*~*WARNING: There is gonna be cursing and underage drinking in this chapter, so please if you're not 18 or up, please press the back button. Oh, and you just might need a tissue.

Any familiar characters, locations, etc. are not my mine. No copyright infringement is intended.

Previously

Just when I was about to ask if she was feeling good, her shining blue eyes met mine as she whispered three words that turned my whole world upside down.

"I was pregnant."

My mouth fell open in shock and my brain just about fried. What did she say? Did she actually say she was pregnant? Pregnant pregnant? No, this could not be fucking happening. Rose always took precautions when it came to that. She was always safe. Hell, her parents had given her and Em the teen pregnancy speech for months on end. I seriously doubted that she would forget about safe sex so suddenly. I mean...gah. This was so not happening.

She had to be joking around. All of this was a giant prank and Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out from the closet and yell 'you just got punk'd'. Watch. That was going to happen. I just had to wait for a few more seconds. Just a couple...

Okay. There's no Ashton. This could not be real. I really couldn't believe this. She wasn't that kind of girl that got pregnant at sixteen. She had life goals and all that typical teenager shit. Rose had it all mapped out; pop out kids as soon she owned an auto-repair shop. Would she really just throw away her plan?

Oh Emmett, I was going to castrate him, with a rusty hacksaw. My best friend was crying all because he couldn't wrap the sausage. Oh shit, oh shit. Poor Em was going to get the scolding of his life when they drop the baby bomb.

'I was pregnant' kept on echoing in my brain and it was bringing back my headache from before. I clenched my eyes shut and rubbed my temples. Rosalie Lillian Hale pregnant? That was the most craziest, most farfetched-est idea in the whole world. There was no way she could be pregnant. No way. She was so... oh god my head was seriously hurting from all of this thinking. I couldn't even really process what she said because I was still in fucking shock.

Rose looked so lost, so damn broken. And yet, there I was, still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that she was pregnant.

Was pregnant... she said she was pregnant. Not is, but was. She couldn't possibly mean she had an abortion? No. Why would I even think that? Rose loved kids. There was no way that she could willingly hurt a baby. Especially if it was hers. So...

My eyes snapped to her face and what I saw there made my heart clench. She lost her baby.

"Oh-oh no, Rose. How did this...when was...why...I am so sorry." I was stuttering like an idiot, trying to find something, anything really, that would express how terrible I felt. I didn't think any word would be good at this moment.

She laughed bitterly, her eyes focusing on the wall to the left of her. I could see her whole body trembling as she choked back her sobs. I took a step forward and with the intentions of wrapping her in a hug, I softly said her name. Her eyes turned to mine and there was such pain, such agony in them that my breath caught in my throat.

Rose bit her lip while absentmindedly shaking her head, and then she looked away again. Her arms were still wrapped around her middle and her hands were still rubbing tiny circles on her stomach.

"I didn't even know I was pregnant," she whispered, twin rivers now streaming down her face. "I didn't even know, Bella." My arms wrapped her in a protective hug and I brought her head to my shoulder. I didn't have to say anything for the dam to break and for her to start bawling.

Her hands bunched up my shirt and she sobbed into my shoulder. I pushed back her hair and stroked her back, trying with all my might to banish the tears that came to my own eyes. With each sob, more and more of my walls crumbled. I wanted to cry for her, for all the pain she was feeling and for all of her suffering. She was so crushed, so hurt and I could do nothing but hug her and tell her everything would be okay.

She dug her nails into my shoulder and I winced at the sting, but continued to brush back her hair and whisper how it was good to cry. She leaned onto me and with her weight, I fell to my knees, still holding onto her tightly. I sat down and pulled her head into my lap. Rose hid her face into my stomach and continued to cry.

At one point, Em had walked into the room, but instantly took a few steps back when he saw just how much Rose was crying. He stood in the doorway for a long time, a grim expression on his usually cheery face. I looked into his eyes, cringing when I saw the despair in them. His sadness was so out of place and it looked so foreign to me. It hurt to know that my two best friends- my only true friends- were in their own hell for the past five weeks and I was too stubborn to talk to them. And it hurt that I couldn't find a way to help them.

Emmett mouthed the words 'take care of her' and I nodded silently. He turned away, sniffling as he did so. His back was to me, but I could see the sharp falls and rises of his shoulders. I was going to have to give him a bear hug of my own after I was done being there for Rose.

