A/N: Thank you so much for all the fantastic reviews, and for adding my story to your alerts! It's so encouraging!
I apologize again for taking so long to write. Life's been rough lately.
One more note: Because Harry Potter is set in Great Britain, I try to use British slang and style of speaking, in order for the characters to be in character. However, I am American, so I don't always get these things right. If you're British or have a great knowledge of British culture, and you see something that seems off- please tell me! I use American spellings of words, however (color rather than colour, gray rather than grey, etc.) because I can't think about every word I'm typing. It would drive me crazy.
The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. That's the time to listen to every fear you can imagine! When you have collected all the facts and fears and made your decision, turn off all your fears and go ahead!
-George S. Patton
Chapter 5: Turn off Your Fears
Miss Granger,
Please meet me in my office at seven sharp. There is much to discuss.
-S.S.
She had almost missed the note, scrawled in the margins of her essay on methods for magical shields, amidst the normal scathing comments scattered across the parchment in spidery, green ink.
But it was there—short, formal, and to the point. She suspected the meeting would involve decisions over wedding details and such.
The day had been difficult to get through. Harry and Ron had been supportive in many ways, but there was a lot of awkwardness between them. She got the feeling that Ron was nursing deep anger about the situation, and Harry seemed even more preoccupied than usual. They had tiptoed around her all day long, overly protective and helpful. Their jokes and conversation felt forced, and in Defense Against the Dark Arts, there was a moment where Hermione actually thought Ron might leap across the desk and attack Professor Snape. She had laid her hand gently over his clenched fist, and he made an obvious effort to control himself.
It was difficult to place her finger on precisely what had changed. Her interactions with Harry and Ron had always been so natural, so effortless. She had never thought about their dynamic, before, but now that their rhythm had altered, she realized just how synchronous their friendship had been. Now she could see tightness in their smiles and the way they forced unnatural laughter.
Feigning a headache, she had skipped dinner to get some time alone, and she arrived at the Defense Against the Dark Arts office at three minutes to seven. At least he couldn't criticize her for tardiness.
She knocked. To her surprise, the door opened immediately. Professor Snape stood in the doorway, a scowl etching deep lines into his face.
"Miss Granger." He did not bother with small talk. She saw his eyes dart to the small clock, and she could feel that he wanted to disparage her for being late. The clock must have confirmed her timeliness, as he simply pressed his lips together and grimaced.
"Professor Snape." She felt awkward without adding a follow-up question, like, "how are you?" or, "How was your day?", but the situation simply didn't lend itself to polite inquiries. He sank into the chair behind his desk, and Hermione took a seat in the chair facing him.
He cleared his throat, and clasped his hands on the desk in front of him. "We need to set a date for the ceremony. Would Friday the 25th be acceptable?"
Setting the date made it all seem so much more real. She tried not to think about that. Focus on the conversation, Hermione, she chided herself. "That would be fine. Will the wedding be in the castle?"
"Yes. Professor Dumbledore has agreed to perform the binding at Hogwarts. Two witnesses will come from the Ministry, in addition to Professor McGonagall."
"Isn't it generally tradition for the bride and groom to have attendants?"
"Professor McGonagall will act as my attendant. You may ask one of your… friends," he said, adding a sneer to the last word.
She hesitated for a moment, considering his words. After a pause, she ventured, "Sir… I'm not sure if either Harry or Ron would be an ideal attendant. They aren't very happy about the situation…" her words trailed off awkwardly. "What I'm trying to say is—would it be all right if I asked Ginny to be my attendant? I haven't told her about this, yet, but I think that she might be more understanding."
He regarded her from across the desk. She tried to read his expression, and failed.
Finally, he nodded. "Yes, I suppose it would be acceptable to inform Miss Weasley."
"Thank you, sir." She hesitated, trying to think of what else needed to be arranged.
Finally she ventured, "I was wondering, sir, where I'll live after the wedding."
