Guo Jia continues to lay in the sand with the moon's light hitting his face. "Nrrgh... I... need...wine... not... this... sweet water... thing... I need something to dull the pain..." Sima Yi looks at him,"You're an alcoholic."

"No, I'm not! I just enjoy the wine's buzz a lot."

"Mm-hm."

"What can I do for entertainment? Nrragh... Can I see your hat?"

"No."

"Come on, you actually sleep with it on? Do you have sex with it on? Do you take baths with it on?"

"No, that is stupid."

"Not as stupid as wearing it the entire time we are sitting on this island."

"Touche. But I'm not giving it to you."

"Fine... What else can I do?"

"Just occupy yourself with something."

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not whining like you."

"Touche. But seriously, we're both supposed to sit here until our deaths?"

Five days later

The two were lying on the ground groaning as the sun shines blindingly at their faces.

"...I lost track of what day it is today..."

"...I forgot how to tell time... We spent who knows how many days just sitting here..."

"I can't believe I spent all that time sitting here... Let me make a sundial..." Sima Yi crawls out to take a stick and stabs it into the sand. The shadow points away from him.

"I forgot what this even means..."

"It's so hooooootttt... I'm going for a swim..." Guo Jia crawls to the tide and gives up in exhaustion. The tide hits him and it takes him back and forth.

"...Nrrgh... I've never felt so unmotivated since... Since... er... I can't even remember..." Sima Yi gets on his hands and knees and crawls over to him. "There's something..."

"What...?" A figure appears under Guo Jia. Sima Yi grabs Guo Jia's leg and pulls him away from the water. A shark jumps out of the water to snap at Guo Jia, but it lands onto the shore and it flails wildly.

"AAAAAAAH! Get your ass moving!" Sima Yi drags Guo Jia as he runs as far away as possible from the shark. The shark snaps its jaws wildly and continues to flail.

"Why am I carrying you?!" Sima Yi swings Guo Jia around to fling him onto a tree, making him hit his back directly.

"NAGH! Koff..." He rubs his back and stands up. "OW! Don't throw people!"

"There is some large man-eating fish flailing about and I am not being weighted down by you!" Guo Jia sees the shark and backs away quickly.

"Whoa... meat..." He drools at the shark.

"I'm not sure that thing is even edible! Look at it! It doesn't exactly say "delicious" on it!" The shark continues to flail and Sima Yi backs away even more.

"Who cares? It's seafood..."

"Just wait until this thing dies. It looks like it can snap the moment you get within ten inches of it."

"Use your boner sword to cut it up then!"

"I can't be thinking of vulgar thoughts at a time like this! What I'm thinking right now is,"Is that thing going to fly over here and bite my head off?" and certainly not, "Gee, I would love to see my wife's breasts right now"!"

"I certainly want to."

"And you will not! Just... let that thing run out of oxygen and die." The two walk farther away from the shark and stand to watch the shark slowly die. Guo Jia comments,"I always wanted try Japanese cuisine, but this is close enough."

"Are you considering to eat that raw?"

"Maybe. Can you get a fire going?"

"...Er..."

"What?"

"I only make ice..."

"Do your weapons have a fire skill or something?" He stands there and has a light bulb blink above him. He grabs the light bulb and breaks the glass to reveal the hot wiring.

"Hurry! Get some wood!"

"...That was an option?" asked Sima Yi asked as he walked to get pieces of wood and random sticks. The electricity from the light bulb set the pieces on fire and were set on the ground.

"This fire is a few meters farther than our site."

"...Can you just magically lift the fire up and take it over there?"

"...I... er... well... yes..."

"Then it's alright."

"How did that thing on your head get lit up anyway?"

"The intelligence I have in my lovely head lights it up!"

"Right..."

"You know what? Get your boner sword and fillet that giant fish. Kmph... That sounds wrong and funny..."

"I... er... Can you just hit it with your scepter?"

"It can't hurt unless you jam it up the big fish's ass."

"Just at least stab it! Or use the wheeled halberd."

"That will create a mess and ruin the meat! Use the boner sword. Kmph..."

"I don't want to."

"Do it!"

"I'll be in a creepy state for a while..."

"Don't care."

"Are you sure you want to go through this again?"

"Yes!"

"Huu..." Sima Yi takes out his whip. He stands there for a full minute with nothing happening.

"Hurry up. Think of Zhen Ji's boobs or something."

"They're fake. I can tell from a mile away."

"Just shut up and think of something sexy."

"..." Drool is seen flowing out of Sima Yi's mouth. The whip stands upright and it glows.

"Go and cut up that fish!" Sima Yi stands still and drool continues to pool out of his mouth.

