Disclaimer: I spent too long studying for finals to work on acquiring the rights to Troy...so I still don't own it

Chapter 17: When a Heart Breaks

With the amount of guards her parents had assigned to surround her, she decided she'd much rather be back at the Greek camp; she at least had some freedom there. Simply going outside her room was an entire ordeal: she couldn't go first, but she mustn't go last, and someone always needed to be on her either side, so passing through doorways became ridiculous. She could barely even see where she was going. Searching for a site to watch the Greek camp would be impossible because finding a secluded piece of wall was out of the question. If they did go outside, it was on a stretch of wall facing the city, as if the guards thought Adara was placed in mortal peril simply by seeing the Greek camp. She amused herself with the idea that her guards would tackle to the ground anyone who so much as mentioned the word "Greek."

But this amusement didn't last long. After two days of being flanked on all sides, Adara felt like she would explode. She had to content herself with the small relief of leaning out her window to catch a view of the Greek fires. She began to just sit on the thick stone pane, but she had to stretch to see, and a sensible fear of falling prevented her from leaning too far.

After a week of slow days and regaining her strength, Adara made her way to Daan's rooms. She had not visited him since her return to Troy, and was more than ready to return to her apprenticeship.

"Adara!" he said upon her arrival. "I wasn't expecting you for another day or so. Your mother said you were still not...quite yourself yet."

Adara sighed. Her need to be outside, the way she was always lost in thought, and her refusal to explain why was slowly sending her mother over the edge.

His gaze then switched to the soldiers behind her. "I see you brought friends as well."

Adara recognized completely that her family had just suffered a devastating loss, and that for a brief time, but a time nonetheless, her parents believed both their children to be gone. Her return after a month of being missing and in the wake of Carius's death was a miracle to Adara's parents, and their intense protection detail was understandable. But it was also too much for her. "My mother doesn't realize that part of the reason I'm going mad is her doing."

Daan summed up the guards and took his cue. "Out!" he said, making shooing gestures with his hands as if the guards were stray animals.

The head soldier, unsure of what to do, immediately took a step back as the older man advanced. "Sir, we've been given strict orders to stay by her side until told otherwise."

"Consider this me telling you otherwise," Daan replied, taking a few more steps until he was less than a foot away from the head soldier. Adara stifled a laugh; Daan was at least half a foot shorter than him, but the captain did not know what to do. He glanced at his comrades for help.

"Sir," a second tried, "we don't want to anger the lady's parents."

Daan sighed, annoyed now. As a healer, he never really understood all of the strict orders of the army, but he could respect the excuse he was given. "Can you at least stand outside?" he asked. The soldiers exchanged confused looks. "Honestly, how am I supposed to teach my student anything if she has you all bearing down over her like a -"

He stopped himself mid-sentence, and a grin spread across his face. The captain saw it and leaned away from Daan. She couldn't blame the soldier. "Adara, perhaps we can test those mixtures you made now that we have someone to try them."

It took all of her will power to keep a straight face as the captain cleared his throat. "I don't see why it is not possible for us to stand in the hallway."

"Oh," Daan said with fake sadness. Adara wasn't sure if the guards caught it. "Perhaps some other time, Adara." Within the minute, the soldiers were outside and the door was closed.

"Now," Daan said, gathering up materials and taking a seat across from Adara at the low table. "What was the other part of that reason?" Her head snapped up and she stared at him blankly. "You said your mother was half of it. What is the other?"

For a split second, she actually debated on telling him. She had known Daan all her life; she could trust him, and finally voice the reason for her actions instead of mulling them over in her mind. He would never see the battlefield...

But the moment passed, and she remained silent. She yearned for someone to talk to, but she had promised Patroclus, and fear for him was strongest in her mind and her heart.

She thought quickly to answer his question, but didn't need to search long. Picking up the closest bowl to her, she plastered a smile on her face and responded, "I haven't done this in much too long."

"Mother, I'm begging you!" Adara exclaimed hours later in her room with her mother. The healing with Daan did wonders for her, taking her mind off all that had been bothering her. But then she stepped outside the room and was immediately flanked by soldiers. That annoying itch started attacking her stomach again.

"This is for your protection!" her mother said, not understanding the problem.

Adara took a breath. "Yes, I know. But what protection do I need inside the walls of Troy?" She watched her mother open and close her mouth, looking oddly like a fish, while she tried to think of a suitable response. Adara knew there was none and seized her moment. "Mother, please. I understand why you are so worried. What happened to me, what happened to Carius...it's too much." Her mother's eyes became watery at the mention of her son. Adara took her hand. "Nothing will happen to me here in Troy, and I can't do anything with them surrounding me. I will go mad, I know it."

