green tendrils were curling through Cyborg's circuits and spreading rapidly from their point of entry. He was more machine than human and Ivy's plants tore machinery apart at the seams. Robin didn't need to check to know that he had no antidote on hand from his long time away from Gotham and he cursed himself for it now.
At best they had about ten minutes.