"Damn, he probably have has a really dirty mind or has seen many things that even I don't know. Um... Hello?" Guo Jia waves his hand in front of Sima Yi's face. His eyes remain dull and still. Drool drips onto Guo Jia's hand.

"Ew, ew, EW!" He wipes his hand on Sima Yi's robes. "God, what is he thinking?!" A thought bubble appears over Sima Yi and Guo Jia quickly swats it away.

"No, no! I didn't actually want to know!" The bubble appears again and Guo Jia swats it away again. "Go away! Unless you plan to show me a boob!" The bubble appears yet again and he sees what for you is censored with a bar.

"Oooh, oh! Nice! Show me more!" The bubble shows two figures and Guo Jia swats the bubble quickly. "Okay, we're done! Can you cut the fish we need to survive on?" Sima Yi groans like a zombie and walks towards the shark.

"Okay... He might ruin it worse than what the halberd can do..." Sima Yi walks wobbly and when he got closer to the shark, it comes alive and snaps at Sima Yi. It goes limp after Sima Yi sliced off the head while in his state.

"Nnrgh... I would totally let you-"

"OKAY! You can rid of your... thoughts... now!" Sima Yi lazily puts away the whip and he shakes his head. He hits his head a few times.

"Nah! Argh... what happened?"

"You cut off the big fish's head while you're in your creepy mode."

"Oh... Wait, I could have died! I'm pretty sure I felt a fishy breath on my face!"

"But now we have this giant piece of meat. And what were you thinking about?"

"Things I would want a certain someone to do to me, but that person won't do it because she has "morals". Ha, morals. Says the person who killed a maid. Hahaha... she has morals... Hahaha! Zhang Chunhua having morals! Hahaha!"

"Okay... Oh... you didn't fillet it..."

"...Ugh.. no... I am not doing it again... Hm?" Sima Yi looks at the shark's head open mouth. "This fish has pointed teeth. You can make a knife out of these and cut into the meat."

"Ugh... You mean reach into that and-"

"Yes."

"Oh, God..."

Three minutes later

"I was mistaken. Surprisingly, these teeth came off like Zhou Yu's manhood."

"That was actually amusing."

"Thank you."

"If you wanted meat in the first place, the dead bear over there could have sufficed."

"Oh! The bear! I should go and try that too!" Guo Jia runs over and drags the bear corpse near the fire. He takes out his scepter and stabs pieces of meat onto it to cook over the fire.

"At least this will keep us alive for at least a week if we don't overeat it."

"Or some other person that washed up on here will come over and make us share the food with him or her."

"Who else would be stranded on this island besides us?"

"Who knows?" Rustling noises are heard in the jungle. Guo Jia stands up quickly. "Please a cat. Please a cat. I cannot take more big animal surprises. Oh, please something that is small enough to jump on my face at least!"

"I don't hear growling."

"It might be a giant man-eating turtle."

"That's ridiculous." The leaves part as hands push on them. A man with a long goatee and moustache pants as he sees the two.

"Wait, I know this man."

"Who is it?"

"It's the man who shot me off the ship!"

"Name, please."

"You have some nerve coming here, Zhuge Liang!"

"Oh, this is the oh-so-great Zhuge Liang I've been hearing about? He looks pathetic right now." Zhuge Liang catches his breath and gets out words, "Nrrgh... huff... I know my actions... but right now I need some help."

"You're the reason why we're on this island in the first place!"

"Yes... It seems karma has gotten the best of me..." Guo Jia grabs him and shakes him by the shoulders. "Do you expect us to suddenly help you after YOU shooting us off the boat?! You even shot Jia Xu and Xun Yu and they might be dead because of you!"

"Let me explain-Aaaaah!" Guo Jia continues to shake him. "St-op! You-are making... me-... dizzy!"

"Let him explain. I'll have a good reason to drown him after he is done." Guo Jia stops shaking Zhuge Liang and he wobbles around.

"Excuse me... BLARGH" He pukes and Guo Jia backs away quickly. "...Ugh... I did not have a good trip coming here..."

"Spill it."

"Okay... It was after we shot you two off the ship..."

*Flashbaaaack*

Zhou Yu and Lu Su rid horses side by side to each other with soldiers behind them. Zhuge Liang was behind the soldiers with Liu Bei. Lu Su whispered to Zhou Yu,"Now what?"

"Initiate Falling Dragon."

"Right." Lu Su whispers to Gan Ning and Ling Tong below him, "Initiate Falling Dragon."

"Okay!" The two run back to where the Shu army was and they walked besides Zhuge Liang and Liu Bei.

"Why didn't you just shoot Cao Cao with that weapon?"

"I just got rid of his strategists since he is useless without them. He will be an easy victory after this."

