The four sit in a table playing mahjong. Guo Jia say out, "We've played about fifty games of mahjong... Do any of you have anything else besides that?" Jia Xu shushes him.

"Not now!" (I have a good hand!)

"Augh... Xun Yu is going to win again anyway."

Fifteen minutes later

Xun Yu looks in shock at his hand of tiles and then Sima Yi's hand.

How is this possible?! (I had every good tile!)

"I broke your winning streak, did I?" (You're not the only one who can cheat.)

"Sima Yi won. Great, can we do something else? Oh, I Spy!"

"No."

"Cards?"

"I don't have any."

"There's nothing but ocean out here. I can't sightsee around here. There are no more of those men after you, right?"

"...Uh... Well... Look, we can defend ourselves."

"But what can we do to pass the possibly two-month journey?"

"Huaaa... I'm afraid you have to just deal with it."

"Have any more alcohol...?"

"Yep."

An hour later

Guo Jia slurs while lying in a pile of bottles.

"You know what? You hwat...? I... ugh... I... love... cookies."

"Cookies...? Mmh... I want some..." Sima Yi looks at the two.

"...You two are alcoholics."

"I can stop anytime I want!"

"Yeeeeah..."

"Mm-hm."

"You should drink toooo! It's so fuuuun..."

"...No, thank you."

"Cooome on... It tastes like coooookies!"

"I know alcohol doesn't taste like cookies."

"Fine! Xun Yu?"

I can't drink. Low tolerance.

"Then make it high tolerance!"

"I have noticed. What happened to the stubble you had on your face?"

"What stubble...?"

"Back on the island, you had hair growing near around your face."

"Yeeeah... I wasn't properly nutritioned, but now I am!"

"Drinking gives you nutrients? Alcoholic."

"No, I'm not!"

At Wei, Guo Huai asks Zhang He, "Don't you think it is odd on how Sima Yi is stationed out of the country, but doesn't send a report?"

"I'm surprised he is stationed that far away from home."

"Also Guo Jia. He was stationed outside of the country also. I'm surprised Cao Cao would just send him away like that after he just made a full recovery."

"I heard the same thing with Jia Xu and Xun Yu."

"Why is he sending the strategists all over away from the capital? This is not good if Shu and Wu hear of this."

"What about Xu Shu?"

"Who?"

"Auuugh! You're so mean!" Xu Shu pops out from a random bush and runs sobbing. Guo Huai looks around confused. "...What did I do...?"

"I'm just wondering, where is Sima Yi's home?"

"Why?"

"I bet his wife is worried sick! I can comfort her."

"...I can tell you this... She is not worried. Not. One. Bit."

"Why?"

"She is not like that. Compared to my wife, she is made of stone."

"Then I'll help her with work!"

"What about here?"

"Cao Cao said there will be rest and training."

"Okay... Good luck with... her..."

"You met her?"

"A couple of times. She's... hehehe... scary. That day I'm pretty sure she scared away my tuberculosis."

"That's good. Right?"

"Yes, but it came back."

"Aw..."

"Why do you want to help Sima Yi's wife again?"

"Her name has Zhang in it! I'm always happy to help out a fellow Zhang. She could be my sister-"

"No. No way. Absolutely. No. Way. Maybe Zhang Liao's, but not you." Zhang Liao walks by them, "Again, I don't have a sister."

"You two could be separated at birth!"

"Still not my sister. But I would like for her to tell me how to keep a soft face while at the same time be frightening."

"Shouldn't Zhang He teach you?"

"I don't want to dance."

"Oh, that seems right."

On the ship, the four sit in chairs staring off at pieces of land.

"That island has a giant mountain on top."

"I see some familiar figures over there..." The ship floats by the land piece and a man is waving at them.

"Hi, Jia Xu! Remember me? We were buddies in Warriors Orochi 3!"

"Oh, Motonari Mori. I just remembered his name. He looks older than the last time I saw him."

