A/N: Kudos to my beta, ShadowPast620. Special thanks to reader, Feekilico, for pointing out a major author-error typo last chapter.
"Urchin, hey, Urchin, wake up," a voice whispered to her, the sound getting louder as she woke up and opened her eyes.
Looming over her was her Paul man, dressed and looking like he was getting ready to leave for the day. If Bella thought that was odd it nowhere near compared to the fact that she was still sleeping in his bed despite not remembering at all how she had gotten there
Fear was instantaneous.
"Sorry," he said standing up, still staying right next to the mattress. "Today is supposed to be with Emily and I need to drop you off because they only have one vehicle and Embry had to go to work. If you get dressed, I'll go fix us something for breakfast, okay?"
Yesterday's visit with the Leah lady came back to Bella, her mind wandering over and over the idea that her Leah friend hadn't been hurt by the Sam man. It didn't seem possible to Bella; his rage had come fast and hard. There was no way he hadn't hit something or more importantly someone and yet Bella had been unable to find any evidence on her Leah friend.
Not to say Bella was ready to instantly trust the Sam man, but maybe he was okay if others were present, like her Paul man or Leah? Bringing herself back to the present, Bella dropped her line of thinking. This was a live or die type of situation in her world and wasn't something that could just be rationalized in the relative safety of her current home. She'd wait until the situation arose again and see what her immediate instincts told her.
Focusing back on her Paul man's face, she noted his worried look and tried to smile for him, using one hand to grasp his and the other to rub the sleep out of her eyes.
"Are you okay, Urchin?" He waited until she nodded and then left the room whistling while Bella crawled off of the mattress to take a shower.
In the bathroom, Bella's worries came sneaking back. She hadn't heard his alarm earlier and worried that she'd get in trouble for sleeping next to him. Again, she was confused because her Paul man didn't seem to be mad at all that he had woke her up in his bed. Sure, he had told her he wanted her to sleep with him all the time, and it wasn't that she didn't believe him. It was the fact that he couldn't possibly gain anything from it. Certainly he hadn't tried to collect a payment. Why not, though?
Dressing warmly in clothes that had surprisingly been left for her on the end of his bed, Bella wanted her thoughts to go away. The idea of letting him use… Shaking her head, Bella tried to think of a different word to explain what those actions would be. She wanted to give something to him to show her appreciation and even that wasn't exactly what she was feeling either. She really was beginning to value her Paul man. She just didn't have any way of proving it.
When she walked into the kitchen, Bella couldn't help but smile as she watched her Paul make eggs and toast. He was really good at cooking and she hated that she couldn't eat more of the food to show her thanks. That, too, confused her because when she had lived in the Underground she was always able to eat what she found, unless she decided to save it for later.
While food was always a constant thought in her mind it never occurred to Bella that while staying here she had a constant source available to her and that feeling full was normal as opposed to feeling hungry.
"Here you go, Urchin," he said, setting a plate down in front of her, thankfully with only one egg and piece of bread. "You'll tell me if you're still hungry, right? I'm sorry we're kinda rushed so we'll just eat in here."
Bella smiled quickly before dropping her gaze to the plate he had left her on the counter. Using her fingers, she dragged the fried egg on to the piece of toast before attempting to wrap it up and eat it like a sandwich. She was making good progress until she hit the yolk. Thick yellow fluid coated her fingers and her Paul started to laugh.
"You're either going to have to learn to take bigger bites, Urchin, or use a fork."
Was he mad? Bella looked up to see if she could tell. Using a fork was slower and he had already said they were in a hurry. She hadn't meant to upset him and quickly attempted to lick her fingers clean, surprised when a paper towel suddenly appeared in front of her.
"I take it back," he said, his voice sounding funny. "You don't ever have to use a damn utensil if you prefer to use your fingers. Shit, if I didn't have to be at work, I'd help you clean up just like that."
Confused by what he meant, Bella tried to wipe her fingers clean, her impromptu sandwich forgotten on its plate as she studied her Paul man's face. He didn't look mad, which was a relief, but she could tell he wasn't exactly happy either.
"Are you done?" he asked a few minutes later, his own breakfast nowhere to be seen. At her nod, he smiled and ushered her to the closet to grab jackets, making sure she was securely zipped before they left the house and he helped her to the jeep.
