Hm, as I promised, here is chapter eleven. For this chapter, we move onto a new person to torture even though I think everyone already knows who it is. Also, I've decided to have Deidara say, "Hmph" because, "Hm" is just my word. -gets defensive over a word- Anyway! Hope you guys enjoy, hm.
I own nothing of Naruto but it would be awesome if I did.
Thankies to Panda-chan101
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Taking the coin, Deidara held it up to look at it some more. It was nothing more than a shiny quarter. Someone probably dropped it here, hmph. Oh, well. He smiled, putting it into his pocket. Maybe he'd go and he could get some clay afterwards if there was time.
Returning back to his clay bird, Hoshi, he climbed back onto it and sat at its neck. "Alright, let's get going. Let's check out that group of stores where Kakuzu took us for pick-pocketing last weekend." he said to the figure and ordered it into the sky. As Hoshi began to gain altitude, Deidara studied the quarter. Awesome. 2007. No wonder it's so shiny, hmph. He grinned at it as it twinkled every time he turned it between his fingers. Dropping the coin onto his palm, he looked ahead and pointed to where he wanted Hoshi to go.
Slowly, the bird began to flip its wings some more and began to move. Looking back down at the coin, he stared to see a tongue wrapped around it. "Wait, no!" he gasped as the mouth on his palm had its tongue wrapped around the coin. Before Deidara could say anything else, the tongue escaped into the mouth with the coin. Turning his hand so his palm was facing down, he began to hit his hand. "Spit it out right now!" he said with his voice raised but nothing happened. With another smack, little choking noises could be heard from the mini mouth.
Leaning over to look into the mouth, he saw it was actually choking on the quarter somehow. Shit! He panicked after seeing the small mouth choking. What do I do, hmph?! I should have worn those gloves Tobi got me for Christmas. Everything is orange with that damn kid, hmph. Deidara told himself in his mind as he continued to hear the gasping noises from his hand. "Come on." he encouraged as he continued to hit the back of his choking hand.
Something like this had happened before and now he was trying to remember how it got solved then. Before, Deidara asked Hidan about his Jashin rosary and gave him a spare one to look at while he went on and on about his religion. It was then that the mouth on one of his hands tried to eat the rosary. It got settled fairly quickly though since Hidan went into a rampage, meaning loads of cursing and wrestling to rescue the rosary from the palm mouth. The only issue now was that it was different; the tiny mouth was actually choking on it.
"Cough it up, hmph!" Deidara continued to encourage with one more slap. That seemed to do it when he heard one final gasp and then heavy breathing. Leaning forward to take a final look, he saw the mouth was open with the tongue hanging out but no quarter. Turning his head down, it came to him that it must have fallen onto the grass. Getting Hoshi to land back on the ground, he grumbled to himself, "Dammit! Get back here right now, quarter. You're going to get me some clay, hmph!"
When Hoshi got back to the ground, Deidara jumped back off and went to find the quarter. "Here it is, hmph," he declared out loud as he bent down to get it. The coin was covered in dirt and saliva, which gave him second thoughts on even picking it up. Making a face, he turned to leave the coin in the grass and went back to the clay bird.
Just a few steps later, Deidara stopped when he felt his foot land on something that didn't feel like a rock or grass or...anything. "EWWW!" he yelped, "I STEPPED IN DOG SHIT!!" and jumped back. Checking the bottom of his shoe, there was nothing there. It made him sigh at his luck but then curious as to what he stepped on. Looking forward, he saw a gray ring caught in the little blades of grass.
A few more seconds went by as he went to grab it from the grass. Hey! This kicks a quarter's ass any day, hmph. Rolling the ring around in his fingers, he was careful to keep it from the mouth on his palm. Looking up at the sky, it was getting later and later. "Well. Better go and get dinner, hmph." Deidara shrugged to himself as he took the ring over with him to Hoshi.
Climbing back up to his usual position, he showed the giant bird the ring that he found. Hoshi just looked down at it and Deidara laughed. "It's a ring," he explained, "Like the Akatsuki one I have, hmph." The bird just looked away as if understanding what it had been told. Putting the ring into his pocket, he patted its head, "Okay. Now we can go and get something to eat." and the bird took off into the sky.
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Hoshi flew at a slow pace to give Deidara a chance to look around for a place to get dinner from. "How does Applebee's sound? I think they have that carry out thing, hmph." he said to the bird though it wouldn't be eating the food anyway.
The flying continued for a while until he decided to keep looking. Leaving the Applebee's, they went to find any fast food restaurants. It was sort of hard to find a place since all Deidara could think of what the ring he found. It was like that super size container of clay Sasori gave him for his birthday. He didn't leave that thing alone for a week.
As the clay figure flew to another patch of fast food restaurants, Deidara studied the ring he had found. It was a simple gray ring that bored him. Man. Even my Akatsuki ring looks better, hmph. He frowned slightly when he saw the ring he found wasn't even a nice one. Does the shit even fit? He randomly wondered as he put it on one of his fingers. The mouth on the hand opened and flung out its tongue at the sudden weight of the ring.
Letting the ring go, the gray color darkened into black. "It fits, hmph!" Deidara gasped and then smiled. The black color wasn't so bad; it kind of gave it a mysterious look. Once the smile formed on his face, the color transformed into a blue. The smile grew even bigger at the change. Leaning forward so his head was beside the bird's, he said, "Hey, Hoshi, the ring I found changes color, hmph!" It said nothing in return but somewhere in Deidara's insane mind, it did and he laughed. "That's amazing. I wonder if it change any oth-holy shit! It turned orange!" he gasped and it turned back to blue as he happily thought to himself. Maybe it's not so bad after all...
