The four continue to ride on the dusty road.

"I think we got far enough. Let's head up north." They turned towards a group of hills that when they got up on them, the royal palace was barely in view over a few clouds and trees.

"Hm, I never seen the palace in this kind of view before."

"It looks so small from here."

"Hey, we ain't here for sightseeing."

"You're jealous because you're inside there and can't get a better look at this."

"No, I just want to forget about every thing else and get back home. With a stomach full of wine, of course."

"Give me a few more minutes to take this all in. I might come down with something again and may not be able to see this ever again."

"Fine, fine." They ride down the hill at an amazing speed and run onto another dusty trail that have trade caravans going on it. They past them quickly and the people in the caravans look in shock.

"Did you just see that weird monster that just passed by?"

"Yan, I thought you went off the Five Mineral Powder stuff!"

"I did! Did you see that thing that passed by?"

"Your mother will be very ashamed about that you started again when you were clean for three months straight."

"I really didn't take more! The beast really just passed by!"

In Wei, Cao Cao has two hand puppets on either of his hands he makes them talk.

"Liu Bei! You give back Jing!"

"No! It's mine! I saw it first!"

"It was ours first!" Cao Pi stares at Cao Cao with disbelief. "...What are you doing...?"

"It's boring around here, so I'm making my own entertainment. Oh no! Guan Yu, save meee!" Cao Cao quickly takes a Guan Yu hand puppet and has it talk to his Liu Bei puppet.

"I am here, brother!"

"Oh, my hero! Mwa mwa!" He makes the two puppets perform a kissing motion to each other.

"How long is this hiatus going to last? It's been about three to four months since Chibi."

"Pi, you're going to succeed me, you tell me when."

"Look, those four are probably dead by now. We must make a move."

"The cup is always half empty with you."

"Getting shot off a boat, landing into the ice-cold water, being drifted off to who knows where, and it has been three to four months since we had seen them. And you assigning Sima Yi's kid to be my tutor was not the best idea. He's a baby!"

*Cutaway or flashback, you decide*

Cao Pi sits in a table with Sima Shi on the other side. Cao Cao drops books onto the table and says, "This is your substitute tutor."

"Father... He is a baby."

"So?"

"Babies can't teach."

"He's Sima Yi's son. He can teach you just as well as he can."

"I would be better off being taught by his wife."

"Oh, now that Sima Yi's gone, you want to try and pick her up? Is that it?"

"No... but... Hm... It would not be a bad idea..."

"That's the spirit, now you two have fun." Cao Cao walks out of the room. Cao Pi stares at Sima Shi blankly. Sima Shi falls down on his head lightly so he is upside-down.

"Gah?"

*End*

"I can't accept that all four are dead! And that baby taught you well!"

"It just sat there nibbling on a book!"

"There, he taught you books are not edible."

"Everyone knows books are not edible!"

"Not Xu Chu."

"Ok, him, but everyone else knows books are not edible! Father, let us take the fight to Wu and Shu. Everything is repaired, the army is training well, and everyone has their wounds healed. Leave the past behind and look forward to your future."

"Did you get that out of a book?"

"I just made it up."

"It sounds like it came from a book."

"I really just came up with it on the spot."

"Really?"

"Yes!"

"All I have is Xu Shu..."

"Man Chong, Cheng Yu, Xun You, Jia Kui, Zhong Yao, Chen Qun, Sima Lang, and I'm forgetting the rest."

"Oh! I should have had Sima Lang tutor you! Men! Can you summon Sima Lang out here?"

"Well, at least I wouldn't be getting taught by a baby..."

Zhang He was humming happily as he was snipping twigs off of a rose bush. Guo Huia and Xiahou Yuan walked up to him.

"Oh, there you are. What have you been doing this entire time?"

"Hm, hm... Oh! It's you two! Like my artwork?" The camera zooms out to show it was a flower bud made out of a rose bush. The bushes before that one also were made into looking like flowers.

"Wow. They look so real."

"Um... I know this isn't your home, so who are you doing this for?"

"Lady Zhang Chunhua said I can help out in the garden. I decided this will lighten up the place a bit." The door opens to have Zhang Chunhua walk out into the garden.

"How are you doing with the-" She freezes and stares at the bushes that Zhang He shaped into flowers. "...Ahem... Um... I see you are doing fine... What is this?"

Xiahou Yuan jokingly says, "Yo dawg, Zhang He heard you liked flowers, so he made a flower out of flowers so you could watch flowers grow out of a flower while looking like a flower. Hahaha!"

"...Okay?"

"Oh, come on. No one here got it?"

"No."

"Not me."

"Aw..."

"This wasn't necessary, but thank you."

"My pleasure! How about you, General? Want me to make something in your garden?"

"...Um... No. Unless you can make trees look like they are rectangles. That will so cool!"

"A challenge! Bye! Call me if you need more help!" Zhang He happily skips behind Xiahou Yuan. Guo Huai asks Zhang Chunhua, "Now that I am here anyway, can you give another of that medicine tea mix?"

"This is your tenth time, normally someone would have threw up at its taste at the first time they took it and try to avoid me at all costs." (Ten! Are your taste buds dead along with everything else in your body? Oh well, at least I won't have to force it down Sima Yi as much anymore.)

"It stops my coughing for weeks and it does taste awful, no offense."

"None taken, I am aware of that."

"But it does work. So can I get another package?"

"Here." She gives him a bag.

"I am just wondering, what is in it?"

