Pewd's P.O.V

*Dream*

I woke up in my room like always and looked around. I saw no one, felt no presence of anyone. I stood up and went to the living room. Again I saw no one. I started the day like any other day; I went to the shower to well, take a shower. I removed my clothes and let the water hit me, waking me up. I quickly finished and hung a towel loosely around my waist. As I walked to my bedroom I spied at the window across the hall; it was snowing.

"Mind as well spend the day outside I guess…" I mumbled to myself.

I went to my room and changed my clothes. I wore some long sleeved shirts and a leather jacket over it all, Black skinny jeans, and my black converses. I went downstairs and grabbed my scarf, tying it around my neck.

Grabbing the keys on the table, I opened the door. Snow was everywhere. A blanket of white covering everything. I saw nothing, except snow. I stood there on the porch; unable to move then something appeared from the whiteness. A poker face masked came into sight.

"Cry? Is that you?" I cried out. No reply. The mask came closer and closer revealing Cry wearing a black jacket and jeans.

"Cry!" I shouted with glee. "I knew you'd come back!" I jumped.

Cry didn't move, he only stood there in front of me.

He leaned over for a kiss. I came closer; knowing what he wanted to do suddenly a sharp pain hit me straight into the heart. The smell of rust with a red color. Blood. Cry, has stabbed me in the heart with a hidden blade under his jacket.

Blood ran out of the wound that Cry made, it did not stop. The pain, It did not stop…

"Why Cry?" I asked my voice weakening. "Why did you do this?"

I heard Cry giggle, slowly become louder and louder until he was screaming his laughs.

"You want to know why Pewdie?" Pausing a bit between laughs. "Well I'll tell you then."

Just before he opened my mouth he kicked me, making me fall to the ground; my blood dyed the floor. After that he knead down beside me, the knife positioned above my throat. "This is why!"

The blade hit my throat…

I woke up in a gasp, putting on hand to my neck and another to my heart. The pain of the imaginary dagger stung as if the wound is still there.

Dreams, why do they affect us? They are only little shows made by our mind but why do we feel the pain that happened in it?

I shook my head, trying to forget what happened in the dream.

It has been two weeks since me and Cry broke up and I hate the feeling of waking up in the morning, not finding a sleeping Cry next to me. I constantly have nightmares, all of them involving Cry killing me in one way or another. It was horrible living in this life but I believed her words.

Her words became my standing post for the past few days and still up to now. Marzia, my childhood friend from Italy, The one that helped me through things to many to count.

I had woken up the same way today; my eyes already red and various pains ache around my body. Soon enough I learned to ignore it and try my best to live life, without him; momentarily.

I glanced at the digital clock beside me, 6:12am. Still a bit too early for me but meh. The earlier the better. I stood up, popping some of my bones in the process. I went straight for the shower. I striped my clothes and stood under the water, letting the droplets run everywhere.

"Please come back Cry…" I begged.

I finished my shower and went to change to my work clothes and by work clothes I just wore a simple tee and my skinnies and my black converses. Walking downstairs, I saw the calendar hanging on the wall. December 15. A few more days before Christmas. I grabbed my carkeys and went to work.

-After work-

I was walking towards the exit until somebody tucked my sleeve. Turning around due to pure curiosity I saw Marzia; a smile plastered on her face like always. I have never seen Marzia without a smile and I find it nice, The aura she gives off will make you smile or at least feel better.

"Hi Felix!" Marzia greeted, letting go of my sleeve. "What are you doing today?"

"Nothing much…" I mumbled out. "Whatsup Marzia?"

She flashed a grin, revealing her perfectly white teeth, "Whanna go to the café today?" She said afterwards. "I have been seeing you pretty down lately and I wanted to cheer you up."

Is it just me or did she sound pretty sad just now?

I shrug the thought off.

"Yeah Marzia, that'll be nice." I replied sending her a smile. "So what time should we meet there?"

"How about we go there now?" She suggested. "We can take your car if that's alright."

"Ok, let's go then." Heading towards the door, Marzia on my side.

I gave a glance, "she looked sad. What happened to her?" I told myself. "I'll just ask here later at the café."

Walking towards my car none of us talked; it was the same in the way there. Silence. Not the kind where it is peaceful. This is the kind of silence you get when you're hiding something. We reached the café and sat on the usual seat; at the back next to the glass wall. I sank on the new brand new leather arm chair which replaced some of the wooden chairs around the café.

Luca approached to us; sending both of us a smile, "Hey Pewds! Hey Marzia!" The purple haired man stated. "The usual again guys?"

