"The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury."
― Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

1986

"Hoggle I need you!" called Sarah, an angry frown slashing her brow.

A few minutes later the wizened, little dwarf appeared over her shoulder, mopping his brow as if he had run to respond to her call.

"Sarah," he huffed. "I was out pruning azalias by the far wall when I heard your call. It's a Tuesday today, isn't it? You never call on Tuesdays anymore. Didn't you say that school nights were a bad idea and that you were trying to dedicate yourself to your assignments since your grades are flagging?"

She nodded. "Yes, it is Tuesday, and yes, I did say that, but this is more important."

The little man sniffed, looking at her expectantly.

"It's the Goblin King," she told her reflected friend. "He's doing this; it's got to be him!"

Hoggle shuddered at the words 'Goblin King' and scowled angrily. "What do you mean he's doing it, he's doing what? What are you talking about?"

"This!" shouted Sarah, "everything. The missing assignments, changed beauty products, expired bus passes, even the job at the library, it's him; it's got to be him."

The dwarf gave her a disbelieving smile. "It's true he's a rat, Sarah, but isn't that just a little bit… petty? Sure you've had a run of bad luck, but I don't think that means that Jareth is behind it."

"You don't understand Hoggle; this isn't just some ordinary bad luck streak. People's memories aren't right, things go missing that I know were there minutes earlier. I swear I've even heard goblins giggling lately, I'm not imagining this. Who else could it be? I haven't run into any other tricky otherworldly beings in my travels. This has his name all over it."

"But Sarah," he chided. "He has no power over you, what exactly could he do to you?"

She snorted. "Yes, I thought so too. No power over me should have been a good safety net for future reprisals, but Hoggle, he still has power over everybody else."

Her friend paled. "What do you mean?"

"I mean everyone important to me, everyone I've ever known. He can make them think and do whatever he wants; he can manipulate them into believing whatever he likes. That I'm a bad student, a bad worker, that I have poor personal hygiene or that I've undergone plastic surgery. That I'm an extra-terrestrial for goodness sake! Anything, he can make them believe anything, and if enough of them are thinking it then it's considered the truth via the majority here. This is a serious problem; he can really stuff up my life if this goes on."

She watched Hoggle wipe his sweaty palms on the legs of his pants. "I don't know Sarah, why would he do such a thing?"

"That's just it," she cried. "I don't know why. I need you to talk to him, or I need to talk to him. I have to make contact somehow."

Her friend gave her a fearful look. "I… I can't," he quaked.

"Then maybe you could ask Sir Didymus for me? Please Hoggle, I'm really asking. I'm desperate here, I need your help."

His lip hardened, but Sarah could still see a flicker of fear in his eyes. "Okay," he agreed hesitantly. "I'll see what I can find out. I still think you might be wrong though, Sarah. Don't be too disappointed if it all comes to nothing."

Sarah nodded, watching her friend's image fade in the mirror. She let out a sigh of relief, feeling slightly more assured now that she was doing something to better her situation. Surely the Goblin King wouldn't be unreasonable, was he simply being a bad sport over losing their game? Now that she'd reached out there must be a way to resolve this.

As she grasped the hairbrush on her dresser, her hand met an unfamiliar object. She glanced down to see she was gripping an overripe banana, not her hairbrush. A banana which most certainly had not been on her dresser when she'd first sat down. Cursing under her breath she tried to ignore the quiet litany of tittering which echoed throughout the room. Once she figured out what Jareth's problem was, she was going to wring his perfect neck.

1998

She had said down…

The elbow to the ribs was not expected though, nor was a full sized Goblin King on top of her. Any sized Goblin King, actually…

She feels the air in her lungs catch as her diaphragm spasms and contracts painfully, preventing her from drawing breath. Something so basic, breathing in and out, oxygen, now that it is denied to her she is lost to terror. She clutches him instinctively, realising seconds later that this is a result of panic, not reasoning. The pull becomes a push as she tries to roughly shove him away, unable to perform the action effectively because she is positioned beneath him awkwardly, her arms inhibited and her torso still cramping. Her breast quivers for air as she tries to fight him off, he lounges indolently in the semi darkness and a bar of light finds her face, flash blinding her vision.