"Look, Urchin, I know yesterday was awkward at Leah's and while it might have ended well, are you sure you're okay to hang with Emily today?" He asked, pulling away from the house. "Embry won't be there and I'll be back to pick you up before he does come home."
Her hand was resting on top of his and she squeezed lightly to let him know she was okay. The name thing had vanished when the movie was turned off and no one had asked her anymore about it, so she was safe. Plus, Bella clearly remembered the Emily woman. She was going to be a mom and her smile had been sincere. Leah had talked about her a lot yesterday and Bella felt as though she might, for once, be a help and not a hindrance for someone else. She could easily assist this Emily woman with whatever she needed done. Her Paul telling her the Embry man wouldn't be there made the day even more bearable.
Once they pulled up to the Emily lady's house, her Paul man escorted her up to the door, rapped twice, opened it and ushered Bella inside with an affectionate 'See you later'. Then he was gone.
Walking directly into what appeared to be the kitchen, the Emily lady was sitting on a couch viewable from where Bella stood. For being so early in the morning, she looked wide awake.
"Arial, hi," Emily said, waving Bella to come towards her. "Come on in, have a seat and take your jacket off. Are you hungry? I didn't know if you'd have time to eat before Paul dropped you off. Sorry about that. There's cereal, muffins, bagels, you can help yourself."
Slowly approaching the room Emily was in, Bella skirted around a large chair, unconsciously looking around to make sure no one else was here before sitting down in an empty chair. Looking up, she realized Emily was still waiting for an answer and Bella shook her head to the question.
"Okay. If you want something, though, just help yourself," Emily replied, squinting to look at a nearby clock. "Hmm, it's not even six thirty. A few more minutes and then I need to get up to clean lightly."
Eagerly, Bella stood up to approach the Emily woman. She could do the cleaning and the soon to be mom could just stay seated and relaxed. Pointing to the kitchen sink, Bella tried to ask if that was where the cleaning stuff was like at her Paul's man house. The Emily woman didn't seem to understand.
"If you're thirsty, go ahead, Arial. The glasses are in the far cabinet," Emily explained pointing in a different direction.
Deciding it would take too long for the Emily woman to guess at what she was trying to tell her, Bella cautiously got up and walked towards the kitchen sink trying to keep her gaze fixed on the pregnant woman. When she reached it, she bent over and tried to open the door.
"No, Arial, the glasses are in a top cabinet. Not down below," Emily said, still smiling despite Bella standing there unmoving. Emily certainly had the patience of an angel and as she watched the small and frightened woman stare at her confusedly, the mom to be struggled to stand to her feet so she could help out.
The movement broke Bella out of her initial shock upon hearing the word no and she hurried to the couch, trying to indicate for the nice Emily woman to stay put.
"Really, Arial," Emily laughed, not expecting to sit on the couch all day when she had a guest. "Like I said, I need to get up and clean some before my tiredness sets in. Now don't fuss," she said, when Arial continued to motion for her to sit, "I just need to sweep, vacuum, clean the bathroom and start a load of laundry. It's not a lot."
Bella watched in horror as Emily finally stood up, went into the kitchen to pour a glass of water and then proceeded to tidy up, Bella dropping to her knees when the Emily woman tried to lean over with the dustpan. She had no idea what a pregnant woman could or couldn't do, but her Paul had talked a lot about the Embry man not wanting Emily moving around. Watching Emily bend over with her large tummy looked painful and the last thing Bella wanted was for the Embry man to learn she hadn't been willing to prevent it.
The vacuum was another story altogether. It was loud, startling Bella at first and even though it looked like all you had to do was running it over the floor, Emily moved as if there was a specific pattern to be accomplished. When Bella held her hand out to try, Emily just smiled and shook her head, waving to indicate Bella should go sit down.
The entire morning was nothing but a disaster waiting to happen as far as Bella was concerned. Every time she tried to help, Emily would shoo her away, making Bella feel like failure. And it wasn't as if Emily was mean about her actions and refusal of help, but her Paul man had said Emily needed to relax and this was not relaxing.