"The Ministry expects this to be a true marriage, as does the Dark Lord. Certain appearances must be maintained. You will have space in my personal quarters, but you may continue to live in Gryffindor Tower for the time being."
She had nothing more to say to that.
"You are dismissed, Miss Granger. We will meet again in a week or so."
Well, then. She left his office with the beginnings of a severe headache.
Hermione knew that the Gryffindor Quidditch team had a practice at seven, so after her meeting with Snape, she simply waited for them to pass through the corridor on their way to the common room. Luckily, Ginny was usually the fastest to change after practice, so she was the first to pass Hermione.
As she saw Ginny approach, Hermione walked towards her friend quickly, grabbing her arm. "Hey, Ginny… do you have a moment to talk?"
The two girls walked turned away from the tower, heading instead for the privacy of an empty classroom. Ginny smiled at her friend. "Thank Merlin. Are you finally going to tell me what's going on that's got Harry and Ron tiptoeing around you like you're an exploding cauldron?"
In spite of herself, Hermione's lips curved up into a slight smile. "Are they that obvious?"
Ginny rolled her eyes. "Hermione, this is my brother we're talking about. He has all the subtlety of a rampaging troll. And Harry's hardly any better."
Hermione grinned at Ginny's apt observation. A moment later, though, she remembered the purpose of their conversation, and her expression grew serious as her laughter faded.
Ginny noticed her friend's abrupt change in demeanor. "So, Hermione, what did you want to tell me?"
Hermione inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, trying to figure out how to begin. "The three of you are the only ones I've told about this… I haven't even figured out how to tell my parents," she said finally, biting her lip.
Ginny's eyes grew wide. "Bloody hell, Hermione. Are you up the duff?" *
Hermione's mouth flapped open in shock. She exclaimed, "Merlin, no!"
"Well that's a relief. Then what's the secret?"
"On Sunday, I received a letter from the Ministry about a law…" Hermione started.
She explained everything, from the history of the law, to the potential options she'd had, to her acceptance of Snape's petition.
Ginny was silent when Hermione finished. After a moment, she sighed deeply. "Merlin, Hermione. That's a lot to take in. So you really have to marry Snape?"
Hermione nodded, searching Ginny's face for her reaction.
Ginny opened her arms wide. "Come here, Hermione. You look like you need a hug."
The friends embraced. When they broke apart, Ginny asked, "So when's the wedding?"
"It's set for Friday, October 25th, and I was wondering… Ginny, would you be my bridal attendant?"
"Oh, Hermione. Of course!"
Hermione was delighted that Ginny seemed so cheerful about everything, but she also felt a bit confused. "So you're really all right with this?"
"Hermione, I can't deny that I'm a bit nervous about Snape being your husband, but I understand why it has to happen. Blimey, Hermione. You'll be Mrs. Snape! That's mad! But you're going to need your friends even more than ever. I assume the boys didn't take this so well?"
Hermione shook her head. "Not nearly. Everything's been really awkward with them. They have no idea how to act around me any more."
"They'll come around, Hermione. I know they will." Ginny flashed a smile of encouragement.
What on earth would she do without Ginny? As much as Hermione loved Harry and Ron, she had to admit that sometimes they could be bloody prats. Ginny kept her sane.
"So when are you buying your dress robes?" Ginny asked with a grin.
Hermione froze. "To be honest, I hadn't even thought about it. I mean, this isn't a real wedding. I can probably just transfigure something."
Ginny shot her a look of indignation. "I should jolly well think not! This might not seem real, Hermione, but what if this is your only wedding? We're going to do this right. And that means a trip to Diagon Alley!"
Hermione groaned. Going dress shopping was almost as bad as flying on a broom, to her.
By the time Minerva McGonagall reached the Headmaster's office, it was nearly ten o'clock. She had been busy patrolling the halls when one of the portraits informed her that the Headmaster wished to speak with her. On her way, however, she'd had to deal with two Ravenclaw seventh-years attempting to sneak out of the castle for a nighttime tryst.