As she finally draws a desperate, ragged breath he removes himself with slow and deliberate nuance, making it clear he does so of his own volition. Trying to blink away her visual impairment she can see the outline of him now as she shields her eyes, a bright patch in the gloom of the cavern.

His voice echoes, an obvious sign that they have found a chasm large enough to allow sound to carry and return like an audience of strangers.

"You know, now that I'm really looking, Sarah. I cannot help but realise… after all this time, with the passing of years… you've really let yourself go, haven't you?"

She feels her face heat with fury and embarrassment. The echo lends the illusion that a myriad of voices are paying her insult.

"You're a pig," she gasps, still not quite recovered.

As her eyes begin to adjust she can see the self-satisfied smile on his face. Smug bastard, if she had a needle and thread she'd sew his mouth up. She probably shouldn't be trusted with a needle and thread…

She glances around the underground passage, trying to make the decision as to whether this is the same oubliette she saw on her first trek through the Labyrinth, an outrageously similar oubliette, or not an oubliette at all. Oubliette… that's another great word, the 'oo' makes you purse your lips very suggestively when said aloud.

"What exactly are you doing?" he asks.

She stops herself, realising she's been thoughtlessly making kissy faces at the Goblin King and probably cooing 'oo' aloud.

She fakes nonchalance, "trying to get us out of here."

"Really?" he drawls. "Well… breath taking effort there, keep up the good work." He frowns pointedly at her and then surveys the cavern. "Where the devil are we anyway?"

"It's your Labyrinth," she mutters dryly, "shouldn't you know the answer to that?"

"My Labyrinth?" he raises his brow in disbelief. "Mine? I think we've established that this is your Labyrinth, Sarah."

Right.

"Well, we're not about to be torn apart by Jörmungandr anymore, that's where we are."

"I meant more like a physical location," he says dryly. "Although you're right, it seems like the snake can't follow us down here."

"The snake has a name."

"Which I have no intention of remembering. I'm not about to become on a first name basis with something conjured from your head, in my home, which so far has done nothing but try to eat me."

She smiles. "You don't know that it was trying to eat you, not really."

"Kill me horribly then, or maim me beyond recognition. I remain unwavered on snake anonymity."

She shrugs. The snake at least behaved in a mildly snake-like manner, those trees however… That stickiness was just gross, and now she has no shoe, and her foot is cold.

"My foot is cold," she tells him. Once upon a time there was more of a brain to mouth filter in place, she wonders if that's something that will one day come back.

He gives her an exasperated look and then turns with a frustrated sigh, marching out into the shadows of the fissure.

Straight into a wall.

She hears him crack his forehead on solid rock and bites back laughter. So it's a small space after all, her mental instability has simply bent echoes to suit its whims. Sound cannot be trusted, what else? The possibilities are endless. Perhaps these walls aren't mineral rock at all, but rock candy? She stops herself short of testing the theory, there's no way she's letting Jareth catch her out licking walls. Not while she still has enough control over her senses to cease the action. Hopefully it's not rock candy, because if she's missing out on licking rock candy then that's an absolute travesty. Her stomach grumbles loudly at the sentiment, perhaps she shouldn't have turned her last meal into an owl after all.

"I am also hungry," she announces.

The Goblin King growls, rubbing his sore forehead as he steps back into the rectangle of fading light. "I do wonder if you're telling me all of this because you're hoping for some sort of solution. Those sound suspiciously like personal problems, I'd say it's up to you to figure them out."

"And how do you suggest I do that?" she asks, honestly curious. This hole in the ground doesn't seem to have much to offer either of them.

With a sigh he sits heavily against the wall. "How should I know? Use your imagination." He pauses, looking slightly horrified at his own suggestion. He raises his hands in a subduing gesture. "Wait, no. I take that back. Do not use your imagination. Under no circumstances are you to use your imagination. You'll kill us both."

She blinks, wondering if she really has such direct control over the Labyrinth's landscape in a real time environment.

Interesting.

Does that mean the walls could possibly be rock candy? "Do you think these walls are made of rock candy?" she asks.

He closes his eyes, leaning back into the wall tiredly. "I don't know or care right now. I hurt too much to give a damn."