When Emily announced it was lunch, Bella thought she might finally be learning how to read a clock. The Emily woman timed everything, from the way she got up to switch rooms, to the way she'd instantly stop an activity to announce they had to do something else. Bella was almost scared when knitting needles left the Emily woman's hands to land in a basket, followed shortly by the balls of yarn. However, the day passed quickly, sunlight long gone by the time Bella's Paul man showed up, looking anxious and relieved at the same time.
"Hey!" He announced his presence seconds after rapping at the door like he had that morning.
At the table, both women looked up, Emily always welcoming while Bella tried to shuffle the piece of paper sitting in front of her away. "Goodness, Paul, is it that late already? Dinner is almost ready, do you guys want to stay?" Emily asked, using the table to help stand.
Bella's heart picked up pace quickly. That Embry person would be here soon and she wanted to avoid the contact, worried he'd be mad that Bella hadn't been able to help as much as she wanted to.
Paul didn't need to look at his urchin to know that probably wasn't a good idea. Nevertheless, he did look to ensure she was physically fine while politely answering Emily. "Thanks, but that's okay. I'm all grungy and just want to get home for a shower and a beer. Rain check?"
"Sure," Emily happily agreed, walking to the oven as Paul approached Urchin. She was way too fucking nervous about the paper in her hand and he almost decided to let it go.
Almost…
"What were you guys doing before I got here?"
Emily spun around, joyful at the ability to tell Paul what they had been working on. "Earlier we were trying to communicate and it didn't go very well, so I figured she's going to need to learn to write."
"Oh," Paul commented stupidly, his eyes locked on Urchin. She looked scared shitless as if she didn't want him to know. "Can I see?" He asked, holding his hand out.
Again, the wrong fucking thing to do, Urchin's trembling going from normal to spastic. Paul's hand snapped back to his side, fucking emotions all over the place as he tried to sift through them, guilt, fear, anxiety, sadness and disappointment, his girl's constant emotional flux gaining broadcasting strength.
"Forget it, Urchin. You don't have to," he offered lamely.
Stepping closer to the table, Emily continued to hold her smile, sad that the poor girl looked like she was about to cry. "Arial, do you think you could do me a favor before you leave?" Waiting until she gave a brief blink and nod, Emily continued. "Could you go look under my bed and see if I left some green yarn there? I know I said earlier that I was out, but there might be a skein hiding that I forget about."
Paul knew a diversion tactic when it was presented and he tried to act relaxed and easy going, his girl hesitantly and clumsily rising before scampering down the hall to do as asked.
"Paul," Emily said softly, "she's embarrassed. Let her come to you when she's ready."
"She doesn't need to be embarrassed, I'm not," Paul replied remorsefully. He was thankful that it was Emily initiating this conversation and not one of the other imprints. Her manner was soft spoken and never judgmental.
"I know you aren't, Paul, but did you know she has no idea at all how to read or write? Even the simple task of copying letters was painful."
"Painful how?" Paul demanded, suddenly on guard, wondering if he had misjudged Emily and the girl had used a ruler to hit Urchin's hands or some shit.
"Painful as in she tried and it was frustrating for her. Paul, if I didn't know better, I'd say this girl has never been to school. She doesn't want to show you because honestly, what she wrote could barely be called letters. More like scribbling."
"Don't push this, Emily," Paul bit out on the defense, his voice more wolf than man. "Don't make her do shit she doesn't want to. I could give a fuck less if she doesn't know how to read or write and I won't have your teacher instincts making Urchin feel like every day she spends here is a torture fest."
"Paul, no one is hurting Arial. It certainly won't kill her to learn and it's a needed life skill."
For once in her life, Emily was scared of Paul when his gaze met hers, the look more irrational than not. "I can read and write just fucking fine for the both of us. Urchin is welcome to do whatever the hell she wants, but I refuse to let any of you force this shit on her or make her feel like she's beneath us because of her previous shitty life experiences!"
"Paul, I-"
"Enough!" he barked out, the sound of Urchin's scuffling gait getting louder.
Bella didn't hear what they had been arguing about, but she could read the tension easily enough coming from both people. Her hand fluttered to the pocket encasing the paper she had hidden, self preservation saying to hand it over before someone got hurt.