"Yeah Luca," I gave of another smile "Thanks"

The man walked away doing whatever he was doing before.

Marzia sat there; staring at the river as it slowly flowed. Her eyes filled with sadness which I never saw before. I didn't want to disturb her but me curiosity got the best of me.

"Marzia what's wrong?" I asked, my tone full of concern.

She looked at me straight in the eye, "It's nothing Felix," She replied, her eyes look like they were about to drop tears at any moment, "Don't worry about it…"

Luca approached us with our desired beverages; mine's the Cappuccino with cinnamon and Marzia's a strawberry shake. "Here's your order guys, Enjoy!" Luca said with his usual cheerful tone. I grabbed my wallet and pulled out enough cash to pay both our orders.

"Felix, it's okay." Marzia said. "I can pay."

"No Marzia, I'm paying" I protested and it worked. She gave up and grabbed her shake and stared at the river again.

Once again silence came back bringing nostalgia with it. It's odd, words usually bring the information but simply being quiet brings the same sometimes more even. It felt as if it was the old times where me and Marzia were still in High school. We would always go here and just sit in the same seats, drink the same drinks, and just hang out together. Also, I remembered the first time me and Cry came here. It was our first date, pretty casual for I date but neither of us mind it though. It was fun talking about anything. Random thoughts that simply run through then disappear the next day. It was fun to simply put it but this fun is more than fun for me, it is a cherished memory that continues to run.

"Felix…" I voice echoed in my mind breaking my train of thought. It was Marzia, she finished her shake already.

"Yeah?" I replied back. "What is it Marzia?"

"I want―"She paused, shaking as if he was only forcing herself to speak.

"No Marzia," I tried to stop her "Don't tell if you want it's totally fine."

"Okay…" She calmed down, a tear escaping her eye.

"Felix, look at the river." She said and I followed. "Isn't it beautiful?"

I had to agree the setting sun gave the river a beautiful mix of colours, and the water reflected some back making it shine like as if there were stars trapped inside. It felt as if the river was painted by an artist with great skill, perfecting the colours and everything.

"The river continues to flow no matter what the circumstances." I turned to Marzia, confused on what she was talking about.

"It never stops even if boulders and other things block its way. They are times where it runs slowly, sometimes it runs fast. No matter, it still moves on, continuing its endless journey. It has learned to face and overcome the blocks, now, look at the river, its beauty cannot be compared to anything else." A few tears ran down her cheek as she spoke.

I for one was a bit confused on why she said this but I didn't care anymore. I went to her and gave her a hug.

"Felix…" She mumbled quiet, returning the hug.

"Please don't cry anymore Marzia…" I said, a tear ran down my cheek. "I don't want to see you so sad.

She giggled as I broke the hug and went back to my seat. A smile appeared on her face. "Thanks Felix."

Both of us stood up and headed to the door. My sleeve was pulled back making me face the culprit. It was Luca.

"Hey Felix, can we have a talk?" The purple haired man questioned. I nodded saying it was fine.

"Are you and Cry still, well, together?" He simply asked.

I didn't know how to reply to it. I never expected Luca to even ask this in the first place but I know that I still loved him no matter what.

"Yes Luca, I still love him." I replied to his question. "Why do you even ask?"

"No, it's just that I wanted to clarify some things up." He said.

Clarify? What does he mean? Does he somehow know about me and Cry's breakup a few weeks before? But how, I asked myself.

"Well that's all i―"

"Did Cry tell you?" I asked immediately, cutting Luca's words in the process.

"Well…" I hesitated to answer, "Yes…"

"How?"

"Well, Cry is staying in the hotel where I live." He explained. "He has been there for quite a while and he feels like part of the Family already…"

"Can you tell me the name of the hotel Luca?"

"It's called Clover Manor. It's actually pretty close to your house."

"Can I visit?"

"Yes you can."

"How about tomorrow? It's a Saturday anyway and you don't have work on that day."

"I think it's best if you just come in Christmas; it'll add some bonus points."

"What do you mean?"

"Oh, I'm just reading this manga called Sayonara Zetsubou –Sensei. It's nice and it talks about real life and sometimes politics~" He finished showing me the manga.

"Ok then, I'll just go in Christmas then."

He nodded in agreement and said our goodbyes. Marzia was there waiting inside my car, just waiting for me to come back.

I was jumping for joy in my mind and my heart was racing with excitement for Chrismas to come but there is still this fear. "What if he doesn't want to fix this?"