I don't own Bioware. I do, however, own Bethesda. We're planning on making our own knockoff of Mass Effect. It's going to be way better, too, because our dev team is composed of legends. The guy behind The Elder Scrolls, part of the Black Isle team, the guy who did The Old Republic, and, uh, we're going to hire other guys from other studios too. And, of course, we've got John Carmack. That guy basically invented the first person shooter.

Wait, we don't have John Carmack anymore? He works for Facebook now? Damn it! Okay, plan B, guys! Get the gasoline! Burn it! Burn it all!

6: Instigating Saren 2: Electric Boogaloo
Shepard

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Commander?" Williams asked as the elevator descended back toward the Presidium ring.

"Not really," I replied, shrugging. "But I'd love to see the look on that smug bastard Udina's face after I drain his expense account."

"That's not what I was talking about, Commander. I was thinking about those civvies you sent after Harkin."

"They'll be fine," I replied. "Besides, if they get into trouble, they can always just call C-Sec."

"I still don't think it's a good idea."

"Your objection is noted, Chief," I snap. Okay, Jane, that was a bit mean. "Look, for now, this keeps them busy, maybe even useful, and out of our way."

"Commander, why are you letting them help us at all?" Alenko asked. Fine, take her side. "I mean, no disrespect, but they're nobodies."

That's a good question. So far, the secret was between myself, Melia, and Captain Anderson. Not that it's a very good answer. "It's classified."

Williams objected, "Classified... don't tell me they're spooks!"

Go ahead and think that, Williams. I stepped out of the elevator and repeated, "It's classified."

I led my team over to the nearest public shuttle, entered the Financial District as the destination, and we crawled inside.

Thirty seconds later, the shuttle landed and we crawled out. We walked the five or so steps to Barla von Volus's office. The door opened and we stepped inside.

"Excuse me, are you Barla von Volus?" I asked the short fat volus behind the desk.

"My name is Barla Von and I am a Volus," the volus replied between breaths. "What can I do for you, Earth-clan?"

"We're looking for some dirt on Saren, Mister von Volus," I replied smoothly.

"That is not my name," he spat.

"I'm sorry, what is your name then?"

"It is just Barla Von."

"That's missing a name," I point out.

Williams backed me up. "I agree with the Commander."

So did Alenko. "Honestly, it just seems like something is missing."

"Why does everyone seem to think that my name is incomplete?"

I wave my hand dismissively. "You know what, nevermind. I have a credit chit linked to Ambassador Udina's expense account. We're willing to pay whatever is necessary for a suitable lead."

"You're very blunt, Shepard," von Volus replied, suddenly falling back to the actual script. "But you're right. I am an agent for the Shadow Broker. And I do know something about Saren."

I decided to do the same. "I hear your information can be expensive."

"Normally, this information would cost a small fortune." Uh oh. I don't like where this is going. Maybe I can order Williams to do it? "But these are exceptional circumstances, so I am going to give it to you for free."

"What's the catch?" Williams asked.

"There is no catch," von Volus assured us. "The Shadow Broker is quite upset with Saren right now. They used to do a lot of business until Saren turned on him."

I replied sarcastically, "Saren betrayed him. Imagine that."

"No matter what you think of Saren, he's not stupid. He knows the Shadow Broker is a valuable ally. Turning on him doesn't make sense. Not unless something huge was at stake. I don't know the details, but the Shadow Broker hired a freelancer to deal with it. A krogan mercenary."

"How do I find him?"

"I heard he was paying Citadel Security a visit. If you hurry you can probably catch him before he leaves the C-Sec Academy."

"I should go," I replied, ending the conversation.

"Goodbye, Commander," von Volus said in a somewhat creepy voice as we left the office.

"So, we didn't need to use Udina's credit chit-"

"Which you stole," Alenko interrupted.

"I borrowed it," I corrected him. "For mission-critical purposes."

"Then you can return it now, since we don't need it anymore."

I stopped and glared at him. "Alenko, who's the Commander here?"

"You are, ma'am."

"Exactly," I replied. "Now I've got fifty thousand creds burning a hole in my pocket. Do you know what that means."

"Shopping?" Williams suggested.

I shifted my glare to her. "No."

"This one or this one? What do you think, Chief?" I hold up the two sets or armour, one in each hand. "White with bubblegum pink accents or charcoal grey and blue?"

"What happened to not going shopping?" Williams asked, arching an eyebrow.

"This isn't shopping," I replied, putting down the suits, which were starting to get heavy. "This is resupplying."

She shrugged. "I think you should get the camouflage one."

"That's the one I wanted, but they only have these two sets," I replied, sharing her disappointment. I tossed her a datapad. "The catalogue is tiny."

She took one look and frowned before handing it back. "That's the weekly flyer."

I looked at it. Huh. "Well that explains a lot. I figured you'd be able to buy more than two different kinds of armour in the capital of the galaxy."

I waved at the hanar merchant. "Hey, Delan! Three sets of Scorpion armour, human, one light, one medium, one heavy."