"No luck?" Emily asked, trying to compose her features. She took a healthy step away from the volatile wolf, wishing Embry was home to lead Paul outside so she could calm Arial down.
Still fixed on Paul, Bella shook her head and flinched when he let out a whoosh of breath.
"Don't worry about it, Urchin. Come on, let's go home." Paul didn't make the same mistake of holding his hand out, opting instead to lightly grasp Urchin's shoulder and steer her towards the door.
Head bowed and shoulders hunched in defeat, Bella walked outside passively with her Paul, failing to see the sad goodbye wave Emily offered before shutting the door. Bella was ashamed that her day with Emily hadn't been of any benefit to the pregnant woman, worried that the Embry man would come over later to cause trouble. She was also embarrassed that she hadn't just shown her Paul man the things the Emily woman had asked her to copy on the paper.
"Fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck!" Paul kept cursing under his breath on the drive home. Urchin had plastered herself against the jeep door as far away from him as she could get. He sure as hell wasn't trying to scare her nor was he angry about anything she may have thought she did.
Shit, he was fucking tired and not because he had spent the better part of the day hauling around drywall waste, rank smelling carpet and busted doors while one of his dumbass coworkers couldn't tell the difference between right, left and his ass. The new construction project was starting out as a nasty ass cleanup project as far as Paul was concerned.
Even the drive home had been better than fine, Paul constantly thinking what a difference it made now that he had someone to come home to. Hell, he hadn't even been that worried that today's pickup would be a repeat of yesterday's, knowing Emily was the virtual mother figure and couldn't hurt a bug if her life depended on. Which, the whole pack heard about at least once a week from Embry who was assigned the daunting task of relocating a fly, spider or beetle back outside at Emily's insistence. She was the only imprint who didn't believe in the heavenly footwear approach, where one simply took the heaviest goddamn shoe and squished the fuckers into a new life.
However, he had managed to fuck up his fantasy imprint pick up six ways to hell and back, all because his dumb ass couldn't keep his curiosity in check for five fucking seconds. How many damn times did he have to remind himself to slow his shit down and realize Urchin was extremely forthcoming. If he had just stayed fucking silent, she probably would've shown him later, back at the house when they were alone.
Paul tried his damnedest not to look at his urchin, afraid she'd perceive his assholeness as anger. The entire situation was enough to drive him fucking insane. His girl wasn't like others, she didn't use guilty pouts or seething looks to make him feel worse and he damn well knew that by trying to not look, his fucktard tactic made her feel even worse and in turn, making him be even more of an ass. This feelings shit had to fucking go away or they were both going to go insane!
This was definitely all Emily's fault. What right did she have, making his girl do things that upset her? Things she couldn't do and obviously didn't want to. Paul could give one rat's ass if reading and writing were normal life skills. If his girl wanted to learn, she would, but obviously that was not the case right now. Like with anything, Urchin would get it when she was ready and if that time never came, who the fuck cared? Caveman logic or not, Paul wouldn't feel any more or any less for Urchin if she really couldn't read or write. He may have had some fairytale dream about them going to school together, but it wasn't a necessity as far as Paul was concerned.
When Paul finally pulled up at his house three minutes later, he had self imploded several times, all of the instances ending with no resolution as to how to fix this. His knuckles turned white, the clenching of fists his only way to control the chaotic mind fuck he had managed to self inflict. Per usual, he helped Urchin out of the jeep, staying silent and sullen as they entered house.
"I'm gonna go take a shower, Urchin. Go ahead and do whatever and I'll let you know when dinner's ready, okay?" Paul instructed, still not looking at her directly as he threw his keys and wallet on the table while hoping from foot to foot to take off his boots.
He wasn't looking, he wasn't looking, he wasn't…shit! Try as he might, he could still make out Urchin's defeated stance in his peripheral vision. Paul didn't know if that was a human thing or his sly ass fucking inner wolf trying to keep her in sight, but it was a done deal. Slumping his shoulders much like hers were, Paul finally turned to face her.
Dropping the boot with an audible thwack to the floor, Paul held out his arms. "Come here, Urchin," he whispered, stepping forward to embrace her, knowing she sure as shit wouldn't step forward on her own accord.