Remembering what he was outside for, Deidara tore his eyes from the ring to look at the fast food restaurants below him and his clay creation. "A Taco Bell, hmph!" he pointed, "Let's go there." Without a word, Hoshi leaned to the side and swiftly turned to the Taco Bell. It was good that not many people were outside since it would have been complicated to land. But then again, if a huge clay bird with someone sitting at it's neck landed on the ground from the sky, who would stop to ask questions?
As Hoshi landed, Deidara pushed himself off and onto the ground. Standing up straight, he looked at the bird and smiled. Running a hand down the clay feathers, he said, "Just wait here for me...and don't go chasing bicycles like last time." The beady eyes of the bird turned down to it's creator and nodded as if it actually understood what it had been told. With a smile, he turned away from it and went into the Taco Bell.
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The Taco Bell wasn't very crowded which was good. Picking a line, Deidara looked up at the menu boards that were on the wall. As he did this, he took a step forward when someone left with their food. It was finally his turn when he made his order. When he was done ordering, he figured to make small talk with the cashier as he tapped his fingers on the counter.
"Alright. Your order should be here soon." the cashier said politely while the workers in the back were making the food. Deidara nodded, "Thanks, hmph." but then looked at the person in the line beside him. A bag of food was given to him that just smelled wonderful and it even made his stomach growl. "Green with envy, I see." the cashier said and got a startled look from Deidara.
He just laughed and pointed to the ring he had on. "Green with envy." he repeated and Deidara looked down to see the ring had found earlier was green. Looking back up at the worker, he lied, "I'm not envious of anyone or anything. I have everything I could ever want, hmph." but the other smiled back. "Really?" he asked.
"I have a nice home, buckets of clay, good friends and a great Danna!" Deidara declared loudly as everyone stared on. Someone even began to crack up in the background but he ignored them.
As two bags of food were placed on the counter, the cashier grinned. "Aw, that's wonderful. I hope you two stay together forever. Here's your food, Ma'am." he said. Everything was fine until Deidara heard the last word. "What'd you say, hmph?" he asked with his voice in a whisper. The worker shivered at the sudden change in his customer's mood and replied, "I said that I wish you good luck with your Danna and that your food is here."
"Not...that. What...did you CALL ME?!?!" he asked with a burst of rage at the end. Not only was everyone else staring but they were also shaking in their spots. "I-I called you 'Ma'am'..." he said back with a terrified stutter.
"I'M A MAN YOU FUCKING SHITHEAD!!!" Deidara screamed as he pounded his fists onto the white counter. By now, the mood ring he had on was as red as the rage Deidara wore on his face. No one said anything but just stared. The cashier looked like he would pass out from fear at any moment. "Oh, I'm sorry! It's just you-the hair-I..." he stuttered, not even sure of what to say but Deidara continued anyway. "Whatever. Sasori-danna and Pein told me not to blow anyone up unless I really have to and I don't think this one cuts the cake for it." he said darkly as he took the bags and began to leave.
"Wait! Aren't you going to pay?" the worker yelled after him. Deidara was already at the door when he stopped at what he was asked. Putting one of the bags under his arm, he glared at the worker. "No, but you can have this." he said back as he flipped him the bird. Glancing away from him, Deidara continued out the door.
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Returning to his clay bird, he paused to sigh. Lowering its head, Hoshi somehow had a concerned expression on its face. "That bastard thought I was a woman, hmph." he huffed as he jumped onto it's back. "I mean, do I fuckin' look like a girl, hmph?!" Deidara asked, still furious about the incident as he sat the bird's neck with a hold on each bag of food. With a sigh to calm down, he just said, "Let's just go home." and the clay animal was back in the sky.
The fly back went smoothly and Deidara had to fight to keep himself from eating his share of the food during the ride. Good thing that the bird flew faster than before to get back home so it didn't take long.
Settled back on the ground, he got off the birds back with the two bags of food in his hands. Putting them down beside him, he did some hand signs, which made Hoshi smaller than it was a few seconds go. "We're home." Deidara smiled to the bird that flew onto his shoulder as he entered.
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"I...smell fooooood!" Kisame announced in the living/common room where everyone else was. Right on cue, Deidara came and showed the two bags of food to the others, "Food time, hmph." Now that dinner had officially been declared, he went into the kitchen to unload the bag of its contents.
Deidara put everyone's food on the counter and took his. As the mini clay bird jump from his shoulder and fly out the room, he got something to drink and went into the living room to eat. "It's in the kitchen." he said as he took a seat on the sofa and began to eat.
Some people left to go to the kitchen but Kakuzu stared on, his eyes narrow with suspicion. When the staring became annoying, Deidara snapped, "Can't a person eat, hmph?" Ignoring what he had been told, Kakuzu took a seat next to him. "How much did everything come out to?" he asked. "Nothing...it was free, hmph." Deidara calmly said, not bothering to get into how it came to be free.
The response seemed to have been the answer to the question of life as Kakuzu gasped. "FREE?" he screamed in a mix of shock and pure joy. It began to even scared Deidara to now see his fellow Akatsuki trembling in his seat. Moving over on the sofa, he continued to eat.
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Tee hee, hm. I had fun writing this chapter for CCM. Hm, isn't it odd how fun it is to torute your favorite Akatsuki members? -Looks at Itachi, Sasori, Kisame, Deidara and Hidan while grinning.- I have no idea what I was thinking about when I typed but the ending, hm. The image of a mini Kazuzu trembling because of a free meal makes me laugh for some reason. Hugs to all!