He walked away just before Rose pulled her wet face away from my stomach. Her eyes were completely bloodshot and slightly swollen with all her crying, and her nose and cheeks were flushed red. She wiped her nose on her jacket sleeve and closed her eyes momentarily.

My hand ran through her wavy hair and she sighed, tilting her head to the side. Then a sudden thought came to mind. A thought that made me freeze in horror.

What if Rose had lost her baby while I was following after Alice? Fuck. I was a total bitch to her for five weeks for no reason. All those times I looked at her during lunch. I would just turn up my nose and go back to talking to Alice. Rose needed me and I had ignored her. Ignored her and Emmett.

I jumped to conclusions when she didn't visit me at the hospital. I thought she didn't care. All it took was a note for me to lose faith in my best friend and I hated myself for being so fucking weak. How did I let a hate message come between me and Rose? She was like my fucking sister.

When she had come over to visit me that one day, she looked so fucking sad. I failed to notice it, but her eyes were bloodshot and her usually perfect hair was a mess. That should have clued me in that something bad had happened. But being the selfish person that I was, I ignored it and attacked her. I cut her and Em out of my life without a meager look back.

Oh God. That explained why Emmett told me to talk to Rose. I thought he was joking the whole time about her being depressed, especially when he had mentioned his plummeting sex life. But looking at Rose now, I saw how badly she must have needed a friend. Em told me she was depressed and hurt and yet, I didn't listen. I was a selfish bitch.

I felt like a piece of shit. Rosalie was going through something far worse than what I was going through. I got a hate letter, but she, she lost something she can never get back. And I could what I went through, but how was Rose going to ignore what she went through? She couldn't ignore it- she didn't ignore it- and I was quick to punish her for dealing with her own problems.

Fuck. Alice had molded me into this perfect bitch and Jasper had basically screwed around with my brain so much that I had lost all common sense. Jasper.

My heart still clenched whenever I thought of him and it angered and saddened me. I couldn't believe that he would fuck me, whisper pretty words in my ear, but turn around and fuck Alice. I just couldn't deal...

Rose suddenly sat up and she took one deep breath before talking. "While you were away at summer camp, during the beginning, I was messing around with Em...sex. Alec was giving me a lot of attention, but deep down I still wanted Em. Em and I were on that break, so-so I wasn't even really looking at Alec...just teasing him. And then Alec asked me out on a date.

"Em wasn't too happy about it and damn near beat Alec's ass to a pulp, but I told him to back off. And-and that night we had sex and..." Her words trailed off and she looked away, her arm wrapping around her waist again.

All of the pieces fell together and I silently whispered, "You got pregnant."

Glancing at me with pained eyes, Rose sniffled and nodded. She started to play with her fingers and sucked in a shaky breath. "I didn't know till that day you got that letter," she whispered. My eyes darted up to her face and I gasped when I saw the fire in her eyes.

She clutched my hand and scooted closer to me on her knees. "You have to know Bella that I will always be there for you, no matter what. And I-I wanted to be there...but I...my mind wasn't...there was no way I could have been much help. I'm so, so sorry that I wasn't there for you. I feel like an asshole. I..."

Tears welled in both of our eyes and I shook my head, stopping her from apologizing further. "No. I'm sorry, Rose. All those times I looked at you, I thought you were happy that you didn't have to deal with me anymore. And when I saw Em in Seattle, he told me to talk to you. God, I was such a bitch to both of you guys. I am so sorry." Sorry for ignoring you. Sorry for snapping at you. Sorry for hanging out with Alice. Sorry for keeping Jasper a secret. Sorry for not being a friend...

A tear rolled down her face and she wiped here red-rimmed eyes while growling. "I'm such a crybaby."

I gave her a watery smile before telling her that it's good to cry. She shook her head and hugged her knees.

Biting my lip, I blurted without thinking, "I missed your smartass mouth."

Laughing quietly, Rose rolled her eyes and wiped her face with her sleeve again. "Well, I missed you, too. Even your sarcastic remarks."

I gave her a small smile and stayed silent again. I had a feeling that she wasn't quite done telling me everything and I crossed my fingers that we had gotten past all the teary subjects. But there was that one topic we have been avoiding. The baby.

Sighing softly, Rose stretched her legs in front of me and patted her stomach softly. She had a serene smile on her face, but it didn't reach her eyes. Her eyes looked so dead and so haunted. I could hear something falling. Maybe it was my heart. Yes, it had to be my heart falling to my stomach. The dread twisting and turning knots in my gut.