Sarah glances at his bruised forehead and realises that this is not the injury he is referring to. There is a deep slash down his thigh which seems to be oozing blood. She's slightly surprised to see the blood is red, not a royal purple. She thought his very DNA would have 'king' encoded through it. It's a nasty looking wound.

"Why isn't it healing?" she asks.

His eyelids flicker briefly. "I imagine it is healing since it isn't getting any worse."

Except for that whole bleeding to death thing, no worse than that...

"Yeah but… shouldn't it just heal like - BAM! All better?"

He opens one eye and cocks an eyebrow. "BAM? What the heck is that? Some sort of magic? I'm all out right now, unfortunately."

Sarah frowns. "But you're not human so you should regenerate instantly, shouldn't you?"

"Is that what all non-humans do? Where do you get these ridiculous ideas from?"

"That's what you see in stories. Like vampires, they have insta-healing, they're practically indestructible."

He sighs. "Wonderful. I can't wait to meet some of those later, near impossible to kill figments of your imagination. Anything else I should be looking out for?"

She quiets at his acid tone. Momentarily she feels guilty, but quickly pushes that aside. This is actually all his fault, she will not apologise for this situation. She could let him channel magic through her again to heal himself, but why should she? She hates him; he ruined her life and turned everyone against her, even her own mind. She owes him absolutely nothing. Not to mention that then he'd have to touch her again, and just the thought of it makes her skin crawl.

"You should bind that or something," she sniffs, standing and dusting herself off. There, she hasn't been completely cold blooded about the injury, that's more than he deserves. Now she has been charitable and shown herself to be the better person, she doesn't actually need to help him. He doesn't deserve that much from her, nor should he expect it.

He glares at her and then begins to inspect his leg. Ignoring him she starts to forage through a small pile of stones tucked into the corner of the cavern.

"What are you doing?"

She selects a nice, chalky wedge of rock. "Figuring out my personal problems," she tells him. "I'm tired as well as hungry and cold footed; I'm making myself a place to sleep."

She bends, stone in hand, and begins to divide the room in half… unequally. The long shaky line she draws with the rock leaves a nice white path on the dark stone floor. She looks up to see him watching her.

"And what, pray tell, is that?"

"That's a line," she tells him. "This is my side and that's your side. You are not allowed to cross the line."

"You're serious?"

"I'm always serious about sleeping unmolested."

He gives her a disgusted look, as if such a thing had never even occurred to him. Glancing down at the boundary, he sneers. "Why is my side smaller?"

She smiles sweetly. "Because I'm not making allowances for the breadth of your ego right now. I have the chalk rock, I have the power."

She leans down again to draw a large rectangle which will be her bed area.

"Do you really think that going to sleep is a good idea?" he drawls.

"I think it's an excellent idea," she shrugs. "That's what people do at night time, and when we left the human world it was pretty close to my bedtime. Besides, some problems get better if you sleep on them."

He gives an irritated sigh. "I don't think these problems are the sort that qualify-"

"Besides," she reasons, interrupting him. "Hoggle will be along to rescue us eventually."

"Hoggie? How will he even know where we are to find us? You're clearly delusional."

"Yeah," agrees Sarah. "I think we've covered that. So my reasoning should be sound since everything's playing to my tune now. Anyway, he's a dwarf, dwarves are all about being underground and tunnels and stuff."

"Right," he agrees, rolling his eyes. "They are now because that's what you think, and your mind is spilling forth whatever muck it wants and making it truth."

She ignores him, settling herself onto the bed rectangle. She is not at all sure that this is the best course of action, but what else is there to do? She is tired, and there is a high possibility that Hoggle is looking for them right now. Well… for her at least, her companion might come as an unpleasant surprise. She resolves herself to lose the Goblin King as soon as she possibly can. The though cause her to hesitate. She can leave him behind easily enough, but right now time counts. Toby is lost in the Labyrinth somewhere and might be in danger… probably is in danger, considering the circumstances. If the Goblin King knows where he is, and since things are clearly not as 'in her favour' as she first expected, wouldn't he be a useful resource? She struggles with herself, wondering if it's mere stubborn foolishness which makes her wants to part ways with him.

"Do you have a coin on you?" she asks.

He opens his eyes again, his glare far more lethargic than usual. "What?"

"A coin, I want to flip a coin, do you have one?"