"Look, I'm real fucking sorry for whatever I did to upset you at Emily's, okay? I'm not mad at you and you sure as hell aren't in any type of fucking trouble or shit." Picking up the still unmoving female, Paul carried her over to the couch, positioning her crosswise across his lap.
"I don't want you to feel whatever this shit is. Whatever you think you did, you didn't. Or if you did, it's not something I'm mad about or you need to worry about. If Emily asks you to do something and you don't want to, all you have to do is fucking tell her no. Or if you have to do it anyways and for whatever reason can't get out of it, you can always tell me later and I'll tell her off, okay?"
Paul sat there, huddling her close to his heart and praying with every fucking thing he had that she'd relax and understand he was sincere and meant every word. She was tense, but not overly so and while that was an encouraging sign, he wished it was more.
Reminding himself over and over not to act like a porn star, Paul reached out to brush her hair away from her face. Urchin's eyes were pretty fucking much the sole tool he had to communicate with. As his fingers brushed over the top of her ear, Urchin gave a small shiver, causing Paul to freeze.
Eventually she raised her face towards him, a look of uncertainty sprinkled with shame slamming Paul right in the nuts. Any of Urchin's less than happy emotions felt like a body check strike, but her shame was the atomic bomb equivalent to all. He was fucking two hundred percent certain his heart stopped beating, gave him a huge 'fuck off, shitter' signal and left his body.
"No, no fucking way," Paul croaked, as he watched her tears form rapidly. "You have nothing to be ashamed of, Urchin. So fucking what if you don't want to show me something or think I might get mad," he improvised, "I don't care one fucking way or another, Urchin. You are welcome to keep stuff from me that you don't want to share. Hell, half the shit I'm probably better off not knowing and just need to be reminded of that now and again." Now was not the time to let his urchin know Emily had actually explained what she had been working on, although he was pretty fucking sure Urchin knew Emily had.
Bella was at a complete loss as to what to do. Emily had told her the Paul man would be happy if she could write, and with that single thought in mind, Bella had eagerly paid attention to the paper and movements Emily made to explain how it was done. Despite the constant instructions and corrections, Bella had been unable to duplicate those weird symbols and when placed against the ones Emily had done, they weren't even close in comparison.
Now, here was her Paul man telling her it didn't matter, but Bella knew better. If it wasn't important, he wouldn't have been so upset on the drive back here. She had no idea what Emily had told him, but it was probably something along the lines of not to beat her too badly and that she'd try to help Bella some more before giving up.
Bella also couldn't understand why the Paul man was telling her not to be ashamed. Emily said learning to write and read took time, but they had spent all afternoon on it and she still couldn't even write one letter properly! Nearly every instinct in Bella told her that once she showed him the paper, he would change his mind and tell her not only was he ashamed, but that she should feel more so.
Bella didn't need to see through her tears to find the scrap of paper she had hastily shoved inside earlier at Emily's. While the Paul man kept talking about how much none of it mattered, she pulled out the crumpled leaflet and held it out for him to take, her eyes dropping to stare back at her lap. She already knew how this was going to end and she couldn't stand the thought of seeing the actual disgust on his face.
His reassurances stopped suddenly, Bella still holding out the paper for him to take. She could feel the tears dripping down her cheeks into her lap and hoped he'd place her down quickly so she could go find some paper towels. There was no explanation as to why he wasn't grabbing the paper or talking anymore, even in a fake niceness, though she didn't think he could be fake. The Paul man could probably lie and hide things really well, but not be fake.
"Urchin," he finally said, causing Bella to flinch subtly, "I'll look at that if you really want me to, but don't ask me to if you really don't want that."
Still holding out her offering, Bella couldn't figure out what she was supposed to do. Was this another test, did he want to see if she was lying? Or did he really mean it and was trying to give her a way out of this mess? The other possibility was that he already knew how awful her attempts had been, and was trying to spare himself the embarrassment of having to see it firsthand.
"Okay, Urchin, here's the deal." Sighing heavily, Paul's voice continued to be even toned without any indication of anger; a fact Bella was extremely grateful for. "I'm going to sit you down beside me and then go take a shower like I said earlier. Then we'll have dinner and if you still want to show me, I'll happily look, okay? All you have to do is leave it on the table."
