*~*Big thank you to everyone that read, reviewed, and added to their alerts/faves. Oh and I cannot forget about my wonderful Beta Xo BellaItalia oX, who is absolutely magnificent. Thanks, girly!
*~*Don't own Twilight and don't think I ever will.
I rushed down the hallway at top speed, narrowly avoiding a collision with Nikolai Stoermer, who was leaning on a locker, sucking on a lollipop while playing with the hem of his cat sweater. He yelled at me in some weird language, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize.
The only thing on my mind was escaping this stupid town. I couldn't live in Forks anymore. Not if I was going to have to see my back-stabbing friend and my almost boyfriend make out like the horny teenagers that they truly were. No, I had to get far away from all the lies, all the secrets. I had to carve Jasper out of my heart.
A sob escaped my mouth at the thought.
Rounding the corner breathlessly, I slammed into a hard body with so much force that I fell on to the ground. Pain shot up my wrist and my ass hurt from the fall. I glanced up and all color left my face. Oh to the fucking no. Edward Masen was standing over me. His green eyes widened comically when they landed on my flushed, snot-covered face.
Tears were still trickling from my eyes and the iron hand gripping my heart squeezed just a little harder. My breath caught in my chest as he crouched down, a tissue in his outstretched hand. I hesitantly reached out for the tissue; the voice at the back of my head told me that this boy was not to be trusted. I ignored the warnings and wiped my face, silently thanking him for the Kleenex.
"Are you okay, schiz?" His voice was soft, as if he was talking to a child. Wait, what did he call me?
Quickly getting up, I glared at him before opening my mouth and letting the words flow. "Yeah, I am 'okay', Eddie-boy. I'm having a wonderfully shitty day. You wanna know why?" He arched a perfect eyebrow and anger boiled inside me. "I'm having a great day because your stupid ass friend can't keep her legs closed and insisted on ruining my fucking life. Any time I am remotely happy she has to piss all over my fucking parade like the Class A skank that she is. My day is full of sunshine and tap-dancing daffodils because I just found out that the boy I'm interested in has been fucking some bimbo behind my back. Don't worry, Douchesauras Rex, I'm doing fine and I don't need you to worry about me."
I stomped away, leaving him open-mouthed in the middle of the hallway. It should've felt great to get all of that off my chest; it didn't. The corner of my mouth turned down and I wiped my eyes as I walked out the school building. Dragging my feet, I made my way over to my van, not even bothering to protect my hair from the heavily falling rain. My body felt like lead as I shuffled from side to side. My wet hair stuck to my neck and face, causing me to shiver.
My hands reached into my pockets for my keys, but they weren't in there. Slightly panicking, I patted my jacket and checked my pockets once again. A gust of icy wind passed over me and I trembled. The cold was seeping into my bones and I methodically rubbed my arms to try to kick out the chill.
With no keys and no intention to continue the school day, I decided to just say fuck it and walk home. I wasn't going to go back into the cafeteria looking like a drowned rat. I still had some dignity left. Pshh, yeah right.
Tugging on the sweater I was wearing, I started walking home, a slight limp to my walk, thanks to my sore ass and fucked up foot. Tears fell down my face and gibberish spewed out my mouth. Half of the things I was saying weren't making any sense. I was finally broken and it was my entire fault. I was so stupid to have fallen in love with a boy that gave his heart to another. He loved her, he loved her, he loved her.
My teeth rattled when the freezing air hit my neck. I took in a shaky breath and continued to walk.
How could he love her? She was evil incarnate, Satan encased in a pretty girl wearing designer clothes and dripping expensive jewels. I was so much better than her. Materialistic things didn't claim my attention; I could shop in thrift stores for all I cared. I had an actual beating heart full of love that solely belonged to him. And yet, he didn't want me. Why?
You're overweight, plain, repulsive, worthless.
I clenched my eyes and let the sobs wrack my body. Wrapping an arm around my waist, the pain of losing my first love washed over me. The oxygen was suffocating me, killing me. It was too much. The note. Jasper loving Alice. Alice and her false everything.
My legs gave out and I crumbled to the ground. A mixture of raindrops and tears streamed down my face. I could feel my heart breaking into miniscule pieces. I could feel it being pulverized into dust by that iron hand. Images of Alice and Jasper married, living with a dog and two perfect kids in a suburb swirled around in my brain. Them fucking each other into oblivion flashed behind my eyelids.
Silently gasping for breath, I gathered myself to my feet and wiped my face, spreading mud all over my face. I took in a shaky breath and made my way home. Aside from the sloshing sound that came from my shoes, whimpers were the only sounds I made.