He closes his eyes again. "No. There's no such thing as currency in the Labyrinth."

She pauses, considering this. Flipping a coin to decide whether she should abandon the Goblin King or not seemed like a sound plan before she realised neither of them had a coin.

"What do you use then?"

He opens one eye briefly. "Really, Sarah, I thought we were sleeping now, must you insist on interrupting me?"

"I must," she answers snidely, tossing her hair.

He ignores her, repositioning himself against the wall.

The last of the light is almost gone from above now, leaving them in the pitch black of the small fissure. Sarah isn't used to the dark, and she finds herself gripping the chalk rock so tightly it cuts into her hand. This reminds her of the dark room in the institute.

"Aren't you going to bind your leg up to stop that bleeding?" she mutters nervously, liking the sound of her voice in the dark. It fills the space where the bad things could be.

She hears him sigh heavily. "I have no idea what that means."

For a moment she merely enjoys his reply, she's not alone, and he is a known entity, taking up some of that foreboding dark space. It's minutes later when the meaning of his words actually find her and shock her into reply.

"You don't know what it means? What do you-"

Ah.

Well of course he doesn't understand; when would the Goblin King have ever required first aid? If he had been injured in the past he would have simply patched it up with magic.

"It's like tying your leg up with cloth," she explains. "It puts pressure on the wound to help suppress bleeding." She stops, suddenly feeling the need to demonstrate the concept. It's not charity she's driven by, but the need to be distracted in the dark. "I can show you, if you like."

"I thought we weren't allowed to cross the line?" he asks wearily.

"We're not," she agrees, licking her lips. "But I can show you on myself and you can copy me."

A long silence passes in the room, making Sarah feel jittery, before the Goblin King replies. She hears him let out another long sigh.

"Sarah, I can't see anything, so if you're doing it right now it's not exactly useful."

Oh…right.

"Ah." She says, wondering what the solution might be for this new problem. "Do you have any candles?"

She hears a sound that is eerily similar to someone grinding their teeth from Jareth's location. "You know what, Sarah? Let's just make the executive decision that I do not have anything that you need. Shoes, food, coins, candles, I've got nothing, okay?"

"Fine," she huffs. "Don't get testy with me, there must be some way to make it lighter in here."

Sitting up on her 'bed,' she knocks her head against something and brushes it away with a shriek.

"What is it now?" she hears the Goblin King groan.

"Spiders," she mumbles, shakily.

After a pause he replies. "Really?" She doesn't think she imagines the slightly worried note in his voice.

"Probably not, it didn't feel anything like a spider, actually."

Another pause. "You know, Sarah, I'm sincerely starting to hope I will bleed to death quickly, simply to avoid more of these exchanges."

She ignores him, flicking her hand out nervously for whatever swiped against her head. Her palm finds it in the dark, a vine… metal? She yanks down on it hard. There is a loud 'click' and then the wall of the cavern explodes with light. When the brightness fades from her eyes she can see Jareth blinking groggily, his eyes shielded, staring at the cavern wall opposite them.

The surface is no longer stone; or rather it doesn't appear to be. It is like a window into another room, bright, white and sterile looking. Inside an emergency team are pressing a cloth pad against the arm of a screaming woman. In her peripheral vision Sarah sees the metal, chain light switch, swinging above her head. Somehow she has managed to 'turn on' this image. She tries not to think about whether the chain was always there, or if she conjured it out of need.

The emergency crew unwrap a large roll of bandages and start taping up the woman's arm, one of them leaning in to give her a shot, hopefully to stop the screaming. If she knew how to she'd turn the volume down on this thing, it's really not necessary. She glances over at the Goblin King, who is staring at the scene blearily, as if completely lost on what's going on.

"Hey, pay attention," chides Sarah. "See, this is what you need to do to your leg. Wrap it tight, but not so tight that you cut off the circulation."

Unfocused eyes turn on her. "Did you conjure this?"

"That's not important."

The Goblin King looks between the scene unfolding before him and Sarah. "You've got absolutely no idea how you did this, do you?"

She shrugs. "None what-so-ever," she admits.

He shakes his head and starts ripping a length of fabric from his already torn pant leg. She can't help but notice he has perfectly shaped, hairless calves. Bastard.

