I wish we would have never gone to Redcliffe.
Remember when I said that knowing where Jowan is would bring me comfort. Well I was wrong.
Seeing him again didn't help. It only dredged up old memories and brought back the anger I originally felt towards him that had dissipated after Ostagar. Seeing him again has left me thinking about my past in the circle. Memories of my childhood. Then memories of Jowan in the cell pleading to me to allow him to do something to help and the me refusing. He wanted atonement but I wouldn't allow it because I was selfish.
I hated myself at times.
~ Sirus