"That's because I have a kid now! Want to meet him?"

"Well... we're floating back home..."

"Ah, you'll see when Samurai Warriors 4 comes out!"

"Yay... Is that guy even supposed to be alive right now?"

"Whoops!" Motonari lies on his back and plays dead. "Wake me up when it's 1497."

"Suure... Bye." The ship moves away from that island and the ship faces towards a large piece of land.

"I see the Wall from here."

"Yes! We're finally coming back! And we're going towards Wu, might as well give that Zhou Yu a present."

"I'm pretty sure Zhuge Liang returning will kill him anyway."

Zhao Yun was running on land towards the palace at Shu.

"Huff... huff... I'm sure you can walk on your own-" He turns to see Zhuge Liang sleeping on his back. "...Okay..." When he got to the palace, Liu Bei runs crying and hugs Zhao Yun in a sobbing mess of a hug that made Zhuge Liang fall off.

"I had to lead five campaigns on the ocean, but they will not give you up! I glad they finally saw reason."

"I brought back Zhuge Liang."

"Excellent! Come on, Zhuge Liang..." Zhuge Liang groans and continues to sleep on the ground. He hugs the coconut with a face craved into it.

"Um... wake up.. You're home." Zhuge Liang gets up. Liu Bei sniffs him and recoils. "...Uh... You need to use the palace bath?"

"Mm..."

"It seems he needs a bath and a scroll. Get him a scroll!"

An hour later

Zhuge Liang is in proper robes and is shining. "Ah, I'm back to my normal self." Liu Bei looks at the coconut with a face. "Ooh, what's this? A new kind of fruit? Or vegetable? Or nut?"

"That's Weisun."

"You mean Wilson?"

"It's Weisun!"

Back on the ship, the four wait for the ship get closer to the land in front of them.

"We managed to get here without trouble. That's surprising."

"Well, we can go back to our normal lives."

"And no more of those guys will go after us! Now I just need to trim my beard a little so they won't recognize me." Suddenly, a blast hits the ship and it starts to tip.

"What?!" They see from afar Zhou Yu with a rocket launcher. "You are not coming back." Guo Jia yells out at him, "Guess what? Zhuge Liang managed to go back to Shu!"

"What...? Then getting rid of you four is a much bigger priority!" He has more peons come up with rocket launchers. They all shoot at the ship and it creates many holes in the ship. It slowly sinks and the four look around in panic.

"Oh, no! Not again!"

"Oh crap... Let me be stranded with Xun Yu this time and not Guo Jia. At least he's quiet."

"Hey! Is there anything that can be used to float us out?"

"...Er... Wait, there is that little boat-" A rocket hits the small boat off the ship. "...Or not." More rockets hit the ship, making many holes in it and causing it to sink faster.

"We are only a few miles away from the nearest piece of land! Let's all jump and swim!"

I can't swim... Not yet anyway...

"Okay, Sima Yi, you're holding him."

"Why?!"

"Your back is the most healthy since you're the youngest here!"

"...Nrrgh..." Sima Yi reluctantly has Xun Yu ride on his back as they jump down into the water. They swim towards the land nearest to them and held onto the earth under them.

"Augh! There... Get off of me now." Xun Yu quickly gets off of his back. "Oh great... A new "shipping" has appeared... Just what I needed..."

"Oh... I forgot to tell you, if you touch Sima Yi, a new ship of you will appear for him."

I've been seeing suggestive pictures of you and I rather then Sima Yi.

"...Yes... Those... er... Heh. Just forget about those. Now... which way is Luoyang?"

"Maybe just go ahead until you see the palace while avoiding bandits."

"Steal a horse?"

"No committing crimes!"

"Fine, I have gold, I can pay for a horse. Or carriage."

"It is just beach here. Maybe walking a few miles will get us in a city."

"I don't think anyone would give us service looking like this... And..." Guo Jia sniffs himself. "We smell of fish and bad meat."