He is surprisingly adept, despite his lack of experience in treating wounds, Sarah watches with morbid fascination as he grits his teeth and securely binds his leg, knotting his pants into place to stop the work from coming unravelled.

"Well done," she smirks. "I wasn't sure you could actually manage something so menial without your fancy magic powers."

"I'm more than just a pretty face," he replies dryly. "But, then again… I am very easy on the eye…"

She snorts. "Your vanity is abnormal."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," he leers.

She rolls her eyes. Well, at least they have light now, light good, dark bad. And now the Goblin King will live through the night… probably, which means she can decide whether to take him with her tomorrow morning… should she actually have the chance to go anywhere which isn't here, of course.

"Sarah," he calls, and she looks up at him expectantly. "Pray tell, what exactly is this medical procedure?" he raises an eyebrow expectantly.

She looks up to see a ponytailed young man in blue scrubs with his lips pressed firmly against the mouth of the woman with the injured arm.

"That's a touch intimate," goads the Goblin King. "Other things on your mind, love?"

She gives him a dry smile. "It's called CPR, Goblin King. Not my burning, lusty libido from being in the same space as you. Cardio Pulmonary Resuscitation. You give the patient air and then pump their chest to stimulate blood flow to the heart. It's used when someone is in cardiac arrest, like if they stop breathing after a huge shock or drowning. It manually preserves brain function. Don't get all hot and bothered now," she grins. "See, that man will give her chest compressions now."

The Goblin King glances up at the scene again. "That's a man?"

Sarah's eyes flick back to the scene, confirming her previous conclusion. "Yeah it's a man, obviously."

"It looks like a woman," he argues.

"It's a man."

"But just look at that long hair, it rather effeminate" he says pointedly.

She stares at him. "Seriously? This is you saying that? You think that he looks effeminate?"

"And?"

Sarah exhales loudly, rolling over on her makeshift 'bed' to face the wall. "Forget it."

"I demand to know what you're suggesting right now."

She smiles grimly, trying to find comfort on the hard, stone floor. "It's okay, I was totally wrong and you were right, that is definitely a woman. All effeminate men are women from now on, okay?"

"That doesn't even make any sense," he gripes.

"Goblin King," she warns.

"What?"

"Just shut up and go to sleep."

Thankfully, after no small amount of angry muttering, he does.

A/N: Phew, sorry it's late this week. I suspect next week will be very late, as it's my b'day and I've got lots of plans happening. Maybe if you're all really well behaved I'll try to get something up, but we'll see. It is a delight to be writing this on a computer, whole writing is terrible, I really do need to go back and fix that last chapter up a bit. I was rereading it for this chapter and did have a giggle, I have actually used fly spray on my hair instead of hairspray in the past. That is a true story, just as I was running out the door to work, I paused long enough to try and mask the smell with vanilla body spray... that was a seriously misguided decision. Let us never speak of it again...

TheRealEatsShootsandLeaves: Ahaha I said this would be dark, but isn't there too much humour? I'm glad you liked it, I will get serious at some point, but this is fun XD

Smiles1998: I cannot tell you how much I now wish the snake had sequins instead of scales. That would have been much, much more awesome. I will simply imagine it that way, shiny Jörmungandr

Kaytori: Do not panic my friend, all will be made right. He will pay, he will understand, and he will most assuredly get his just desserts.

Morefindiel: Hehe I was thinking to myself, what would just tip me over the edge? Revoked library privileges, glad I'm not alone in this!

qiana: I agree he is very childlike in his understanding and so very cat-like. That's a very fae quality I think. There will most definitely be retribution and honest understanding along the road.

Gotta Dance 88: If you are then we are both terrible people, and I can live with that.

Aleta Wolff: It's definitely that nothing is what it seems. But were those walls rock candy? I really want to know...

J Luc Pitard: I'm kind of looking forward to adventuring these two. Let's see how many weird and wonderful situation i can throw their way *grin

lady fairy goth: There's more than a bit of crazy in me (and remember it's catching). If something weird just pops into my head while I'm writing I just put it in, since I have lots of odd random thoughts it makes writing crazy easy ;D

natzone: I'll make the pie, you shove his face in. Glad you're enjoying the story so far, I look forward to the power play between these two (although I'm all for Sarah keeping the upper hand).