As she entered the office, she could see that Albus looked just as exhausted as she felt. To her surprise, she saw that Severus Snape stood by the fireplace, staring into the flames. When she entered, he turned and acknowledged her with a nod.
"Good evening Severus, Albus." She approached the Headmaster's desk, taking a seat. "Right, Albus. What's this about?"
"Thank you for stopping by, Minerva. I have news that I believe you will find… difficult to hear. Please believe me when I tell you that were there any other option, I would not have taken this path."
And with that, he told her all that was happening with Hermione Granger and his absurd plan to "keep her safe."
By the end of his explanation, Minerva was furious. "She is a child!" she hissed at Severus.
Severus cleared his throat. "I am well aware of that, Minerva."
"She is a young woman, and fully capable of making her own decisions," Dumbledore reminded them gently.
"You are quite sure that this is the only solution?" asked Minerva.
The Headmaster nodded gravely. "I am."
She turned to Severus. "You will be kind to her, or by Circe, I will not hesitate to hex you to the bottom of the Black Lake. Do not torture that poor girl."
"Minerva, we both know Severus to be an honorable man. I am certain he will treat Miss Granger with great respect."
Severus inclined his head gravely.
Albus continued, "As you know, you must give your permission as Miss Granger's Head of House for this marriage to be valid."
She sighed heavily. As much as she hated the situation, she understood Albus' reasoning. After all, was there any better solution? With great reluctance, she nodded stiffly. "I will give my permission. Let me know when to appear for the ceremony."
She stood. "If you'll excuse me, I need some time to absorb this."
Albus smiled weakly. She could see the relief in his eyes. "Of course, Minerva. Thank you for your support."
Before exiting, she stopped, turning to face the two men. "Dinnae think I am done with you. I'll have words with both of you later." In her anger, she could hear her Scottish accent become more pronounced.
She would have much to think about that night.
After class on Friday, Hermione left her friends to make her way to the library. Passing by the Transfiguration classroom, however, she ran across Professor McGonagall. "Good afternoon, Professor," she murmured, trying to pass quickly.
"Miss Granger, may I have a word with you in my office, please?"
Hermione stopped short, confused. In response to her expression, Professor McGonagall hurried to assure her that she was in no kind of trouble.
Once inside, McGonagall offered her a chair and some tea, which Hermione accepted. "Professor Dumbledore explained your… situation to me. I must know, though, how are you holding up? I know this must be a great deal for you to handle."
Hermione stared into her teacup. "Thank you for your concern, Professor McGonagall. It's all a bit overwhelming, but I think I've come around now."
McGonagall tool a sip of tea. "Professor Snape may be cold and stern, but he is a good man. I hope that you know that. He will not be kind, though, and I feel deeply sorry for that. It will not be easy to be married to such a man. But Hermione, I must tell you that of any student in Hogwarts, I feel that you are the most capable of handling this, and of handling him."
"I'm grateful for your confidence, Professor."
There was an awkward pause, and Hermione was at a loss for what to say.
Professor McGonagall broke the silence. "Are you afraid, Hermione?"
"Yes," Hermione answered honestly. "I'm terrified."
"You seem so very calm, lass. It's not healthy to bottle up your emotions. Anyone in your situation would be feeling overwhelmed and terrified. It's only natural, Hermione."
She took another sip of tea, trying to delay her response. "I'm trying not to think ahead too much. I've found it's much easier for me to live a day at a time. I still have so many questions, and I feel so unprepared for this."
"Hermione, there's no need to be in perfect control all of the time. If you're fearful for the future, you need to work through it now. Otherwise, you won't be able to hold it together a month from now."
Hermione nodded. "I understand, Professor McGonagall. Thank you."
The older woman sighed. "Please know that you can come talk with me any time, Hermione."
A/N: Please review! It makes me so happy :)
Hopefully the next chapter will be finished soon.
P.S. * up the duff is British slang for pregnant.