It took minutes, hours to get home and when I did, I was a shaking mess. My whole body was numb and my lips were almost blue. I was completely drenched from head to toe, not one spot on me dry. Slowly walking up the stairs to my bathroom, I tried to keep my mind blank. The wet clothes stuck to me like a second skin, but I somehow managed to strip down to my underwear and bra.
Looking at my reflection in the mirror, I couldn't recognize the person staring back at me. Her eyes looked dead, flat and emotionless. She was shivering, her arms crossed over her chest in an attempt to bring warmth back into her body. Her hips were too wide and her waist wasn't so small. I turned my head, not sure if I could watch any longer.
I stepped inside the shower, adjusting the water to its hottest before sitting on the tiled shower floor. The hot water stung my skin, but I couldn't focus on it. I couldn't focus on the banging downstairs and I couldn't focus on my name being shouted. I shut the world out and fell into a dreamless slumber.
Hours later, I woke up in my bed, fully dressed and my sinuses acting up. I coughed, groaning when I realized that I was probably going to have to deal with a cold for a week or two. My droopy eyes were hurting and I think I was running a temperature. Yawning loudly, I sunk into the mattress a little more.
"Bella?" a soft voice reached my ears and I looked up towards the door.
Rosalie stood in my doorway, a tiny smile on her lips, a plastic container in her hands and my bag slung over her shoulder. She looked nervous and maybe a tad bit scared. I tried to come up with a reason for why she would be here. Maybe she wanted to curse me out. Or maybe she was going to throw a hissy fit at me.
I eyed her warily before saying in a croaky voice, "What're you doing here, Rose?"
She looked embarrassed as she held up the container in one hand and my school bag in her other hand.
"You sort of left your bag in the cafeteria. I saw you storming out after talking to Alice and I was waiting for you to come back, but you didn't. I dropped off your van after school. Your mom answered the door and said you were sick, so I went home and cooked up my grandma's chili soup. Just came back to leave you some." Rosalie bit her lip while moving side to side. She placed my bag atop my desk, her eyes darting across my face the whole time.
Emotions filled me, curiosity being the strongest one out of all of them. Why would Rosalie go through all that trouble? I mean, I was ignoring her. She should be putting some voodoo spell on me while dancing around a fire.
Scrunching up my eyebrows, I asked her silently, "Shouldn't you be flipping me off and telling me to spin on it?"
Her laugh made a part of me feel better, the part of me that missed my friend so dearly. I was dying of happiness. She wasn't yelling at me and accusing me of being a terrible friend, even though I deserved an award for being the worst friend in the world.
"I think you should be doing the same thing, too. Bella, I just…" she twirled a strand of hair in between in her fingertips, a frown on her face. "I was being a mega bitch and I really have no excuse. Emmett and I got in a fight the day you got that note from hell and-and I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me the most. If you give me another chance I'll be the best friend you could ever have."
As I looked at her, I saw the shy girl that was hardly let out in the open. Rosalie was so determined to be known as the tough girl who could role with the dudes and burp the alphabet backwards. Okay, maybe she didn't aim for being a complete dude, but she wasn't known for her softness. Her viper tongue and mean advice kicked people's asses and most people couldn't handle it. But I needed that in my life. I needed my old friend back.
Flashing her a smile, I told her that she could love Britney Spears and she'd still be my home skillet biscuit.
Rosalie slowly walked forward and sat on my bed. She reached into her jacket pocket, pulled out a plastic spoon, and handed me it along with the container full of chili. I blushed for no reason and popped the lid open. The aroma made me lick my lips and I quickly ate a spoonful. Sputtering when the spices ignited in my throat, I glared at the giggling girl across from me perched on my bed.
"You know my grandma likes her soups spicy." She said laughing.
I chuckled and placed the soup on the bedside table to the right of me. Wringing my hands, I tried to think about what I had to say. Everything, just tell her everything.
She was sitting on my bed, the smile still on her face, and I knew that I was going to have to tell her. Friends don't keep secrets.
"I slept with Jasper." Oh great, word vomit.
She was silent for the longest time, her face emotionless and her body tense. She stared at me unblinkingly, her mind probably processing what I just blurted out. Then, a smile slowly crept on her face and she screamed in excitement.
She jumped on top of my bed while shouting, "No fucking way!" She sat down in front of me and shook my shoulders, questions spilling out her mouth. "How was it? When did you guys bang? Was he good? Oral? Anal? Did he go down on you? Did you go down on him? Oh my god! My Bella isn't a virgin anymore!"
Blushing, I smacked her arm and told her to shut up. "Dude, my mom is probably being a creeper and watching us from some secret camera she stashed in here. And I was not DTA. So can you please keep it down because I don't need my parents knowing I'm sexually active."
Rosalie hid her smirk behind her hand. "What does that even mean? Are you going to self-destruct if you don't have sex?"