Before Bella could completely rationalize her options, the Paul man had set her down on the next cushion, kissed her head and left, Bella still clutching tightly to her scribbling. Even after he was gone for some minutes, she still sat there, afraid to move or hide the evidence of her failure. She felt lost and confused. He hadn't given her any choices that were easy to identify as not being a trick. In fact, if he had just told her one way or another that he did or didn't want to see it, she would've felt relieved.
When she heard the water turn off in the other room, Bella finally moved. She didn't know how to play these games and was becoming more frustrated. This was not how men were supposed to act. The men she had been forced to deal with by the demons never acted like this. The men she saw out on the streets who weren't homeless never acted like this either and the demons always posed their questions in the form of some type of test. Bella could no longer handle the thought process required to make decisions and in a fit of anger, walked over to the dining room table.
The paper in her hand was wadded into a ball and without even thinking of what may or may not occur, Bella threw it, watching as the lumpy ball rolled across the table and came to a stand still closer to the Paul man's side than hers. If he wanted to see it, he could, but Bella was not about to unroll it or offer her humiliation in thanks anymore. With one last glare, she slunk back to her room, still scared she would get punished, but relieved that whatever happened would be more welcome than the constant puzzles the Paul man gave her.
If only she could remember this thought in the days to come.
When Paul left his room to head for the kitchen, he knew Urchin was in her own room, the door mostly closed. He wanted to go back in there and hug the ever living shit out of her, tell her how much she meant to him and fuck the world and whatever it thought. Instead, he continued on to make dinner, rehashing all of the shit that had taken place and trying to figure out how the fuck he could avoid all this shit and just get to the happy times a wolf and imprint were supposed to have.
The idea of leaving the pack behind and moving away with Urchin was still forefront in his mind. It just seemed like every time a new crisis happened, it was due to some interference. Urchin didn't need that shit and Paul knew he sure as fuck didn't need it either. It wouldn't be like he was some type of fucking quitter either, dropping the pack so he could live his happily fucking ever after with his girl. She didn't really fit in and he sure as shit couldn't blame her for that! Hell, Paul had never fit in either, not with the pack or the tribe or the people who called themselves Mom and Dad.
The idea began to shape and form, a way for him and Urchin to just leave and be done with all this shit. It sure as fuck wouldn't be easy or even something accomplished overnight, but with some crafty planning and rearrangement, it might just be the best thing for everyone. Especially him and Urchin.
Finally relieved to have some type of backup plan for when all the shit finally came down, Paul felt better. He whistled outrageously as he cooked dinner for him and his girl, dancing stupidly around his kitchen as he threw together…well, he wasn't quite sure what the shit was that he had decided would make up a casserole, but it was probably edible. Most likely.
"Hey, Urchin, come on! Dinner's ready," Paul hollered out as he grabbed the pan from the oven and set it on top of the stove. He left it there while pouring drinks and stacking plates and silverware to carry out to the dining room, where he deposited them in pile before going back to get the casserole.
"I think you might like this, Urchin. I can't remember what the fuck I put in it, but it smells good and we have bread you can roll it up in to eat," Paul explained, as he grabbed the aforementioned item to take back out into the living room.
Once there, he stood while opening the bag of bread and dropping four pieces on one plate and just a single piece on the other. He knew he should probably put two on Urchin's and only three on his; whatever she didn't eat would automatically disappear into Paul's stomach, but this day had been a bit taxing and Urchin probably wouldn't eat a whole hell of a lot. Realizing he forgot a serving spoon, Paul just shrugged and grabbed his own fork to serve up the dish. He heaped way more than would fit on any of his bread slices and took the extra time to make sure Urchin's wasn't as full. For whatever weird ass reasons, she seemed to prefer when her food wasn't seeping out of the sides of what she was holding.
It was when he went to sit down that Paul finally noticed the piece of paper. It was definitely the same piece of paper his girl had been clutching like a lifeline earlier, but damn! Now it looked like it had seen some rage, all misshaped and cluster-fucked. Paul was almost certain he could feel the anger that piece of paper represented and his third call for Urchin died on his lips.