Her voice was void of all emotion as she recounted me the part of her story that was the most gut-wrenching.

"Em had just taken me home and I was walking up the stairs. My whole body was humming from his kiss goodbye. My parents were out at dinner, and I would have invited Em inside, but I was on my period...or it seemed like a period... I was walking up the stairs to my room when my stomach started to hurt. But, it wasn't a tiny ache. It felt like something was stabbing me in my gut, in my back. Blood was gushing from between my thighs and I called Em crying and he took me to the hospital.

"When we got there, they ran a couple tests on me and I hadn't gotten any of the results. I was walking to the bathroom, and I only made it halfway when I got dizzy and I feinted. I woke up an hour later and that's when the doctor told me...I was two and a half months along. My hand had gone directly to my stomach and a sense of excitement overwhelmed me. But then...it was a random miscarriage the doctor said. He laughed at me and said it was for the best. 'You wouldn't have been able to take care of it,' he told me.

My jaw tightened and I clenched my fists. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from asking who the fuck was her doctor. He was going to get the biggest ass kicking of his life, even Chuck Norris would wince. I was going to kick...

"Bella, I felt so dazed, so helpless. Em said I was hysterical. I don't even really remember what happened for the next couple of hours. I was just stuck. And then that's when my mom told me that you were in the hospital. I...I was so scared of walking to your room. Scared that they would pull me aside and tell me about the baby... I kept pacing in my hospital room, trying to work up the courage to go see you. And I did...you were sleeping and I stayed for as long as I could, but I was just so tired and it felt like I was dragged to hell and back. I went home, let the misery take over, and cried in my driveway.

I wiped my wet cheeks and waited patiently as she recollected herself. She breathed in shakily three times. "Those days I didn't visit you, I was crying. Each and every single day. I wanted that baby with every fiber of my being, Bella. And even though I didn't know about the baby till...I loved that baby. Why me, Bella?"

Before she could blink, I leaned forward and hugged her again. She sighed deeply and whimpered as I ran my hand through her hair.

Licking my chapped lips, I tried to come up with the best words possible. I couldn't have word vomit or say something insensitive. Not when my friend was so obviously in distraught. "It wasn't your fault, Rose. Things like this...happen. And maybe it just...maybe it was Fate."

Fate. I sounded like a bullshitter. I sounded like a Jasper Whitlock.

Rose pulled away from me and gave me one last teary smile before getting to her feet. I got to my own feet and groaned when they started to tingle, the blood finally circulating through my legs. I shook out my legs and smiled up at her.

"Thanks, Bella. I really needed that," she said softly. I waved her off and threw an arm around her shoulder.

I squeezed her tightly and told her the only thing that came to mind. "Love you, Rosie Posie." She smiled and this time, it reached her eyes.

...

Twenty minutes later, Rose and I finally finished clearing the air completely. We promised each other that there would be no more secrets. I had also promised to cut all the bullshit I seriously hoped that this would be the last misunderstanding we ever have. The past six weeks were hell for the both of us and if we would've just removed our heads from the shitty sand we stuck them in, we would've seen how miserable both of us were.

When we walked out to the kitchen, the first thing we saw was the crap load of alcohol perched on the kitchen island. A bottle of Jack Daniels here, a bottle of Jose Cuervo over there. It was an alcoholic's wet dream. And I wasn't an alcoholic, but with all of the shit that's happened lately, especially the Alice and Jasper bullshit, I felt like just drinking my worries away. I wanted my good pal, JD, to come and lift my spirits for the night. Just for this night.

Em walked in just then and I launched myself at him, hugging him as tight as possible. He laughed and spun me around. I discreetly leaned down and whispered in his ear, "I'm sorry...for everything."

His muscles flexed and he squeezed me just a little bit tighter.

Translation: Forgiven.

Placing me back on my feet, he ruffled my hair and then wrapped his arms around Rose's waist. Rose leaned into his strong embrace, a tiny smile on her lips.

"So," he said, his eyes suddenly lighting up, "Belly Button I bet that you'll be drunk in five minutes flat." I eyed him incredulously, my eyebrow raised in defiance. Did he really think I was that much a light weight?