Her mother, looking older and sadder than Adara could ever remember seeing her, sighed and nodded. "All right," she said quietly.

The following day, Adara found a nice balcony near her rooms that gave her excellent visibility of the Greek camp. Back bent slightly, she leaned on her forearms, which rested on the stone that served as railing.

She couldn't explain how much better she felt simply being able to see the Greek camp, knowing he was somewhere down there. Her eyes searched the still lit campfires closest to the shore, knowing he could possibly be sitting around one of them, though he probably wasn't. He'd never really liked them - or rather, the people that grew boisterous and drunk around them.

At least, that was what he told her. She couldn't help but wonder if he just stayed in the tent to keep her company, because under the temple...

She sighed and hung her head.

"That's quiet a sigh," a voice said from behind, causing her to jump. "Sorry," Helen apologized. "Do you mind if I join you?"

"No, not at all," Adara said when she had regained composure.

Helen leaned against the wall next to her. "I've been meaning to talk to you since your return."

"Really?" Adara asked, wondering why; she barely knew the woman.

"Yes, but you always seemed...untouchable with those guards around you."

Forgetting everything else for a moment, Adara ranted, "Oh! Those men were driving me mad!"

"I think they would have driven anyone mad," the beautiful woman laughed, making a light, musical sound. But then she quieted, and the two were left in an odd, uncomfortable silence. "What I wanted to talk to you about was your brother, if that's all right with you."

Though a little taken aback and unsure, Adara liked Helen and wondered what she had to say. "Yes, it's fine." Fine. There was that word again, though this time she surprised herself by actually meaning it.

"I got to know your brother well in the short time I've been here. He was kind to me when not many people were," she started, looking out at the ocean. "Many times, we would stand out on the walls and watch, like you and I are doing now." She indicated their position, and a small, sad smile made it's way to her face. "Carius told me a lot about you. He said you were stronger than most people gave you credit for. Even after all the time that passed, he never stopped believing that you were somewhere down there, alive. I don't think you need me to tell you this, but Carius was strong and smart and kind, and he loved you very much."

"Thank you," Adara said, not really caring that her voice caught. Helen's words only proved to her that her dream had to have been more than that.

"Though he knew you were all right, he still worried about you," Helen continued, and Adara thought about the change in the woman's voice. "And I think he would worry now if he had heard that sigh."

Adara blinked in surprise and her cheeks grew red. She thought - and hoped - that the change in subject meant her sigh had been dropped and Helen had not thought much about it, but the knowing smile on her face suggested otherwise.

She gestured at the Greek camp. "Obviously one of them has made an impression on you. And I'm curious to know why, if one caught your attention so well, you escaped?"

Her tone was light, but there was a genuine interest and wonder in her voice. Adara had been searching for a reason to tell someone the truth, and now she had Helen, who was asking for it. She stared blankly at the woman and the words came out of her mouth before she could stop them.

"He let me go."

Helen's smile fell and Adara's hand flew up to cover her mouth. "He what?" Helen asked, her voice urgent.

Adara looked around helplessly, not knowing how else to explain it. "He let me go," she repeated.

"Who?"

Adara hesitated. "The warrior I was given to."

Helen saw the dodge, but she pressed Adara, and both knew that once that first detail had been said, all the others were in danger of following. "I meant who was he? What is his name?" Adara shook her head, refusing to give that away too. "Why did he let you go?" Again, she remained silent. "By the gods," Helen breathed, understanding.

"Please, Helen," Adara hurried to say, finding her voice now. "You mustn't tell Paris, I beg of you."

"Adara, of all the people in Troy, he and I would understand the most."

"I know that," Adara said, "but if Paris learns, he will tell Hector, and news will spread across the battlefield. If Agamemnon hears..." She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Please, Helen, don't say anything to anyone."

Helen remained silent, thinking about her choice. "I won't breathe a word of this," she promised, and Adara let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding. "It's noble of you to protect him, but you should not be ashamed of your heart's choices."

Adara couldn't help but smile at the honesty in the woman's eyes, but she shook her head sadly. Not all of them could be together like she and Paris. "It doesn't matter. I will never-" She choked on the words as they came out, and an ache started up in her chest. "I'll never see him again," she finished, quietly, breathlessly, because saying them aloud made her realize how true they were. She remembered their parting at the temple, and finally saw what he had when he pulled away.

Her attention was brought back to the present when Helen put her hand on Adara's shoulder. "That pain is normal," she said. "It's called heartbreak. It eases with time, but never really goes away."

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