In a stupor, he sat down in his chair hard, forgetting about dinner and fully engrossed with the ball of paper. He sure as fuck wasn't some psychological wanna-be retard, but he was a man; one who knew damn fucking well that this paper said: You can read me fucker, but you're a cocksucker for doing so. Do it! I double fucking dare you, asshole!
Whatever the paper had on it was not meant for his eyes. It could be the meaning of life, or winning lotto numbers or hell, even her goddamn name, but no way this side of hell was Paul about to actually fucking look at it. His Urchin may be different than most, but there came a point where all females were the same and this was definitely one of them.
Paul still sat there like a drunken idiot, staring at the dare and eventually manning up enough to poke at it with his fork. He pushed it this way and that, even stabbing the utensil directly through the center until he could regain some fucking sense and move it out of the dining room. Still stuck to the fork, he carried that waiting bomb into the living room, using just the tip of his pinkie finger to dislodge it from the fork and drop it harmlessly onto an end table. And then he stared at it again.
Every wolf and man sense he had had already told him to stop, drop and roll the fuck away without looking at it. And yet the ball of paper just sat there, harmlessly glowing in its white, shiny, papery innocence. It wasn't like Paul had forced his girl to share it with him; she had purposely left it out for him to read it. On the table next to his place. Never mind the fact that she had wadded it up inside an invisible language of female retaliation. Goddamn it, if she really didn't want him to see the fucking thing, she could have just kept it with her. Obviously she was okay with sharing, right?
Paul's hand hovered over the dreaded paper bomb, his fingers stretching outwards then snapping back quickly before they could actually touch it. Back and forth and back and forth like a demented finger worm wiggle game, he tried to reach for it, pulling back at the last possible second before he really did touch it. Fuck it all to hell and back, he had to get a fucking grip and take his lame ass whiney self away from the temptation.
Mustering up what small semblance of manhood he still had, Paul turned away and left the secret explosive relationship device on the table, untampered with and his mind still a whirling chaos of shit, but relieved in knowing he had…well, not won. God fucking knew there was no winning of these types of games, however, he had not caved in to setting off the spring. He decided that instead of calling for Urchin, it was probably better to actually go to her room and inquire politely if she would could please join him.
"Urchin?" Paul asked, lightly rapping the tips of his fingers across the wooden door. "Dinner's ready. Will you please come join me?"
The fact that she didn't immediately respond wasn't a huge concern to Paul at first. He could hear her steady breathing and heartbeat and knew she wasn't hurt or panicking. By the fifth request without a response, Paul started to frown and his inner wolf went all whiney bitch on him. Like that was fucking new or unexpected. Still, it wasn't like an imprint to continuously hold out on her wolf, or so he had been told. Paul was well versed in female snub games, despite having an unusual imprint. With his frown still firmly etched across his features, Paul eventually opened the door to peek.
As he had already known, she was fine. Curled up tightly on her bed, Urchin was fast asleep, her features even and unaware of the wolf trying to talk to her. Paul debated on whether or not to wake her. He knew she had to be hungry, but apparently she was more tired. Both food and sleep were important for her to get healthy and damned if Paul was going to wake her ass up because his wolf was crying out to feed her. He'd go back and maw down his own grub then save hers if and when she woke up later. Hell, more likely than not, she'd get up in a couple of hours and check out the fridge, where Paul planned to leave her prepared plate. She could eat it then and go back to sleep on her own schedule.
The plan was solid and Paul did just that, with the tiny exception of carrying his Urchin back to bed with him later on in the night like a beloved stuffed animal. It wasn't like she ever complained or woke up unexpectedly startled because she was in his bed. Paul never exactly forced her to sleep beside him, but fuck it all to hell if he wasn't going to gain the advantage and make it happen when he could.
Later in the evening as he made sure doors were locked, alarms set and Urchin's food ready should she want it, Paul scooped his girl up to carry back to his bed. This, right here, had to be one of his favorite times. Urchin was relaxed and unconsciously accepting of the comfort and warmth he could provide. He tried to suppress the grin when he rolled to his side, back facing his imprint and her body gravitated towards his heat. His Urchin might not be normal, but she never held a grudge and tomorrow all would be… maybe not forgotten, but definitely forgiven.