"But this is hypothetical-"

"Oh, we don't need to follow those rules. Especially Wei's."

"Okay." Gan Ning punches Ling Tong and he punches back. They create a cartoon fighting cloud thing and that knocks Zhuge Liang off the cliff and he grabs onto a branch.

"Aah!" Han Dang yells out, "Nrragh! Those two nimrods can't keep it in, can they?"

Ling Tong whispers, "Crap. Hit him off." Gan Ning swings his flail around clumsily. "Whoops! I can't control myself! Oh no! It's falling!" He drops the flail on purpose onto Zhuge Liang and it loops onto his leg, dragging him down. He loses his grip on the branch and fall due to the heavy weight on his leg.

"Aaaaah!" He turns his head just in time to see Zhou Yu giving him an evil grin. "Bye, Falling Dragon..." He waves at him tauntingly.

"Oh, are you f*bleep*ing kidding meeeee?!" He hits the water with a splash. Liu Bei looks over the edge. "Hey! Can someone get over here and save him!"

"I will!" Zhao Yun jumps off of his horse and dives into the water. Liu Bei looks blankly and sees that there was no movement in the water.

"I lost two of my best generals to the murderous sea! We must take the war to the water!" Sun Quan looks over to Zhou Yu, "This turned out better than I thought."

"Yes, indeed... And my stress is gone! Yes! I'm going to live to see my forties!" Gan Ning taps his foot.

"Hm?"

"You owe me a new flail."

"Yes, yes, expect your pay to be a little higher than usual."

*End*

Guo Jia looks over to Sima Yi. "Are you thinking what I am thinking?"

"Yes. Let's drown him." They go towards Zhuge Liang and he backs away yelling, "Wait, wait! Just... nrrgh... I know I wronged you."

"Yes, you did."

"But that doesn't mean to be complete animals."

"That the best you can do?"

"...Yes..."

"Okay, let's drown him."

"Wait, wait! I can help you."

"Yes, that's interesting."

"Shame you are not female."

"That's not supposed to be your priority right now!"

"I can call up winds."

"Bulls*bleep*"

"Fine, that was just a coincidence that the wind blew in the southeast."

"I'm not hearing anything... You have ten seconds before you are becoming the Sleeping "With the Fishes" Dragon."

"I am starting to dislike this man even though I just met him."

"That is Sima Yi's specialty. He makes you hate him before he can hate you."

"Anyway, I can create lighting. Want fire? I can light a piece of wood to set it on fire."

"We already have one."

"If it goes out, I'll light up again."

"Hm... What else?"

"I have nothing else."

"Then you can be the person that confronts an unknown creature."

"Huh?!"

"Oh, do I hear "forget it, drown me"?"

"Oh, fine! I also need to find Zhao Yun, he jumped down to try and save me."

"When you find him, I'm sure he'll be a good bait."

"Yes... I want some more of that man-eating fish."

"Hey!"

Nightfall

The three sat next to each other with the fire in front of them.

"You can read stars, tell us a story."

"I can't... These stars are unlike I've seen back home. The moon is rather close at this time."

"Yes, indeed."

"Ah, at times like this, I wish I had a bottle of wine. This would have been perfecting drinking conditions."

"Just drink some of that hairy fruit water."

"Fine." Guo Jia gets a coconut and pokes a hole into the soft area of it. "I found a loophole to this thing. There are three holes on this and I can poke them to get the liquid in it." Sima Yi comments sarcastically, "Good for you."

"I wish I had some paper to record this sky."

"The Heavens are at its best, it seems. Yet we are in tattered clothing and eating animals I don't think were supposed to be eaten by humans."

"But that giant fish was tasty."

"...I know."

"You two could have offered me a piece of actual meat!"

"What do we do with the fins?" Guo Jia points to the fins leftover from the shark.

"Cook it into a soup."

The view zooms out to reveal an old man sitting in a chair in front of a TV turning towards you while holding a smoke pipe.

"And that's how shark fin soup was invented."

It returns back to the three sitting. They continue to look up into the sky.

"I guess stargazing the only entertainment we have." A whale jumps out of the sea and the three look at it in slow motion.

"Whoa."

"That looks like..."

"Breakfast." Sima Yi and Guo Jia look at Zhuge Liang weirdly, "Huh...?"

"What? I am still hungry after you just gave me the brain and intestines of those animals!"

"You still needed to pay for putting us here in the first place."

"Okay, maybe I did deserve it..."

"Yes, you did-" The whale falls down back into the sea with the splash hitting the three along with putting out the fire. They sit there spitting water and wiping away the water from their faces.

No, shark fin soup wasn't invented by them. That was about 700 years later.