"Ugh thanks for quoting Juno." I rolled my eyes at her while playing with a loose thread on my blanket. Curling the thread around my finger, I contemplated telling Rosalie about the false friendship Alice and I formed. Oh, what the hell. I had to rant about how much of a witch Alice is. I had to say something or else my brain was going to explode into noggin confetti.
My friend smacked my arm. "That movie was the cheese. So what was up with you and Alice? You guys were being pretty friendly."
And there it was. The question I was waiting for. Of course she would ask about my short acquaintance with Lucifer.
I scratched my brow before coughing into my arm. I took another spoonful of the soup, licking the taste from my lips. Nodding noiselessly, I glanced at the Jimmy Page poster on my wall. Thank you, Jimmy Page for giving me some encouragement.
"Basically, she came over to my house offering me poisonous flowers while sprouting some bullshit about being jealous of me. I bought into it and believed her little sob story about her parents being demanding assholes. Do you know she has to take laxatives to remain skinny? Anyway, she bought me a new wardrobe and acted like a fantastic friend…" On and on I went, rambling about the bitch that managed to ruin my life in one day.
Rosalie took a sip from my soup, ignoring my warnings that she was going to catch my cooties. "So let me get this straight, she didn't write the note?"
I shrugged. "At this point, I don't know what to believe."
Biting my tongue, I had to refrain from telling Rose that Alice fucked the love of my life. My heart squeezed and I sniffled. Rose nibbled on her nail while looking over at me. Her movements ceased as she took in my state. I wasn't crying, but I could feel the tears coating my eyelashes.
Her hand flew to my shoulder and I looked up at her in pain. My heart hurt so much and I couldn't do anything about it.
"You're not telling me something." She said looking at me with a concerned expression.
I exhaled a breath before staring out the window. I couldn't say it out loud. If I did, it would make everything real. I wanted to be stupid. I wanted to be oblivious and forget everything.
Looking back at her, I found all the support I needed in her eyes. I bit my lip.
"Jasper and Alice…they've been…did you know they were dating before?" At her shocked expression, I smiled sadly. "Yeah, he told me he dated a girl named Maria. Never for a second did I think that Mary Alice was Maria all along. Ya'know, I thought he liked me. He took me to meet his uncle. That's a big deal, right? I mean, yeah he took me to a hole in the wall restaurant, but I met one of his family members, Johnny, and he told me I was the first girl Jasper had ever brought there. He was probably lying, but for a second, I pictured myself in a loving relationship with Jasper."
Tears welled in my eyes, but I wiped them away. I was going to finish this without crying. "I called Alice like ten minutes after Jasper dropped me off. She was moaning and told me she'd call me later. But when she hung up, she screamed the name 'Jas'. Then today I find out that they have been fucking since last year." I fumbled over the words and when they were out, Rose exploded.
"Those fuckers! I am going to knock her preppy ass into next month and I am going to fucking kick Jasper in the fucking balls. Let's see if he could share a bed with that whore bag once I'm done with him. Fuck this shit! I'm going to fuck them up right now." Rosalie shot up from her seat on my bed, hastily throwing on her jacket and slipping on her shoes.
I was touched by her protectiveness of me and some part of me knew I didn't deserve her as a friend. She came back to me even after I completely cut her out of my life. She was a better person than me. I was not even half the person that she was. We stopped talking for so long, and yet, she was willing to kick people's asses for me. It made my heart leap and tears of joy spring in to my eyes.
She cared about me. We were sisters.
Standing up on wobbly legs, I lightly gripped her arm, snapping her out of her little rant. I wasn't going to let her fight my battles. I was a big girl, now. I just had to deal with the problems life threw at me. It just so happens that this problem was killing me.
"Rose, let them be." She opened her mouth to interrupt, but I kept talking. "I'm serious, don't do anything to them. If they want to attribute to the spreading of AIDS, then let them. I could care less." The words were all lies. I did care. My heart was breaking as I pictured Jasper panting over Alice, both completely oblivious of the world.
Rosalie's movements faltered as her eyes took in my broken state. My lip was trembling and I was gasping in an attempt to wash down the cries climbing up my throat. Her angry expression softened and she took me in her arms, giving me the best comfort I could have ever asked for.
Her hand softly ran through my hair and down my back. She sighed, her lips at my ear, and whispered, "It's okay to cry." And so I cried in the arms of my true friend, wishing for a boy that was never mine to begin with.
*~*Let's clear up the air. A couple people asked if this really was going to end with a 'happily ever after' and the answer is yes. I can't give anything away, so that's all I will say. Jasper isn't such a hit anymore. Yes, he's a mofo and some of you said Bella should never forgive him for being a prick. Can't say I completely disagree with you there. Anyway, I hope you liked this chapter. Up Next: The Three Musketeers Unite!
~geek