After waiting an hour in the elevator, we finally arrived at C-Sec Academy. As soon as the doors opened, we practically ran out of the elevator.

Why is it called the "Academy" when it seems like just another police station? Is it like a teaching hospital but for cops or does the word have some other meaning I'm not aware of?

There's only one Krogan around, in the corner of the room. There are two fully armoured turian C-Sec officers carrying assault rifles guarding him, and one human officer talking to him.

"Witnesses saw you making threats in Fist's bar," the human officer began, carefully avoiding the krogan's gaze. "Stay away from him."

"I don't take orders from you," the krogan replied in a deep, powerful voice.

"This is your only warning, Wrex!"

Oh, so that's Wrex! I imagined him being less old and scarred. I waved and shouted, "Hey, Wrex!"

"Go on, get out of here!" the C-Sec officer warned as Wrex ambled toward us. Wait, was he talking to us or Wrex?

"Yes, human?" Wrex asked, standing right in front of me. Krogan are big. Really big. He stood a big krogan head over me and probably weighed ten times I did.

I cut to the chase. "I'm trying to bring down Saren. von Volus said to talk to you."

"von Volus is a wise man... uh, volus," Wrex replied. Then he muttered something about a common goal.

"What common goal would that be?"

"I've been hired to kill the owner of Chora's Den, a man named Fist," Wrex explained. "He did something very foolish."

"He betrayed the Shadow Broker," I said.

"No. He put the roll of toilet paper in backwards."

"I'm actually not sure if you're serious or not."

"Does it matter?"

Wrex shrugged. I could feel the floor shake when he did that. "I suppose not. Anyway, a quarian showed up on the Citadel. She was on the run. She wanted to trade information for a safe place to hide, so she went to Fist."

"Well, that was stupid," Williams commented from behind us. "I mean, his name is Fist. That just screams trustworthy right there."

Wrex ignored her and continued. "He promised to arrange a meeting between her and the Shadow Broker. Instead, he contacted Saren."

"What does Saren have to do with it?"

"Well, the quarian has something that connects Saren to the geth. He paid Fist a small fortune for her."

"If we get our hands on that evidence, we can prove that Saren's a traitor," Alenko added audaciously. "The Council will have to listen!"

"Alenko, shut up," I snapped, glaring at him.

"Yes, ma'am."

I turned back to Wrex. "Where's the quarian now?"

"Last I heard, Fist still had her, probably somewhere inside his club," he explained. "You help me kill Fist, she's all yours."

"All right, let's go."

"Commander, is it really acceptable to help a mercenary kill a man?"

"Alenko, shut up!" I snapped again. "Don't make me duct tape your mouth shut!"

"Why do you keep telling me to shut up?" he whimpered.

"Because you're irritating, Alenko. Learn to make better comments and stop being such a goody two-shoes."

"So, do we have a deal?" Wrex rumbled.

I took his massive hand in my comparatively tiny one. "Yeah. You've got it."

"Commander Shepard!" a turian voice called as we walked through the wards.

I turned to the source of the sound. "Officer Vakarian."

"Looks like we didn't have to look for him. He found us."

"Thanks for stating the blatantly obvious, Williams," I said sarcastically.

"Anytime, Commander," she replied, matching my tone.

"What are you looking for, Officer Vakarian?" I asked the turian C-Sec officer. "I'm in a bit of a rush, so I'd prefer if you kept it quick."

"I have a potential lead on Saren," he replied. "And please, Garrus is fine."

"It's a quarian, isn't it?" Wrex rumbled from behind us. "Betrayed by Fist."

"That's right," Garrus confirmed, a bit suspicious.

He added, "I wouldn't have even thought to bring it to you if it weren't for a group of humans that walked in on me. They had pretty good timing, too. Gave me a distraction and a clear shot."

Did those idiots actually manage to get somewhere? "This group of humans. Was it an ex-military guy, a male British student, a male American student with glasses, and a clumsy young lady in ill-fitting armour?"

"Come to think of it, yes." After a pause, Garrus added, "Wait, they were working for you?"

"More or less," I replied quickly. Mostly less.

"You don't think they were stupid enough to try anything, do you?"

I pondered it briefly before replying, "No. They would have called instead."

"They said they didn't have omni-tools or translators," Garrus said, still worried.

"I'm sure they could figure out a public terminal," I dismissed. "Join the team, Garrus. This is your investigation, after all."

"Sure, I-" A single gunshot, followed by three louder ones and a barrage of gunfire interrupted him. The sounds seemed to be coming from... exactly where we needed to be going.

"Chora's Den, double time, now!" I ordered, breaking into a sprint. I slammed my palm into the holographic door control, and the door slid open.

Not fast enough for Wrex, who bowled through the opening door, smashing it to pieces. The rest of us were right behind him.

It was reasonably peaceful outside Chora's Den, except for the sounds of battle and the armed men visible through the open door. Sandra and the kid with the glasses were huddled together against the wall to the left of the door frame. I assumed that the other two were inside, probably having holes shot in them.

As I grabbed my rifle, I muttered, "You have got to be fucking kidding me."