Narrowing my eyes at the gigantor, I slowly responded, carefully choosing my words, "And what if I don't?" Emmett scoffed, rolling his eyes before whispering something in Rose's ear. She smiled, winked at me, and then nodded.

Em frowned and told me that he would go to school dressed as a girl. This was an offer I couldn't fucking pass up. Emmett in a dress and in matching eye shadow? I just about pissed my pants at the thought. Oh he was going to wish he never made this bet with me.

Smirking at him, I walked over to the island, and poured some vodka in a shot glass. I glanced over at gave her a questioning look. Normally I wouldn't drink, especially after our tearfest, but I was so keyed up. I had to release some of the fucked up vibes I've been carrying around for five weeks.

She nodded, giving me her consent to drink. I would thank her later, or morning if I did get wasted. And with one last smile, I tilted my head back and poured that clear liquid down my throat.

Fast forward to five minutes and three shots of vodka later and I was completely shit-faced. I was giggling like a fucking maniac, my feet failed to hold me upright, and my brain was hazier than the Pacific Northwest cloud cover.

I was leaning up against Rose and trying to convince her to take her top off. Em was egging her on, but Rose decided to be a prude today and not show us the goods.

"Oh, I got's an idea! Why don't us play Truth or-or Truth?" I slurred while wobbling on my feet. I quickly fell to the ground and I threw my legs in the air, laughing the whole time.

I saw Rose roll her eyes and shoot Em an amused look. I was giggling up at the ceiling, wondering why in the hell there weren't any clouds. Shouldn't there be clouds there? Where are the fluffy, white clouds? I wanted to pout and demand for some white fluffiness, but instead, I took another swig from the bottle containing vodka.

"Okay," Em said, looking at me with an easy grin. "Bellsie Hellsie you still holding that V card?"

I snickered and shook my head, trying my best to not puke. It felt like my brain was flopping around in my skull. Em's shocked expression brought on a new round of hysterics and I rolled from side to side, clutching my stomach as I did so. My tummy hurt so bad.

"Emmy, I love you," I sung in a girly voice and hid my big grin behind my hair.

Em stared at me wide-eyed before turning to Rose. "Ask her who she slept with."

Rose arched an eyebrow and I giggled at how weird she looked. I crawled over to her and started touching her eyebrows, giggling when she shook her head. "I already know who it is," she said. Em was about to say something, but I crawled into his lap, shooting him a grin as I smacked his cheek.

"Jasper Whitlock fucked me." I giggled, taking a swig from the bottle. "Then he ditched me for Alice in Wonderslutville."

It took me exactly five seconds to sober up and realize just what exactly I had said. I dropped the bottle I was holding with a gasp and my eyes went as wide as saucers. Oh fuck. Where the fuck did my verbal filter go?

I looked over at Em, who seemed to have just frozen over. His mouth was wide open, but his eyes were blazing with anger. His whole body was rigid and I could practically see his mind processing this new piece of information. I looked at Rose, who was worriedly looking over at her unusually silent boyfriend.

My mouth opened and closed, but no words came out. Oh god. Oh god. Em looked so fucking pissed. That vein in his temple was twitching and I felt so fucking uncomfortable when his unblinking stare landed on me. He was just looking at me with those crystal blue's and it was getting extremely unnerving. Maybe he thought that I would crack and tell him all about my deflowering. If he kept staring at me like that I wasn't going to stay silent for long.

Fuck my unfiltered mouth. I wasn't supposed to let that shit slip. I could already see the outcome of this clusterfuck. Jasper would hate me for turning his best friend against him. Em would think our whole friendship was based on secrets. And Alice would- gah, I didn't even want to think about what that back-stabbing skank whore would do.

Then out of fucking left field, Em jumped up, threw his jacket on and ran out the door. I stared after him, my mind too slow to really make the decision to go after him. Rose ran behind him, but came back moments later with an irritated look, stating that Jasper was probably going to skip school for the next week or two. I crossed my fingers, hoped against hope that Emmett wasn't driving to Jasper's house, and took a long swig from my bottle, relishing in the vodkalicious burn.

Oh, Isabella, Isabella. You are such a fucking retard. What the fuck did you do now?

*~*I was reply-review fail and I am so sorry about that. I read each one and they all made me smile. Even after a lot of rewriting, this chapter doesn't fully satisfy me, but I really had to get something out there. I apologize if it wasn't good or anything, I might go back and rewrite it. So what do you think?

~geek