"...Best if you do not know." (Tiger eyes, tiger bones, human bones, tiger semen, fish stomach, fish eyes, fish heads, bull testicles, some unknown mushrooms I threw in, some green liquid, whole apples, whole oranges, chicken feet, Five Mineral Powder, fish bones, crushed elephant tusk, crushed bear claws, crushed tiger's teeth, fish organs paste, dried roots, dried herbs-...I am making myself sick right now...)

Back on the dusty trail, the four get closer to the palace with every move their vehicle makes.

"We are almost there!"

"Hopefully no more distractions will-" A lighting bolt hits Sima Yi and he and the horse he is on dies, so he falls on the ground. "Augh! I spoke too soon..." More lighting bolts strike the three and the vehicles either died or exploded on contact. The three fall off and land onto the road. Zuo Ci instantly appears before them.

"I see you managed to get here. But I am not letting you go. If you won't join Liu Bei, then you must go somewhere far away."

"Jesus Christ! What the hell do you want?! Stop being a Liu Bei fanboy and just tell us!"

"For you to learn that Liu Bei is the right way." The four make dissatisfied faces.

"Ugh... so lame... It rhymed..."

"You sound like a merchant advertising Liu Bei."

"Shut it. I will give you one last chance, let the way of benevolence-" An ice spike protrudes out of him. The camera moves to Sima Yi who had his hand surrounded by cold winds.

"That. Word. Is. Poison."

"You dare attack me like that? Fine, you can die."

"Hypocrite. Talking about that-word-shalt-not-be-named and you go straight into killing the person who insults it."

"Ha!" Zuo Ci shoots bolts of lighting at Sima Yi, but he counters it with icy winds. Guo Jia and Jia Xu yell at him, "Since when did you become Iceman?!"

Xun Yu holds up his notepad.

He can use magic, remember?

"There is a limit! First a boner sword, making wine from water, and now this! Why wasn't I created with this?"

"You're meant to be fighting with weapons and not magic. Xun Yu uses magic too. Wait, can't he combine with Sima Yi's powers and blow that old guy away? Can you?"

The Shu forces didn't take my staff since I hid it well under my sleeves.

Xun Yu takes out his staff and points it at Zuo Ci. Nothing happens.

This wasn't activated yet... I can't use it until the developers create my moveset... I just remembered this...

"Damn it, Koei!" Zuo Ci continues to force his bolts directly into Sima Yi's icy winds, but it continues to be pushed back.

"Give up!"

"No." Sima Yi continues to hold his hand in place and yawns. "Auuugh... How dull this is..."

"You have bolts trying to kill you and you're think it's dull?!"

"Yes. Okay, I am bored. Take this." He holds both hands in place to create a stronger icy wind.

"Two hands, BITCH!" Zuo Ci gasps.

"No way..." The winds overcome the bolts and hits Zuo Ci to freeze him slowly in ice spikes.

"Gaaaah... You... huff... I can't die! Grr!" He squirms around, but the ice quickly covers him to only his head.

"No! I will have my-Gaaah!" He is frozen completely solid.

"There! Let's go." Sima Yi walks up to the gates that lead into a Wei city and kicks it open. The three follow him into it.

"Are you sure leaving the old man in an ice cube is a good idea?"

"He just doesn't like Cao Cao, so he'll forget about me."

Inside of the palace, a man with a long beard is sitting with Cao Pi and he is reading a few books. Cao Cao walks up to them.

"This is better, isn't it?"

"You didn't think of this sooner and made a baby my substitute tutor. Of course it's better."

"Hahaha... My lord, my brother is more suited to this than I am-"

"Don't put yourself into the ground! You're Sima Yi's older brother, so act like it!"

"But he is superior to me in terms with strategies, I can't hold a candle to him."

"Ah, you're too humble. And... something about reminds me of Guan Yu... I don't know what..." Cao Cao was stroking Sima Lang's beard while having a face deep in thought.

"...Can you please stop? It's bothering me."

"Funny how Sima Yi doesn't look like you. Are at least step-brothers?"

"No, all eight of us are of the same father. And please stop stroking my beard."

"It's just... It reminds me so much of Guuuuan Yuuu! Ahuhhuhhuhu!" Cao Cao cries in Sima Lang's chest. "There, there..." (Yi, you better not be dead.)

The four walk on the street of a empty city.

"There are no guards, nor people."

"Hmph, this place is pretty battered up." They walk up to the palace and it was burnt to unknown recognition. Guo Jia looks at the palace and sinks to his knees. He pounds the ground with his fist.

"Wu finally really did it!"

"Guo Jia."

"ARRRRRRRAGH! You pyromanics! You blew it up! Ah, damn you!"

"Guo Jia."

"God damn you all to hell!" Jia Xu and Sima Yi yell at him, "GUO JIA!"

"What?! They blew it-" Sima Yi yells at him, "This is the old Luoyang! The one Dong Zhou burned down!"

"How would you know?"

"I have been here! My family lived near here!" Jia Xu then comments, "And I was there when Dong Zhou burned the place down. I didn't suggest it, but he did it."

And I resigned when he captured this place.

"Anyway, this is the old Luoyang. The new one should be nearby." Guo Jia sits still and his face turns bright red. "...Oh... Damn, I forgot all about that incident. It was just so horrible so I drank that memory away. Hehe..."

"Next time there is a banquet, I am so telling this story."

"Okay, okay! Let us just go to the real one."

"Wu destroying Luoyang... It might happen. MIGHT. That's if the Suns still respect the Emperor."

Five Mineral Powder was a drug in Ancient China that resembled cocaine based on ancient texts. It probably was cocaine, but the Chinese gave it such a fancy name.

I based off Sima Lang off of one of his appearances in the ROTK games. He had a long beard that reminded me of Guan Yu.